by Naomi Niles
“Oh? Well, you can’t blame him for having good taste.”
She blushed. “I guess you’re right, but still. I just wish that he would bother someone else.”
I narrowed my eyes as I took another sip of my drink. Before I knew it, the bottom was empty. She whisked the glass away and poured me another before I could even ask for a refill. “You are good at your job,” I said as she placed my drink on the coaster.
“Yeah. That is not the only thing I am good at.” I smiled. Her eyes danced over my body until she spoke up again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”
“Harrison.”
She extended her hand to shake mine. “Well, Harrison, it is nice to meet a fine, distinguished man like yourself. Tell me, do you happen to be married? Perhaps, a girlfriend lurking around here somewhere? I don’t want to get you into any trouble.” I immediately thought about Caroline. Normally, there wouldn’t have been a thought of any other woman in my mind, especially when there was a temptation like this standing right in front of me. I glanced away from her for a second as if Caroline was going to walk through the doors of the restaurant at any moment.
“No, I am not married. However, I do have a girlfriend.” She wasn’t officially mine, but I just figured that it was only a matter of time before she was.
“A girlfriend, huh?” She gave me a once-over. Her full lips glistened with gloss as she spoke again. “Well, I can’t say that I am surprised. A sexy man like you? Yeah, I didn’t expect you to be on the market.” She reached into her pocket and slid her card onto the table. “I don’t know how long you are going to be here, but, if you want to have some fun for a night or two and then forget it ever happened, just call me. I’m sure we can find a few things to do to kill some time.” She brushed her hand on top of mine as she softly bit her bottom lip, then walked towards another customer that had arrived at the bar.
I finished my drink, pulled a 20 out of my pocket, and dropped it on the counter next to her card, then walked out of the bar. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t take her card. Normally, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but now, all I could think about was Caroline. It was hard to believe that she could bring so much change into my life by just being herself. I didn’t even recognize who I was anymore.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Caroline
I climbed into the car and called Meghan to let her know I was on the way to the beach to meet up with her. I felt a bit relieved to get away from Harrison for a little while so I could clear my mind. I knew he was a good guy, but I just had to get things sorted out before I continued with him in confidence. When I got to the beach, I sent Meghan a text. “Just arrived. Are you here?”
“Yes. Just have him drop you off, and I will take you back to your hotel. I will walk near the edge of the beach. You can’t miss me.”
“OK.”
I let the driver know that I would be fine by myself, and after he had helped me out the car, I scanned the beach for Meghan. Guys walked around shirtless with muscular, athletic bodies. Tall, short, long hair, and cropped. For a moment, I wished that my life could be that easy. Why couldn’t I find a young version of Harrison? Someone who was NOT Sarah’s father. Just then, I saw Meghan lift her hand into the air and flag me down. She wore a large hat and a skimpy bikini that showed off her body. I walked across the sand as the grains found their way between my toes. We embraced each other when I was close.
“Hey, girl! It is good to see you again! I thought I wasn’t going to lay eyes on you until I made a visit from Seattle in another year or so.”
“Yeah, so did I.”
She grabbed my hand and led me across the sand until we got to her spot. There was an umbrella perched in the sand, providing shade for two large beach towels that laid underneath. Clear blue water brushed against the shore as we laid down on the towels. Meghan removed her shades to get a better view of the guys that eased past us, smiling in our direction. “Umph. I wish I could take a handful of these men to Seattle with me. I am going to be so lonely out there.”
“No, you won’t. You’ll make friends easily. You are such a people person, and for some reason, everyone is drawn to you. You’re like a magnet for people.”
“Yeah,” she said as she placed her glasses back over her eyes, “you’re right. Everyone loves me.” She laughed as I rolled my eyes at her cockiness. “So, how’s the job going? Do you think it is enough to make you stay put instead of moving out here?”
I untied the towel from around my waist and leaned back underneath the shade. “I don’t know. I mean, I love the job. It is exactly what I went to school for, so I can’t complain. I just don’t know if I want to spend my life in Cottonwood.”
“Your life?” she asked, quizzically, “Who is talking about your life? I just mean for right now, you know? Get a few years of experience, so your options open up more once you do decide to leave.”
“Oh,” I said as she pulled me towards her train of thought. For some reason, my mind went straight to Harrison, as if she was speaking in regard to him. That was another thing about our relationship. I knew that he was probably set in his ways, and moving out of Cottonwood may not be something that he would want to do. I didn’t plan on living there for the rest of my life, though. We hadn’t talked about it, but we hadn’t even gotten to that point yet, and I wasn’t one to put the cart before the horse. “Yeah, for right now,” I continued. “Well, for right now, it is alright. I mean, the people are cool. It is close to home, and the pay is good, so for right now, yeah. It’s alright.”
She didn’t say anything, and after a few moments passed by, I turned towards her. She glared at me with one eyebrow lifted above the other as if she knew I was withholding information. “What?” I said, smiling. “Why are you looking at me like that?’
