by Amy Brent
Structure was an important factor in her life, so much so that it always played a part in messing up every situation she found herself in. Everything had a place and level of priority, it was the only thing that kept her going strong. She leaned back in her chair, once more thinking about him. Tonight he would be home for dinner, though the circumstances were sad, it would be good to see him.
They had both grown and come so far it was hard to remember how it had all began so many years ago now. She had been lost and lonely, and he had been a strong force for her. Always there to lend an ear, or make all of her wrongs seem more manageable. She closed her eyes, remembering a very different time….
The moment Rafe left town Lacey knew she would miss him. She stood, brushing her long blonde locks, staring intently at the reflection of her face in the mirror. At 11 she was already a pretty girl, though her hurdles were there, still very much a part of her. She moved her hands down her hips, hating the way they felt, and stuck out. She wasn’t like the other girls at school, which was nothing new really.
Ever since her mother had scooped her up as a child and they had escaped the hell they were living in with her father, her life had been one change after another. Everything had been a struggle until her mother met, and married Ben Ramsey. He had been a good man, one that she looked up to and for the first time in her life she saw her mother smile, and be happy.
Part of her new world changed when she first came face to face with her step-brother Rafe. He was older by 6 years, and he was magnetic. Tall and dark, he was there to lend a hand, and to make her feel safe. There was an air of mystery about him, he would come and go as he pleased, always walking with the sort of swagger you would expect out of a rough house kind of guy. More than once she watched him walk out of the house, casually light a cigarette and hop on his motorcycle, to lead him somewhere.
Where he was going was always her focus. Who was he going to see and what was he doing during the night? At her young age, she would often daydream about riding with him, hopping on the back of his bike and letting the air flow freely through her long hair. She would escape with him in the night where everyone was understood and loved, despite their physical make up.
He never made her feel too big, though it was clearly an issue she was battling. Her weight was always an area of concern, though she did her best to make up for it in personality. Rafe was there, in spirit at least as she faced one new school year after another and dealt with the bullying. He had pushed her to keep going and now she was exactly where she wanted to be.
She blinked, once more pulling herself out of the daydream that she was living. That Lacey was gone, long gone. Life had been so hopeful then and now everything had changed, shifted somehow. Her home was full of strangers, and she was in her home office hiding from them all. She knew she needed to go back out there, if for any other reason than to comfort her mother. Ben had loved her for almost ten years, and he had been a good husband and father, despite the issues with Rafe.
She stood, tossing the pencil down on the desktop and walking over to the window to look out into the street below. She loved her townhome, and loved where she lived. Every detail of it was what she wanted, she knew it was the planner in her that had pulled off every aspect from the light fixtures to the final swipe of paint on the walls. She had worked hard to get here, and she had known very early on that she wanted a home… a good home that no one could take from her, or throw her out of.
When she won her first case she put the down payment on a home, and deep down she rested well knowing it was hers and no one else’s. Her mother had been staying there, it was too difficult for her to go home, and together they stayed up at night and laughed about old times… times before Ben had died bringing them all back together now.
If there had been any warning it may have made the blow a little easier, but as it were Ben went to work one morning and simply died in his office. A heart attack, at least that’s what they were listing it as. She had kissed him goodbye that morning, never thinking it would be the last time she saw him.
Getting the call from her mother about it had been the hardest day of her life. The level of emotion her mother expressed was almost overwhelming, and Lacey had carried some of the pain for her. At some point during the planning process, her mother had reached out to Rafe, and he said he would come… said he would be there. Some part of her hated the excitement she felt about seeing him, and the other part of her hated him for being like everyone else.
She took a step towards the door leading into the great room, and taking a deep breath, she walked back out into the mass of people who had come to pay their respects. She carefully calculated everything else that needed to be done, and found her mother in a corner, smiling at someone as she dabbed the wet tissue at the corner of her eyes. Lacey knew she never wanted to feel that way, to feel that kind of loss the way her mother was now. It was just easier to stay single, leaving all the pain to someone else.
It was then that she saw him.
Rafe
He waited, something he didn’t like to begin with. He leaned the bike to the side, silently taking another drag off of the lit cigarette in his hand. His father was dead, and he hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. He knew the responsibility was on him, and the choices he’d made when he left. He ground the cigarette out with the heel of his boot. It was the first one he’d had in two years and he wasn’t about to let the moment of weakness become another habit he would have to kick.
He took long strides over to the site of the funeral, the mass of people all facing the opposite direction which he was grateful for. He let his eyes flick over the crowd hoping to see his step mother and little Lacey. He could only imagine how hard all of this was on them. At this distance it was hard, but he found his step-mother quickly enough. She was lost and crying. Rafe felt the guilt creep in once more as he thought about his absence. Everything he had done had been to save face, and he couldn’t handle disappointing anyone else.
