by Jack Wallen
“We’ve got something better than information,” Billy proclaimed, and waved for Kitty to step forward. “That song you were singing…how well do you know it?”
The woman laughed. “Like it was my own child. Why do you ask?”
Billy turned to Kitty and, with a wicked smile, nodded. Without a word spoken between them, Kitty belted out the first verse and chorus of “Dancing With The Devil”. The woman’s stoic countenance shifted first into curiosity and then joy. She inched her way toward Kitty. “You can’t be…”
Kitty sang as the woman approached.
“Oh, my God, you are!” she shouted, and rushed Kitty.
Billy jumped to the rescue of Kitty. He leaped before her to prevent the stranger from reaching the singer. “That’s close enough, lady.”
The woman raised her hands and backed off. “I’m terribly sorry. I’m such a huge fan of yours. Your music is the thing that keeps us keeping on. We’d heard rumors that you guys had landed in this area, but we’ve yet to make it far enough beyond this point to locate you.”
“How long have you been here?” Billy asked.
“We’ve been holing up in this sewer for…dear Lord, I’ve lost track of time. I don’t even know what day of the week it is; not that it matters, I guess. What day is it? My name’s Gracie, by the way.”
Kitty held out her hand to Gracie. “My name is Kitty Casket. This is Billy the Bat, and over there you’ll find Todd Flash, Tom Mooner, and Max van Angst.”
Gracie waved away the introductions as unnecessary, until Kitty got to Max. “New drummer?” the woman asked.
Kitty’s face fell. “You know how it goes these days.”
Gracie nodded sympathetically. “I’m so sorry–”
Billy scratched his head. “I hate to cut the cord on this cordial moment, but we’re kind of in a hurry. We’ve been chasing down this guy in a beat-down Chevy. Tall, skinny bastard…looks like just about any given redneck.”
Gracie shook her head slowly. “Sorry, Billy, I haven’t seen anyone other than…” Gracie’s eyes went wide and her mouth sealed tight.
“What is it?” Billy asked softly.
“Moaners,” Gracie whispered.
“I don’t hear anything,” Billy replied in kind.
Gracie tapped her nose. Kitty sucked in a deep breath and winced. “Holy shit, that is foul.”
“There’s a big group of the sons a bitches that’ve been shambling around this area for a while now. There’s too many of them for us to take out. Maybe with your help…”
Billy tossed up his hands. “No. We aren’t…”
Kitty interrupted. “Of course we’ll help in any way we can.”
Before Billy could register a complaint, Kitty shot him the look. Billy immediately fell silent, his lips pursed and his brow furrowed.
Max cruised into the scene, hand raised in the air. “If I may?”
Kitty nodded.
Max spoke calmly. “Why don’t we just lure the bastards away from here? That would at least buy you some time, and no one has to risk life, limb, or worse.”
Billy nodded. “Damn good idea, Max.”
Tears rolled down Gracie’s dry, weathered cheeks. “You would do that for us?”
Kitty took Gracie’s hand in hers. “Only if you promise to do your best and make it to The Last Casket. I want to see your lovely face in the audience when we rock out our horror punk jams.”
Gracie drew Kitty into a hug. “You can count on it.”
Billy took over the moment. “Okay, here’s how this works. Gracie, you do whatever you can to hide your group out of sight. We’ll point the truck away from this sewer and do everything we can to draw the Moaners away. Don’t come out of hiding until you are absolutely sure the fuckers are gone. Do you understand?”
Gracie nodded.
Kitty looked deep into Gracie’s tired eyes. “Promise me you’ll stay safe and find us.”
Gracie silently agreed.
“And if you happen to run into that stranger, do not engage him. He’s dangerous.”
Kitty turned to Billy and then sprinted off toward the truck. The band followed suit and, once all were on board, Todd turned over the ignition and slowly backed his way out of the sewer.
“Oh, son of a bitch,” Billy hissed. “Would ya look at the size of that goddamn horde?”
