He remembered how strong Momma G had been. The weight she’d carried, all those years, on her shoulders. What must it have been like for her, looking at her child, trying to speak reason, and seeing only the empty eyes of a blackout drunk who wouldn’t even remember what she’d said or done when she woke up in the morning? Eyes are supposed to be the windows to the soul, right? So what does it say when you look into someone’s eyes and see nothing, not a hint of compassion, nothing that can be appealed to, only that addict’s need for more?
And that someone is your child?
Momma G must have been a lion inside, to be that strong. Because in those harrowing days, she’d had to make a choice: her daughter or her grandson. What do they call it on the battlefield, when the medics wander from screaming body to screaming body, figuring out who might survive? Triage. That was the word.
Momma G, his beloved grandmother, had to triage her own family. And when she looked at her grandson, she saw something in him that made her say: Him. I choose him. He has a chance and I’m going to make sure he keeps that chance.
He caught himself spinning on the edge of all those memories. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. Held it, way down deep in his gut. He slowly released his breath.
Okay. Let go of it. It’s not now. It’s not happening now. Let go.
Standing, he paced around the small living room area. Sober for three months? Come back when you got three years on you. Then maybe I’ll believe you. Trust? Huh. Don’t push it. A few months is a hiccup, not a change. He couldn’t deal with this right now. It did all the wrong things to him, getting these memories stirred up.
Pulling on his running shoes and finding his hoodie, he grabbed the keys, intending to go for a run. Stepping out into the cold, dark evening, he paused. Maybe he should go to the gym, use the treadmill. Save the running in a hoodie for daylight. He shook his head in exasperation. This world just doesn’t stop, does it?
At the gym, he set a grueling pace. Running. Running from the ghosts. Trying to sweat the poison out of his body. His anger twisted and turned. Finally, he hit the stop button and lifted his feet off the belt and onto the sides. Head down, heart pounding, his ragged breathing loud in his ears, he realized he was angry at himself. He’d thought he’d put it all behind him. That phone call should have had no more emotional impact than a mosquito buzzing around his head. Instead, it had enraged him. Kindled all the pain and fury he thought he’d exorcised from his life. Just like a damned addict. Knows exactly the right time to pop up and mess everything up. Not this time.
CHAPTER THREE
“IT’S THE BABY! It’s the baby!”
Lily was jumping up and down, waving her hands in the air. Tiana grabbed her to keep her from rushing into the parking lot as the SUV pulled into a parking spot. “Ian’s not a baby, honey. He’s two years old.”
“But he’s not a big boy,” Lily said. “I’m six and I’m a big girl and he’s littler than me.” Her eyes were wide and sparkling. Tiana felt her own mouth spread into a smile. She gave her daughter a quick hug and booped her nose.
“True,” she said. “But he’s really a toddler.”
“Baby.”
Tiana grinned and waved as Mickie climbed out of the car. “Mickie!”
“Tee!”
They met at the sidewalk and embraced. “It is so good to see you,” Tiana said as she stepped back to look Mickie up and down. “Pale skin. Bags under the eyes. Permanent worried look on the face. Yep. You are a full-fledged nursing student!”
Mickie made a sound. Half laughter, half frustrated growl. “You are one hundred percent correct. Let me get little man out.”
They laughed and chattered all the way back to the apartment. Lily took Ian off to her room so she could read to him. She was very proud of her reading skills. Tiana settled down on the couch next to Mickie. She hadn’t yet made many female friends here, so it was good to have a friendly face, even if only for a few hours.
“How’s it going?” They both asked at the same time. Then laughed.
“How’s school going?”
“Good. It’s stressful, like you said. But I’m running fast as I can to stay ahead of it. And I was able to land a patient care tech job on the mother-baby unit. Not where I want to be, but I’ve got a job reference now and I’m in the hospital system. How are you?”
“Feels like the first few months of nursing school all over again. But with patients and blood. I’m just now starting to feel like I’ve got a handle on it.”
“But do you love it? Is the emergency department still where you want to be?”
“Yeah. The chaos of it all can make me wonder if I’ve lost my mind, but it’s exciting. I’m never bored. It’s always a challenge.”
“Good. I’m trying to really make myself take a good look at each of the specialties as we rotate through. I don’t want to be so focused on being a labor nurse that I miss an interest somewhere else.”
Tiana nodded, remembering how it had been, being there, doing that, and not all that long ago. She looked up at Mickie and smiled. “That’s my girl,” she said.
They both started speaking at once—eager to share their stories, compare notes, when the front door opened and Vivian walked in carrying what seemed like her own weight in grocery bags.
“Mom!” Tiana scolded, getting up. “You should have called. I would have helped you carry those up.”
Viv laughed. “No, girl. I’m the gold medal winner of carrying all the groceries inside in one trip.” She set the bags down and motioned at Mickie. “Come here, sweet girl, how are you doing?”
“Perfect, thanks to your daughter. She got me completely ready for nursing school.”
“Where’s that little boy of yours?”
“In the bedroom with Lily,” Tiana said. She side-eyed Mickie. “Here’s where she completely forgets we’re in the house because she has babies to play with.”
