Catrin pulled away. “I meant hostage. I do not understand why you support the Catuvellauni instead of my father. He is ally to Rome. My father served in the Roman legion and is more Roman than Cunobelin.”
Marcellus contained his smirk, now thinking back to the interrogation at breakfast. He was now sure the queen had instructed Catrin to garner more insight about Roman politics from him. He decided to play her game. “Your father is no more Roman than I am a Briton.”
Catrin seemed puzzled. “What is Briton? My father is Cantiaci, my mother Regni.”
“Do you not think of yourself as Britons, a united people?”
Catrin regarded Marcellus for a moment. “No, we belong to different tribes.”
“Is that how you view me, like them?”
“Them?”
“The Catuvellauni … Cunobelin, Marrock.”
Catrin grimaced. “No, you are from a great empire across the sea.”
“Yet, you saved me as if I were one of your people.”
Appearing flustered, Catrin shook her head. “I saved you because we honor our truces with enemies. My only purpose was to stop a conflict.”
“I am not the enemy here,” Marcellus said emphatically. “The only reason I am here is to accompany my father to address the emperor’s concerns about your brother’s claim to the throne.”
Catrin’s eyes grew big. “Marrock is not my brother! We have the same father, but different mothers.”
The venomous hate in her voice spiked Marcellus’s interest. He decided to dig deeper. “What did Marrock do to make your father banish him?”
Catrin’s jaw tensed. “I do not want to talk about this!”
Now that Marcellus had lifted the lid off Pandora’s box—Catrin’s family secrets—he probed harder. “Did Marrock challenge your father?”
Not answering, Catrin turned away, but he grabbed her arm to halt her. “Did he harm someone in your family?”
Catrin struggled against his restraint, but he held on tighter.
“Let me go!” she demanded.
He pressed further. “Did Marrock do something to you?”
Catrin froze, her face becoming pallid with horror.
“Did he hurt you?” Marcellus asked more bluntly than he intended. When her eyes began glistening with swelling tears, Marcellus felt like a scoundrel. The vulnerability in her beautiful eyes reached out to him for solace. He raised her chin and said softly, “You never answered me. Is there more you feel about me?”
Catrin’s gaze met his. “More?”
Breathing harder, he pulled her closer and deftly unsheathed the sword at her side and dropped it on the ground. When he traced the curvature of her mouth with a forefinger, she closed her eyes and parted lips, inviting him for a taste. He held her face firmly between his hands and whispered, “Sweet Venus, you are so beautiful.”
No longer able to resist this radiant goddess, Marcellus pressed his lips on hers. Desire consuming him, he embraced Catrin and lifted her slightly off the ground. With lips locked on hers, he leaned her against a giant oak, holding her arms up against the trunk. For a mere second of mercy, he let go of the kiss, but when she gasped for air, he saw the rapture on her face, further heightening his arousal. He again devoured her with a kiss, nibbling at her lips and coaxing them open for his tongue to thrust through. The wetness of his tongue sliding over hers was driving him crazy, the swaying of her hips in a slow moving dance against him driving him to the precipice. An overpowering delirium took control of him. His heart pounding harder, he was ready to possess Catrin—body and soul.
Or so he thought.
18
Joining of Souls
Conflicting emotions began to whirl inside Catrin—passion, anger, and fear. Her hand shook and she lowered the blade.
Catrin still reeled from the first kiss as Marcellus nibbled at her earlobe. Though she had dreamt of his kiss the previous night, she could never have imagined the throbbing delight of his lips pressed against hers, eliciting pleasurable tingles. Instinctively, she swayed her hips into him and tilted her head sideways, so he could leave a trail of light kisses down her neck.
He then pulled her to the ground with him and pinned her arms down on the grassy tufts. A breath clutched in her throat when she strangely felt herself floating into him. It was as if she was losing control to his thoughts, his sexual desire steering hers. Raw, carnal sensations danced over her body as his fingers and mouth performed their epicurean delight. Yet, the emotions she felt bewildered and frightened her. It was as though she had intruded in his mind—his thoughts, memories, and emotions intermixed with hers.