On a grassy rise, a gathering of twenty plus zombies stood…swaying and moaning in an out-of-synch, slow motion, absurdist tribute to Thriller.
“I’m so fucking tired of zombies,” Todd whispered, and then turned to Billy. “I’d rather make out with your face than see another one of those jacked-up bastards. Ideas?”
Without a word, Billy reached across Kitty and slammed the palm of his hand into the horn. The obnoxious, old-school wail immediately caught the attention of the gathering. “Damn it, I wish we had the Kitty Mobile. We could blast some tunes and rock and roll those grave dancers out of town.”
Kitty grinned wide and nudged Billy. “Let me out.”
“What? No. Why?” Billy asked.
“Oh, get your panties out of a bunch, Bat. I’m going to hop into the back of the truck so me and the boys can sing for our supper.”
Billy opened his mouth to protest. Kitty shut him down with a raised, fine-point eyebrow. Without another word, Billy capitulated, opened the door, hopped out of the truck, and gestured for his queen to exit the chariot.
Kitty hopped into the bed of the truck. “Okay boys, I hope you feel like singing.”
“What? No,” Tom complained. “I’m the fucking bass player. I don’t sing.”
“You do for now, Mr. Mooner.” Kitty elbowed Tom in the gut. “You do for now.”
“Name the song, Miss Cat,” Angst said with a fiery passion.
“‘Yeah Yeah Yeah’. Max, count us in.”
Max clapped out a quick four-four, and the three bandmates sang at the top of their lungs.
Another journey’s yet to begin
Long lost roads to drive
No matter how long the way
We’re in, we’re ready to jive
My bags are packed
And I’m ready to go
Let me know the pick-up time
And we’re good to go
Oh, here we come your way
We come to raise some hell
Dancing in the moonlight
Rocking ‘til the end of the night
Oh, here we come your way
We come to raise some hell
Nothing’s gonna stop us
This is going down tonight
The Moaners bumbled and stumbled down the embankment…half of them falling awkwardly to their knees and rolling like flailing puppets down the hill. The chaos brigade continued on, drawing near the truck.
“Wait until they get ten yards away and then drive off,” Billy instructed. “Keep the speed down, so we’re always within hearing range.” Billy slammed his hand down on the outside of the door. “Hell yeah, bastards. We’ve got the freshest fucking meat on the market…yeah, yeah, yeah!”
The trio in the back of the truck continued singing.
Endless cities, countless faces
So many different places
Some of them you don’t wanna let go
We don’t have a choice, but we have to
We don’t only do it for you
We just love what we do
We’re living our dream
And we wanna thank you
We don’t want the good times to end
Drinking with all of my friends
Music day in and out
That I can’t live without
The twitchy gang continued the death march after the truck. The truck-bed chorus picked up with another Kitty In A Casket tune to pied-piper the beasts into the open road.
“How long are we going to do this?” Todd shouted above the din.
“No idea, Flash. I guess until they lose interest in the sewer gang.”
Th
e apocalypse parade continued on. Kitty sang loud and proud and, every so often, Todd would punch the horn when interest in the truck would wane. They reached the edge of yet another ghost town that looked to be the perfect spot to drop off the monster squad when the sound of hate rattled the cage of the truck.
“Oh, fuck no.” Billy said, fear choking his voice.
Kitty peeked her head through the cab window. “Was that…”
The sound of screaming returned, this time closer.
“Screamers.” Billy and Todd spoke in unison.
Kitty reached through the window, grabbed a handful of Billy’s shirt, and drew him to the glass. “What do we do, Billy?”
“I…” Billy stalled out, his gaze darting about in search of some semblance of an answer. “We let the Screamers get close enough to pick up the scent of the Moaners. Just before they get within striking distance, we race off into the distance.”
“Good thinking, cowboy. Only problem with that plan is, Screamers are fucking faster than this piece of shit truck!” Todd’s voice wound up, pegging eleven.
