Regan knew that he was more like a Teddy Bear with her and didn’t even want to think how he had earned the nickname, Beast. She watched his perceptive eyes search her face for a few minutes, trying to determine what was going on in her head. He turned his face into her small hand and pressed a kiss into her palm. He pulled her closer and gathered her snugly into his arms. “All right, then we’ll make an appointment with someone for next week and see what can be done to help you - maybe whoever Megan is seeing. If she doesn’t work out we’ll find someone who does.”
Regan relaxed as she watched her Dom take over. She really didn’t want to see a therapist or psychiatrist but new she wouldn’t have a choice. When it came to her health and safety, he was in charge. And in the bedroom, of course, but that went without saying for a Dom. A Chief Warrant Officer in the Army for fifteen years, he was used to taking charge, planning an attack and addressing problems head on. She smiled as he planned out loud, cursing when he saw it was well after midnight and too late to call her mother.
“We’ll call your mom first thing tomorrow. I’m sure she’ll have some good advice. But for now, it’s to bed with you. We’ve both had a long day, and I know you’re worn out.” He stood with her in his strong arms. “Don’t you worry, baby, we’ll nip this in the bud.”
He laid her down in their king-sized bed and kissed her tenderly on the lips. “I love you forever, babe. Never forget that.” He reassured her and spread gentle kisses across her cheeks and down her throat to the sensitive area where her shoulder meet her neck. She arched into him as expected. He knew all of her special spots and played her body like an instrument.
Her arms rose to wrap around his neck and she groaned, responding to his touch. “I’m sorry for being such a pain in the butt, Bear.”
Her soft, sexy voice drew him in as always. His seeking lips captured hers in a searing kiss.
“You’re not a pain in the butt. You’re a warm, beautiful, sexy woman and you’re all mine.” He pressed a trail of burning kisses down her neck, his tongue running over her racing pulse. “I need to be inside you now; I can’t wait.” He pulled away to remove his leathers. Spreading her thighs with his knees, he lowered himself over her, his hard cock sliding along her slit as aligned his hips with hers. Although BDSM was a vital part of their lives, they often had what could only be considered vanilla sex when their emotions were running high and their passions flared. Then, as now, it was always sizzling hot.
Rick’s cock found its home and he slipped between her wet lips. Regan held her breath as she felt the long glide of his hard flesh slowly separating her swollen tissues. Even after years with him, it took her a moment to adjust to his size. Her heat engulfed him as he slid deep inside and he paused when he was fully embedded.
“Good God, Regan. You fit me like a glove. You’re so damn tight, your pussy muscles are gripping me like you never want to let me go. Nothing feels better than this.”
He looked deeply into her big blue eyes. His hands clasped hers, their fingers linking as he moved them above her head and held them firmly in place. “I love how you can take all of me, baby. Feel how deep I am inside you?” She sucked in a breath and moaned as he slowly started to thrust into her.
“Look at me, Regan.” Rick commanded her attention as her eyes started to close and she had to concentrate to hold his gaze. He rocked in and out, grinding his pubic bone against her and inflaming the nerves of her clit.
“You feel so good deep inside me. Faster… please.” She wrapped her legs around his waist and arched into him stroke for stroke. Overwhelmed by passion, her eyes started to close once again as the sensations consumed her.
“Eyes on me,” Rick reminded in a throaty growl. When she obeyed he spoke, his deep voice hoarse with passion, “I want you to watch my eyes as I love you. I want to look into your eyes as you come. Watch me baby, see what I feel. I love you more than life itself.”
Regan’s legs trembled as they clamped around his hips. She rocked against him, as he loved her with a slow, burning intensity. He was such a creative lover he always kept it fresh, being gentle and romantic some times, sensual and dominant others. A tear trickled down her cheek at the beauty of this moment. “I love you too, Bear. I love you forever. But I’m not going to be able to wait. I can’t help it...”
“Come all over me. Do it, Regan. I can’t wait to feel your pussy squeeze me and drench my cock when you come.” He quickened the pace, still moving at a consistent rate allowing her to feel every one of his nine inches. Still looking steadily into her eyes he ordered her, “Come for me, my beautiful girl.”
