by Jaye McCloud
Then I really look at him. He looks tired, like he’s overworked or hasn’t been sleeping well. And, suddenly I’m not frightened any more—I know that Antonio Bentini isn’t some crazy rapist. I’m not afraid because he’s here, I’m afraid of the feelings I have for him, and I’m just not ready to face that yet.
“Can I offer you a drink?” …Decorum and courtesy again.
“No thanks. That’s not what I’m here for.” He says, as he takes a seat on my sofa. “Then why are you here, Mr. Bentini?”
“Don’t call me that Tiressa. I told you…I’m Antonio or Tony to you. You’ll call me Antonio or Tony or both if you prefer, but you will not call me Mr. Bentini again. I will not allow you to use titles to erect barriers between us.”
“Okay.” I quietly agree, still not able to address him by his first name. “What do you want? I thought you were mad at me. We haven’t been speaking.”
“We haven’t been speaking because…” He pauses for a second, looking into my eyes. “…because I was disappointed, and yes, angered by your repeated rejection. I’ll even admit to being hurt.” He says with unexpected candor, before continuing. “So, I dropped back—but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been keeping tabs on you. Now I’m here to declare my feelings, again, and make my intentions clear.” For the first time since meeting Antonio Bentini, his face is open to me. He isn’t teasing or baiting or intimidating. His expression reveals the straightforward truth. “I want you Tiressa.” Just as before, those words coming out of that mouth, said with such longing, does strange things to me.
“What does that mean, exactly?” I ask, wanting him to be absolutely clear and honest with me.
“It means I want a relationship with you. It means I want to be with you—to date you, publically. A real boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I want to know the real you and I want you to know the real me. We’ve been spending time together and I’ve enjoyed every single moment, even when you’re being stubborn.” He says that last part with a smile. “But I’d like for us to be together more. Getting to know one another personally…intimately. You know that I want you Tiressa. That isn’t a secret between us. But I also want you to want me too…and I think that you do.”
I don’t know if I believe him completely. And even if I did, what would be the point. It would never work…not long term. Antonio Bentini is not the first man to tell me that he wants me. But he is the first man that I’ve wanted passionately, in a very long time. That doesn’t mean I’m going to lose my mind and blindly fall into his bed. “You know that’s not possible. You know I’ll lose my job if I date you. That shows me that you don’t really care about me.”
“Like hell I don’t care about you! You’re important to me!” He declares with such intensity, that I feel almost compelled to believe him. “If you’re worried about employment or income, then that’s not a problem. I’ll be more than happy to take care of you. In fact, I would love to take care of you…to give you anything and everything you could ever wish for. Just say the word!” Antonio makes the offer as if he’s giving me a thousand expensive Christmases all in one day. And I guess his offer is something like that, except…
“It’s not that simple. I don’t want to be taken care of. I love my job…I love working. The last thing I want to do is stay home and be dependent on a man to give me what I want. I could never be that person. That wouldn’t make me happy.”
“Then tell me what will make you happy, and I promise I’ll give it to you if I can.” Looking him straight in the eyes, I ask for truthfulness. “Can you tell me with absolute honesty why you’re really attracted to me? Is it just for sex? Please just tell me why you want me?” With a quirk of the lips, he answers smoothly. “It will never be just sex between us. But in response to your other question…the quick and easy answer is that, I’m attracted to black women and I always have been. I want you because I’m attracted to you. What man in his right man wouldn’t be?”
Wow, now that’s mighty bold of him. I think I actually believe what he just said. “So, you want me because I’m black?” I ask with a bit of a black-girl attitude. Although truth to tell, I’m damn near on my tippy-toes with budding excitement.
“No, Tiressa, I want you for you. Your being a beautiful black woman is the cherry on top.” He says with more unexpected bluntness.