“Because, I know there is more to that story, Caroline. So, I will sit and wait for you to tell me everything else.”
“Everything else?”
She removed her glasses and placed them on the towel. “So, are you really going to think I don’t know anything about you two? Really? You do know that my little sister and my cousin still go to ASU.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Johnathan is a fucking bastard, Meghan. He is a fucking bastard.”
She laughed. “Yeah, he is. I could’ve told you that. He is a spoiled little punk, and I know you already knew it, but for some reason, you still wanted to let him hang around you like a little puppy dog, so… that’s what happened.”
“I mean, he looked at my phone when Harrison texted me and then jumped to conclusions after that. He is a fucking stalker, and I’m glad I smacked him in the face.” She laughed out loud as I continued, “It’s not funny, Meghan!”
She caught her breath. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but I just can’t imagine you smacking anyone. Not a guy. Not in a million years.”
“Well, I did. I hit him pretty good, too. He deserved it.” Another group of guys walked by us, tossing a football in the air. One of them winked towards me, but I rolled my eyes, hoping that he wouldn’t try to talk to me. My heart wasn’t on anyone except Harrison, and as much as I didn’t want it to be that way, that’s just how it was. “Well, maybe he didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t up-front with him, and that’s what I get.”
“Yeah, but he was stalking you. That is not cool.” She stopped laughing and put her shades back on. “But back to you and Harrison. Are you two really fucking?” I hesitated to answer her because I didn’t know how she would react. Meghan wasn’t as judgmental as most people, but I felt like this situation could bring it out of her. “Caroline? Come on, tell me. Are you two fucking?”
I sighed. “Yes. We fucked a few times and… I really don’t know how it happened. One minute, I was at his house consoling him and the next, he was on top of me.”
“He raped you!?”
“No, no!” I said, quickly putting an end to the thought. “No. I was completely willing to let him screw me. It was just… I just
wasn’t supposed to happen.” I looked away from her as the sun beamed down onto the water. I could feel tears tiptoeing into my eyes as thoughts of Sarah filled my mind. “I mean, it just looks shitty, you know? It looks real shitty of me as Sarah’s best friend.”
I wiped my eyes as Meghan got up and put her arm around me. “I’ll be honest, it does look shitty, but nobody knows what is going on between you two. Well, what is going on between you two? Is this just like a fling or something? Or is it more?”
“I don’t know, Meghan. I like him. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, but it’s just the situation that we are in. The way people think about us. The way people will think about me. You have already heard the rumors that Johnathan started at ASU. I just don’t want to deal with all that stuff, you know? I don’t want people to think that I am this shitty-ass person who fucked her best friend’s dad after she died.”
“Yeah, I can see some people coming to that conclusion.” I sighed. Meghan would always tell me what I needed to hear and not what I wanted to hear. I appreciated that about her. “But fuck them.” I twisted my face while I looked in her direction. “Yeah, fuck them. Fuck all of them. Fuck them at ASU and anywhere else that has anything to say about what you are doing with Harrison. You are a grown woman, and he is a grown man. What you two do is your business. I don’t know how you two got together, and honestly, I don’t care, because again, that is not my business. If you like him, or if you just want to get fucked for a little while by a fine-ass older man, that’s up to you. Fuck everyone else.”
Her answer surprised me. I thought she was going to give me a list of reasons why I should stop talking to Harrison, but she didn’t. She told me exactly what I needed to hear. The feelings didn’t go away immediately, but I knew that I would eventually see things the way she did. She was right. I am grown, and so is Harrison, so neither of us should care what anybody else thought about what we had going on between each other. Without warning, I put my arms around Meghan. “Thank you for that. Honestly. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Caroline. Now, I am no Sarah, but I am always willing to hear you out. I know that she was your bestie and all, and she can’t be replaced, but I just want you to know that I am here for you. Anytime you need me, I am here for you.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime. Now,” she stood up and wiped the sand from her behind, “I am going to walk my sexy ass around on this beach and see what kind of men I can scrounge up for myself. You aren’t the only one who can find a sexy-ass man to have sex with. Come on,” she said as she pulled me up by my arm. “You are coming with me. Even if you aren’t giving your pussy away, you can at least act like you are for me. Come on.”
I laughed as she pulled me across the sandy beach to approach a huddle of young boys. I needed this time alone with her because it helped confirm what I needed to do with Harrison. Later that night, she brought me back to the hotel. I went straight to Harrison’s room, and when he opened the door, I gave him a solemn glance. “Are you alright?” he asked cautiously.
I closed the gap between us and planted a kiss on his lips, then wrapped my arms around him. “I’m sorry, Harrison. I’m sorry for acting like such a bratty little girl yesterday because of some stupid rumors. None of that matters. The only thing that matters is us, and I know I’ve said that before, but this time, I mean it. No more outside noise will distract me from you, OK?”