Standing with her was a woman, a blonde tall and even from where he stood it was obvious that she was beautiful. She hugged his step mother close and he heard the preacher say the final words necessary before they put his father to rest once and for all.
As he closed, Rafe watched people start to move around, making their way down the hill and away from the cemetery. He was far enough away that he went unnoticed and once everyone was gone, he made his way up the hill to say his goodbye’s. Sometime later, Rafe jumped on his bike, more determined now than ever to make things right and make sure he was there from now on.
He followed the address in the letter his stepmother had sent him. She was a good woman, and he knew this turn of events would be devastating for her to accept. He moved his bike down the long roads in town, only turning to ride up into the Northerton Hills. He frowned as he drove, knowing his bike would raise more than a few eyebrows when he pulled up to the front of the elegant townhouse. Why they were doing this here was beyond him. He wanted to go home, to the house he had been raised in. He jumped off his bike, take the long strides into the house to find the one woman who knew his father better than he did.
She was standing by the kitchen door, her face was sad, but she was doing her best to keep it together. She saw him and her smile seemed to be genuine as she held her arms out to him. He had been 18 when he left home, but for the years that he had been there, she had been good to him. His father had done the best job he knew how to do, but when he met and married Alice, his world had shifted and changed. Suddenly there was the person who made sure he ate dinner every night and made sure he took a bath regularly.
He hugged her close, reminded of her perfume and the old days when things had been simpler. He moved back and she smiled up at him.
“Rafe, I’m glad you’re here. He would have been happy for that.”
“I’m not sure about that, but I am glad out think so Alice.” He ran a hand through his lanky black hair and his blue eyes glanced around the room as they sp
oke.
“Well, I know he missed you Rafe, he told me so. But I understand why you did what you did.”
“I hope one day I can understand it. I am sorry I wasn’t here Alice.”
“No one could have known Rafe, it’s not your fault.” She patted his arm.
“Why are you doing this here, I this stuffy townhouse Alice, not at home?”
She sighed, “I couldn’t go home, not yet anyway. I just wasn’t ready.” She blinked, frowning slightly as she looked past him. “As for the townhouse…” She trailed off.
“It’s my stuffy townhouse Rafe, sorry if you're uncomfortable.” A voice behind him rang out.
He spun around to smile at the imp who had driven him crazy for years with her rambling about boys and bully’s. He felt the look she gave him like a punch to the stomach. Lacey was gone… and had been gone for years apparently. In her place was a striking young woman. Her blonde hair fell in soft layers down her shoulders, and the green of her eyes was almost piercing.
“Lacey? Oh my God Lacey is that you?” He squinted his eyes doing his best to not seem shocked by her appearance.
“Yes, Rafe, I’m Lacey.” She crossed her arms over her chest, which was doing its best to break free from the shirt containing them.
He felt something stir in him deep down and immediately hated himself for it. She has his step-sister not some bar chick he was picking up for a night of fun. He sobered as he realized she had heard his comments on her home.
“I didn’t mean...”
“Yes, you did. It's ok, we don’t like the same things, never have.” Except that shirt you're wearing. He tried to stop the thought from creeping in but it rushed to the forefront of his mind far quicker than he intended.
“If you two will excuse me, I have to go; some people are leaving.” Alice leaned up to kiss Rafe on the cheek before she turned to go, leaving him two of them staring at each other.
“I should go too, if you need anything Rafe, I’m sure you will figure it out.” She spun around to leave, giving him a focused view of her ample derriere. He shook his head to clear the thought, before he followed her.
“What the hell is your problem Lacey, why the cold shoulder?” He was there beside her, waiting for a response, but she simply smiled up at him, though the smile didn’t reach her eyes.
“I’m not being a very good hostess; I apologize Rafe. Is there something you need?” She blinked at him and he let his gaze linger just a second too long on the fullness of her bottom lip as it protruded just slightly.
“I’m good right now, I just thought we would talk a while.”
“Fine you want to talk meet me at the house later, I have to go get some things for mom.”
He had no chance to respond as she walked away, putting the ball in his court. As he worked his way through the room, he was reminded of the actions in a small town like this. There were no store owner or churchgoer unaccounted for crammed into the tight walls of the townhouse, making him think of Lacey once more. She had obviously done well for herself, though she never communicated that to him. Now that he thought about it, it had been a long time since they had written anything at all. He had to wonder what had changed for her so much since then. Not to mention Lacey was no longer a kid sister, she was in fact a full grown woman and a beautiful one at that.
How did life go by so fast? What exactly had he missed, really? He knew the only way to find out was to stay and have a real conversation with her. He made his way outside to take the drive to his old home, and wait for her to show up.