“Well, that leads me to my rude question,” Mickie said. “Would it be okay if Ian hangs out here for a while?”
“Of course,” Vivian said automatically. “Long as you need.”
“Thank you. I know it’s short notice, but this thing with my boyfriend, Josh, this afternoon. I didn’t know he’d be like this. Now that the time is near, he’s devastated. He needs my full support for this.”
“What’s going on?” Tiana asked.
Mickie glanced down the hallway, listening to Lily’s lilting voice as she read aloud to Ian. “He’s moving his mother’s body to another cemetery,” she said in a lowered voice.
Vivian put a hand over her heart and turned a worried look at Mickie. “What’s up with this?”
Mickie sighed. “His father abused his mother. When she tried to leave, he killed her and himself. Josh found out they were buried side by side and he wanted his mother moved away.”
“Oh, honey,” Viv said, pulling Mickie into her arms. “I’ll be praying for you through this.”
Tiana wrapped her arms around Mickie also. “We’re here for you. All of you.”
“Thank you,” Mickie said, stepping back and wiping her face. “But there’s more.”
“More than that?” Tiana asked.
“A good more. Josh got a call from DeShawn. He’s working on putting together a project for a teacher he knows. He’s looking for people from disadvantaged backgrounds who’ve gone on to college and successful careers. He wants to put together a program for his students. I thought it sounded like something you’d be interested in doing.”
Tiana narrowed her eyes. “DeShawn?”
“Yeah, you remember him, right? From last summer?”
Tiana got up off the couch and went to the kitchen. Dumping fresh ice into her water bottle, she shook her head and let out a breath. “Did he tell Josh that he saw me at the grocery store the
other day?”
Mickie stood. She walked over, closer to Tiana, and leaned against the kitchen countertop. “No,” she said. “Not that I’m aware of.”
“Hmph,” Tiana snorted. The damn man would say anything. “Tell him I’m not interested.”
“Really?” Mickie said. Her eyebrows went up and she pursed her lips, just slightly. Then her face relaxed. “I thought you would have liked that. You’re such a natural teacher.”
“It’s not the project. It’s the man. Is he really doing this or is it a scam to get my phone number?”
“I doubt it. DeShawn’s a good guy.”
Tiana nodded and her eyes narrowed.
“I’m sure he is, but I don’t have time for games.”
Mickie frowned and pushed away from the counter. “What should I tell him then?”
Tiana sighed, sucking in one corner of her lips and dropping her chin. She shook her head side to side once, then again. She picked a piece of lint off of her sleeve, examined it and then walked over to drop it in the trash can. “Give me his number,” she said. “And tell him I’ll think about it.”
Mickie slipped her phone out, then swiped and scrolled a few times. Her brow knit and she bit her bottom lip. “Come on, come on, where are you?” She swept her finger across the screen. “Ah, okay. Here we go.” She grabbed the closest pencil and scribbled a number on the top of the calendar hanging on the wall. “Ugh,” she said, obviously noticing all Lily’s school projects, tests and meet-the-teacher nights listed. First graders had so much to do. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to manage this when Ian gets to school.” She tapped the calendar with the pencil eraser and turned to look at Tiana.
“It doesn’t stop,” Tiana said. She was smiling now. “I’m not going to kid you.”
“Yikes,” Mickie said, glancing at the time. “I need to get going. Let me say goodbye to Ian.” She pulled Tiana in for a hug. “Thank you again for helping me out.”
“You just be there for your man.”
* * *
FEBRUARY GAVE THEM the gift of one of those rare cold days with sunshine and blue skies. The occasional icy breeze was the only reminder it was deep winter. DeShawn sat on one of the black folding chairs set out around a bright green awning over an open grave. Josh sat unmoving like a stone. Mickie leaned against Josh, holding his hand tight in hers. Kim, Josh’s sister, was on his other side, holding his hand also. Beside her were her adoptive parents.
He’d been to funerals. Many. Too many. But this was...a reinternment. What an odd word. What an odd thing for a beautiful Saturday afternoon. A word for repeating what should only ever have to be done once for someone. He glanced to his left at Sadie. Wyatt, her fiancé, had her left hand clasped in both of his. Her lips were pressed tightly together, moving her gaze from Josh, she reached out and took his hand. He squeezed her fingers and leaned in close to her.
“Is he okay?” he whispered.
Sadie didn’t answer, but gave a shrug while shaking her head, just barely. DeShawn turned his attention back to the chaplain, who was giving the standard funeral oratory. At the end, Josh stood and approached the coffin. He set a bouquet of red roses on the gleaming wood.
“Be at peace, Momma,” he said, his voice wavering. He patted the coffin. “You’re safe now.” He stepped back.
Mickie and Sadie simultaneously began crying. DeShawn felt his own throat close up tight. He wanted to put his arm around Sadie, but Wyatt already had her. He clasped his hands together on his lap and looked down at the ground.
“It’s okay.”
He looked back up at the sound of Josh’s words. Josh sat back in his chair and pulled Mickie into his arms. “It’s okay,” Josh repeated.