Then suddenly in her mind’s eye, the image of a Roman noblewoman projected on what looked like rippling black fluid. Standing in front of this woman was Marcellus at a younger age. He was naked, posed like a statue with one arm extended forward with the other stiff at his side. The woman, attired in fiery-colored garments, looked like a voyeur as she circled him, her ringed fingers crawling like spider legs over his shoulders, down his chest, and to his groin. She stroked his erection with one hand and the long nails of the other left thin lines of blood on his chest.
Repulsed, Catrin then saw her image appear next to him. She scolded, “Marcellus, what are you doing with that woman?”
He had a shocked look on his face. “How did you get in here?”
A light flashed in Catrin’s mind, and she again found herself hot and sweaty in the real world underneath Marcellus. She felt his body tense, and then his heavy weight lifted off her.
A panicked breath hitched in her throat. What just happened to me?
Even though she had never kissed a man before, her desire had matched his. Instinctively, she knew how to arouse him. More unsettling, she had dredged out a dark secret from the recesses of his memory, warning her not to take the next step with him.
When her dizziness settling, she focused on Marcellus, sitting next to her. He gazed vacantly in the distance, rejection etched over his face. He sighed and somberly said, “When you slept with me last night, it took all my strength not to touch you. Yet today, I was so taken by you, that…that…” His eyes dropped and he said with a cracked voice, “Something happened I can’t explain. It was like…you were in my mind.”
Catrin abruptly sat up. “What did you see?”
Marcellus’s eyes widened. “You said something … and I knew then, it was not right for us … for me to take your innocence.”
Catrin knew then, she had caught a glimpse of his past with an older Roman lover who had deeply affected him. At first she hesitated talking about it, uneasy that she had ventured into his dark memory of a tryst with an older woman. When Marcellus stared at her with anguished confusion, she felt the same confusion for him. How could she withhold that she had merged her thoughts with him?
She couldn’t.
Taking a deep breath, she knelt before Marcellus and clasped his hands. “I need to tell you something. You asked if the gods talk to me …” She swallowed to release the constriction in her throat. “I sometimes have visions of the past … other lifetimes, the future. But this is the first time that somebody else saw exactly what I did when I had a vision.”
Marcellus hardened his stare. “What exactly did you see?”
“An older woman awaits your return back in Rome.”
“How do you know this?”
“I could see her image inside your mind.”
Marcellus recoiled and bounced to his feet. “Dark gods beneath me! What are you? A sorceress? Did you bewitch me? Cast a spell to make me reveal this?”
Taken aback by his accusation, Catrin said, “Please do not be angry with me. Give me a chance to explain.”
Marcellus shot a burning glare. “Explain what, that your father knew exactly what he was doing when he chose you, his ultimate weapon, to pry out my seedy past
. I knew, by the way you kissed me, that you weren’t a virgin. Tell me, Catrin, am I not right?”
The cruel comment stabbed at Catrin’s heart. She tore her eyes away and chastised herself for being a fool for placing so much trust in an enemy and showing her vulnerability. Marcellus was nothing more than a hostage and that was how she should have treated him. His only worth was the information she could pry out of him, as her father mandated. She would not show any weakness to him. She scowled at Marcellus. Make no mistake, I am in command here. Her eyes then shifted to the sword on the ground.
She quickly pushed herself up, scooped the weapon into her hand, and extended the blade toward his chest. She growled, “Careful, Roman, what you say or do to me.”
Marcellus’s mouth flung open. “Gods! Easy, Catrin! You’re not planning to use that weapon on me, are you?”
“If need be,” she said, pressing the sword tip harder into his chest.
Eyes fixed on Catrin, Marcellus said, “You confuse me. Are you a warrior or a sorceress?”
