by Jaye McCloud
She was first brought to my attention by Jason and Derrick. We were in Nicholas’s office when they were telling him about the new partnerships with a couple of local schools. Our cousin Rachael was mentioned; someone named Carmen and Rachael’s best friend, Tiressa. Derrick kept going on and on about wanting to see her and trying to get her to go out with him. I didn’t know he was into dating black women too. Shortly after that, Zach Roman, from personnel, brought Tiressa’s application to me with both Jason and Derrick listed as references. He informed me that Jason had asked him to find her a temp position for the summer. They wanted me to fast track her background check. When Rachael attended a family get-together, we spent a lot of time catching up, and she talked at length about her work and her best friend, Tiressa. My curiosity was well wetted. Derrick Matthews wanted her, my brother liked her and spoke highly of her, and Rachael talked about her like only a best friend does—with great fondness and admiration. Where I was just merely curious before, after that night, I was intrigued and determined to find out more about Tiressa Hawkins for myself.
I know I should pump my breaks, slow things down and give her more time. Yet, I can’t regret touching her and bringing her body close against mine. I could have sworn I got high off the scent of her. Even now, her sweet vanilla and amber essence lingers in my memory. I damn sure don’t regret for a minute, the feel of her muscles fluttering as I pressed my hand into her belly—my shaft actually twitched when I felt her quivers. Although I would like to ease Tiressa into our relationship, I can’t wait any longer. When it looked like she was getting serious with Derrick, I was prepared to interfere. But, she ended it herself. Which is good because they will never be together. She’s mine.
***
I go over it again and again, and still come up with the same conclusion…Antonio Bentini must be playing with me. There’s no reason for a wealthy handsome white guy to be interested in a black-girl from nowhere, with next to nothing. Okay, so I’m not dirt poor, but still, rich men like Antonio Bentini are used to wealthy women with social status, or skinny women that look like hot supermodels, or both—and I’m okay with that. What I’m not okay with, is being toyed with!
The next time I see Antonio Bentini, I’m fully prepared to confront him about my suspensions. However, although he shows up at my office door whenever I work very late, there are no more invites to dinner, no more insisting that I call him by his given name, and no more offers of a ride home.
I still think he has an ulterior motive but I’m getting more and more comfortable with him. He’s very likeable, and can be charming when he wants to be. Although I can have security give me a lift to my car, I enjoy our conversations on those short walks through the parking lot. I feel safe and protected when I’m close to him…like he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. I’m embarrassed to admit that a few times I parked my car unnecessarily far just so I could have more time with him.
***
With Ms. Carlito’s and Kathy’s help—not to mention Mrs. Bentini’s grand guidance—I’m doing a fine job of learning the ropes and handling my business. I’ve always been a dedicated, hard worker, and give 110% to whatever task I’m assigned. No matter how big or small. I love my job, and earning a fat-ass paycheck helps me love it even more. Mrs. Bentini is nowhere near as bitchy as I thought she was when I first started working for her. Yes, she gives orders like a drill sergeant, but I have come to realize that that’s just part of her gruff personality. She actually has a warm and generous heart and it’s plain to see that she loves and adores her family. It’s fascinating to watch the interaction between her and her family. She insists on being a major part of her children’s lives, and that’s a good thing…I guess. That’s so opposite of my experience. My mom couldn’t wait for us to get out and be on our own. My sister, Mya, and I starting learning at a very young age to be as independent as possible. Although most of the Bentini children have their own residence, they all spend a fair amount of time at Bentini Mansion.
I can’t help thinking about my current situation with Antonio Bentini. Actually, it seems like I never really stop thinking about him. Lately, he’s started back insisting that I use his given name. And I’m back to insisting that I don’t. He’s also asking me personal questions that I’d rather not answer. He wants to know everything about me…how I feel, what I think about, what I want to do with my life after I get tired of working for his mom. When he started asking me questions that he had no business asking, like…do I get tired of being lonely, and when do I think I’ll be ready to date again, I put a stop to our little private talks. He wants me to be an open book. The last time we talked, I made it clear that I’m not going to answer any more questions about my private life. He wasn’t pleased, and we ended up quarreling. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since. Although part of me is relieved, a part of me is also disappointed. These past couple of weeks he didn’t even wait to see if I was working late. He would show up at my office make himself comfortable, talk with me and sometimes hurry me up—lecturing me about working too hard and not letting my job keep me from having a personal life. It was during those times when he wanted to talk about my personal life and tell me about his, that I attempted to stop him from crossing the line that Mrs. Bentini set.
Although he can sometimes appear to be autocratic with others, he isn’t that way with me. Yes, he’s occasionally overbearing, but that’s mainly because he doesn’t want me working so late. When we’re alone together, I catch myself damn near ogling his big sexy body and handsome face with the strong square jawline. I especially enjoy watching the way he moves; for such a large man he’s very flexible.
