“I’m hungry.” She’s not the only one, I hear Ryder’s stomach rumbling just a few minutes ago, and I want Mickey D’s.
“Thank god, I’m going to get some food. Does anyone else want something?” Ryder asks, looking around the room.
“McDonalds please.” I wave my hand like a child.
“Ooh, yeah. Me too.” Addi says waving her hand too.
“Sounds good to me!” Winter says with a shrug, she’s been really quiet and we’ve all been sneaking glances at her, I feel bad that we expect her to break down but it’s because we’ve all shot someone, and the first time stays with you.
“McDonald's it is,” Ryder says with disgust. “Text me what everyone wants. I won’t be long.” He walks over to me giving me a chaste kiss on the lips before he leaves.
Everyone gave me their order, and I texted it to Ryder, I hope that he gets something too, I don't understand his aversion to McDonald's, but he needs to eat.
“I’m going to get changed; I’m going to need something comfortable to wear. These shoes are killing me,” Maisey takes her heels off and rubs the sole of her foot before she leaves too, she’s quickly followed by Will, Patrick, Sam, and Winter leaving Addi and me alone.
“You doing okay?” She shrugs, and she still looks lost. I walk over to the bed and lie beside her, “You know that you don’t have to go through this alone?”
She scoffs at me, “What do you know about it?”
“My friend died while we were in Afghanistan, we all watched him dying in front of us, and there wasn't one thing any of us could do to save him.” Her eyes widen at my admission, “It was one of the worst experiences of my life, Smithy was the life of all of us, and he didn’t deserve to die. So yeah, I know about it, Smithy may not have been my best friend, but he was more than that, he was my brother.” Just talking about this makes me sad; his death is something I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover from.
“Why couldn’t you save him?” There’s no disgust in her voice just worry and curiosity.
“We were tied up, we couldn’t help him.” She gasps, and I really don’t want to get into this, “Trust me, you don’t have to go through this alone.”
She nods, her eyes still red and puffy, “It’s not fair, she did nothing wrong.”
“I know, and if we cherish every memory, we ever had with them. They are now a part of us and always will be.” I doubt that’s any comfort to her, it sure wasn’t when Oscar told me that. I wanted to punch him or kick him in the balls. After Smithy’s funeral I holed up in my house for a week, I couldn’t face anyone, I didn’t have it in me anymore to pretend that I was okay when I wasn’t. Everyone thinks that I’m this badass bitch that kicks ass and takes names and that is part of who I am. The other part is that I’m a woman who loves her family and friends and I hurt for them, and when things get too much, I hide just like I did when things with Ryder got complicated. I couldn’t deal, and I hid from him.
“When can I go home?” Her eyes are closing, she needs to sleep, and I doubt she’s slept much in the past few days.
“Soon, go to sleep.” Her eyes widen in horror, and she tries to sit up. “Sssh,” I place my hand on her as though she’s a child, “Go to sleep, you’re safe here, I won’t let anything happen to you and Ryder will be back soon.” At the mention of Ryder being back soon, she relaxes, and it hurts knowing that I’m as capable of protecting her as much as Ryder is but because I’m not six foot plus and male I’m not the one anyone trusts to protect them. I push the hurt back and plaster a smile on my face, “Sleep.” I tell her and lie down beside her, she closes her eyes and I reach over and take hold of her hand.
“Thank you for saving me Skye,” Her voice is hoarse and low, but I hear it, and I give her hand a squeeze, letting her know that I’m here no matter what. “Love you, sis.” She mumbles, and I know that she’ll be asleep in the next few minutes. I close my eyes and listen to her steady breathing.
I feel someone enter the room and my eyes open as I tense, my nostrils fill with the smell of Ryder’s cologne and the smell of food and I instantly relax. I stretch as I get up from the bed, I see that he has a bag of food and my stomach starts to rumble. Damn, I’m hungry. I walk toward him with a smile, the smell of the food getting stronger the closer I get to him. “Hey, Ry,”
His eyebrows knit together, “Hey Baby, I don’t think you’ve been so happy to see me before.” He’s got that shit-eating grin on his face which quickly disappears when I snatch the bag from his hands. “Of course, you were happy to see the food,” he grumbles, and I smile. “How is she?”
