He got up slowly, never taking his eyes off me. I made it to the kitchen, and started putting things away. He came up behind me, pressing against me, trapping me between him and the counter. His arms circled my waist. I stood very still, waiting for him to make a move.
“I can hardly wait much longer,” he whispered in my ear, his hands gliding upward over my stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut.
We were playing house, Cass and I. In the days following his attacks, he’d poured on the romance. Every incident was immediately followed by flowers or chocolates or an apology-filled Hallmark card. It was an endless cycle. I played along trying to keep him happy while I planned my escape.
“When’s dinner?” He buried his face in my hair, inhaling deeply before shoving away from me.
“I can have it ready in an hour.”
“I’m going to take a shower.” He winked. I watched him walk away, relieved.
Saturday morning I woke up with Cass leering over me. Startled, I screamed and rolled off the bed. Cass laughed, pulling me up from the floor.
“I’ve got a great day planned for us!” he cheered. “I made breakfast. C’mon, get up.
He made breakfast?
“I have to work,” I yawned.
“Call in sick.”
“I can’t do that. They need me. Saturday’s are the busiest days.”
Cass’s smile faded. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his robe, staring at me. I stared back.
“Then quit,” he said very matter-of-fact.
Oh God, an ultimatum. I couldn’t quit. I needed the money. I buckled.
“Fine. I’ll call in sick.”
Carl, the manager on duty, was very sympathetic. He didn’t question my sudden illness.
“Drink plenty of fluids and get some rest,” he said.
I wasn’t sick before the call, but I felt like crap now.
Cass made pancakes and bacon. He was humming as he flipped them onto a plate.
“Don’t look so sad. They’ll make it without you for one day.”
“I know. I just hate lying to them.” I poured myself some juice and sat down.
“But you’re so good at it.” He shook the spatula at me.
“So what are we doing today that I couldn’t go to work?” I asked, trying for lighthearted banter.
“If the job means more to you than I do, then maybe you shouldn’t work at all,” he snapped, turning back to the stove to flip more pancakes. I almost choked on my bacon.
“It doesn’t. I’m only asking because you seem so excited.” I forced a smile.
Whistling, he turned off the stove and slid into the seat across from me. I watched him pour syrup over his short stack.
“Just wait and see,” he smiled.
* * * *
As the day progressed, so did the queasiness in my stomach. I had a bad feeling about today. I couldn’t put my finger on anything specific Cass had said or done. Actually, he was in a great mood. But my intuition was on high alert.
We spent the afternoon visiting different sites around the city. Our first stop was the Baltimore Museum of Art followed by the Edgar Allen Poe Museum. I’d lived in the city my whole life and never visited either place.
Our last destination was the aquarium. I’d been there plenty of times on school trips and with my mom.
“Are you getting hungry?” Cass asked.
“A little.” We hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast.
“Well, my last surprise is in a half hour.”
“What is it?”
“It wouldn’t be a secret if I told you.” He laughed, touching my nose playfully with the tip of his finger. Taking my hand he led me outside. Instead of heading to the car, he steered me in the opposite direction, down around to the other side of the harbor.
“Tah dah!” he exclaimed.
I looked at him, unsure of what I was supposed to be surprised about. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head while turning me to face the water. The Spirit of Baltimore was anchored in front of us.
“You’re ship, m’lady.”
“This is why you wanted us to dress in layers,” I said.
“Have you ever been on a dinner cruise?” he asked, ignoring my remark.
“No.”
“It’s a lot of fun. I think you’ll really like it.” He was already tugging on my arm.
I was hoping I wasn’t one of those people who got seasick. I’d never been on a boat so I had no idea. Twenty minutes into the harbor I was relieved to find out I wasn’t seasick. I actually liked the feel of the boat as it sliced through the soft swells in the water.
Dinner was a surprise. The food was excellent. I ate more than I should have, my stomach was hard and protesting the waistband of my slacks. Several other guests looked like they were suffering the same fate.
