by Ponzo, Gary
“Excuse me?”
She tilted her head. “Come on. You said you would tell me why you ended up at Cabrini-Green. I mean, if you knew there was going to be a shooting, why in the world would you go anywhere near there?”
He studied her for a moment, then glanced away and took a long pull of his Scotch. “It’s not that big of a deal. I was hoping I was wrong about the shooting, but in case I wasn’t, I thought I could help—maybe warn the cop or something.”
“So you really were trying to save him? The undercover cop thought you were trying to blow his cover.”
He shook his head and studied the golden swirl of liquid in his glass. “No. That would be the last thing I wanted to do.”
She believed him. He hadn’t even mentioned the lack of thanks he had received from the cop he had saved. “Did you ever consider that you might be shot instead? I mean, it was pretty reckless of you to tackle him. You basically took a bullet meant for him. That kind of makes you a hero.”
Mark’s jaw clenched, and he set the glass down. “Look, I know I promised you answers, but the truth is, it’s not that exciting. I showed up because I was curious. I saw the cop, decided to follow him, and then heard the car come around the corner at a high rate of speed. I figured that was the car with the shooters, and I reacted. That’s it. I didn’t plan on saving the guy, and if given a second chance, I’m not sure I would do the same thing, so that doesn’t exactly make me a hero.” After holding her gaze for a moment, he broke eye contact , and rubbed the back of his neck, his expression sheepish. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to go off like that. I just would really like to drop the subject and enjoy a nice dinner.”
She bit her lip and regarded him. He really believed he wasn’t a hero. In her eyes, that made him even more of one, but she just nodded and remarked on how wonderful the hot fresh rolls smelled and took one from the basket.
Dinner progressed, and she was happy that after the tension of discussing the shooting, they were able to fall back into the comfortable conversation style they had shared previously at Mark’s loft. The meal was fabulous, and they had decided to split a dessert. They dug in, laughing at how full they were, but it was so good, they couldn’t pass it up. She had another glass of wine, but he switched to a soft drink since he was driving.
Afterward, it was still early, and Mark walked her up to her door. She didn’t want the date to end, and he didn’t seem to either, but as nice as the date had been, she wasn’t comfortable inviting him in…yet. The night was gorgeous, with a full moon and about as many stars as were possible to see in the middle of a large city. The air was still soft with only a little chill. On an impulse, she took his hand, and said, “Let’s go for a walk.”
After an initial look of surprise, he gave her a slow smile. “I’d like that.”
“Oh wait. I forgot about your leg.”
“It’s fine. After such a big meal, and sitting for so long, it’ll be good to stretch it out.”
He hadn’t relinquished her hand, and they descended the few steps from her porch to the ground and strolled down the street. Warm yellow light spilled out of some houses, and laugh tracks to sitcoms floated through open windows, adding to the background noise of distant traffic and an occasional cricket.
Without realizing it, she had huddled close to Mark as they walked. The dress had only thin straps over her shoulders, and goose bumps rose on her skin. Although the day had been warm, the temperature was only low sixties now by her estimate. She should have grabbed a sweater before setting off on the walk.
Mark stopped and looked her for a moment before releasing her hand shrugging out of his suit jacket, draping it over her shoulders. “Here. You must be cold.”
She smiled, drinking in the smell of his cologne mixed with his own scent. Pulling it more firmly over her shoulders, she held the edges closed. “Thanks.”
Instead of taking her hand, since she was using it to keep the jacket closed, he draped his arm over her shoulders. They continued to walk, and he told her some more about Afghanistan, skipping the brutality he had mentioned before and just focusing on the beauty of the land.
When they circled the block and came back to her house, she slowed her steps, but eventually, they made it to her door. She turned and leaned against it, telling him about how she had never gardened before buying this home, but now she enjoyed planting a few flowers. He listened, and nodded, but stepped closer. Her heart sped up, and her breathing faltered for a moment. He was so close, the familiar cologne now enveloped her, emanating from him and even more enticing. At some point, he had untied his tie and it hung around his neck loosely, the button to his collar undone. She could see the pulse in his neck and it seemed to match her own.