I have no comeback for that. He continues. “Are you saying that you’re not attracted to white men? Don’t lie, because I’ve seen you flirting around the office. If you can be attracted to white men, why can’t I be attracted to you?” Sending him a slight scowl, I clarify what he claims to have seen. “Mr. Ben—” Catching myself when he frowns at the use of his title. “An..Antonio, you haven’t seen me flirting at the office or anywhere else. If anything, you’ve seen me engaging in friendly banter.” For some reason, I don’t want him to think that I’m the type of woman that craves male attention and seeks it out by always being in some guy’s face. Which, I most definitely do not.
He sends me a crafty smile. “Okay, okay. I accept that you’re not an outrageous flirt.” That smile again. “So tell me why I can’t be attracted to you. Why we can’t be attracted to each other.”
“Because you’re rich”, I say, half teasing, half serious.
“So, you’re not giving me a chance because I’m rich? Tell me this Tiressa…are you attracted to me at all?” I’ve never seen Antonio Bentini looking so unsure before. Usually he exudes nothing but controlled self-confidence. Trying to get him to understand my confusing emotions, I reply, “More like, because you’re rich. You’re rich and white. You’re rich and white, and I work for your mother. She has rules, and her number one rule is no fraternizing with her sons. No matter how attractive I may find them.”
Without moving a muscle, he holds me prisoner. Challenging me not to shy away…to be direct. “I’m not talking about my brothers. I’m asking you how you feel about me, Tiressa. Are you attracted to me? Do you want me?” Looking him over from head to toe, I can’t seem to stop thinking about what I have to lose. Do I dare take a chance? Do I dare risk my job, for what could turn out to be a meaningless fling with the boss’s son? My heart is beating like a wild bird trapped in a cage. I finally answer. “Yes. But…”
“There are no buts.” Running his hands through his hair in relieved frustration, he commands in his -don’t dare defy me- voice, “Come here Tiressa.”
I sit where I am hesitating as he stares at me, challenging me to take the step that will be the beginning of us. I turn off all the negative thoughts flowing in my mind and focus on what feels good. It feels good to be with Antonio again and I don’t think I want to let that feeling go…at least not just yet. Finally, I move to sit on the loveseat next to the sofa—still hugging the pillow, in a lame attempt to cover myself. “Closer, Tiressa. Right here next to me.” He pats the sofa indicating exactly where he wants me. Although I don’t care for his arrogance, he’s still the most good-looking, the most powerful man I’ve ever been this intimate with.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that he’s out of patience with me. I slowly get up from the loveseat and sit down where he wants me to sit—next to him. My fingers automatically grip the edge of my nightgown, trying to pull it down to cover my knees. Antonio watches me with an amused expression, shakes his head, and then begins explaining why he insists on breaking his mother’s number one rule.
“First, you know that I speak my mind and I’m very direct about it.” When I nod, he continues. “I’m thirty-two years old, I don’t like playing games and I have a low tolerance for bullshit. Despite what the rumor mill says, I don’t do a lot of dating and I don’t have sex indiscriminately. In fact, I’m very selective about the type of women I become involved with, and even more discerning about the women I take to my bed.” While he’s speaking, he slides his arm along the back of the sofa behind my head, and moves closer to me. Now we’re pressed against one another and I can feel his hard heat seeping into the side of my body, wa
rming me from head to toe. Although I’m sure Antonio wants to make love, I’m not sure that I want it to happen tonight.
He starts toying with the buttons on my nightgown as he’s speaking, causing my mouth to go dry and my nerves to tingle out of control. “I’m not lying when I say I want you. I’m not lying when I say that I can’t stop thinking about you…that I want us to be together. Let’s be upfront about it… I want you and you want me. To deny that is to reject what’s happening between us.
Second, I’ve been hot for you since the first time I laid eyes on you…since the first time we laid eyes on each other. Not in the conference room when you walked in with Katherine and I was staring at your reflection the entire time I had my back to the room. No, I’m talking about the first time we laid eyes on each other. When you were standing in your office doorway and I winked at you as I walked by.” Although he does not smile, the corners of his eyes show delight as he takes in the surprised look on my face. “So, you see? You didn’t have to do anything, but be your beautiful alluring self…I was gone from the moment I saw you. Perhaps even before that.” Leaning even more into me, he goes on, his voice lower, rougher.
