“Just something the girls said to me earlier,” I shrug my shoulders as if it doesn’t matter when it does, I want to be a dad to this baby just like I want to be Skye’s husband. I just don’t want to hurt them.
“Look Ry; I want nothing more for you to be a part of our baby’s life. I just can’t have you taking over mine.” I’m confused, why would I take over her life? “That means, not telling me what I can and can’t eat once you read those stupid books also telling me not to lift anything or tell me I can’t do something just because I’m pregnant.”
Whoa! I’m not that bad, am I?
“I agree with the first and last, but you’re pregnant Skye, you shouldn’t be lifting anything.”
“Ry…” She starts to protest, and I lift my hand to stop her, and she does although she’s not happy about it as she directs a death stare at me.
“I know, you’re more than capable of looking after yourself and the baby, but I need you both to be okay. So please for the sake of my sanity, do not lift anything.”
She smiles at me softly and reaches out to take my hand. Having her touch me makes me, want to push her up against the wall and kiss the fuck out of her, but I can’t. I’ve hurt her too much, and I need to win her back properly before I can even think about doing that. We start to walk back to the hotel, her hand still in mine when she stops suddenly and pulls out her cell. “Skye, what are you doing?”
She stops whatever the hell she was doing and looks up at me, “I’m trying to work out the time difference to see what time it would be at home. I need to call Oscar.”
I look at my watch and see that its five after midnight, meaning that it’s just after seven back home. “It’s sevenish back home. How about we go back to the hotel where it’s warm, and then you can call him.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” She retakes my hand, and I hold onto her tight as we begin walking back to the hotel. “I was going to call him because I wanted to see if he could see if Misha’s friends were in that bar tonight. My gut is screaming at me that someone saw me there.”
This time I pull out my cell from my pocket while still holding Skye’s hand I hit Oscar's name and put the cell on speaker. “Ryder, have you seen Skye?” He asks in the way of greeting.
“I’m with her now. Can you pull up footage of…?” I look at Skye for the name of the bar as she never mentioned the name or where it was.
“Wisdom in Soho.” She says it loud enough so that Oscar can hear her.
“Got it, what time am I looking at?” I can hear him typing, and I know that he’s already trying to pull up the footage.
“Start at eight; we’re looking for Misha’s friends. Skye has a feeling that someone saw her at the bar and if they did it could have been one of the friends.” The gratitude in Skye’s eyes says everything; she was worried no one would believe her.
“I’m on it and if they are there, what do you want me to do?” As he asks me the question my eyes go to Skye, it’s her decision.
“See if you can follow them, I want to know where they go next and if they drove there, I want the license plate.” She’s full of confidence and courage, and it’s one of the many reasons why I love her, she never backs down, sometimes she just needs a nudge to remember how fucking amazing she truly is.
“Okay, I’m on it. Do you want me to call as soon as we have anything?”
“Hell no, it’s after midnight here, and you can fill us in on any developments during the conference call. We’ll talk to you tomorrow at nine New York Time.” I go to hang up, but Skye snatches the cell out of my hand.
“Thank you, Oscar. Try and get some sleep.” The affection she has for him is evident for us to all hear, and although we’re all like a family, Oscar is my closest friend, and I know that he would die for Skye.
“Take care Skye and if Ryder pisses you off, just kill him.” He laughs as he ends the call and I know if I really did piss her off enough Skye would definitely kill me.
“Thank you.” She says to me as we turn the corner toward the hotel. I don’t know why she’s saying thank you to me; she should never have to thank me. “You being here means a lot. You didn’t have to fly all the way here.”
“Skye, you never have to thank me for being here! I’d fly to the fucking moon if it meant being with you.” Her mouth drops, and I hide my smile, yeah, I just shocked the shit out of her.
“Ryder!” She shouts just as we enter the hotel lobby and the hotel's receptionist stares at her with wide eyes. Skye starts to blush, and she hurries past the reception desk toward the elevators. The elevator doors open and the mischievous smile on Skye’s face as she walks into the elevator and turns to face me, “Ryder, did you take that Viagra yet?”