She gave a bewildered look and momentarily released the tension on the sword. “What?”
“You wield that weapon like a warrior, but you captured my heart with your magic,” Marcellus said without any inflection of fear in his voice. “What are you?”
“Neither!”
“Then what?”
Conflicting emotions began to whirl inside Catrin—passion, anger, and fear. Her hand shook and she lowered the blade. The words gushed from her soul. “I am a woman, and what I feel for you is real, not magic. I can sense what you feel, but I cannot control your emotions. What I feel … is consuming me—”
Sunlight suddenly broke through the overhanging branches and showered Marcellus in golden light. His crystal-blue eyes beckoned her to pierce through his veil of hidden secrets to find the truth. Catrin recalled her mother’s words. You can judge a person through the eyes. If you look deeply enough, you can see into his soul. She felt a powerful connection to him she could not understand. She perceived he was loyal and trustworthy to those he loved, and could trust him. A passing cloud cloaked the sun and the forest darkened.
Marcellus’s eyes filled with wonderment. “Did you see that, too? Did you cast another spell on me?”
A warm glow suffused Catrin’s face. “Not a spell … something spiritual. Last night, I felt safe with you and wanted to know more about you than anyone in my kingdom—your desires, your secrets. Just now, your soul joined mine. I have only experienced this with my raven.”
Marcellus chuckled. “Mmm … I have never heard of love described that way. Quite profound. Yet, I’m not sure if I like competing with a raven for your affection.”
Flushed with embarrassment, Catrin said, “No, it is different … yet similar. It is hard for me to explain how souls join.”
Marcellus walked slowly toward her and lowered his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Would you please give me that sword before we go any further. It is making me nervous.”
When he reached for the sword, she relinquished the weapon to him. He sheathed the sword into the scabbard at her side and exhaled an exaggerated sigh of relief. “That is better, though I have to admit it was quite thrilling to have a beautiful warrior pull a sword on me.”
Catrin didn’t know how to take his comment. “Are you making fun of me?”
“No … well, yes,” Marcellus said with a glint in his eyes and mischievous smile. “I never thought you would draw a sword on me like that. You had me worried, I must admit. You said that you wanted to know me better. Let us start over again and talk. You need to trust me, though, and keep that sword sheathed.”
“Yes, I do trust you.” She quirked a smile. “I should not, but I do.”
Marcellus burst out in a grin. “Good … now that I know about your abilities as an oracle, I am curious to know what else you know about me by looking into my eyes.”
More at ease, Catrin described the images she observed on the surface of his blue eyes. “I see a wild stallion that wants to run free. You must have been born with a horse spirit. That is why working with horses brings you so much joy, and why my father’s stallion took a liking to you, yet I sense someone is trying to rein you in and break your spirit.”
A lump formed in Marcellus’s throat. “That is my father. What did you see in your vision about the noblewoman?”
Catrin pictured the scene in her mind as she described it, “I saw you standing naked in front of a woman dressed in fabric that swirled around her like a flame. You stood like a statue, very stiff and hard. She then slid her hand down you.” A warm blush spread across her face when she looked at his groin.
Marcellus winced. “What did this woman look like?”
“She had hooded dark eyes with black hair coiled on her head,” Catrin said with disdain. “Her long fingers crawled all over you like a spider spinning its web.”
“What meaning did you take from this vision?”
“This woman has a special hold on you. What is her name?”
“Eliana.”
A twinge of jealousy struck at Catrin, and she asked bluntly, “Do you love her?”
Marcellus paused. “She is married to a shriveled old man. I give her company—that is all.”
“But do you love her?”
“I do not want to talk about her,” Marcellus snapped.
“I want to talk about her,” Catrin said sharply. “I sense she might harm you. Her husband is powerful. If he finds out about your affair, he could destroy you and your family.”
Marcellus’s jaw tightened. “What are you planning to do with this information?”
“What will you do with your knowledge about my sister and Belinus?”
