“Almost,” I put my gold sandals on and grab my purse before I walk up to Ryder and do something that I’ve wanted to do all day, I place my hand on his chest and reach up on my tiptoes and kiss Ryder. It was meant to be a peck hoping that he understands that I want to try with him, but as soon as my lips touch his I want so much more than a peck.
Ryder takes over the kiss and sets the pace, it feels fantastic, and I push my body into his as he puts his hand on the back of my neck, pulling my mouth closer to his so he can gain more access, I moan as the kiss gets harder. Ryder pulls away but brings his hand up to cup my chin, “Damn, what a way to start a date.” He caresses my cheek as I lick my lip, I can still taste him, and I want to taste more of him. “Let's get out of here before we do anything, there are things we need to talk about.” That sounds ominous, whatever he’s going to say it doesn’t look good.
It’s rush hour on the train, and we have to stand, Ryder keeps one arm tightly held around my waist as I hold onto the rail. I love how protective he is, even though I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. “You really do look amazing Skye.” He whispers into my ear sending shivers down my spine.
I lean into him, and he instantly pulls me closer, people who look at us will think we’re a couple and that’s something I’ve never thought would happen. It doesn’t take too long for us to get from Knightsbridge to Piccadilly Circus; the cool air hits us as soon as we get off the train. Ryder takes my hand as we weave around the people in the station.
As soon as we walk out onto the streets of Central London, I see sheer beauty. Everyone around us looks happy; I can’t help but smile at their faces. Although I can’t help but look at everyone who passes by wondering if they’re following us. I still can’t believe how stupid I was for not realizing that Callum planted a tracker on me. I want to find out everything there is about Callum and that band of misfits; there’s something odd about the situation. Why would they follow me? What could they possibly want from me?
“So where are we going?” I ask as we walk toward Leicester Square, he’s standing close to me, but we’re not touching, and I hate it. I’d love to hold his hand like all the couples around us, but I don’t think that will happen even though he is getting better at loosening up and being less standoffish.
“To dinner, I thought I told you that?” He’s being evasive, and he has that sexy smirk on his face.
“Umm yeah, you told me that you were bringing me to the most expensive restaurant in London.” I give him my sweetest smile and test the waters by grabbing hold of his hand and squeezing it.
He doesn’t hesitate in holding onto it, and my heart soars until his cell rings, and he lets go. Damn it! “Oscar.” Is how he answers the cell and I’m instantly on edge, what has Oscar found?
“Yes… Fuck, okay, where is he? Hmmm, check with MI5 and see what they know…. Shit, are you sure that’s where she is?” I hate only hearing one side of the conversation, especially one that I know is about Addi. I wait patiently for Ryder to end the call and fill me in on what’s happening because even though I shouldn’t, I’m thinking the worst right now.
“What’s happened?” I ask before he’s cells back in his pocket.
“Someone called the police; they saw a body being thrown into the Thames. The reported seeing a yellow Jeep at the scene and then speeding off. They’ve got the footage from it, and it’s Callum throwing a body into the Thames. I’ve asked them to check with MI5 to see what they know since they seem to know these fuckers best.” He’s gritting his teeth as he explains.
“Umm, you said are you sure that’s where she is? Who’s she?” I’m scared right now to hear his answer, the hardened look on his face means it was bad news.
“The footage shows a brunette woman being thrown into the river.” He says it as though I should be happy about it, “That's good news right, it's not Addison?” He has confusion written all over his face.
“Just before I left Addi dyed her hair, Brown.” Realization hits Ryder, and he takes my hand, I see that he’s thinking Addi’s dead and I hate it. “Until I know otherwise, I have faith that Addi’s alive.”
“Okay Skye, what do you want to do?” He doesn’t believe she’s alive and that kills me inside.
“Have they found the body?” He nods, so I stand up straight and say something I never thought I’d say, “I want to see the body. I have to know for sure if it’s Addi or not.” Why, why is this happening? I shouldn’t be going to look at a body to see if it’s my sister.