“Third…” He pauses to give me a little butterfly kiss on the nose. “…at the root of it all, when it comes to you, the woman I want, the woman I’m crazy about, I can be a barbarian if need be. I’m determined to have you whether you’re confused about wanting me or not. I won’t let your uncertainty, resistance, or fear, stand in my way…stand in our way. I’ve given you all the time you’re going to get. So, brace yourself Tiressa, because as of tonight, the minute I walked through your door, we became a twosome…you’re no longer single, I’m no longer single. You’re my lady and I’m your man. We belong together.” Placing a finger under my chin, he gently touches his lips to mine. “Soon, I will enjoy discovering every tasty little nook and cranny of your hot sexy body, and you, my sweet lady, will learn to crave my wild passionate lovemaking.”
After delivering those blazing words, he grabs a handful of my hair and slowly pulls my head back, causing me to gasp in surprise. All pretense of gentleness is gone as he crashes his lips down on mine, forcing my lips apart as he invades my mouth with his domineering tongue. His other hand cradles my jaw as he angles my head back farther, taking my mouth ruthlessly, showing me that he’s in total control, and that I have no choice but to submit. And submit I do; absolutely thrilled by what his mouth is doing to mine. I’m finally feeling his sensual lips on mine as I get my first taste of him. Smooth warm velvet with a hint of some type of liquor. He moves his hands to cradle the sides of my face, moaning deeply into my mouth as he slants my head so that he can keep contact as he devours me. The kiss is erogenous and all consuming. My head is spinning with the flavor and the feel of him. Just when I’m sure I’m going to faint, he releases my mouth.
“No other man is going to have you Tiressa. You’re mine.”
As I lay back against the sofa, limp and panting, he grabs the neck of my nightgown and rips it open, completely exposing my full chocolaty mounds to his desire filled gaze. Although I was too spellbound too put up any resistance before, I’m resisting now. I try to sit up, gripping the edges of my nightgown in an attempt to cover myself. “Please, wait…I’m not ready for this yet.”
He pulls my legs wide apart as he slides between them and then to the floor on his knees. Clamping my wrists in his big steely hands, he pins them down on the sofa, on either side of my body. I’m immobilized by his weight.
“Don’t worry baby, I’m not going to make love to you tonight. But I am going to need a little taste to hold me until I do.”
Opening his mouth over my quivering breast, I feel his smooth wet tongue swipe across one dark brown peak causing it to pucker as if begging for more. Then he moves to give the other equal attention. He shifts slightly, and lowers his face back down to suck the pebble hard berry into his mouth, pulling and tugging greedily. Shards of intense pleasure pulsating at my core causes me to let out a series of reluctant moans. So much so, that I barely recognize the wanton sounds coming from my throat. Head thrown back against the sofa, nails digging into Antonio’s shoulders, I pant breathlessly out of control. My entire body is sizzling. What he’s doing to me is beyond anything I’ve ever fantasized. Antonio is relentless in the attention he lavishes so masterfully on my throbbing little buds. Without a doubt, they have never been so worshipped like this before. I’m not sure if I’m pleading with him to stop or to keep going, but I’m on the verge of a serious orgasm.
Just when I think I can’t take much more, he reaches down between my thighs, causing me to arch my back completely off the sofa in the most intense pleasure.
“My, how very wet you are. A man likes to know that he pleases his lady.”
Those words—said in such a self-satisfied purr—hit me like a bucket of ice-cold water. Because Antonio is no longer holding me down and has put some space between our bodies, I manage to push him back enough to spring off the sofa before he can stop me. Leaning against the wall on trembling, rubbery legs, I clutch my ripped nightgown together with visibly shaking hands, trying to catch my breath. After his initial surprise, he sits down on the sofa with his elbows resting on his spread knees, taking deep breathes. I can only hope that he’s trying to gain some semblance of control, just as I am.