Cass wanted to walk around the deck. He took my hand and led me out of the dining room. I didn’t want to go, it was cold, but I knew better than to protest. The coastline was dotted with lights; they sparkled against the dark night. The view was something I wouldn’t forget. It was moments like this that made me wish I did live in a fairy tale and that Cass actually was Prince Charming. But the reality was ugly, and although he was charming, he was definitely no prince.
We stood at the bow of the ship, huddled in our coats.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Cass reach into his pocket and pull out a small velvet box. He turned me around to face him and got down on one knee. I started hyperventilating, caught myself and pasted on—what I hoped—was a believable look of happy surprise. I wanted to run screaming in the other direction or jump overboard into the icy water, but instead, I focused on my breathing.
In and out. In and out.
He gave me a serious look and opened the box. I didn’t want to look at the ring, but I knew I had to. It was a huge, round diamond set in yellow gold with tiny round diamonds circling inside the band. It was so conspicuous, so Cass.
“Arden Rachel Elliott, will you marry me?”
His movie star smile was lopsided, endearing. Spikes of blond hair framed his handsome features. If I didn’t know the real monster inside that beautiful face I might be tempted to mean what I was about to say. But I was afraid of him. I was afraid to answer any other way.
“Yes,” I whispered, letting the tears fall.
I knew he would think they were tears of joy, not tears of fear. He slid the ring onto my finger. It was cold and a little snug. He kept his hold on the ring as he stood and, with his free hand, gently pinched my chin between his thumb and forefinger forcing me to look into his eyes.
“You won’t regret it.” He kissed me on the mouth, gliding his tongue over my bottom lip. I noted the faint bitter taste of cigarette before he lifted his head and said softly, “If you ever try to leave me, I will find you. There isn’t anywhere you can ever hide from me.”
I shuddered at the calm certainty in which he delivered the threat. I kept my eyes careful and steady.
“Why would I ever leave you?” I smiled, barely getting the words out. My insides were quaking. I knew he meant it. I knew as a detective he had the resources he needed to find me. He kissed me again, pulling me into his arms and crushing me in a bear hug.
That night—in the safety of the bathroom—I sat in the tub, curled into a ball. The shower sprayed over me as I rocked back and forth, hugging my knees to my chest, silently crying. The walls of this prison were closing in faster than I had ever anticipated. I had to leave, now. I didn’t have near enough of the money I’d hoped for, but I was out of time.
It was now or never.
Chapter Ten
Cass wanted the wedding to be formal and in the evening. He instructed me to work with his mom, Marge and sister-in-law, Kara—who were very surprised about the engagement—but both seemed excited for me.
I wanted to ask them so many questions. What was wrong with Cass? Had he always been this way? I wanted to ask them to help me escape. I wanted to beg them to hide me.
Instead, we sat at the breakfast table, in Marge’s bright white kitchen, planning my demise.
“I love the pink organza,” Marge said, flipping through one of the million bridal magazines Kara had brought with her.
“That’s nice, but I think I prefer the burgundy chiffon.” Kara pointed to a picture, sipping her tea.
“Have you decided on a reception site?” Marge asked.
“Cass said he wants it to be at the Celebrations at the Bay.” I tried to sound enthusiastic, but the sadness in Marge’s eyes told me I wasn’t doing a good job.
“I was hoping you’d pick the Gramercy Mansion. I always wanted to see inside that place.” Kara sighed.
I watched them; little bird-like Marge, with her short gray hair, perched on the edge of her seat beside the voluptuous Kara; her long blond hair caught in a ponytail and trailing over her shoulder. I wondered how much they knew about Cass.
Kara was married to Drake, Cass’s older brother—also a detective — who was the polar opposite of Cass. Drake was easy going, funny and lighthearted. I could tell by the way he doted on Kara and their baby daughter, Jessa, that he was a kind man.