The sharp intake of breath from the receptionist and the beautiful bright smile from Skye makes me pick up my pace and join Skye on the elevator. I hit the third floor on the panel, and as soon as the doors close I’m in front of Skye, arms each side of her head.
My face inches from her; we’re so close that I can feel her breath on me. “Make no mistake, when I’m around you I don’t need Viagra, hell I just need to look at you, and I’m hard as a rock.”
“God Ryder, you can’t do this to me. You’ve been giving me so many mixed signals you’re making my head spin. It’s not fair Ry, I finally learnt how to move on and now you’re making me want you again.” She leans in closer to me, and as she does she moves her head so that our lips are almost touching, I want nothing more to show her how much I want her and that I’ve finally realized that being with her is better than being apart.
“I’ve never stopped wanting you. Hell, you’re all I have ever been able to think about.” The elevator doors open up, and I look up, we’re on the third floor, I look at the panel and see that the fifth floor is lit up too. “This is me; I’m in three fifteen if you need me. Goodnight Skye.”
As I leave the elevator she sticks her hand out to make sure the doors don’t close, “Ryder, why are you doing this? I don’t understand what’s changed. Is it because I’m pregnant?”
“No, I’ve wanted you ever since I laid eyes on you. You’re smart, sexy, determined, beautiful, and I admire the fuck out of you. Before anything happens, I need to make sure you know that I love you and to do that, you need to trust me, and I don’t care if it takes the rest of my life I’m going to show you every day just how amazing I think you really are. Goodnight Skye, sleep well.” I don’t let her say anything; I want what I said to be constantly on her mind, I need it to sink in. I walk away because I know if I stay I’m not going to be able to control myself around her.
“Good night Ryder.” Just hearing the sound of her voice makes me want to turn around and walk back into that elevator. Skye doesn’t know how much she affects me; there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her. She’s been a permanent fixture in my mind for over five years. I’ve just been a complete bastard when it comes to her, and that's why I have to prove to her that she is it for me.
Crack!
Crack!
Crack!
The sound of the whip hitting her flesh is too much for us. Why did they pick her? I would swap with her in a heartbeat, they’ve been torturing her for days, and it makes me sick that men would hurt women this way.
Crack!
Her body bows from the impact of the whip.
Crack!
The bastards are relentless; they won’t stop.
Crack!
Crack!
Crack!
I doubt she’ll be able to take much more; she hasn’t made a sound since they started on her.
Crack!
Crack!
No matter where I look there is devastation. Sophia on my right being whipped. Smithy is lying on the ground to my left; he died when we first got here. Skye is in front of me; her eyes are full of hurt and pain as she watches our friend being tortured. The bastards finally finish hurting Sophia and leave the room; I kn
ow it won’t be long until they are back again. Each time they come back I watch the hope fade from Skye’s eyes.
I awake with a start, sweat dripping off me. Fuck! When am I going to stop dreaming about what happened in Afghanistan? Everyone else has managed to move on, no-one mentions it, and it kills me that I’m weak and still dream about it. Thinking about Afghanistan reminds me that I failed my team; we lost one of our men. Smithy was one of the best, and he died because some fucking bastard sold us out. Nothing is worse than one of your own selling you out. I failed in protecting my team and because I did, Smithy died, and Sophia was hurt.
I reach over and pick my cell up from the bedside table and see that I managed to sleep longer than I usually do as it’s just after six. It’s too early to go and see Skye, and if I were to wake her, she’d kill me. It’s one in the morning stateside so I can’t get any information from Oscar just yet, so I may as well go to the gym. If anything, a hard workout will get the remnants of that dream out of my mind.
I get to the gym only to find out it’s a tiny little fucking room. Damn it! Seriously not what I need today. There are only a treadmill, a bike and a rowing machine and that’s not the worst thing, there are two people in the room already. Fuck it; I’m going for a run as I can’t be in a room the size of a box with two other people and having my feet pounding the sidewalk will be a better workout than using a treadmill.