It’s probably good that Antonio Bentini is upset with me and we’re no longer speaking. Because lately, whenever I meet his smoldering gaze, I just want to fall into his lips. Those masculine lips that somehow manage to look both firm and pliable. They aren’t as full as mine, but there’s plenty there to kiss and nibble on. At the oddest times, I catch myself wondering how those lips would feel against my skin. Sometimes, I even imagine winding my arms around his neck and running my fingers through his thick wavy hair. Oh how I want to climb up his tall frame and taste those tempting lips.
It’s because I’m having these tumultuous feelings that I must put an end to our forbidden friendship. Before I make a complete fool of myself!
***
Kathy and I aren’t always scheduled to attend the same meetings, or have the same itinerary; so we don’t always have lunch together. During one of those times, instead of going out to lunch with some of the other ladies, I decide to eat my lunch downstairs in the B&S cafeteria.
As I make my way to one of the smaller tables toward the rear of the room, I pass by several men sitting together talking boisterously while having lunch. I smile and return a general greeting to them and keep on walking. Not three minutes after I sit down, Lloyd Ables, leaves his group and approach my table.
“Hi, may I have a seat?” He pulls out the only other chair and sits down.
Damn. This guy can be so annoying, and he has been since the first time I met him at the kickball game when he showed up with Jason and Derrick.
“How’s it going Tiressa? Are you finding your way about okay?”
“Yep, people here seem to be nice and really helpful,” I reply offhandedly.
“Look, Tiressa I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward, but I’d like to get to know you.”
“Lloyd you know me, we’ve sat in meetings together and attended some of the same events”, I say jokingly.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I’d like to get to know you outside of the job. A fine sista like you should never be without a man.”
Pursing my lips and struggling to keep from rolling my eyes, I exhale a silent irritated breath. I’ve had similar conversations, like this, a couple of times since I started working here at B&S.
Lloyd is an okay guy. Unfortunately, he also sometimes behave as if he’s still in high school. What he
really means is that I’m the new girl here and he wants to be the one to tell his equally juvenile friends that he hit that. But, he’s getting it twisted if he thinks I’m an easy lay.
That shit’s not going to happen. “I don’t think so Lloyd. I have a lot on my plate right now and besides—”
“And besides…you’re in my seat.” Surprised, Lloyd and I both look up to see that Derrick has walked up to the table, and neither of us had even noticed him coming.
“Hey man”, Lloyd stands up swiftly, apologizing, “I didn’t know she was your lady…”
I quickly interject. “I’m not his lady or anybody else’s lady.” Both men ignore me.
“No harm, no foul”, Derrick says tersely. And just like that, Lloyd walks off.
“Damnit Derrick—”
“Whoa, whoa, why are you damning me…I just rescued you.” Derrick chuckles, clearly enjoying himself.
“It’s not funny Derrick, I—”
“Why? Because you think Allen Langston will find out that people think we’re dating?” When his eyes catches mines, he adds, “Again.”
That’s exactly why. But, I’m not going to give him the benefit of knowing he’s right. Besides my emotions are all over the place when it comes to Allen. My mind tells me that Allen is the right choice, but my stupid heart wants Antonio Bentini.
“How do you know about Allen?” I ask, a little taken aback. I haven’t mentioned him to anyone. Not even Kathy.
“Really Tiressa? I have eyes and I’ve definitely heard some things. I’m sure that as a former teacher, you know that there are no secrets on a school campus. For example, even I heard about you and that Clarence guy.” He smiles at my stunned expression. Then shrugs his shoulders before continuing. “Well, it’s the same in an office building—there are no secrets here. Men talk just as much as women.”
“That may be the case, but this has nothing to do with Allen. I just—”
The smirk is gone and Derrick is observing me with a serious look. “I think it does and if that’s the direction you’re going in, then I think you should know that Allen Langston has a wife.”
“That’s not true Derrick, and it’s really beneath you to s—”
“It’s true Tiressa, I can show you proof.”
“What kind of proof?” I ask in a calm voice--on the inside, my heart is beating a mile a minute, at the mere possibility that it could be true.
“Come by my office and I’ll show you.” Derrick now has a pleased expression fixed on his face.
“You know, Derrick, I didn’t take you for the vengeful type.” I accuse with a hurt, hard look.
“What do you mean? I’m just looking out for a friend who is very special to me.” Although his words sound sincere, enough, that tiny gleam in his eyes puts a different twist on things.
Appetite ruined, I toss my lunch in the nearest trashcan and head back to my office.
***
Instead of going to Derrick’s office to look at his so-called proof, I call Allen and ask him about his wife.
“Hey beautiful, there’s no sunshine here without you.” Allen usually starts our conversations off with cute and corny banter. And I usually play along and toss back cute and corny repartee of my own. But tonight I forego all of that and get straight to the point.
“Allen, tell me about your wife.”
The line goes silent for a long few seconds and then Allen says hesitantly, “Tiressa, let me explain before you go off…” Cause he knows that’s exactly what I’m about to do!