He leaned in, his lips lightly brushed hers, as if testing his welcome. She tilted her head back, allowing him better access, and closed her eyes when the pressure of his lips increased. There was just a hint of rasp on her skin from his whiskers, even though she knew he must have shaved shortly before picking her up because he had that freshly shaved look. The feel of the whiskers didn’t bother her at all.
His arm slid beneath the jacket, and rested on her bare shoulder, lightly stroking up and down her arm as the kiss deepened.
She cupped the back of his neck, feathering through the soft hair at his nape, smiling against his mouth when he moaned at her action.
Finally, they broke the kiss. She almost invited him, in, but he stepped back, his breathing ragged. “Can I call you again?”
Call her again? Hell, yeah! But she didn’t say that. She simply smiled, nodded and slipped his jacket off, handing it to him.
* * *
As Mark strolled along the Michigan Avenue Bridge, he tugged his polo shirt away from his skin to stir a breeze. Summer’s humidity had evaporated in the early September air and with winter looming just a few months distant, he wished he could store the heat for future use.
He had one photo shoot scheduled for the day and it wasn’t until mid-afternoon. He held the camera, the thrum charging up his arms stronger than he had ever felt before. He rubbed a smudge off the metal body with the edge of his thumb, wondering if the extra energy was because it hadn’t delivered a future photo the day before. Did the camera bank energy on days it didn’t produce a future photo? It was an interesting idea and he decided he would start tracking the results the day after a quiet day, just out of curiosity.
Aiming at a bas-relief sculpture on the bridge, he took a few photos. Even if it didn’t produce a future photo, the shots would be good ones to frame. Maybe he could sell them. Next, he turned towards the river. A few water taxis plied the water and tour boats made their scheduled trips up and down, but no sailboats were heading his way, so there was no danger of the bridge rising any time soon. Monday wasn’t the biggest day for boaters anyway. He hadn’t really planned to take photos of the river, but he was still basking in the glow from last night’s date with Jessie. It had been their one month anniversary of dating. His mind on the date, he hadn’t been paying attention to where he was going. This was as good a place as any other to take future photos. The water sparkled as if strewn with diamonds.
He brought the ram’s head on top of the guardhouse into focus, and pushed the shutter. This would be a nice place to propose—when the time was right. Perhaps in the spring. Or Christmas. He grinned. Talk about getting ahead of yourself. What would his parents think of Jessie? He hadn’t even said anything to them yet, just hinted that he was seeing someone. He didn’t want to get his mom’s hopes up and if he told her too much, she would call him for daily updates.
All he had told them was he was seeing someone and when he was ready, he would tell them the details. He felt a twinge of guilt that he had used his relationship with Jessie to get out of a few trips home this summer. He swept the guilt into the far corner of his mind.
He lowered the camera and slipped his arm through the strap, letting the camera dangle against his side as he leaned against the railing. A
breeze carried over the river, ruffling his hair while the sun soaked into his skin. With nothing more pressing than the photo shoot later, the day felt like a holiday. A bike ride would be great. If the shoot went well, he could probably squeeze one in before it became too dark. To get his leg back in shape, he had done a lot of riding, but the last few weeks, he had been so busy catching up on photo jobs he had been forced to reschedule while recuperating, coupled with the future photos he tried to work into his week, he just hadn’t had time for a hard bike ride. The only thing that would make the day perfect would be to see Jessie tonight, but she was going to her niece’s ballet recital and then out to dinner with her sister and her family afterwards.
Mark pushed away from the rail. His stomach rumbled and with lunch on his mind, he finished out the roll by taking some photos of a large sailboat heading towards him. Done, he ambled off the bridge before it would have to rise to allow the sailboat with its tall mast, through to the locks and out into the lake. His timing was perfect.