Chapter Ten
Skye
The knock on the door has my heart racing, Ryder’s here! I hardly slept last night; my mind was in overdrive as I kept thinking about everything Ryder said to me. He was really messing my head up last night, and the only conclusion I came to was that he wants us to be together because of the baby. I won’t do that; I won’t go into a one-sided relationship just so that my baby has his or her parents under the same roof. I got my hopes up only to have them dashed once again.
I open the door and come face to face with Ryder, why is it that even at eight in the morning he looks sexy as hell? “Good morning Skye.”
“Morning Ry, I won’t be much longer I just have to brush my teeth.” I leave the door open for him and go to the bathroom. “It looks like you’ve been awake for a while.”
“Because I have, I woke up at six.” I can hear him walking around my room as I start to brush my teeth. “You know, up until recently I never understood why you’d brush your teeth before you eat. Now, I totally get it.”
I laugh at him as I talk with a mouth full of toothpaste. “You always used to give me shit about it. Saying I was weird, admit it, you’re the weird one.”
“I plead the fifth.” I can hear the laughter in his voice, and it’s something that I haven’t heard in a while. I’ve missed it, and I’m hopeful that the man that I met all those years ago is finally coming back to me. “It sounded as though I woke you when I called.”
Because he did, I finally fell into a pitiful sleep around five this morning and then he called me thirty minutes ago. “No, I was awake when you called.” I’m a damn liar, but I don’t want him knowing he’s in my head.
I quickly fix my hair, so it doesn’t look as though a rat’s been living in it so that we can go to breakfast and then start the day looking for Addison. I’m hoping that having Ryder around will help get me some more answers. I mean most people take one look at Ryder’s menacing face and spill everything. He’s six feet four and all muscle, I look so small standing next to him, but whenever I’m around him, I feel protected.
“Skye, I’m wasting away out here.” I laugh at his silliness; this is the Ryder I want to be around. The fun-loving guy, I don’t know what’s happened to make him snap out of the funk he was in, but whatever it is I’m grateful. “Where is this house we’re going to today and do I have to get on a train?”
I walk out of the bathroom to see him sitting on my bed waiting for me, damn it, did he have to sit on my bed? Now it’s going to smell of him! “It’s in south London.” The blank stare I get tells me all I need to know; he has no idea where anything is. “Yes, you will have to get on a train. More than one of them.” I grab my purse off the chair beside the window; I’m ready to go now.
“Fuck! I hate public transport.” He bitches but thankfully doesn’t say anything else; I know that he dislikes public transport it has to do with the fact he hates enclosed spaces. He’s never told me why he hates them; I’m not surprised either as he tries his best to hide it, he hates having weaknesses, and he views being claustrophobic as a weakness.
“What time is the conference call at?” I know he said nine New York time, but the time zones have me so confused at the moment. I take the stairs, so he doesn’t have to get into the elevator, and as we start to descend the stairs, I remember that I haven’t shown Ryder the ultrasound picture yet.
“Two o’clock this afternoon. It gives us loads of time to talk to the neighbors and be back.” That’s actually a relief at least I won’t be on edge trying to get back to the hotel, so we’re not late for the call.
My cheeks start to flame as we walk past reception and I’m so thankful that the receptionist that was working last night isn’t here this morning. The smell of toast coming from the hotel restaurant has me speeding up as my stomach starts to make loud noises. We have to wait for one of the servers to seat us which isn’t a good thing as other guests start to queue behind us and my stomach won’t shut the hell up.
“Damn Skye, that is loud.” Ryder chuckles beside me, but all that does is earn him a quick elbow to the gut, I smile when I hear ‘oomph’ as the wind gets knocked out of him, teaches his ass not to laugh at me. We finally get seated, and I drop my purse on the floor as the server takes our order and I do order quite a lot, my eyes dare him to comment on the amount of food, and I will kill him. He must realize that he’s close to dying as he changes the subject. “So, we’re really going to have a baby?”