“Don’t punch it ‘til you see the sour milk whites of their eyes,” Kitty added.
“Good call. The second I see those creeptards, I’m gunning this bitch straight for the horizon,” Todd responded, squeezing the wheel with a white-knuckled grip.
From multiple directions, the hell-born sounds of screams rose, loud enough to kick-start everyone’s pulse. Todd raced the engine of the truck; the chassis twisted under the raw power of the V8 engine. From behind, Kitty and company belted out “Fire And Ice” in their native German.
Wir laufen und laufen,
Doch es ist Zeit stillzustehen
Es liegt an uns wir müssen uns umdrehen
Angesicht zu Angesicht
Dem Feind ins Auge sehen
Auch wenn wir den Sinn dahinter nie verstehen
Alles auf Angriff, kein Weg vorbei
Doch bei uns zweien kann ich mir sicher sein
Wie Pech und Schwefel
Durch Feuer und Eis
Ich bin an deiner Seite
Bin das was bleibt
Und stehen wir auch vorm letzten Gericht
Ich geb mein Leben für dich
Gibst du dein Leben auch für mich?
“Well played, Kitty! Well played,” Billy shouted.
The cantata in hate flat crescendoed until the windshield glass shuddered in its frame. In the distance, a massive cloud of dust rose.
“Holy hand grenade of Antioch,” Max whispered. “We are so fucking doomed.” Max nervously drummed out a speed-metal four-four on the roof of the truck. “Todd,” Max called out. “Maybe now would be a good time to bail.”
Todd revved the engine in response.
“Seriously, man,” Max replied. “Make like your last name and get us out of here at the speed of zoom!”
Another call and response from the engine.
The first wave of Screamers exploded from the massive cloud of dust. The second Todd spotted the rage-fueled wall of hate, he slammed the truck in gear and punched the gas. The truck lurched forward and was up to speed in seconds.
Billy grabbed Todd’s arm and shouted, “Dude, why are you heading straight for the zombies?!”
“Hold onto your butts!” Todd screamed and, just when the truck was dangerously close to the first squadron of Screamers, he turned hard left and punched the gas again. The truck complained against the roadside gymnastics, but muscled onward all the same. The three members in the back of the truck clung to the railing with both arms and every ounce of strength they could muster. A handful of Screamers bounded after the truck, but the old engine had enough chutzpah to distance itself. As soon as the Screamers realized the chase was lost, they turned back to the sound of the Moaners.
“You don’t think those damnable pricks will find Gracie?” Kitty shouted above the rushing wind.
Billy stuck his head out the window and called back. “No. We led the Moaners too far away. The Screamers won’t be able to pick up their scent. Besides, more than likely the Sharks’ll come chasing after us once they’re done tearing the Jets to shreds.”
Todd didn’t hesitate to jam the accelerator to the floor as he pointed the truck back toward the Last Casket.
ten | gone kitty gone
The gang arrived back at the Casket as the moon bumped the sun from the playlist. They marched into the bar to see Touque seated alone, nursing a drink.
“No luck, Touque,” Billy said with disappointment to spare.
Touque nodded. “Maybe next time, friends.” He lifted his glass to the band and followed the salute with a long drink.
“I hope like hell there won’t be a next time,” Kitty replied. “I’m exhausted. It’s nap time for this kitty.”
“My angst has me crashing hard,” Max added.
Todd scrunched his face up. “Well…umm… I’ll be out in a flash.”
Boos came from all directions as everyone turned in for the night.
Touque rose from the bar and made his way to the kitchen door. He placed his hand over the light switch and said, “Night, kiddies. See you all in the morning.”
Before anyone had a chance to return the kindness, the room went black.
m/
Kitty sat up, eyes still closed against the blackness of night. Without the help of sight, she awkwardly stood and stumbled her way to the kitchen door. The stress of singing at full voice for so long had put a serious strain on her chords. She needed water.
