by Jillian Hart
“You never have anything under control. You like Brice so much, you’re afraid of it.”
“Not that I’ll admit.”
“Ha! See? You’re in the denial stage. Remember? Katherine was there after she met Jack, and she wouldn’t admit it either, but she was.”
“Denial is a very effective coping method. Except for the fact that I’m totally not in denial. I have a policy, remember? I’m dedicating my life to making the world a sweeter place. I’m on a mission. I will not be distracted by anything.”
Even she could hear how those words were hollow—they were no longer the whole truth. No matter how hard she willed them to be, they fell short of what she now knew to be honest.
How had that happened? It was like sand shifting beneath the rock of her foundation and now she had to readjust everything.
Aubrey was only being caring, kind and gentle in that way of hers; and she was always right. Ava knew it, but she wasn’t ready to admit this to herself. Because as long as she was in denial, then she wouldn’t have to make a decision. She wouldn’t have to acknowledge that caring about Brice was no longer her choice. Her heart was just doing it.
“Ava, do you know how great this guy is? He’s wonderful. He really cares about you. He invited me to come along tonight, and none of the other guys you’ve dated ever welcomed me and included me the way Brice has. The way he looks at you and the way he talks to you, it says one thing. He likes you. He didn’t care that you drained half his pool of water with all your cannonballs.”
“Hey, you helped with that.”
“Yes, but I don’t make as big of a splash. I lack your finesse and skill.”
“True.”
They smiled together.
“And what about the beautiful woodwork he’s doing for you? Ava, he’s working over the weekend. I don’t think he has to work overtime to keep his personal budget in the black.”
“Probably not.” Did she tell Aubrey that Brice had wanted to give her this dream? And that was really starting to affect her?
“Ava, he had worked up two different scrollwork patterns for you to choose from. That’s a big deal.”
“Not if I don’t think about it.”
They had reached the outskirts of town, and the traffic was light. She concentrated on driving, which was a lot easier than concentrating on how Brice had brought her two two-foot lengths of wood, carefully detailed, from his home workshop. One had rosebuds and leaves, and the other had cabbage roses. He’d made no big deal about it, but she knew it was more. That was scaring her, too.
Aubrey hit her second wind when they turned into their apartment complex. “Okay, I have one more thing to say, and then I’m done. You’ve finally found a good guy. A man of substance who sees how special you are. He’s not like the others.”
“You mean, after I get to know him I won’t see that he’s not right for me, before my heart is broken?”
“At least you see the pattern.”
“It isn’t just me. We’ve all had such a hard time getting attached, I mean, Katherine’s in her thirties and she’s finally getting married. Spence? Well, look at him, he drives every nice woman away before she can say ‘hi.’ Do you think it’s because Mom left us like that? We already know love ends.”
“Some love ends. Mom wasn’t happy. Don’t you remember?”
Remember? Painfully. You make a mess of everything. You ruin everything. I can’t take it anymore. Her mother’s last words to her. Haunting her after all these years.
Ava maneuvered into their reserved covered spot and cut the engine. She even remembered to take the keys out of the ignition.
Aubrey didn’t move to unbuckle her seat belt. “Not all love ends. Look at Dad. He stayed. He never left. He loved us enough to stick it out, even when things were devastating for him. After Mom left, he was so lost and overwhelmed with responsibility. Remember?”
It had been a tough time for all of them. Dad trying to hold it together, lost doing housework and cooking. His sadness was suffocating and Ava had felt the responsibility for their mom’s leaving. Although what Aubrey said was true. Dad had stayed. He’d never let them down.
It hurt too much to dwell on that, too. She climbed outside into the stifling heat, the chlorine scent of the water from Brice’s pool clung to her skin and clothes, reminding her. Of him. Of what her heart wanted. That Aubrey was right.
That still didn’t mean it was the smartest thing to disregard common sense and believe in one man—to put all her heart and soul, and all the love she had, on the line. For some reason she felt that seven-year-old girl inside her, feeling small and alone and wishing she could be different, so that everything could be different.