“You’re every bit as delicious as I knew you would be.” Antonio says when he stands up. “It’s okay baby. Like I said, I only needed a little taste to hold me.” Instead of making a move towards me, he reaches inside his jeans to adjust himself. I hadn’t notice the huge bulge until then. He sees that my eyes are glued to his crotch and smiles as he says in his deep husky voice, “Don’t worry love, this is going to be all yours soon…very soon. For now, I’m going to leave and let you get some rest.” He opens the door, but before walking out of my apartment, he turns back to me and says, “I like your hair down. You should wear it that way more often.” Then sweeping my body with another heated glance, he delivers one more revelation, “As far as those beautiful legs go, I like that I’m the only man who gets to see and feel what a turn on they are.” After he leaves, I hurry to lock up and take myself back to my empty bed.
Tonight marks a turning point in my life. Antonio Bentini has forced his way into my world. And for me, things will never be the same. I’m covered with the essence of him. Although it’s a scent I relish, I feel as if he has marked my body as his. His possession.
Climbing into bed, although I’m exhausted, I can’t stop replaying the things Antonio said and did to me. If that was just a small taste of what’s to come, then I’m both anticipating and apprehensive about what will happen if -when we do finally make love.
Sleep is a long time coming, but eventually I doze—with flashes of the scene on the sofa running in my dream like an X-rated movie. And me repeating Antonio’s name over, and over in sexual bliss.
Chapter 9
Although the thought of getting involved with Antonio is terrifying, I’m honestly flattered that he wants me. Now, I’m not stupid… I know he definitely wants to sex me, but I’m not totally convinced that he really wants a very public, monogamous relationship with me. Yet, sometimes, I’m more than willing to let myself to believe that he’s being completely honest with me…that he’s serious about there being an us.
Besides, I just got my job and I really, really like doing what I do. It’s so different than being trapped in a classroom, underpaid and underappreciated. I enjoy working for Mrs. Bentini—secretly, I get a kick out of being at the mansion—and I like working at B&S. People try to give me gifts and do things for me because they know that I work closely with the Bentini family and they hope that I’ll put in a word or two on their behalf. The bottom line is, I like my job and I want to keep doing it. Not to mention the very real possibility that Mrs. Bentini will probably fire me on the spot if she suspects that Antonio and I are seeing each other.
Hot damn! I just said it. Antonio and I are seeing each ot
her.
After my usual six a.m. workout at a local family-run gym, I run a few quick errands for Mrs. Bentini and then report to B&S as directed. Smiling at Mrs. Cooper, I stop at the reception desk to find out if Ms. Carlito is in her office and ready to see me. Mrs. Cooper is such a sweet person, but she can be a barracuda if need be. And she’s extremely loyal to the Bentini family. Pushing a button on the phone, she gives me the go ahead to enter Ms. Carlito’s office.
“Good morning Ms. Carlito”, I greet as I enter her office. “Good morning Tiressa, have a seat”, she replies with a welcoming smile. Getting right to the point, Ms. Carlito continues with, “As you know, plans are well underway for the B&S annual company picnic in the park across the street.” I smile because she knows that I have learned that the park across the street is called Bentini Park, and is held in partnership with the Bentini family. “You and Kathy will be sitting in on a meeting today, with Vera McDonald and her staff. Vera is Head of Strategic Planning, and as such, in charge of making sure the picnic is a hit. She’s always in need of helping hands during one of these big events; which is where you and Kathy come in. Vera will tell you what she needs.”
“Of course we’ll be glad to help out any way that we can”, I assure Ms. Carlito.
“Great. The meeting will be starting soon in the Blue conference room on the third floor. Kathy may already be there.”
“Thanks Ms. Carlito. Will that be all?”
“Yes.” As I’m about to exit her office, she adds one more thing. “Listen, I know that you and Kathy are also working with Mrs. Bentini on the wedding anniversary and the upcoming party for Jason and Adam, but this shouldn’t take up too much of your time. You’ll just have to weave it through everything else.” Well, she did tell me that this job was full time, and then some. I guess that’s why I get paid the big bucks.