“Better now your here,” I mumble as I make my way to the sofa, the smell of this food is delicious. When I open the bag, I realize there’s only food here for me, Addi, and Ryder. “Where’s everyone else's food? Did you forget to get them something?” I bite into a fry and moan as I taste the saltiness and the freshness of it.
“No, I gave them their food before I came in. I thought you and Addison could do with the quietness.” He can be extremely thoughtful, “What did you mean when you said she’s better now that I’m here.”
I sigh as I sit back into the sofa, the large fries and burger on my lap, “She relaxed when I told her that you would be here. I’m just hormonal, ignore me.” I eat some more fries, and I wonder if I should wake Addi up, so she can have something to eat, God knows the last time she had a decent meal.
“Yeah and I’m Father Christmas.” I look up at him, he’s making jokes? Damn, he’s different, and I realize it’s because he’s comfortable around me. He’s able to be himself without any judgment. He comes and sits beside me, “What’s going on Skye?”
“She was scared, and I told her that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.” He looks at me, he’s concerned, and I know that I’m blowing things out of proportion, “She relaxed when I told her that you would be here.” Saying it out loud makes it sound so childish.
“She’s your sister; she didn’t mean it like that. I found her, she thinks of me as a safety net.” He reaches over and tries to nab one of my fries but he’s too slow, I slap his hand away. “Hey, sharing is caring!”
“Yeah and I’m already sharing with your baby, so no, get your own.” I shove a fry into my mouth, exaggerating chewing. His eyes go soft at the mention of my sharing with our baby.
“Hmm, good point.” His eyes glued to my stomach, “Can you feel him move yet?”
“Him? I’m sorry when the hell did you decide that we’re having a boy?”
He looks me dead in the eyes, “Yeah baby, we’re having a boy. We can’t have a girl; I’d end up in prison. If that happens, who’s going to keep all the fucking hormone ridden assholes away?” His face is red, and it looks as though he’s about to pop a blood vessel.
“How about we cross that bridge when we come to it?” He nods looking relieved, “Want to know what’s funny?” He tilts his head to the side waiting for me to continue, “When I found out I was pregnant, I thought you’d either reject the two of us, or you’d demand that we be together for the baby’s sake. That we wouldn’t be a couple, we’d be one of those stupid married couples that are only together because of the baby.” How wrong I was, he’s shown me how much he really does love me.
“You must think I’m a fucking asshole. Fuck Skye, I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”
“What’s not to love?” I quip as I throw another fry into my mouth.
“Classy Skye.” At least he’s smiling, this food is delicious, I can’t stop eating, I’m pretty sure I’m eating Addi’s fries now too. “You’re moving in with me when we go home.” I suck in a sharp breath of air, in doing so I suck the fry that I was chewing into my throat and start to splutter. “Geez Skye, what the fuck?”
I bat his hands away that are trying to help me, “Move in with you?” Is he crazy? I try and even my breathing but it’s not working, I’m freaking the hell out, why would I want to move in with h
im? We’ve barely just reconnected.
“Yes.” He’s acting as though this is normal.
“No,” I say in horror. “Do you honestly believe that it would be a good idea?” I’m in shock right now.
“Yes, you’re my wife, and you’re carrying my baby. What did you think was going to happen? We live in separate homes?” He’s angry at me?
“Ry, you do realize that up until a few days ago we weren’t even a couple. We weren’t even talking! What the hell is going through your damn mind? I understand that I’m pregnant and that it’s your baby too, but for the love of God, can we go slow?” I don’t want this to turn into an argument, but if he continues with his caveman routine, I’ll give him one.