“I’ll see what I can do.” I know that he’ll make it happen, if he can’t he’ll get Maisey or Patrick to pull some strings and make it happen.
I need to call my dad and update him, I was meant to do it after the conference call, but I couldn’t, I needed to filter through everything first so that I can tell him something. Taking out my cell, I call Dad knowing this conversation is going to be really hard, how do you tell him that his baby girl could be dead? How do you tell him that you have no news and you're waiting to identify a body? I walk over to the steps on that are in the middle of Leicester Square, it gives a great vantage point of the cinema and the street.
“Skye, have you found her? Is she okay?” The pleading in his voice makes my heart beat faster. How can I do this? How can I break his heart?
“No Dad, I haven't found her yet. I’m trying my hardest; as soon as I find her I will call you immediately.” I look over to Ryder who's on his cell his eyes on me looking on with great interest.
“What have you found Skye? I know you found something; I can hear it in your voice. I may not have known you for the last few years, but you're still my daughter, and I can tell when you're hiding something. Is your sister dead?” I can hear mom talking in the background; dictating what he should say. God, can’t she just let him speak for himself? Why does she always have to try and take over the situation? Yet she won't even talk to me!
“Honestly Dad, I haven't found her. The house where she was staying, is now a crime scene. There's blood and an eyewitness who saw both Addi and Gloria being thrown into a vehicle. So far, I don't know where the girls were brought, but I do know who took them, and I promise you, dad, I won't stop until I get her back.” I feel like crying but I can't let myself do it I can't let myself break. My dad's counting on me and Addi’s counting on me.
“I know you will, I know you won't come home without her. But I also know you're pregnant and that you need to look after yourself and that grandbaby of mine. I also know that your husbands with you and by what everyone here says he will do anything he can to make sure you're okay.” I want to know who has been telling my dad things they shouldn't have? Who thought they had the right to tell my dad that I am married and pregnant? What is it with these people, why can't they just mind their own damn business?
“Skye you find that sister of yours and you bring her home right now! I’ve had enough of this, you were meant to find her! You were meant to bring her home, do you even care?” My mother’s bitter voice comes through, and I instantly recoil.
“I care, that's why I'm here, that's why I'm searching for her. What about you... do you care? Is that why you're at home doing nothing except dictating to everyone what they should be doing? I'm sick of this Mom; I made a mistake one that I paid for dearly. One that you've made me repeatedly relive because you can't forgive me. You don't like me that's fine, I couldn't care less but don't say that I don't care about my sister. Especially when I'm the one looking for her. I'm the one putting my life on the line to save her, to find her.” The anger that I feel is palpable, I’m shaking right now, and she's making me feel so bad that I haven't found Addi yet.
“How dare you! I've had to live with your stupid mistake; I’ve had to live with your selfishness. Because of you, my reputation is in tatters. Addi is all that matters to me, and I hate that her life is in your hands.” I ball my fists up, ugh, this woman, I can't call her my mother because she is anything but.
> I hear talking in the background and it seems like dad's taking the cell from her, I can hear him yelling at her. “How dare you talk to my daughter like that? How dare you talk to a pregnant woman like that? I've had enough of this Barbara, as soon as the girls are back you're going home, and I'm staying here. This marriage is a sham and has been for a long time, and I'm finally ending it today.”
Oh, shit, dad means business, he wants to divorce mom. This will ruin her reputation even more, she’ll be the talk of the town, and it can’t happen to a nicer person. I see movement in my peripheral vision, and I look up to see Ryder on his way over to me, he doesn't look happy in fact he looks damn mad! I wonder if it's from the expression on my face or from the call he just had?
