“We agreed on nothing. You told me your terms and I had to decide if I thought they were reasonable. I think they’re more than reasonable. But Payton? I don’t just want a relationship, like you said. Romantic or otherwise, I want everything. Including truth like you put it.”
“Everything? What is that supposed to mean?”
She wasn’t pushing him away. In fact, her hands were clinging to the front of his shirt. That gave him hope. “Just what it sounds like.”
“And what is that?”
“The whole shebang.” He cupped the back of her head in one hand and slipped the other around her waist. He tucked her up against his chest. He’d never felt more nervous in his life.
Blue eyes looked into his, so puzzled and confused. “And what is that?”
Luc spoke slowly. “Everything. You, me. Together. You know, like together, together. No hiding it, no denying it. As permanent as we can make it.”
“And how do we do that? I’m still not sure what you’re asking.”
“Are you being deliberately obtuse?” He shook her side to side gently. She was going to make him spell it all out, wasn’t she? Honesty, complete honesty. “I want you to move in here. Live with me, the dogs, all of it. We build a relationship together one day at a time.”
“Are you serious?”
Not the response he’d expected. The fist clenched around his guts tightened. “Fucking yes, I’m serious.”
“After knowing you not quite a month. A month in which we’ve only spent a total of maybe three of four days together tops.”
“But those days were enough to show me exactly what I want. And when I want something, truly want something, I’ll do whatever I have to in order to make that a reality. And I’ve never wanted anyone more.”
“And you’ve decided you want me, and regardless of how I feel, you’re going forward? I don’t know, Luc. I don’t know how I feel about you, to be honest. I don’t know how I feel about any of this.” But she rested her head on his chest, against his heart.
“That’s what I’m saying. Move in here, so we can figure out exactly what it is that we do feel.”
“And if we decide we don’t want to be with each other? Then what? Then I’m living here, and won’t have anywhere else to go.”
“You think I’d just kick you out?”
“No. Of course not. But I’ve never lived with anyone. And I’m not sure I want to start now. Especially considering the circumstances of how I ended up here. I need normal. And to be honest, that is the last thing you are.”
Arrows through his heart. “So are you saying no?”
She pulled in a deep breath and he felt the movement of her chest against his. “I’m saying not now, and I’m confused and unsure. Let’s just figure out who’s responsible for these poor girls, and get things back to normal. Then I’ll go home and we can go more slowly.”
“I don’t think I can do slowly. I’ll go nuts if I’m not with you. I’m serious; I have a serious obsession for your building. You need to stay with me to keep me sane.” He was only half teasing. The thought of her leaving, of not seeing her every single day had him close to a damned panic attack.
“I’m starting to think you’re long past sane, or insane, however you want to put it.” She pulled back, a little, and looked up at him. “I won’t lie about this. Your offer is tempting, more than tempting. You drive me crazy, too, you know? I never know what you want, what you’re going to do or say.”
“And that’s a bad thing? I thought women liked a man of mystery.”
“Not when you use it to keep people away. I have a feeling why you do it.”
She let him scoop her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She wore nothing under the shirt. His hands tightened on the globes of her ass and he held her against him for a long moment. “And why is that?”
“Because you’re afraid. You don’t want anyone to know you, not really. Not me, not Cody, and certainly not Paige. Even your bodyguards, who’ve been with you for years and who are fiercely loyal, by the way—you don’t let them get near you emotionally. You can’t keep living like that, Luc.”
He gave her words some serious consideration. “I know, but it’s worked this long. Why should I change?” She closed her eyes, and his heart stopped. He’d said the exact wrong things, hadn’t he? “Baby…I…”
“You should change because you are alone, and you don’t have to be. But change only if you truly want to. You can’t change for anyone else. Just yourself.”
Chapter Forty-Five
It was hard to believe everything was over. It hadn’t even been forty-eight hours since the barbeque at Ed Dennis’ house.
Things had changed just that fast.
Of course, Luc refused to take credit for the work he’d done. And it didn’t surprise her; if nothing else, she’d learned this week that Luc didn’t like being the center of everything. It was just his wealth and position that brought him that recognition, and he dealt with it because he felt it was his responsibility.
He’d owed to the man who’d taken him in, he’d said, to shoulder the burdens of the company. In her opinion he’d done more than shoulder it—he’d carried it up new mountains the likes of which Manual Lucas could probably never have imagined.
Luc should be proud of who he was and what he’d accomplished. But just like in his sister, Payton easily saw the signs of the neglect they’d faced as children. Damn their mother. Damn her to hell and back for what she’d done to her children.
The lasting effect of what Paige had endured was still visible today. Even though the table they sat around was one of the smaller ones in the café, Paige sat at a distance from the two men on each side of her. Of course, it could have been because she was still leery of Luc, and everyone knew she and Mick were never on friendly, let’s-sit-beside-each-other terms. But Payton had seen her put distance between herself and others many times. Was Paige even aware that she did that?
“So what’s the next step?” Luc asked, his hand warm where it was wrapped around Payton’s knee. He hadn’t stopped touching her since they’d entered the small café near his office. She didn’t know what she thought about that. “You ok, sweetheart?”