“How the hell has me telling you you’re moving in with me turn into a fucking argument. What the hell do you want from me, Skye?” He’s agitated, and I sigh, he really doesn’t understand what he’s doing wrong. I move closer to him, and he lifts me into his lap. “You are confusing!”
“I want you to listen to me, I love you Ry!” He smiles, his eyes so bright that I lean up and kiss his lips, pulling away before it gets further. “But I need this to slow down. I’m so happy right now, Addi’s safe and I finally have you.”
He leans down and captures my lips; the warmth of his lips feels so good against mine. I reach up and caress his face lovingly, and he kisses me freely. When he pulls back, there’s heat in his eyes which causes me to push my legs together trying my hardest to stop the ache building. Having him kiss me like that has sent my hormones into overdrive. “I can do slow.” He smirks at me, and I have a feeling he’s up to something.
“Really?” I ask in disbelief, there’s nothing about Ryder that says slow.
“For you, I’d do anything.” Damn, that pulls at my heartstrings. This man has a power over me that he doesn’t even know. I curl up against him and just lay in his arms contented.
“I love you, Skye,” I hear him say as I drift off to sleep in his arms.
“You may be called for a further statement, but that is just standard procedure. Thank you for your time Miss Taylor and I’m sorry for your loss.” Iain says to Addi, and I watch as she forces back the tears, she’s hurting so much right now, and all I want to do is take away her pain. I told the cops that I shot him, Will and Winter backed me up, and I didn’t want Winter to have to retell it let alone relive it. She’s been quiet, and Sam says she’s dealing with it okay.
“Does this mean that we can go home?” She is so vulnerable right now. At her voice Will’s eyes light up, as they have every time he sees her. I’m not the only one to notice it, Maisey has too, she’s wondering how long it will be before they get together. I don’t think they will, Ryder will go crazy.
“Yes Miss Taylor, you can go home.” He shakes her hand and quickly moves toward Sam, probably wanting an escape just in case she cries, but I know that him telling her that we’re all able to go home has made her a tiny bit happy.
“Fucking finally.” Ryder bitches behind me he’s dying to get home too. Only Henry’s at the office and Ryder is a control freak that hates delegating.
“Hush you, have you eaten yet?” I tease, he’s like a child. You need to check that his moodiness isn’t due to lack of food.
“Not yet, the sooner he leaves, the sooner we can get food. You’ve not eaten yet either.” He gives me a disapproving look which I ignore. He looks around at the room, “How long is it going to take you to pack?”
“An hour tops. Why?” I look around the room, it’s not as messy as it was, but to make sure I have everything is going to take the longest.
“Oscar’s booking us on the next flight out of here. I’m going to get my bag, then I’ll help you pack and then we can get something to eat.” That’s all he thinks about is food, where the hell does he put it all? He leaves my room, and I’m wondering why my room became the meeting point? Why couldn’t Ryder’s or Oscars? Right now, Sam and Iain are having a hushed conversation as Addi sits on the sofa looking uncomfortable.
“Help me pack?” I plead with Addi as I walk over to her; I bat my eyelids hoping to get a smile out of her. I get a half-assed one, but nonetheless, it’s a smile.
“Sure, want me to do the bathroom?” She doesn’t even wait for me to respond before she’s at the door to the bathroom, she looks back at me, “Do you know what time the flight is?”
I shake my head and watch as her shoulders slump, “Ryder did say he was getting us on the first available flight out. We’ll be home soon okay?” She doesn’t say anything as she walks into the bathroom. I’m at a loss; I don’t know how to help her. Hopefully, going home and seeing mom and dad will help her heal a bit. Although that’s one thing, I’m not looking forward to, seeing my mom again.
It takes me and Addi less than thirty minutes to have everything packed and ready to go, thankfully I didn’t bring too much with me otherwise it would have taken a hell of a lot longer than it did. I don’t know where Ryder disappeared too, he said he was going to pack, but he’s still not back yet. Thankfully Sam and Iain left shortly after I started packing; after I gave Sam the stink eye for the sharp intake of breath he took when I lifted my suitcase. “Why are you so hesitant about moving in with Ryder?” Addi asks as I search through my purse for my passport. My head snaps up at her question, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”
“Liar, you could have let us know that you were awake.”