Lacey
Why did he have to be so attractive… so damn good looking? She wanted to hate him, to be angry but when he stood in front of her all she wanted was to kiss him, expressing her love for him that had been buried since she was a child. She knew better than to even consider it, after all he was her step-brother and if that weren’t enough reason she knew better than to think a tall and gorgeous man like Rafe would have any kind of feeling about her at all.
She glanced around the room, noting her mother was still chatting happily with a few ladies from church. She knew she would be fine for a few hours while she went to the house to pick up some things… and talk to Rafe.
Slipping into her car she found herself putting the top down, enjoying the feel of the heat on her face on such a sad day. It was the trip that made her relax, the air blowing on her face and the idea that her life was finally on track, and she was exactly where she wanted to be. She felt her heart lurch as she pulled up to the house and saw his bike parked there. There was something intensely sweet in how he had pulled right back into the same spot he used to park so many years ago. In some ways it was as if he had never even left, and had never left her.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the front door, moving inside to find him sitting on the couch, sorting through hundreds of pictures on the table in front of him. He glanced up at her and then back down to them
“I’ve missed a lot I guess?” He held up a picture of her in her prom dress, causing her to roll her eyes and snatch it out of his hand.
“Well, that was your choice wasn’t it Rafe?” She left walking into the kitchen to sort through the fridge to find something to drink. She settled for a bottle of water and she felt him come in the room behind her.
“Ok, so I get it your pissed Lacey, you’ve made that abundantly clear. What the hell are you so mad about?”
“I’m not mad Rafe, not now. IN fact, I just feel sorry for you now, for missing out on everything your father was.”
He sighed loudly, “I had a situation Lacey, something you wouldn’t understand. You think I don’t feel it, but I do. But even that is between me and dad, what does that have to do with you?”
She wanted to scream at him, tell him how he had deserted her leaving her alone when she needed him most. She felt the words form in her throat, but she couldn’t let them out. Instead, she moved the conversation on.
“You can have some of those, the pictures I mean. We made copies of everything.”
He glanced down at the pile, and then back up at her. “Thanks, I will.”
She left the room then, wanting to be anywhere but there, with him and his intense look as he watched her move around the room. She went into her old room, almost laughing at the way it had all stood still, the same pictures and stuffed animal strewn about in various groups, somehow sorted since that was how she did things.
“Stop running from me Lacey and talk to me, no more BS.”
She turned to face him, a frown on her face. “You just disappeared Rafe, just one day here one day gone. Like it was nothing… like I was nothing.” She felt the tears well up, threatening to spill but she held them at bay.
He frowned, his brow furrowed. “I’m sorry Lacey, I didn’t know it was that big a deal. I got caught up in life and I thought you were too. You were a teenager, I assumed you had far better things to do than write me emails all the time.”
“Yeah, well you were wrong.” She glared at him, her eyes blazing and she saw him look at her differently. Something shifted in his gaze as he took a step towards her.
“I’m sorry Lacey.”
He was close… too close and she felt her heart beating faster than it had before. She heard him curse under his breath before she felt the heat from him as his mouth captured hers in a deep and searing kiss.
She was consumed in heat, his kiss branded her in a way she had never felt. He moved then, pushing her backwards until she felt the cold wood behind her head, pressing her to the wall, holding her there as the kiss went on and on deeper than ever. She knew she had lost control of herself as she kissed him back, his mouth, creating a stir in her deep down.
His hands were everywhere at once and she felt his hands in her hair, pulling her head closer to his as he kissed her, pressing the length of him against her. She was alive for the first time in a long time, her body was reacting to him on its own. She had lost control the moment she saw him at the townhouse.
She moved her head, pulling away from him once and for all, leaning forward until she felt her head touching his.
“We can’t do this.” She gulped hard as his hand moved then, running a trail up her hips, cupping them in his hands.
“Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop.” He was breathing hard, the planes of his chiseled face were tight as he waited for her response.
“I can’t tell you that, Rafe.” She whispered it.
“I didn’t think so.” He kissed her once more his mouth trailing hot kisses down her chin and into the hollow of her neck.
Lost now she put her hands in his hair, pulling his mouth closer to her skin. His hands moved to once more pull on her clothes until he freed her of the silk shirt she was wearing. He moaned outwardly as he cupped her massive breasts in his hands, moving her bra up just enough to release the hardened nipples free under the bottom of the underwire. His mouth found the first one, tugging and sucking on it hard, grabbing and caressing the other one in his hand. As his mouth worked its magic on her the other hand pinched the fat nipple between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it until it stood out even more, begging him to feast from it.
She moaned, the feel of his hot mouth almost too much to take. He slipped his tongue out, flicking over the hardened nub wildly and she looked down at him, their eyes meeting. She watched as he quickly sucked the dark pink flesh into his waiting mouth. She shuddered at the onslaught, watching him pushing her even more over the edge.