“Just tired. And glad it’s all over.” She looked at Mick and the files in his hands. “It is over, isn’t it?”
“For the most part. There will be testifying, and all of that. And we have a few more offshoots to track down. Tri-Bridge will be thoroughly investigated. But other than that, Lucas’s involvement is at an end.”
“I have a few things still at my office. I had my assistant check a few more files. She’s remarkably efficient at that sort of thing. She scares me at times.” Luc gathered his trash from his meal and put it on the tray, then gathered Payton’s. “We’ll get it now. Payton, you want to stay with Paige? Brockman and I will walk over and grab the files. Then you and I will head over to the airport.”
“Going somewhere?” Mick asked.
“I’m taking Payton to dinner this evening. There’s this little place in Ann Arbor that I think she’ll like. We’re going to talk about a few things.” He stared at her, and Payton knew he was waiting for her to deny it.
For some reason she didn’t.
“Going to be gone long?” Mick wasn’t happy with the news. She wasn’t sure she was, either. They’d definitely be talking tonight. And they’d have to deal with his railroading over her yet again. No matter what happened between them, he wouldn’t be making decisions for her again. “We might need you for something.”
“Just overnight, I’m afraid. Something to celebrate the end of this.”
“And you couldn’t do that here?”
“I think that’s awesome, Davie. Very romantic. So what do you do, just call and say ‘have my plane ready. I’m hungry and want to go to this state or that?”
“Something like that. One of the definite perks.” Luc stood, the move echoed by one of his bodyguards. Payton was almost used to their pres
ence now. He favored Chase and Terrance over the others, and those two men worked fifty hour weeks, at Luc’s disposal. But she’d seen for herself how loyal the two were to Luc. And after hearing their stories, she understood that loyalty. Luc looked at Terrance. “Stay with her—them. It shouldn’t take us more than fifteen or twenty minutes.”
“Time enough for ice cream,” Paige said. Payton got the feeling she was glad to be away from Mick for a few minutes.
“Terrance is buying.” Luc bent down and pressed a hard, quick kiss against Payton’s lips. It still startled her, even after everything that had happened over the last week, how normal and right it seemed when he did things like that. And he did a lot like that. He was always touching her, always looking at her or for her. He was the most caring man she’d ever been with, and that terrified her. “We’ll be back soon. Don’t leave without Terrance.”
She watched him walk out of the café, not speaking. Finally she looked at his sister. “Wow. This week…”
“Has been one of the strangest of my life. And that’s saying something.” Paige leaned her elbows on the table, then looked at the bodyguard quickly. As if weighing what she had to say. Then she shrugged. “Do you love Davie?”
“I—” Davie. Would Paige always call him that? Like she’d called Patrick Patty for so long? Probably. But Payton would never be able to think of him as a Davie. She hadn’t been alone with Paige since Paige had learned that Luc was her brother. What was she supposed to say to her friend?
She pulled in a deep breath. Truth. When you didn’t know what to say, it was always best to just tell the truth. “I think I do. Oh, Paige, I know it’s crazy…we’ve only been together for a month, if you can even count the few weeks when we weren’t in that time. We’ve spent a grand total of eight days together in that time, but…I just…”
“I get it. You and Al are both completely insane.” Paige stared at her for a long, long time. Her eyes really were so much like her brother’s. Did she realize that? “But do you love love him, you know?”
“I think I do. I can’t explain it. Maybe I’ll never be able to figure it out, not fully. I’ll try not to hurt him, if that’s what you’re saying. I know he’s your brother and you care about him…”
“Do I?” A hint of vulnerability Payton wasn’t used to seeing hit her friend’s face.
“I don’t know. Do you?”
“How can I? I don’t know him.” Paige shook her head. “We lost that years ago. I respect him, and I admire what he’s done, and what he stands for. But it’s not like Al and her brothers. Or even like Sebastian and his. They aren’t very close, but they are still brothers, with shared history and all of that. They even finish each other’s’ sentences sometimes. They all do that.”
“Carrie. Carrie just recently met her sisters, didn’t she? But she cares about them, right?”
“I guess.” Paige fidgeted in her seat; a move Payton recognized for the nerves behind it. “How do I know if I can love him? Nobody has ever…”
“Ever what? Loved you? You know that isn’t true,” Payton said gently. This was the most Paige had ever opened up to her about anything. Was it just because of her connection to Luc? “Carrie loves you, Al, me, the rest of your team. You have people who care about you. Lots of them.”
“But why? I’ve never understood that.”
“Paige…you care about them, right? Why shouldn’t they feel the same about you?” Paige wasn’t fishing for compliments or anything like that, and Payton knew it. The confusion was so clear to her. Why hadn’t anyone realized how Paige truly felt? Was she that good at hiding things from the real world? Who was the real Paige?