“How romantic. I think it’s a perfect location.” Marge patted my hand.
Kara pushed back her chair and came to stand behind me.
“You can wear your hair up for a change,” she said, brushing her fingers over my neck to gather up my long dark hair. Marge gasped. I cast a quick look in her direction. She was clutching the collar of her blouse, her mouth open in horror.
“Son of a—” Kara gently turned my head to examine the bruises on the back of my neck.
“It’s nothing,” I said, pulling my hair back down around the offending marks.
“I told you, Marge. I knew there was something going on,” Kara railed.
“Hon, how... how’d you get those?” Marge looked at me with desperation in her soft blue eyes. Cass’s eyes.
“You know darn well how they got there,” Kara answered, dropping into her chair.
“It was an accident,” I offered lamely. The last thing I needed was someone coming to my defense. Confronting Cass was not an option.
“An accident.” Kara snorted. “This is just like what’s her name. He did the same thing to her.”
Suddenly, she had my full attention.
“Kara, please—” Marge pleaded.
“Please what?” Kara slammed her hand on the table. “Please don’t tell this poor girl what she’s in for? Or please ignore it again?”
Marge started crying, quiet little sighs of a mother’s broken heart.
“What happened to the other girl?” I asked, casting a curious look to Kara.
“Ellen. Her name was Ellen. She’s dead,” Kara said archly. “Cass claimed she tripped and fell down a flight of stairs while they were on vacation in Mexico.”
Marge whimpered.
“You don’t believe that?” I fidgeted in my seat. Abused was one thing. Dead was... well dead was permanent.
“Do you?” she countered, raising a questioning brow.
No, I didn’t. It was too convenient. I knew all too well the accidents that can happen to a woman at the hand of her man.
“Hon, you can’t stay with him. He needs help.” Kara said as Marge whimpered louder into her hand. Kara got up and grabbed the Kleenex box, handing it to Marge who plucked out a few tissues, dabbing at her eyes.
“I can’t leave yet,” I whispered.
“Why not?” Kara snapped. “Are you waiting for him to get tired of you? He won’t.”
Kara scooted her chair closer to me. She laid her hand over mine, securing it to the table. Her eyes flickered with pity and anger.
“Let me tell you what I know. You’re a virgin, right?”
I nodded, amazed she knew that.
“Surprised? Don’t be. All Cass’s girls are virgins. At first they were his age, but the older he gets the younger his girls are. We thought they were gold diggers, but after so many years, and so many break ups, we started seeing a pattern. These girls started out fun and happy. Then little by little we noticed the bruises and long sleeves in the middle of the summer and how they quickly turned into quiet little mice. Then they were gone. Not like Ellen, the dead girl. The first round of girls left him and went back to their families. But Ellen didn’t have any family. She was an orphan raised in foster homes. Cass plucked her out of the system and helped her get on her feet. She fell in love with him though. That girl had a screw loose. She liked the beatings.”
“Kara...” Marge gasped.
“Mom, I know you hate hearing this, but it’s true. Ellen was a little warped.” Kara spun her finger in circles above her ear. Cuckoo. “Anyway, Cass found out she wasn’t a virgin, like she claimed. I heard him hollering at her when I went over to drop off a recipe she’d asked for. He was a crazy man. I’d never heard him like that before. I left before they knew I was there. It wasn’t long after that they went to Mexico.” Kara finished quietly.
She didn’t have to elaborate. I knew exactly what she was talking about.
“I’m leaving him. I just need to get enough money to go so I can get far away.” I told them.
Marge began crying harder into her handful of tissues. Kara rolled her eyes.
“How much is enough?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” I lifted my shoulders, letting them fall in a quick shrug. “I have about four hundred right now.”
“Is it worth your life?” Kara didn’t pull any punches. I knew she meant well. In her place I would be saying the same thing to a girl in my position.