* * *
His leg ached after the short, but intense bike ride. Mark did his best to ignore the pain as he pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt after showering. The ache just meant it was getting stronger. Hopefully. He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed some sports cream into the scar and the muscles around it, wrinkling his nose at the strong scent. He glanced at the bedside clock. Dinner should arrive any moment. Tonight was Chinese and his mouth watered in anticipation. Impatient, he moved to the window and peeked through the blinds to see if the delivery car had parked below. Shoot.
Sighing, he pulled his fingers from between the slats and headed to the dark room. Tomorrow he had three bookings. The first one was short, just an acting headshot. He had worked with the guy previously and knew he was easy to work with. Next was a catalog shoot, but it was at a jewelry store, not his studio. Remembering his idea about proposing earlier, he quashed a momentary panic. Just because he was going to be surrounded by diamond rings didn’t mean he had to actually buy one. Or even look at them. He could just play it by ear. Besides, he probably wouldn’t have time to browse. As soon as he finished the shoot, he had to high tail it across town to the John Hancock Center. A client lived on the sixty-fourth floor and wanted good photos of the interior and the gorgeous view overlooking the lake, to help sell the condo. He couldn’t even recall what his last shoot involved and supposed he should run down to the studio and check the appointment book, but he was pretty sure it was a look-see to find models for a high end children’s clothing line. It made sense because look-sees with kids had to be scheduled after school hours.
Which such a jam-packed schedule, it had crossed his mind to leave the camera on the shelf today. If there were any saves on the agenda, he hoped he would be able to squeeze them in between jobs. If he had to, the Hancock shoot could take place the next day. The client had already said he was flexible as long as it was done before the next week. The only thing he wouldn’t have time for would be to get new future photos.
While waiting for the delivery, he prepared the dark room. His buzzer went off just as he finished getting it ready. Perfect timing. He could develop the roll and let the photos dry while he ate.
After paying for the food, he snatched an eggroll out of the bag, eating it as he returned to the darkroom. The roll was hot and crispy. Popping the last bite into his mouth, he swiped his fingers on his shorts and prepared the first steps in processing the film. One day, pressed for time, he had used a one-hour place to develop the film, but the clerk had questioned him about the photos of the bike rider lying in the street covered in blood. The question had caught him by surprise and he had stammered out some flimsy excuse about being a freelance photographer with the newspaper. It wasn’t a complete lie as he had done some freelance work with newspapers, but the lie about that particular photo didn’t fall naturally off his tongue. Afterward, he questioned the wisdom of having his film developed by some place where anyone could inspect them. After that, he avoided any kind of commercial printers for the film from the special camera— no matter how tempting. It could open a complex situation that he wasn’t prepared to explain.
The scent of the Chinese food disappeared into the smell of the chemicals as he developed the film. When the first images began to form, he forgot all about eggrolls and fried rice.
What the hell?
How had he managed to get photos of the World Trade Center? He squinted in the red light. No, those had to be some building along the river. He tried to think of any that might resemble the twin towers but came up blank.
As the images darkened, he reached with the tongs, his gut churning as he processed what he was seeing in the photos. He tried to make out details of the photos as they floated in their chemical bath, but the room was too dark. He fought the urge to rush. Whatever these photos showed, it was big. He could see that immediately, but rushing might ruin one of them and it looked like he would need every clue he could get to prevent the unthinkable that seemed to be materializing in his photo tray.
He lost track of time as he stood studying the photos when it occurred to him that it was safe to turn on the lights. Already, he felt a restless energy, a need to do something about these pictures. He snapped the five that showed the horrific images off the line, ignoring the photos of the river and bridge.
He set them on the counter, pushing the bag of food aside as he laid the photos down side-by-side. After two years of acting on the precognitive images produced by the camera, he thought he was immune to any kind of emotional reaction. He had changed too many of the photos for them to even seem real anymore. After all, once he acted, they weren’t real. They were just images of what might have been. In his mind, they were shadows of the future like in the story A Christmas Carol. He shook his head. Not quite like that, but it was a close approximation. But this…this was incomprehensible.
