She smiled and nodded but tears rose in her eyes. Pressing her lips together, she turned her head away. It wasn’t that he’d reminded her of that horrifying moment when she rounded the curtain in the bay and saw that Hello Kitty shoe, it was that his words were tender and caring.
“Hey? What’s this?”
His hand touched her cheek and she looked back at him. A blink sent twin tears down her cheeks. “It’s not what you think,” she blurted out, embarrassed by her loss of control.
“What is it then?”
She wiped at her face. “I’m tired. It wasn’t a good day. And thank you for being so nice.”
His hand moved to cup her chin and he tilted her face up to look her directly in her eyes. “You’re welcome.”
His eyes were amazing. Light brown, almost amber, and those flecks of hazel and she had to stop staring into them but she couldn’t. Hypnotizing. That’s the word.
His hand moved. Their breath clouded in the frigid air but she didn’t feel cold. He’s going to kiss me. Before the thought fully formed in her brain, his lips pressed lightly against hers. Then all rationality ceased as her body reacted to that barest of kisses. A sound left her throat and she clenched his jacket in her hands.
Then he was there. All there. Arms around her. Pressing her back against her car. His mouth on hers. Open. Their tongues colliding. The contrast of the icy-cold metal of her car on her back and his fiery heat pressing against her front was deliciously torturous. And then he stepped back, his breath pluming quickly, one hand to his mouth.
She stepped away from the car, dizzy with the sudden absence of his touch and the intensity of feelings the kiss had stirred. It’d been a long time since a man had made her feel this way.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a very long time,” he said.
She nodded. “I know. We’ve got this thing.” Making a vague back and forth motion between them, she scrambled to find a working brain cell.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to make things weird, Tiana. I should have asked first.”
“Don’t be sorry. It was a great kiss. I just... I’m not in, uh, a place right now.”
“I get it.”
She looked him in the eye. He shrugged and grinned.
“It’s just...”
He caught her hand. “Tiana. It’s okay. I understand. You’ve got a lot going on in your life.”
“It’s not that I don’t want...”
Damn. What is coming out of your mouth, woman? She felt her cheeks go hot as his eyebrows raised. Because her hormones were screaming, Yes, please. Let’s have hot sweaty sex with this gorgeous chunk of man. And he looked like he was reading her mind. She clapped her mouth shut.
“Be safe driving home,” he said. “I’ll see you Sunday.”
“Okay,” she breathed out in relief and scrambled into the safety of her car. Buckling up, she cranked the engine and banged her head off the steering wheel a couple of times. Stupid stupid stupid. What is wrong with you? One kiss and you turn into a blithering idiot. Get yourself home right now.
* * *
SHE GOT HOME just in time to hop in the shower and have story time with Lily before bedtime. DeShawn had been right. Lily had gotten some extra hugs and kisses. Tiana felt the horror of the day slip away as she curled up beside Lily on her small bed.
“Why don’t you read one to Momma?” she asked.
Lily’s eyes widened. “Two stories? That’s against the rules.”
“Just this once,” Tiana replied. “Momma needs more snuggle time.”
Later that night, she lay in her own bed staring at the ceiling. Every time she closed her eyes, she’d see that shoe. That impossibly tiny shoe. And feel the gasp tear at her throat again. Weeks ago, she had been in the hallway when a patient pulled out a gun and threatened to kill everyone if he didn’t get his oxycontin. That had been less frightening.
“Come on, Tee. Get it together,” she whispered aloud in the dark, twisting and turning on the pillows, jerking the covers up to her ears. Fine. Fine. That little girl is fine. Her family is fine. It wasn’t Lily. Calm your nerves. Think about something else. Her brain helpfully loaded up an instant replay of that kiss. Not that! “I give up,” she muttered and flung the covers off. It was wine time.
“Can’t sleep?” Vivian asked from the living room.
Tiana poured some merlot in a glass and went to sit on the couch with her mother. “No. I had a bad scare at work.”
Vivian made a mmm-hmming sound as her knitting needles clinked. “You can talk to me about it if you think it’ll help.”
Tiana scrunched up into a tight ball at the end of the plush couch and took a sip. Haltingly, she tried to put into words the horror she’d felt. Vivian nodded and knitted. When her words ended, Vivian glanced over.
“You remember when Jayla Fraiser passed?”
Tiana frowned. “That was, what? Fifteen years ago?”
“About that. Remember what happened?”
“She went out on the lake with too many kids in a rowboat. It tipped over and she drowned.”
“And where were you supposed to be?”
“Helping Daddy at the vegetable stand.”
“And where were you actually at?”
Tiana sipped more wine. Strange how her mother could make her feel ten years old again. “At the library.”
“We heard a girl had drowned in the lake. Didn’t know who. I went to tell your daddy and you weren’t there. Your daddy thought you were home. I thought you were with him. I felt like my soul had been ripped straight out of my body and sent to hell. Went flying down to the lake. That’s when Trey told me you weren’t with them.”
Tiana nodded. Soul ripped out. Sent to hell. “That sounds just about how I felt. How long did it take you to get over it?”