The sun was setting through bright magenta and orange clouds, casting a mauve light that glowed on the ordinary asphalt shingle rooftops and changed them to shining satin. Rose-pink glinted along the white siding of the two-storey buildings and reflected in windows.
The light cast over her too, and she felt hope lift though her like grace.
Chapter Ten
The bookstore’s after-hours’ quiet made her little sigh sound like a hundred-mile-per-hour gust of wind, which wasn’t her intention. Now everyone was going to stop their inventory work and come hunt her down and ask, “What’s wrong, Ava?”
She could hear the question already—mostly because it’s what they always asked. She was the kind of girl who had one kind of problem after another, and her family was slightly enmeshed in her affairs.
She crept forward a few inches on her rug-burned knees, ignoring the rough rasp from the industrial carpet. Did she remember her knee pads? No. She’d forgotten for the past four nights in a row straight. She’d been on the run, from sun up and well into the dark of night, working, trying to figure out the malicious concept of bookkeeping—to no avail—and baking. Running errands. Picking up as many hours here at the bookstore as she could, which was why she was helping with inventory. She hated inventory, but the sad truth was, she needed the money. Big time.
She may have borrowed a chunk from Gran, but she’d only borrowed what was absolutely necessary for start-up, not for her wages or anything else. A shoestring start-up, that’s what Gran called it and while she’d offered more of a loan, Ava had refused. She’d appreciate the funds, but she wasn’t out to take advantage of her grandmother, whom she loved very much. So, she was on a shoestring. She would just work harder to make ends meet, that’s all.
The problem was, she wasn’t as efficient as she could have been, and why? Who was to blame?
Brice Donovan. Thoughts of him were distracting her in a big way. Not that she’d seen him since they’d had dinner at his house. She’d run out of any hopes of actually seeing him. For four straight workdays she’d been by the bakery early every morning to drop off goodies. And every evening, except for today, she’d checked the work after the construction dudes had left. She’d been excited by the renovation’s progress, but there’d been no sight of Brice. Sure, he’d left messages on her cell. And she’d left messages on his. But did they actually speak? No.
She’d even received a chocolate cake order from Brice’s secretary for delivery to the office on Friday afternoon. Why hadn’t he called with that? Or at least left a message? He’d given her the full court press with his charm and his cooking and now when she was considering softening her policy, was he available to hear it? No-oo.
Ava halted in mid-row and stared helplessly at the titles on the shelf and the clipboard on the floor beside her. Oops. Now she’d lost her place on the shelf, again. She stared down at the print out, and it started to blur. Probably because she’d been up since 4:45 a.m. that morning. It was now nearly nine—at night. She was totally beat.
“Ava?” Katherine rounded the corner of the history section, concern on her face. “What’s wrong? You look exhausted. Why don’t you take a break?”
Spence’s voice sounded muffled coming from the other side of the row. “It’s not time for her break.
And she came in late. Again.”
Katherine planted her hands on her slender hips and shook her head. She looked calm and classic, as always, even casually dressed for their late night work session in a simple butter-yellow knit top and black boot-cut jeans.
How did Katherine do it? She carried as much of the responsibility of the bookstore as Spence did, but with such serene, easy grace. No sharp words of frustration, ever. She looked gorgeous and totally put together and never missed her Bible study groups, had started a weekly woman’s reading group program and found time to date, fall in love with Jack, get engaged and teach the teenager to drive.
“I don’t need a break,” Ava confessed, feeling so totally like a frumpy failure right then. She knew her hair was falling out of the comb holder thingy for the billionth time. Aubrey had talked her into wearing it this morning. She stood up to stretch and noticed that her linen blouse had wrinkled so much, it looked as if she’d been sleeping in it. “I need junk food.”
“Pizza?” asked the teenager—more commonly known as Hayden, Jack’s kid. “Or how about French fries?”