At first glance, Mark had thought that all the images were of the same plane from different angles, but upon closer examination, he could make out the differing logos on the tails and one photo showed a ball of fire. He blinked and took out his loupe, making certain they were different planes. There was no doubt.
His mind whirled with possible ways of averting the disaster, but he couldn’t latch on to any one thought long enough to follow it through with a plan of action. Overwhelmed and realizing this was out of out of his league, he picked up the phone, but his finger froze over the number pad. Should he call the cops? Or the fire department? And tell them what? That planes would crash into the World Trade Center? Along with one in a field…somewhere? He wasn’t even sure what happened at the Pentagon, but the photo showed a huge fireball in one side of it. Since he had photos of four planes, and three of them were in the process of actually crashing, he guessed that the photo of the American Airlines jet might end up being the cause of the fireball.
His knuckles whitened around the phone. He couldn’t even warn anyone tonight. Not without any facts. Goddamn it! If he attempted to without any real information it would get him tossed into the psych ward right after they booked him for…well, he wasn’t sure what they could charge him with, but he was sure they could find something. Probably filing a false police report, only it wouldn’t be false by sometime tomorrow. Why couldn’t the photos have time stamps? Or show where the planes were from? Flight numbers would be too much to hope for, but while he was wishing for the impossible, he tossed that wish into the pot with the rest of them.
As he started to process the information, logic took hold. Something like this didn’t just occur accidentally. Mark admitted he was no expert, but didn’t jets have all kinds of safeguards to prevent pilot errors of that magnitude? His stomach coiled into a tight ball when the implications of what four different planes meant. This was no accident. One plane was an accident, two an unthinkable tragedy, but four? That was somebody’s plan.
Setting the phone back on its charger, he drummed his fingers on the countertop as his gaze shot from one image to another, una
ble to concentrate on just one. How could he stop this? The coil twisted into a knot of pain. What could he do? He slammed his fist on the counter, not caring when the blow caused the bag of food to fall over, spilling the contents onto the floor.
With his elbows resting in front of the photos and fingers rubbing circles on his temples, he took a deep breath. Okay, just settle down and think it through. It wasn’t like this was going to happen tonight. These were all daytime shots, so he had a little time. He raked a hand through his hair as he glanced at the clock. Had it only been an hour since his dinner had been delivered? There was no way he could eat now, but his biggest worry was how in the hell could he sleep? Sleep was imperative so he could dream, but he was so tense and keyed up, it would be elusive tonight.
He circled the breakfast bar and opened the fridge. Four beers. Too bad it wasn’t a case, or better yet, a bottle of Scotch, but it would have to do. He opened one and gulped it down while he picked up the cartons of food from the floor. Most of the fried rice had spilled out so he swept it up, but all the while, his mind raced with ideas of how to stop the horror depicted in the photos. He took a long draught of the beer, wiping his arm across his mouth afterward. His goal was to consume enough to relax him so that he could sleep, but a small part of his mind wished he had enough alcohol on hand to erase the photos from his memory. He finished off the beer and chucked the bottle into the trash.
Mark pulled out a second beer and flipped the cap off as he plopped onto the barstool. Why had the camera chosen to show him these photos? Did it really think he could do something about them? He tilted the bottle, already a little buzzed from the effects of drinking the first beer so quickly on a relatively empty stomach. The second eggroll was still warm so he ate it between sips just to put something in his stomach besides alcohol. The goal was to relax, not become wasted.
His common sense struggled to convince him that the camera was just a mechanical device. It didn’t think. It didn’t know that he was helpless to change some things. Maybe this act of violence wasn’t really meant for him to change. After all, how could he do it alone? The cold sweat of fear drenched him. If he failed, how many thousands would die? Both towers were billowing smoke in the photos. The Pentagon looked like a side of it had exploded and the other photo, with the plane heading into the field…he shuddered at the terror those passengers would know just before impact. Tomorrow was a Tuesday, so likely all three buildings would be full of employees at work. His hand shook and the bottle rattled as he set it down.