Vivian shook her head and returned to her knitting. “A mother doesn’t ever get over that. A child is her heart walking around loose in the world. Nope, Momma’s going to be worrying over you forever. Just like you with Lily. Go back to bed, Tee. Say some prayers. Do your best.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
DESHAWN WAITED ON the steps of his apartment building. Looking up into the blue sky, he realized it was getting warmer. February was over. In less than a month, the temperatures could be up into the eighties. Spring was on the way. He felt oddly nervous as he waited. That kiss. My God. That kiss. Tiana had a million excuses but none of them had stopped her. She’d kissed him back. Those had been her hands twisting the fabric of his jacket. Propping his elbows on the step behind him, he smiled. It had been an amazing kiss.
More than those curls, those hips, those lips. The little he knew of her, she was smart and determined. He’d looked up the whole Corridor of Shame thing. Tiana graduating from college after a lifetime spent in the schools in that area was like winning the lottery. The woman had grit and strength. He liked that.
A quick beep of a horn brought him back to the here and now. The window of Tiana’s car powered down. “You getting in, Mister Maid, or are you sitting there collecting frost?”
He approached the car and leaned in the window. “Depends. Where’s it frostier? Out here or in there?”
Her smile felt like a victory.
“Get in, DeShawn—stop letting all my heat out.” The window powered back up as he climbed in. He lifted a stack of papers from the seat before settling in. Tiana held a hand out. “You can give me that.”
“‘One thousand and one reasons I should have a kitten,’” he read from the top page.
She snatched the papers from his hand and put them in the back seat. “My daughter. She’s waging war upon me.”
“If you need a kitten, I know where you can get one.”
“I don’t need a kitten. I don’t want a kitten. I don’t have time
for a kitten.”
“I’m just saying. When you lose that war, let me know. A woman I know has ten foster kittens almost ready to be adopted.”
“It’s not the kitten. It’s the litter box.”
“You can train them to...”
His words were cut short by a frustrated growl. Tiana shot him a murderous look. “This kitten woman you know? She’s not a librarian, is she?”
“No. She’s the office manager at the Cleaning Crew.”
Putting the car in Reverse, Tiana backed out of the parking space “I don’t want to talk about kittens. I’m so sick of hearing, reading, seeing crap about kittens.”
“Sounds like your daughter inherited your stubborn streak.”
“I’m not stubborn. I just know what I want and I don’t stop until I get it.”
“Stubborn.”
“Want to walk, Man Maid?”
“Want to talk about that kiss, Nurse Ratched?”
She cut her eyes at him. “No.”
He held on to the car door and kept his mouth shut. After they’d made their way out of the city and into the countryside, he turned his head to look at her. “Why do you always seem mad at me?”
“No more questions.”
“Why not?”
“Because you annoy me.”
“Name one way I annoy you.”
Her dark eyes cut in his direction, brows arched high enough to disappear into the curls across her forehead. “Breathing.”
“Breathing? I annoy you by breathing?”
“Yes.”
“Huh,” he said, settling back in his seat. “You’re just going to have to deal with that because I’m not planning to quit breathing anytime soon.”
Silence played out for a few more miles.
“You’ve got a smart-ass attitude.”
“And you’re Miss Suzi Sunshine?”
She didn’t respond and he peeked over. Her lips were pressed tightly together. “You’re right,” he said. “I do have a smart-ass reputation. But I only smart-ass with people I like. Like that woman who had her tongue down my throat the other night.”
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. “That was a moment of weakness. And I don’t want to talk about it. You said I was mean.”
“No I didn’t. I asked why you always seem mad at me.” More silence. He shook his head. Why bother? “Forget I asked.”
He leaned forward to pull off his coat. It was getting hot in there. Tiana reached out and turned the heat down. “I’m not mad,” she said. “I just don’t need any...distractions.”
Turning the word over in his mind a few times, DeShawn bit down on about twenty snarky comments. “Okay,” he said, drawing the word out.
She threw a quick glance in his direction, sending those curls bouncing. “Okay.”
As if they’d settled anything.
* * *
FINALLY, HE SHUT UP. Tiana focused on the winding country road before her. It wasn’t his smart-assedness, it was his voice. The low, sweet baritone like Reverend Al Green was sitting next to her. Made her feel things. Want things. Like more of those kisses. But this wasn’t college anymore. She had Lily back now. She took in and let out a breath. Nothing could be about what she wanted.
She knew it was a mistake to offer him a ride. Trapped in the car alone with him, there was no hiding from her feelings. Ignore it. Focus on the project. She made a left onto the last stretch of road. About four more miles, then he’d be out of her car. And she could breathe without the scent of his leather coat and soap or aftershave or whatever it was that made her want to take a bite out his neck. A small figure was walking along the highway and she slowed and moved to the center line as she passed.
“Wait,” DeShawn said, twisting in the seat to look out the back window. “That’s just a kid.”
She slowed further and studied the rearview mirror. He was right. It was a little girl, clutching a hoodie tight around herself. Glancing at the dashboard, she saw it was forty degrees outside. “I hope she’s not walking to town,” she said, braking and doing a three-point turn.