“Skye, I am so sorry you had to listen to that. That you had to listen to her spew that garbage. Her venomous ways and her dictating reign and now, if she carries on with her shit, I'll be putting her on the first flight back home and she can find out about Addi via a call.” Dad is so angry right now, and I can't blame him, he's probably had to listen to her bitch for days. If it were me that had to listen to all her bullshit, I would have murdered her ass years ago. “I'll call you tomorrow when she's not around. I'm going out, and I need a drink, I can't be around this woman any longer than I have to. I love you Skye, and I'll talk to you soon. Take care of yourself and that grandbaby of mine and say hi to that husband of yours for me.” He doesn't wait for me to answer him; he just ends the call leaving me feeling empty.
I just stare at the cell in my hand, why is this happening to me; I thought when I found Addison again that maybe just maybe I may get my family back. Instead, it seems as though I've torn them further apart. I feel Ryder sit beside me and I can’t look at him, I made a mistake when I was seventeen, and I've never been able to forget it. Ryder takes my hand, and I finally look up at him, he has so much worry in those deep blue eyes, and I know he's wondering what my call was about. But right now, I want to know what his call was about because at this moment in time Addison is the only thing that matters. “So, can I see the body? Can we go and see if it's Addi?”
“I just finished talking to Patrick, if we go to St George's Hospital his friend will meet us there, and you can do an identification.” Ryder looks so mad, he doesn't want me to do this because he doesn’t want me to get hurt but what he doesn't realize that if I don't do this, I won't be able to stop wondering if it's her. I won't be able to function unless I know the truth, there's only one option, and that's to see the body.
“Where is St George's Hospital? I've never heard of it, and why are we going to a hospital I thought whoever it was had died”? I'm so confused right now. Usually, if someone's died in suspicious circumstances, the police carry out a post-mortem. Would they be doing that in the hospital?
Ryder stands and looks down at me so much worry in his eyes that I have to look away. “The hospital is close to where Addison was staying, so we better get going because Patrick's friend is waiting for us.” he reaches out and takes my hand as he helps me off of steps, he doesn't let go of my hand as we walk back to the train station. I’m so scared right now but I decide but the best thing to do right now is focus on something else. “Are you okay? The conversation that you were having seemed pretty intense.”
“I'm okay, families eh can't live with them can't live without them. So, what was it that you wanted to talk about? Our date kind of got hijacked but we have plenty of time to talk on the way to the hospital. So, what's up?” His face goes deathly pale causing me to wonder what the hell this conversation is going to be about.
Chapter Fifteen
Ryder
Shit, she wants to know what I wanted to talk about; even though I have built myself up for this moment I don't think that this is the time. How do you tell your wife that you're the reason that your mom and your ex-girlfriend are dead? How do tell your wife that you killed them and expect her to be ok with it? “It's ok we can talk about it another time, let's just focus on going to the hospital.”
“If that's what you want.” The disappointment is clear to hear, and I’m being a chickenshit, I need to tell her, but this could hurt her even more than she’s hurting now.
“The car crash that killed my mom was also the crash that killed Rachel.” She comes to a halt and grabs hold of my arm to stop me walking. “I killed them. I’m a murderer.” There I’ve said it; she knows the truth now.
“Bullshit.”
I look at her, and instead of seeing horror she looks pissed, “What do you mean bullshit?”
“You’re not a murderer Ryder, I know you, and I know how much your mom’s death affected you, so I know that you never meant to kill them.” Her faith in me is something I’ve only imagined especially after I mistreated her. “Ry, what happened?”
“It was graduation night, and I was so fucking stupid.” Just thinking back to that night is a fucking nightmare, “Mom and dad were so happy and proud, and I’d graduated high school and had enlisted. So, after dinner, they invited Rachel back to the house for a little celebration.”
“But you’d already found out that she was cheating on you, surely you didn’t let her go back to your house?” The confusion and anger on her face told me I’m fucking this story up. “Ryder, what the hell happened?”