“Yes, we’re really going to have a baby.” I reach for my purse as I have the ultrasound pictures in there. Once I find it, I pass them over to him, and he’s actually shocked as he sees them.
“Oh wow, there is a baby! But you don’t look like you’re pregnant.” His eyes rake over me, and there’s a whole lot of wonder in his eyes with a tiny bit of lust.
“Say that to my jeans. They no longer fit; I’m going to have to buy more while I’m here.” I grumble, not only do my favorite jeans no longer fit; they will never fit as when I put them on I broke them. The button popped off and the zipper got busted but to top all that, the seam broke. I’ve had those jeans for years; they were my lucky jeans that made my ass look fantastic.
His eyes are full of laughter, but he manages to keep a straight face. “When do you have another scan? Can I come?”
“Of course, it’ll be in a few weeks.” He hands me back the pictures, and I put all but one back into my purse, “This is for you, I was going to give it to you as soon as I told you, but it didn’t turn out how I wanted.” I’m going to kill Sabine when I get back; I can’t believe that she told him. She knew that I wanted to be the one to tell him.
“I know, but don’t blame Sabine. She was actually worried about you; she didn’t want you to be stressed.” The look he’s giving me tells me that Sabine isn’t the only one that doesn’t want me stressed.
“I know, but it’s something that you should have heard from me, and I hate that when you did hear it so did everyone else.” He doesn’t respond; he just stares at the ultrasound picture looking like he’s contemplating things. Our breakfast comes, and he still hasn’t said anything, so I leave him be, I need to concentrate on the ungodly amount of food I have in front of me.
I’m halfway through eating my breakfast when he finally talks, “Is it weird that I’m excited and nervous at the same time?” He sounds so serious, and I laugh, I actually laugh in his face. “What?” The hurt look he has stops me short, damn it! I didn’t mean to hurt him.
“No, it’s not weird. It took me almost a month to finally stop being
scared. I finally went to nervousness and excitement.” I smile at him, hoping that I’ve at least reassured him that he isn’t certifiable. He returns my smile, and we get back to eating although it appears my eyes are too big for my stomach as I’m so full and I’ve still got more than quarter of my food left on my plate. I’m going to have to bring it with me in some sort of doggy bag.
“Are you going to finish your toast?” Ryder asks pulling me from my dilemma of what I’m going to do; I hate wasting food. Growing up mom drilled into us that we had to finish everything on our plate, not doing so was the height of rudeness.
“No, help yourself.” I push the toast over to him, and he doesn’t hesitate to start eating them, I also push the plate that has the rest of my breakfast on toward him, and he finishes every single bit of food that I pushed in front of him. “Do you want more?” I can’t hide my amusement, where the hell does he put it, there’s hardly an ounce of fat on his body.
“No, I’m all set for the day now. Come on, let's get that train.” I bite my bottom lip as I try to hide my smile as he says train with so much disdain.
We start to walk toward the train station, and we’re both on edge. Ryder because he’s always on the lookout for threats and I’m on edge because I don’t know where today’s going to lead. I’m not stupid; I know that the chances of Addi being alive are low and getting lower with every hour that passes but the sister in me is hopeful, hopeful that she’s still alive and fighting. I don’t want her to give up hope that someone’s out there looking for her; I don’t want her to give up on life.
The train isn’t too bad, seems we’ve just missed rush hour, thankfully. We don’t manage to get seats, but it’s not as busy as I’ve seen it can be. Ryder stands behind me, and I know that it’s, so he can catch me if I were to fall, right now I’m so hypersensitive around him and having him so close to me is driving me crazy. I’m trying my best not to make the same mistake as before. Getting invested in him only ends up with me getting hurt and I can’t do that anymore, there are only two people I need to be invested in right now, Addi and my baby. Ryder is up to something, and I need to find out what the hell it is, I can’t have another sleepless night due to him messing with my head.
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