“Nachos,” Aubrey hollered from four stacks over. “With the works.”
“No food near the books!” Spence sounded particularly annoyed. “And no breaks. I want this done before midnight.”
Before midnight. Ava didn’t want to think about how little sleep that meant she was going to get. But the good news was that she’d be able to make her next month’s car payment.
“You look like a mess.” Aubrey appeared and went straight to the comb clip thingy. “You didn’t put this in right.”
“I don’t know how to put it in right.” Ava rolled her eyes. “I’m so glad this is the last night we have to do this. Tomorrow night, I’m going to crash in front of the TV. The only time I plan on moving will be to answer the door for the pizza delivery guy. You too, Aubrey?”
“No. I have plans, I know you forgot. I’m going to that singles church function in the valley.” Aubrey ran her fingers through Ava’s hair and gathered it up in a neat coil. “And you were going to babysit for Danielle, so she can go on a date with her husband? Remember?” Even the thought of those fried tater tots made her feel perky.
“I’m too exhausted and hungry to remember anything. I think mexifries will help.”
“There there’s only one solution. We need junk food if we’re going to last until midnight.” Aubrey repositioned the Venus-flytrap-looking comb. “Spence, we’re going to take another break.”
“No breaks.” He sounded angry, and there was a thud, like a few books tumbling from a shelf. He made an even angrier sound.
Aubrey took a step back to consider the comb’s positioning. “He’s extra crabby tonight.”
“You distract him, and I’ll slip out the back. Maybe he won’t notice I’m gone.”
“I’ll notice,” Spence barked, closer than they thought.
“Go.” Katherine took Ava’s clipboard. “I’ll finish for you. Hayden, what do you want to order?”
“Uh…” The teenager poked her head around the corner. “I dunno.”
“Hey, you come with me,” Ava decided. “I’ll need help carrying all that food. Katherine, I’m going to need money.”
“I knew you were going to say that. Help yourself to a couple of twenties from my purse. Our late-night snack will be my treat.”
Super-duper. It might not be the answer to her frustration about Brice, but there was nothing like a fast-food fix, right? If you order enough fried food, you could forget a lot of problems. Distraction, that was the key to coping.
After finding cash in Katherine’s purse, she grabbed her own. The first thing she checked was her cell, already knowing what she’d see. One missed call. A voice mail message.
She hit the button and waited to connect as she went in search of her keys.
“Are these them?” Hayden asked standing in front of the open refrigerator. There they were, on the shelf next to the soda cans.
“Hey, you’re pretty useful for a teenager,” Ava winked at the girl while she listened to her one message.
Brice’s deep baritone was a welcome sound. “Tag, you’re it. Try me back when you’re off work at the bookstore. I’ll be up late.”
Okay, at least there was hope. She dialed his number, pushed open the back door and held it for the teenager. Hayden bopped through with coltish energy and waited while Ava made sure the door locked after them. She didn’t want the backdoor burglar to try to rob the place. Poor Spence had enough pressure without that.
She got Brice’s voice mail. Big surprise. “It’s your turn to call me,” she said and turned her ringer to the loudest setting. For added measure, so the phone didn’t get muffled by all the junk in her bag, she slipped it into an outside pocket. There. She was all set. “Kid, do you still have my keys?”
“Yep. I was kinda hopin’ that you’d let me drive. You know, cuz I gotta practice so I can ace my driver’s test.”
“Deal.” She opened the passenger’s side door and hopped onto the seat. She was pretty exhausted and look, she had a chauffeur. Cool. “When Katherine marries your dad, I won’t mind too much that you’re my new niece. I mean, I could probably endure it.”
“Like I guess I could, too.” Hayden looked happy as she took control behind the wheel. “So, what taco place is it? And how do I get there?”