“So Derrick was telling me the truth! Damn you, Allen!” I cry out in disbelief. Shaken. I really liked Allen –I mean really liked him. Unlike Clarence, or Derrick…or even Keith, I thought he was the one.
“Don’t listen to that prick Tiressa! I—” Allen raises his voice.
“So, he’s a prick because he told me something that your deceptive ass should have said from the beginning. That you’re married!” I’m doing my best to remember that I’m at work and can’t be yelling my head off, even with my office door closed.
He pleads in frustration. “Tiressa, if you’ll just let me—” But I cut him off because as far as I’m concerned, this is a yes or no answer.
“Allen, if you’re married, then you absolutely had no business pursuing me!” I fiercely admonish.
“Damnit Tiressa, you’re not being reasonable! Just let me explain!” He shouts into my ear.
“You have one minute before I hang up this phone.” I say in my coldest voice.
Although he’s brought down the volume of his voice, he’s still speaking with a lot of desperation. “I was married Tiressa –was! I swear to you that my divorce is being finalized as we speak!”
“That’s very convenient Allen. I don’t believe you.”
“Tiressa, I swear I’m not married any more! It’s done! It’s over! It’s just a matter of the paperwork being processed!”
“If what you’re saying is the truth, why didn’t you tell me from the start?”
“Listen to me. I’m telling you the truth. We can be together!”
“No Allen—” I’m pretty sure he can tell by the sound of my voice that I’m not willing to listen to, or believe a word he has to say.
Exhaling another frustrated breath. “Look Tiressa, the crew is coming back and I can’t discuss this now. I’ll be back soon and we can talk about it then.”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Allen! Lose my number!”
***
“So, was I right or was I right?” Derrick asks as he saunters into my office.
“Look Derrick. I’m super busy and I don’t have time to talk to you.”
“Look Tiressa. You haven’t spoken to me in over a week. I can’t believe you’re still angry with me. I said I was sor—”
Although I know I’m not being fair to Derrick, I don’t care. I stand up to leave.
“Okay, I see you are still angry. Tiressa, I can’t stand having you this upset with me. Maybe this will help…I have to go out of town. I’m in charge of personally auditing the books for all the B&S stores. I’ll be gone–and out of your lovely face—for at least a couple of weeks.”
When I continue to gather my things, still preparing to leave, he lowers his voice and asks with husky hopefulness. “Can I call you?”
I shouldn’t have looked up, directly into his endearing topaz gaze. He’s throwing me the sad puppy-dog look.
And sucker that I am, I catch it.
Chapter 8
Kathy and I agreed to meet up at Mrs. Bentini’s home where we’ll give our report and receive our agendas. When I passed the background and security check, I was given an electronic card to swipe at the gate in order to be allowed entry onto the Bentini property. The Securtron card documents the date, time, and location every time it is in use. Although I have been here just about every other day, every time I drive through the gates I’m grateful that the road leading to the mansion is not one of those scary long winding roads in the middle of a damn forest. I can really appreciate the nice green landscape that offers a clear view of the grounds and the mansion. Mansion! I damn-near giggle in hysterics every time I think about how rich these people are. Sometimes I feel as if I have no business being here—even as an employee.
I park my car in the service area around the side of the building, and enter the mansion thru the service door that leads straight into the guardhouse. The guardhouse is more like a small room where anyone who is an employee or service provider must enter and check in with the security personnel on duty. Once you clear the guardhouse, you have access to the grounds. There are several points of entry into the mansion once you have access to the grounds. I usually take the easiest and quickest route—leaving the guardhouse and walking into the butler’s chamber. Yes, I said the butler has a chamber. Well, technically speaking, considering the size of the Bentinis’ estate, Mr. Honeycutt is actually an Administrative Household Manager, and would have ten fits if he heard anyone refer to him as a si
mple butler.
Normally, I would check in with Mr. Honeycutt so that he knows I’m here. He likes to escort ‘visitors’ to whomever they are here to visit with. Which is weird for me and Kathy because we work here—we aren’t visitors. I think Mr. Honeycutt is a bit of a control freak and he escorts us because he likes knowing where everybody is—inside the mansion or on the grounds. But Mr. Honeycutt isn’t in his office, so I call Mrs. Bentini, find out where she is, and proceed to make my way to her location.
Not yet familiar with the layout of the big house—as I like to call this big-ass palace—I make a wrong turn and end up in a part of the mansion that I haven’t been in before. As I turn to retrace my steps, I run right into something large, solid and unmovable. Strong hands grab me around the waist before I can stumble backwards. Catching my breath, I look up into the stern face of Antonio Bentini. And promptly lose my breath again! It’s clear to see that he’s still upset with me. The man staring back at me is not the thoughtful, caring Antonio Bentini that I have been having way too many heated dreams about. This man has the look of a cold intimidating executive, and I literally jump out of his arms stammering…