I twirled the ring around my finger. It was gorgeous. When the light touched it brilliant sparks shot everywhere. I hated it. I was going to hock it when I ran. It had to be worth at least two grand in a pawn shop.
“Don’t wait,” Kara warned.
Chapter Eleven
The sun was sinking into the cool waters of the Chesapeake Bay when the reverend married us.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife!”
The cheers went up around us like a death knoll in my ears. I walked in a daze with my arm linked through Cass’s. The reception was filled with people; all friends and family and acquaintances of Cass. None of my family and friends attended. Not that I had any. In the middle of all the happy chaos I never felt more alone.
I thought of my mother.
“It’s not always fairy tales spun from head to heart.” She had once said.
My face hurt from keeping a stupid grin on my face. I needed a break. As soon as the normal series of events unfolded (the pictures, the first dance, the tossing of the garter, the cutting of the cake), I bolted for the terrace, snatching a glass of champagne as I went. I leaned over to stare down at the water.
Don’t wait. Kara had said.
But stupid me... I waited. The ‘accidents’ got worse. Cass found my nest egg hidden in a shoe in my closet. I tried to tell him I was saving up for a wedding gift for him. He didn’t believe me. He broke my arm that night. The next day he sent me roses with a card that read, ‘I’m sorry I love you.’
The missing comma—clearly a typo — was more true than if they’d written it correctly. I was sorry he thought he loved me too.
Once again, I was broke and had nowhere to go. Cass knew every shelter in Baltimore County. I knew running without money made it impossible for me to leave. I started fudging my schedule so he wouldn’t know I was working more than I was. I’d cash my check and give him what he thought was my full pay. I had almost a thousand dollars saved up. I was smarter this time.
I sealed the money in a freezer bag and buried it in the back yard under one of the rain spouts. I tried to look up bus schedules while I was at work, but I rarely had the time, my breaks were over before the antique computer could list the routes. Cass, ever the bloodhound, must’ve sensed something. He shadowed me for the last six weeks as if he knew I was planning to run.
And now, here I was, married. I still couldn’t believe it
. I wasn’t old enough to buy booze, but I was legally bound to Cass. Bringing the flute of champagne to my lips I giggled hysterically.
Here’s to you, Mom. I silently toasted her. I tried to help you and couldn’t. I tried to help myself and couldn’t do that either.
“Here, have another.” Kara pushed a champagne-filled flute into my hand. “You’ll need it.”
I took it, nodding my thanks before guzzling it down.
“Easy there, Betty Ford.” She took the empty glasses from me, setting them on a nearby table.
“I did it.” I hiccupped. “I officially ruined my life.”
“Don’t expect an argument from me.” She snorted.
We stood side by side, staring out at the water. Gales of laughter erupted behind us.
“I’m still leaving.” I promised out loud, more for my sake than hers.
“I hope you do,” she said, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze.
“There you are,” Cass slurred. He was well on his way to being drunk. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“Don’t worry, Cass, she didn’t jump.” Kara gave him a sarcastic grin.
“You’re so funny.” Cass shook his finger at her. He didn’t laugh.
“C’mon, Mrs. Bateman, I wanna dance with my bride.” He slung an arm around my bare shoulders, placing a wet kiss on the corner of my mouth. I cast a backward glance at Kara and rolled my eyes.
Our plan was to spend the night at the Marriott at BWI and then fly to Las Vegas for our honeymoon. I was doing my best to get completely drunk so I would pass out and not have to sleep with Cass at all, or pass out while he had sex with my lifeless body. Either way, I wanted to be unconscious.
The evening was winding down. Most of the guests were starting to leave. I was on my way to the bathroom when I saw Cass duck into another room. Curious, I followed him, leaning my ear against the closed door.
There was someone in there with him. I could hear what they were saying without any trouble; they weren’t exactly whispering.
“Here you go buddy, ten large. Enjoy that honeymoon,” a man guffawed.
Love You to Death Page 8