She stopped in the middle of the road and powered down the window. “Honey? Are you okay? Do you need a ride?”
The girl stopped. She looked like she might have been around twelve. “I’m not allowed to get in cars with strangers.”
Tiana nodded. “That’s a very good rule. Are you going to town? We are going to the school to meet with Mr. Gardner. Do you know him?”
The girl pulled the hoodie closer. “Yes. He’s my social studies teacher.”
Tiana pulled the car off the road and put it in Park. Grabbing her phone, she climbed out. “What if I called him and he said it was okay to ride to town with us, would that be okay?”
Before the girl could answer, she dialed Henry’s number. She explained the situation and handed the phone to the girl.
“Mr. Gardner? It’s Patrice. This lady okay? She has a man with her.”
“Tell him it’s DeShawn.”
“No, sir. My momma had to get another shift so she rode the bus out this morning. Yes, sir. Okay.”
Patrice handed the phone back to Tiana. “He said I can ride with you.”
“That was a smart idea,” DeShawn said once they had her settled in the back seat and had turned around.
“I’ve been known to have one from time to time,” Tiana said. She glanced at the girl in the rearview mirror. “Patrice, tell DeShawn what you meant by your mother having to ride the bus out. He’s not from around here.”
“You don’t know about the buses?”
DeShawn turned to look back. “No.”
“Ain’t no jobs out here,” Patrice said. “Best place for work is at the hotels on Hilton Head. The hotels run a bus out here, pick up all the maids, then bring them back at night.”
“What time does your mother get on the bus?” Tiana asked and shot DeShawn a knowing look.
“To be at work by seven, she gets on the bus about five in the morning, I’d suppose.”
“And she gets home, when? About six at night?”
“Yes’m.”
Tiana looked at DeShawn. “That’s what it’s like out here. To get work, these kids’ parents are gone for thirteen, fourteen hours. And those are the good jobs.”
They rode the last mile in silence. Patrice jumped from the car with her thanks and scurried down the street toward the library. DeShawn caught Tiana’s hand as she was gathering her things. The feel of his fingers on her palm sent a lightning-fast and hot sizzle up her arm. She looked into his eyes.
“Is that what your parents did?” he asked. “Ride the bus?”
She pulled away. “No. My daddy was a farmer. Mostly soybeans. Just a couple acres. My mother, she ran what was supposed to be a day care but it was really a one-stop community center and after-school care. Some days, there’d be ten of us sitting in a circle on the floor, doing homework.”
“That sounds nice.”
She smiled. Yeah, it sounded nice. Made her mother sound like a saint. And she had been for many of the kids she reached out to. Truth was, she was desperately trying to keep them out of the street, off drugs and in school. She didn’t succeed in that with all the kids. Unrelenting poverty has a way of grinding people down.
She popped open the door. “Come on, they’ll be waiting on us.”
He followed her up the sidewalk, walking quickly in the brisk air. At the entryway, he touched her elbow. “Does it ever freak you out?” he asked in a low voice.
“Does what freak me out?”
He shook his head and reached for the door. “Nothing. Doesn’t matter.”
She stepped into the warm building but caught his wrist as he walked past her. “Yes. It freaks me out,” she whispered. “I sit
at the nurses’ station and listen to the nurses my age talking about their sororities or ski vacations or going to Europe like it’s no big thing. And I sit there, feeling like I’ve wandered into a place I may not quite belong. Is that what you meant?”
He stepped closer to her and she resisted the urge to step back. Up close, those eyes were too direct, too bold, too entrancing. “Yes. Coming here, to talk to these kids, I feel like a fraud.”
“Imposter syndrome. I looked it up.”
Some of the intensity left his eyes and the beginnings of one of his snarky grins played at the corner of his lips. “Of course, you would have.”
She smacked playfully at his arm. “It’s a real thing. Especially in first-generation college graduates who are the first in their families to move into white-collar professions.”
“Now you sound like Mickie reading off her index cards while she’s studying.”
Tiana shook her head. “Where do you think she got the idea?” She began walking down the hall, toward the classroom and he followed.
“But what do you do about it?”
“Fake it. Fake it ’til you make it, baby. Come on, Lena is waiting on us and she doesn’t seem the type you want to keep waiting.”
That made him laugh. “Now, there’s an understatement.”
* * *
THE PLANNING MEETING only took a few minutes. Everything was in place to have speakers come once a week for the next month. They would add in other things as they discovered needs. After that, DeShawn, Malik and Henry were dispatched to Lena’s car to haul in the first boxes of donated books.
Tiana looked around the small room that was the library. “Dang, this is tiny. Is it supposed to be the library or was it a classroom?”
Lena shrugged. “I have no idea. I’m just glad someone cleaned it out already. I’d be sneezing and wheezing for a month from the dust and mildew that was here.”
A wave of frustrated anger rolled through Tiana and her fists clenched. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly. Getting mad never solved anything. “It’s still a gloomy place. I think a nice bright coat of paint might cheer it up, hmm?”
The Littlest Boss Page 9