Payton covered her friend’s hand with her own. “Paige, look at me. Your brother loves you. First, because of the bonds of family that exist between you. And for now that should be enough, because the rest of it will come with time. Once he gets to really know you—and you get to really know him—you’ll both see what a wonderful, loving, caring, truly remarkable person the other is. And that’s how I feel about both you. You are very much alike, although he has the unbelievable ability to annoy me to the point where I want to scream. Thankfully, that’s a trait the two of you don’t seem to share. I do love him. Love love him, as you put it. Because he is a wonderful person, and because when I am with him, I feel right again. I don’t forget the brother I lost, but Luc makes me see…” How did she put it? “He makes me see the rest of the world outside my comfort zone. We come from such different worlds…”
“No, you don’t. You come from a better world.”
Paige’s bitterness was so easy to hear. “I wasn’t talking about your mother, but Manny. The man who adopted him. He gave Luc everything. I was worried for a while about that.”
“What?”
“If he had everything, why would he want me? My biggest fear was that it was just proximity, you know?”
“But all anyone has to do is watch him looking at you. It’s evident how he worships you. I mean, it’s almost like you even breathe to the same rhythm now. I don’t understand that.”
“I’m not sure I do, either.” What was Paige really asking? Payton got the feeling that it wasn’t about her and Luc. Not deep down, where Paige hid the true part of herself. “What’s really bugging you? About your brother and me?”
Paige folded her arms down and rested her head on them for a minute. “About you and Luc, Al and that Seth guy, even Carrie and Sebastian. Not to mention Dan and Ally. They’re like the perfect couple, surrounded by kids, and waiting for two more. And they are like they’ve been together forever. Ally just sort of fits around the house, and the kids make everything seem so perfect.”
“But it’s different than what you are used to.” Because Paige had never had that, had she? She probably did feel like an outsider, living just on the fringes of Dan’s life. Before the older man had met Ally, one of Payton’s supervisors, he’d lived completely alone in a huge house. Paige had rented a small apartment from him in the basement, where she still lived today. But Ally had two children, Dan had three, and they were expecting twins. Paige had to feel a bit displaced, didn’t she?
“To be honest, it’s like I’m still stuck in a foster home cycle. And I left that shit behind when I was eleven. But it sort of followed me!”
“You’re not on the outside now, Paige. I can promise that.” And she wouldn’t be. No matter what happened between Payton and Luc from here on out, Payton was almost one hundred percent certain that he’d make a point of being in his sister’s life. It was the kind of man he was. “You’re Luc’s family, and he loves you—wants to love you, as an adult brother rather than an overprotective older brother.”
“I’m not sure I’m lovable.” Paige’s sigh was rueful, and had Payton’s heart breaking for her. “But I guess I can say, officially, welcome to my family, huh?”
“What do you mean?”
“Think I don’t see how this is going for you two? You’re the kind who needs the shiny rock and the picket fence. And he’s the kind of guy who will do whatever he has to in order to give you what you want. He’s that kind of relentless.”
And what exactly was it that she wanted?
She looked into Luc’s sister’s eyes and the answer was suddenly clearer than glass to her. “I want him.”
“I’m glad. Shouldn’t you tell him?”
Payton spoke again, drawing her words out slowly. “I want him, and I love him. I know I shouldn’t be afraid. But I am. I’m a coward where he’s concerned. And I shouldn’t be.”
Paige sat back in her chair and uncrossed her arms. “So why are you? What about him scares you?”
“The fact that I’m sure he’ll change his mind someday. That he’ll see me for who I am. Or he’ll find someone else who suits him better, someone from the world he lives in now. And that’s ridiculous.”
“Yes, it is. People love you, too, Payton. In fact, it seems like everyone loves you, at times. You’re a nice person, and people want to b
e around you. And my brother adores you.”
“He does, doesn’t he?” Memories of how they’d been together over the last week replayed in mind, like someone had pressed play on a projector. She could see how he’d treated her; his hands gentle, his mouth smiling, his hands supporting when needed.
He’d held her when she needed held. And loved her when she’d needed it.
“I don’t know much about men.”
“Neither do I.”
“I don’t really know him. Not in the time-frame sense. But I know him inside. I know what he’s frightened of, and I know what his strengths are. I know he drives me crazy with that annoying whistling. And I know that the reason he tries to keep tabs on me and control everything is because he does care. And he doesn’t want to lose me. Because he cares about me. I know that the days I’ve spent with him this week have been some of the very best in my life in a long time.”
Payton stood. Paige stared up at her for a moment. “Going to him, aren’t you? It’s time for the grand finale, just like Seth showing up at the Battle to get Al.”
“Something like that.” What had her brother Patrick always said? That sometimes you had to make a decision because you knew it was the right one, in the right moment and that was all that mattered?
Now was one of those times.
Terrance stood and Payton was barely aware of the bodyguard’s move. Paige grabbed the rest of the litter on the table and balled it up.
“So, let’s get this on. Should I get out my phone? Video it for posterity?”
Payton didn’t answer.
She’d chosen to be with him. Her choice, her actions. Forever.
Chapter Forty-Six
Luc led the way down the street toward the office building that had once housed the entirety of Lucas Tech. The company had grown more than had ever been predicted in the last fifteen years, but Luc still kept the home offices in the same small building that it had always been in. Sentiment, mostly, rather than functionality. Manny had understood; the man had favored tradition. And had instilled that love in his adoptive son.
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