She doesn’t even look apologetic, “So, why are you not moving in with him?”
“I want to take things slow. Having this baby is a huge commitment for the both of us, and I know that he loves me, and I love him…”
“So what’s the problem? You’re married, you’re having a baby, and you’re in love with each other. What more do you want?” She interrupts me, and I know what she’s saying is right, but there’s more to it than that. “Or is it that you don’t trust him not to break your heart again?” Fuck, right to the heart of the matter, she really needs to stay out of my brain. “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re worried that he’s going to break your heart and if he does it’s going to hurt even more than it did the last time.”
“Get out of my head Addi, leave it alone okay?” I don’t want to talk about it, “I’m trying okay? I’m trying to move past that hurt, but I haven’t had the time to internalize everything. I’ve been busy!” I snap at her, “We’ve only been together for five minutes. It’s going to take some time to build that trust that a healthy relationship needs and until I have that trust we’ll be taking things slow.”
“There she is!” She has a smile on her face, and I’m confused as to what the hell she’s talking about, “There’s my kickass big sister. She never backs down for anyone.” Her speech takes me by surprise as does her throwing her body at me and hugging me.
“Flight leaves in three hours, are you packed and ready to go?” Ryder’s voice makes us jump apart, and I nod, “Everyone’s in the hall waiting, we’ll get food at the airport.”
Addi rushes to my bag and wheels it out of the room, leaving Ryder and me alone. “Were you here long?” I wonder if he heard what I said.
“Not really, are you ready?” I grab my purse of the sofa and walk towards him, as soon as I’m in arm's length of him he grabs me and pulls me against his hard, toned body. “I’m going to build that trust again baby. Now let’s go home.” Hearing those words leave his lips means everything.
“Let’s go home.” I take hold of his hand, and we leave the hotel room.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ryder
“You’re awfully quiet, what’s going on?” Skye asks the question she’s been wanting to ask for the past three hours. Whose bright idea was it to drive across State? Oh yeah, that would be mine, I’m seriously regretting it. “Ry, are you okay?”
I look over at her and those feelings I always get when I see her absentmindedly stroking her bump come to the surface; protectiveness, love and awe. I’m in
awe of her; she’s absolutely beautiful when pregnant and so graceful. It’s been three and a half months since we’ve come home from London and each day her body changes slightly, I love finding her new curves. I reach over and take her hand in mine, “It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.” I tell her honestly, things between us have been going from strength to strength. She finally moved in with me last week, I managed to build that trust. There was no way I wasn’t going to, she’s my everything, and it’s about time the world fucking knows it.
“He’s your dad Ry, he’s going to be so happy to see you. He loves you.”
“I abandoned him Skye, his wife just died, and I left.”
She huffs, “No, you didn’t abandon him; you had just lost your mom Ry! He understands that.” She squeezes my hand, “Ry, he doesn’t hate you; I bet that he’s missed you. Parents love their kids Ry.”
“Bullshit, some parents shouldn’t be parents.” I give her ‘the look’, she’s full of shit, “Your mom is a bitch and doesn’t love anyone except for herself.” That woman is a fucking bitch, she’s lucky she’s a damn lady otherwise she’d have been knocked out.
“Why the hell am I so nervous?” Addison asks Skye as we drive back to Skye’s house.
“Don’t be nervous, mom and dad are waiting for you. They’ve been so worried, and I think they need to see you to believe that you’re okay.” Addi’s not the only one that’s nervous, Skye’s dreading seeing her mom again. She’s told me everything that happened. From her being kicked out of her home for sleeping with her boss and that her mom or dad never tried to get in contact with her after that. That seeing them show up at her house when Addison went missing was the first time she’d seen them since that night.
“I suppose you’re right.” Addison grumbles from the back seat, “So where do you live Ryder?”
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