He smiled, then held me tighter. For the first time, I felt that every insecurity I had about the way we got together had vanished into thin air. I was free to love Harrison in whatever way I wanted to, because it was our business and that was all that mattered. I could only hope that he felt the same way about me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Harrison
I stretched my hand across the mattress. My eyes sprung open when I realized that Caroline wasn’t next to me. Slowly, my mind brought me back to reality. It had been a few days since we came back from California, but I still envisioned her laying right next to me. It wasn’t just the fact that she kept me company, but it was the warmth I felt in my soul when she was close. After a deep exhale, I reached for my phone. Coping with Sarah’s death was just beginning to get better, but I still had a hard time letting go. Her room was still completely intact, and I planned on keeping it that way for as long as I lived in this house.
My cell phone was still full of her voicemails. I flipped through until I landed on one at random. “Hey, Dad. School is almost over! I cannot wait to walk across that stage and grab my diploma, then throw up a big middle finger to ASU!” She laughed. “I’m kidding. I love that school, but it is time to step into the real world. Start a career. Build a family. You know, normal grown-up stuff. Anyways, just calling to say hi. So, hi. I love you. Call me later.” I glanced at the diploma cover that I received when I walked across the stage in her place. I hadn’t done anything like that since high school, but it made me want to further my education. I didn’t have a reason to go, but it was just something that crossed my mind. Something that would help keep Sarah’s image alive. I grabbed my things and headed off to work.
When I walked into the building, Brian stood at the front, speaking with one of our head construction guys. “Hey, Phillip,” I said, interjecting myself into their conversation.
“What’s up, boss?”
He grabbed my hand and shook with firmness. “Nothing much, man. Good to see you. How’s all?”
“Things are alright.”
I looked at Brian just as he spoke up. “Yeah, except our guys didn’t come in to take care of the grass again.”
“I noticed. What is this? The second or third time in the last few months?”
He shook his head. “Yeah, man, something like that. It may be time to find ourselves a new group. One with a little more consistency.”
“My sentiments exactly. Well, I’ll go upstairs and get ready so we can knock it out. Luckily, it’s not sweltering out there.”
“Hold on, boss,” he turned to Phillip and handed him a sheet of paper. “So, yeah, those are the adjustments, and if you have any problems, just give me a call, and I’ll walk you through it.”
“Got it, Brian.”
Afterward, Brian followed me to the elevator, giving me an update on a recent account. Our guys were nearly finished with it and making room for another project whenever we could land it. When the elevator stopped on our floor, Caroline stood on the other side just as the doors opened. She smiled as soon as she noticed me. “Hey, Harrison. Hey, Brian. How are you guys doing?”
“Good,” I said, mirroring her expression. “I just showed up not too long ago.”
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah. Yeah, we’re just um, we’re just going to go out and take care of the lawn since our guys didn’t show up, you know? Guy stuff.”
“OK.” She scooted past us as I held the door open for her. “Well, you guys take care of the, um, ‘guy stuff’ and I guess I’ll catch up with you later. Oh, before I forget, I dropped a few papers off on your desk for you to look over. No rush. I just wanted you to see the numbers and projections for this month.”
“OK. I’ll look them over.”
I let the door close on her smile as Brian laughed. “Man, you are acting like you are in high school again. Your nose is wide open.”
“Is that what it is?” I said, walking to my office. “A funny thing happened today before I left my house. My ex came by out of nowhere.”
“Your ex?”
“Sarah’s mom.”
His eyes widened. “Really? How long has it been since you saw her?”
“She came to my house not too long after Sarah died. It was some bullshit, but before that, it had been years, man. Sarah was maybe 3 or 4 years old. She just left. No note. No contact. She just went ahead and expected me to figure everything out on my own. I did, but that is not the point. She left, and since then, I never settled down with anyone. It was always one-night stands here and there, you know?
Nothing to signify anything concrete.” I looked at him as he stood by my desk, waiting for me to change my shirt. “You know what it was? I didn’t realize it until she came this morning. I was just afraid of commitment. I was scared that the next woman I met was going to leave me just like Sarah’s mom.”
“Wow,” he said as he rubbed his chin. “That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense, boss. It is just crazy that it took you seeing her again for you to realize that. What happened when she came over?”
I took off my shirt and threw on a white T-shirt to help reflect the sunlight when we went outside. “Nothing. I didn’t even let her in. I told her to get the fuck out of my face and never come back.” He laughed as I continued, “She said that she tried to contact me when Sarah passed away, but my phone was disconnected. My phone has not been disconnected since I was in my early 20s. I don’t know who the hell she was calling, but it wasn’t me. She said she found my number with a Google search.”
“Yeah man,” he said as he grabbed water bottles from the refrigerator, “it doesn’t take much to find someone these days. You should probably make your information private or something. I don’t know if that will help, but hell, it’s better than nothing.” He tossed me a water bottle. I caught it with one hand. “So, how does that affect your thing with Caroline?”
“My thing?”
“Well, I don’t know what to call it. You won’t say that the two of you are an item, but then again, you won’t tell me if you are. So, I just call it, ‘your thing.’”