“I thought we agreed to trust each other,” Marcellus said.
Catrin stepped up to Marcellus and looked him in the eye. “If you trust me, you would tell me about your … woman. I promise not to tell anyone.”
Marcellus regarded her for a moment. “Fair enough. If you keep my secret, I promise to keep yours. Still, I don’t want to talk about Eliana.”
Catrin stubbornly asked again, “Do you love her?”
“Why does it matter to you?”
“I am not sure if I should let you kiss me if you love that woman.”
Marcellus grinned. “Are you jealous?”
Catrin stammered. “No … maybe. Yes. I did not like the way she looked at you in the vision. She clawed you like a cat. And … and …” The fiery glimmer in his eyes distracted her when he leaned closer.
“You have nothing to worry about,” he reassured her.
“You must love Eliana if you are still with her,” Catrin said, throat constricted with conflicted emotions.
“I would not call it love,” Marcellus asserted. “She makes no difference about how I feel about you.”
“Yet you fear you will destroy my innocence as Eliana destroyed yours. I want to know why.”
Marcellus quieted for a moment, then said in a subdued voice, “I swear you can see into my very soul. Indeed, you must be an oracle. Nothing gets past you. All right, I will tell you. When I moved from Gaul to Rome, I was a lonely gangling boy in the midst of refinery and snobbery of the upper echelon. I felt isolated until my mother introduced me to Eliana when I was fifteen, about your age. Eliana showered me with compliments and invited me to her villa with the promise of companionship. It turned into something much darker …”
He swallowed hard and gazed at Catrin. “Why do you pull at me so? When I am with you, I am fifteen again and rediscovering the joy of being with a woman for the first time. You are so kind, genuine, yet fearless—a true companion I never had. I don’t want you to lose any of those qualities because of me. I’m older and know how to please a woman. That is what Eliana taught me, but she did not teach me about—” Marcellus looked away, swallowing hard. “I’ve sai
d too much.”
Catrin did not understand Eliana’s hold on Marcellus, but sensed he had been damaged by the relationship. “Be careful, Marcellus,” she warned. “This woman is a venomous snake who could strike you if you ever left her.”
Marcellus looked at her with languished eyes. “Please, let us not talk about this anymore. You have forced me to run a gauntlet by sharing my dark secret. It is something that I never want to speak of again.”
Catrin impulsively grabbed his hand. “What about us?”
“Us?”
“Can there be more between us than what you had with Eliana,” Catrin said, searching his eyes.
“I suppose … that is possible.” Marcellus smiled. “We can get to know each other better. You enjoy riding horses, the same as me. Perhaps, we can find some other activities we both like. Do you like to hunt?”
“Yes, I like to hunt.” Catrin beamed. “We can be friends, can’t we?”
“Yes, when I shared my secret, you showed me how to find my way back.”
Though Catrin didn’t understand what Marcellus meant, unbridled emotion overcame her and she kissed him.
He pulled back, surprised. “I thought you didn’t want to kiss me again.”
She tilted her head sideways and smiled. “I want you to kiss me like you did before.”
Marcellus pulled her into his arms and gently covered her lips with his. Unlike before, the kiss was gentle and undemanding, but too short. He released the kiss and reached for her hand.
“Let us go find this special place that you wanted to show me.”
19
Gateway of Skulls
At eye level, he found his most precious skull wrapped in white linen. He carefully pulled it out, and unraveled the fabric from the cranial bone.
The meeting to be held with the Roman envoys in two days weighed heavily in Marrock’s mind. After his initial meeting with Senator Lucius Antonius, he had been excluded from all mediations among Cunobelin, the Roman envoy, and his father, King Amren. Marrock seethed that his father-in-law, Cunobelin, might concede to Amren’s demands that he be denied the Cantiaci kingdom. The throbbing pain from his scar-pitted face robbed him of sleep. The odor of turnips and beets, now boiling in the cauldron over the hearth, made him gag.
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