DeShawn reached out and put a hand on Josh’s shoulder. As did Sadie. For a moment, he felt the strength and fierce love that joined them. Sadie. Josh. They’d been his family for so long. And now look at them. Starting their own families. He looked back down. Thought about the phone call from his mother. He shook his head. There’s nothing to salvage from my family.
Josh and Kim had requested to be alone as the coffin was lowered into the ground. DeShawn leaned against his car, watching from a distance. Most the guests had left. Mickie, Sadie, Wyatt, Lena and Kim’s parents remained. They didn’t speak. He went to Mickie and pulled her into a hug.
“You’re looking mighty cold, my Mickie.”
She wrapped her arms around him and pressed a cheek to his chest. “I’m from Minnesota. This is shorts and flip-flop weather. I’m glad you were able to be here.”
“It’s crazy. Is Josh okay? I can’t wrap my mind around this.”
“I think so. She was buried next to her murderer. You know? I can’t even... The anger. He was using it, I guess. It kept the grief down. It caught up with him, though. This morning.” She stepped back and glanced over her shoulder at the grave site. When she turned back, the troubled look on her face deepened just a bit.
“What?” he said.
“I asked Tiana about the project.”
“Great! What’d she say?”
“No.”
DeShawn was taken aback for a moment. Despite all the teasing between them, he thought she’d definitely be interested in his idea. Then he noted the look in Mickie’s eyes. That I’m-waiting-for-an-explanation look. “What?”
“Are you scamming for her phone number?”
“What? No! Is that what she thought?”
Mickie glanced over her shoulder again. “What happened at the grocery store?”
Shaking his head, he lifted his hands, palms up. “Nothing. Never mind. Don’t need her.”
Mickie pushed his hands aside. “Actually, it wasn’t a hard no. She said she’d think about it.”
He tilted his head, scrunched up his chin then looked off to the right.
“Here they come,” he said.
Josh and Kim walked back to the small group. Kim went straight into her parents’ arms. Josh held his hand out to DeShawn for a high-five, but DeShawn pulled him in close and held him there instead.
“You okay, brother?” DeShawn asked.
“Yeah,” Josh said. “I am. Feels good to have it done. I feel as if I’ve... I don’t know how to say it.”
DeShawn put his hands on Josh’s shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “You freed her, Josh. She died because she was trying to save you and Kim. She’s free of him now.”
Josh nodded and looked away as he swallowed hard. “You coming to Sadie’s?”
“Yeah, man. I’ll be there.”
“Okay. We’re going to pick up Ian. See you there.”
CHAPTER FOUR
DESHAWN LOUNGED BACK in a chair around the table in the conference room of the Cleaning Crew offices. He’d spent four years of his life working here. He closed his eyes and tried to put himself back in the head of the young man he’d been when he first walked in here, all those years ago. He couldn’t do it. He didn’t fit there anymore.
What those years had been, for him, was work, hard work. He’d caught a little side-eye, at first, from those who couldn’t see a man in that role. Cleaning houses? But he figured out was that there was a world of difference between just doing the job and doing the job right. You did the job if it was a good day or a bad one. If you were sore or under the weather, you pushed that to the other side of your head and kept going. You learned to see more, to notice, to take pride in that wow in the client’s eyes. Yeah. And the friends he’d made here. The family he’d made.
He felt at home. There was no other way to say it, was there? He smiled. He liked that, a lot. At home.
Sadie came in and sat beside him. He smiled at the sight of her huge cup of coffee, steam still rising. Getting between Sadie and her coffee could drop a guy into seriously dire straits.
“I
miss seeing you sitting here,” she said.
“It feels strange to be here. Like seeing your bedroom from when you were a kid. It’s perfectly the same, but somehow looks and feels completely different.”
“How are you doing, DeShawn? I know you’re going to say fine, but losing out on your Army commission was a huge blow. Are you really okay?”
“I am,” he said. He slouched back in his chair, looked up and then back at her. “I know I had a vision of myself traveling the world, building things, experiencing life. It was a hard decision to make, but I’m okay. On a different path is all.”
“You can still travel.”
“I know. Stop. Recalibrate. Make a new plan. I’m good. Actually beginning to feel a Divine hand in it. I feel like I’ve come home. Like this is where I belong.”
“Good. We’re your family. You should be with us.”
“My mother called me.”
And, hell. He hadn’t meant to say that. The words just fell out of his mouth without permission. The small part of him that wasn’t stunned into silence by the unexpected announcement was amused by Sadie’s transformation. She went from relaxed and happy to momma grizzly standing over a cub.
“And?” Just one word, but a word crackling and sparking with little pops of not-so-slight hint of am-I-going-to-have-to-kill-someone around the edges.
“And I don’t know. It was completely unexpected. I don’t even know how she got my number.”
“What did she want?”
Tipping the chair back against the wall, he laced his fingers behind his head. “To tell me she’d been clean and sober for three months. Wanted to talk to me.” He shook his head, still not wanting to believe it ever happened.
The Littlest Boss Page 3