The door to the bar closed behind her. The hum of the kitchen and the smell of well-scrubbed metal was an oddly soothing balm. She reached out in front of her as she shuffle-stepped, until her hand found purchase on the stainless steel, industrial-grade table. With the help of the cold metal guide, she made her way to the sink. The clink of metal pans echoed from behind. She spun on her heels, still unable to see enough to take in the situation.
“Billy,” Kitty whispered. “Is that you?”
The clattering fell silent. Kitty’s question went unanswered.
“I’m not in the mood for games, guys. I just want some…”
Two powerful arms wrapped around Kitty; one hand placed a cloth over her face—the stench of paint thinner, laced with a misplaced sweetness, stung her eyes and nose. Kitty struggled against the overpowering grip of her assailant.
“Sssshhh…sssshhh. It’ll all be over soon. Just relax into it, Kitty.” The strange voice caressed her ears with a loathsome kindness.
The struggle in Kitty’s limbs grew weak, her lungs burned, her eyelids drooped with the weight of a calling calm. She swung her arm up with what little strength she had left, but failed to connect with anything but forgiving air. In what seemed like a far-off distance, she heard the sound of something falling and landing…the noise echoed between her ears and faded as quickly as it came.
The surrounding blackness of night gave way to a far deeper darkness.
m/
Consciousness returned…hard and fast. Kitty’s body jerked in a reverse myoclonic spasm. The rattle of metal chains immediately yanked her mind into the now.
“Wh-what the fu-uck?” Her vision twisted in a Gaussian blur and then focused on her right wrist…which carried the weight of a heavy metal shackle. Her eyes widened and her mouth unleashed a banshee’s raging wail.
“Help!” Kitty shouted, neglecting her already exhausted larynx. Again she cried out, ignoring the stabbing pain. “Somebody help me!”
Through the darkness, a silhouette appeared…tall, skinny. The sound of chair legs dragging against a wooden floor crashed down into the moment.
“No one can hear you, Kitten.” A raspy, drawn-out voice spoke, “Besides, you need to save that purr-ecious voice for later.” The man affected his voice to bring a new level of creep to an already dark and twisted reality.
“Why are you doing this? What do you want?”
“So many questions…so much time.” The stranger laughed. “I’m doing this because
I can. What I want, I now have. Does that answer your questions?”
Kitty’s whimpers evolved into full-blown tears. “No. Please…let me go. I’ll forget this ever happened. I promise…”
“You are in no state to make promises, Miss Casket.”
A bright beam of light cut through the darkness and into Kitty’s pupils. She closed her eyes and craned her neck to avoid the sting. “Just tell me what you want? I’ll do anything.”
Another round of laughter from the stranger. “Oh, my darling, I’m certain you will.”
The statement floated about, wafting over the air like threat and oppression. Kitty pulled her arms in tight, only to feel the tug of chains at both wrists. The sharp light glinted off the metal cuffs on both wrists.
A sharp clapping bounced off the walls and brought the lights in the room to life. Kitty squinted against the sting of her adjusting pupils. A torrent of tears fell from her eyes and onto her cheeks. She took in the situation to see both legs were chained. She traced the thick metal links of the restraints to the center of a stage. The final loops were attached to a massive padlock secured to a D-link welded to the floor.
“Welcome to your new home, Kitty Casket.” The stranger chuckled.
“Fuck you,” Kitty hissed.
The stranger stood and offered up a cliched slow clap. “Now, Kitty, you know that’s not a part of the plan. If I wanted sex, I’d just hire a hooker and be done with it. What I want is so much deeper…so much more. I’m fairly certain you are the only woman on the planet capable of delivering to me what I require.” The stranger leaned into Kitty until she could smell the spicy aroma of his breath. “What I want is far deeper than the primal connection brought about by carnal coupling.”
Kitty strained against her bindings and screamed at the top of her lungs. “I don’t give a shit what you want. Let me the fuck go now!”