“You have much to learn. Lucky for you, you have me to teach you. We always go to Mr. Paco’s Tacos. They have the best nachos and mexifries. If you turn left out of the driveway, we can go past my shop on the way there. I want to see how the final coat of paint looks.”
“You’ll hire me when you open up, right?”
“Are you kidding? I thought you were going to work for free. I could pay you, I guess.” Ava winked.
Hayden’s smile was pure happiness. “You gotta teach me how to make monster muffins.”
“In good time. Just drive, kid.” Ava pulled out her phone just to check it.
No call. She knew that because she would have heard it ringing, but she had to check. Thinking of Brice at least made her feel a little closer to him when he felt so far away. Not that she wanted to admit it, but she missed him.
Big time.
In the quiet of Ava’s shop, Brice swiped the sweat from his forehead and uncapped a bottle of water. He downed half of it in one swig. He was hot, tired and hungry. But he didn’t want to break until he’d installed the last of the ceiling moldings. He’d have to bust his hump tomorrow, put in a long day, to get this finished before the cleaning crew pulled up tomorrow—Friday—afternoon.
The week had gone by in a blur, too fast, and without Ava. He’d heard about the morning baked goods that she’d provided faithfully every morning. He’d heard about the free certificates she’d handed out to all the workers this morning along with the colorfully decorated little coffee cakes. He’d been busy in his shop, finishing the last of the intricate scrollwork.
He missed her. He knew she was working late shifts at the bookstore—she’d left a message on his voice mail telling him about it. They had been playing phone tag all week. The lack of contact frustrated him, but he had to get this right for her. It was her dream, which was important to him. Important for her.
The soft yellow walls had warmed like sunshine during the day and now, with the honey glow of the varnished woodwork, the place was better than any picture. He couldn’t wait for her to see it, but he wanted everything done first. He wanted it perfect for her.
Which meant only one thing. Time to get back to work. He recapped the bottle, set it on the sawhorse next to his cell and noticed a green light was flashing. A missed call.
No. He’d missed her again. He’d either been hammering or running the saw—he hadn’t heard it ring. He snatched it up, ready to hit the speed dial, but before he could, he glanced up and there she was. She stood on the passenger side of her SUV, closing the door, looking through the windows directly at him. There was surprise on her face and
disbelief in her eyes as she remained frozen in place.
He crossed to the door in three strides and threw the bolt. The night air was balmy as he moved toward her.
“Oh, I can’t believe this. Brice, this is wonderful. What are you doing here, working so late?”
His heart rolled over. She looked so dreamy, so precious. It was hard to believe that she was real and that he hadn’t imagined her here.
“I didn’t expect you to show up here like this.” He studied her dear face. She looked tired, but happy. That’s why he’d worked long endless hours in his shop. He wanted her to be happy. With the woodwork. With the shop. With him. “It was supposed to be a surprise for you. I wanted it finished before you came by in the early morning.”
“But—” Her fingers caught tightly around his. “It’s nine-thirty at night and you’re still working. Were you going to work all night?”
“However long it takes.”
“But that’s so much work.”
“It’s my pleasure, Ava.”
“But—” Her lovely eyes shone, as if she understood, finally. “This is my dream. It’s like you could look right into my heart and know.”
“Amazing, don’t you think?”
Ava was starting to believe it. She could feel it in the marrow of her bones. Aubrey was right, okay, she was always right. What about the beautiful woodwork he’s doing for you? I don’t think he has to work overtime to keep his personal budget in the black.
This had to be so much work. This was such a big deal. This was more than business. More than friendship. This was everything that totally scared her.
“Want to go inside and see?” His hand was so strong as he guided her toward the door. He felt as invincible as titanium, like a man a woman could believe in.
She’d been fooled before, but those times faded like shadows to light. Looking at him—being with him—filled her with true hope. He awakened a part of her that had been never been wholly alive before—an optimistic part of her spirit. That positive force seemed to fill her senses, overwhelming all common sense, so that she couldn’t think of anything else but Brice, standing so tall and good.