“I was completely different back then; my parents sacrificed a lot for me. They weren’t rich, and they worked hard to make sure I had everything I wanted. I knew how hard they worked, and I was so grateful to them, so I did what they wanted, and I let Rachel come back. I finally lost my shit while she was at the house, trying to seduce me into bed and I flipped, I lost my temper and threw her out of the house.” Just remembering it makes me ball my fists up, I wanted to punch something then, and I want to punch something now.
“Did you tell her you found out that she was cheating on you?” Skye wants to know everything, and I can’t blame her, I’ve been closed up tight for a long time and in doing so, I hurt the person who means the most to me.
“Yeah and she tried to deny it, hell she flipped out on me for eavesdropping on her. She went crazy! So, I had to get her out of the house, but mom was determined to come with us. I think she was worried I might kill Rachel, turns out I did.” We start walking again, and I know that it’s better to tell her it all now than wait and drag this all out. I remember that night, so clearly; I replay it in my mind as I explain it to Skye.
“Ryder honey, let’s just get into the car and drive Rachel home.” The pleading in mom’s tone is something I’m not accustomed to; she never has to beg or plead with me. I’d do anything to make my parents happy and proud; it’s the least I could do. They’ve done everything they could for me, and they’ve always done it with a smile on their faces. “I’ll drive if you want?”
“It’s okay mom; I’m okay to drive. Let's just get her home; I can't bear to be around her anymore.” My tone is clipped, and I see Rachael recoil as if I’ve slapped her.
“Okay, Ryder let’s get her home. I reckon her parents are dying to see her; it’s not every day your daughter graduates.” My mom’s being as polite as she always is, she’d never be mean or nasty to anyone, but she won’t look at Rachel, and every time Rachel edges closer to her my mom moves closer to the door.
“Yes, Mrs. Marshall, my parents are proud of me. I know that they would have come to dinner it’s just that they didn’t have anyone to babysit Marline.” Rachel tells my mom with a huge smile.
I can’t help myself; I walk past her just as I say, “Hmm, I bet they are proud knowing their daughter is a cheating whore.”
“Ryder Marshall! You do not talk to a woman like that ever!” Mom yells just as I leave my room and walk down the stairs. “Ryder, I’m talking to you!”
I ignore her and continue out of the house, hating myself for letting Rachel get to me so much. I’ve never spoken been so disrespectfully to my mom before, and I know that she’s disappointed in me, and so is my dad, but I don’t regret ca
lling her a whore because she doesn’t give a fuck that she’s a cheating bitch. I wait for mom and Rachel in my car, wanting to get Rachel home as soon as possible, the longer she’s in my house the more suspicious I’m getting of her. Finally, they both come out of the house, neither one of them looking happy.
The car ride is silent, and I’m okay with that, I don’t want to listen to Rachel and her bullshit, and I don’t want mom to have to listen to it either. But the silence doesn’t last much longer as I get fifteen minutes into the car journey and Rachel starts to try and explain what the hell she was thinking, but I don’t want to listen to it, so I turn on the car radio.
“Childish much?” Rachel scoffs and I bite my tongue not wanting to argue with her in front of my mom. My mom raised me to be respectful to everyone especially women and the way I’m feeling I’ll be downright disrespectful to her.
“Don’t get him all worked up; you’re poking the bear. I know my Ryder, he’s calm on the outside, but on the inside, he’s holding in the anger, and he’ll explode if prodded enough.” Mom tries to get Rachel to shut the hell up.
“He won’t listen to me; he doesn’t understand!” Rachel screams and I want to tell her to shut the hell up.
“We’re in an enclosed space; there’s no need to shout. What doesn’t he understand?” I know my mom’s only trying to calm her down, but she really shouldn’t be getting involved.
“I was lonely, and Will was just there you know. I was so sick of hearing about Ryder going off and joining the army! He never once thought of me! It happened once and then it kind of escalated.” That’s a bullshit excuse if I ever heard one.
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