Regan lost it then. Her legs tightened around him as she tried to hold his length deep inside her. Her hands gripped his shoulders tightly and her sensitive nipples rubbed against his hard chest as she arched into him. The merging sensations caused her orgasm to consume her in waves, and she came long and hard. The intensity of her release pushed him over the edge into his own climax and he plunged deep into her again and again. His head flew back as he let out a carnal growl of ecstasy. His seed pumped deep as his cock spasmed and jerked inside and her pussy milked him dry. Finally, he slowed to long, drawn out strokes as they both relaxed, spent from the intensity of their passion for one another.
“Fuck me, babe,” his voice was husky from exertion and he settled, still pressed deep and tight inside her. “No matter how we do it, fast or slow, rough or soft, kink or vanilla, you always make me blow harder than ever before.”
Conscious of his much greater weight, he rolled them both to their sides and held her close. He positioned her back to his front and buried his face in her sweetly scented hair and inhaled. “Mm, you always smell so good, just like peaches. I love fucking you until you can’t think straight and then holding you as you fall asleep,” he murmured this in his husky, sleepy voice and then sighed in contentment, “Maybe this time we made a baby, yeah Peaches?” He laughed softly at the nickname then tucking his face into her neck as he pressed a kiss to the sensitive skin below her ear. “Maybe this time.”
Regan clung to that hope as he fell asleep behind her, but the harsh reality was like a knife in her gut. She sent a silent prayer to the heavens, “Please, God. Let it happen this time. Bless me with Rick’s baby.” This prayer had been repeated many times before. She knew without a doubt this time it would go unanswered. The fertility clinic had confirmed it today. She was infertile. She hid her face against her pillow and let the silent tears flow unchecked. His breathing turned slow and deep and she knew he had fallen asleep. Unable to turn off her brain, she lay there for hours, but sleep eluded her. Carefully, she eased out of bed not wanting to disturb him and have him see her pain and disappointment. She crossed to the window and stood looking out, seeing nothing.
The doctors diagnosed her with something called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. They explained that PCOS was a genetic disease that triggered a hormonal imbalance and caused her ovaries to produce few or no eggs. The few eggs produced were usually immature, so treatments like in vitro fertilization and other surgical interventions were not an option. Today, the doctors had started her on fertility drugs and hormones at her insistence although they told her the drugs were a long shot and there was no guarantee of success. Her best options seemed to be surrogacy or adoption. This news had devastated Regan and was the cause of her uncharacteristic bad mood tonight. She and Rick had always planned on having a big family. Now their future had changed. It was so unfair.
Her exhausted mind raced. How did she tell him? Could she tell him? He would be such a good father. She knew he would be disappointed but would be supportive. He’d go along with whatever treatments the specialist recommended whether it was some costly, drawn out infertility treatments or adoption. But how could she put him through all this? She wasn’t sure she was ready for it herself.
How could she ask him to sacrifice his dreams for her? He was thirty-five and ready to start a family. She couldn’t begin to count the number of times he had talked of the so
n he would have to carry on the Spencer name. As her emotions threatened to erode her control, she tiptoed out of their bedroom. Once in the hallway, she rushed to the guest bathroom where she poured out her grief in private. She slumped on the cold tile floor and grieved for the children that would never be and wondered. What was she going to do now?
Chapter Two
Regan was working late at the bakery. As she went over the revenue and expense reports she realized she should be happier about the success of their business. She and Megan along with two of her cousins had invested in the new bakery about two years ago. It was already operating in the black. It was primarily Megan’s business and the others dabbled here and there content to leave her in charge. But running the bakery in Megan’s absence had fallen to Regan and it had become a major headache. With all that was going on in her personal life, she had a hard time focusing on work. She hoped she wasn’t screwing things up.
She spent most of her time putting out fires, figuratively of course. The biggest problem with Regan taking over was the she couldn’t bake. In fact, she pretty much sucked at it. Her meringue always burned, her roses were lopsided and her cakes flopped, literally. Megan was the baker with the skill to create beautiful cakes and confections. Her absence had posed a serious problem.
A knock at the door was a welcome break from the endless jumble of numbers. Regan smiled when Francine, their new pastry chef stuck her head in. “I’m heading out, boss. We’re all ready for the Briggs wedding and the Salisbury party tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Fran. I don’t know what we would do without you. You were heaven sent.”
“Nope, more like Jersey sent. Seriously, I’m grateful for the opportunity. Now, don’t stay too late and have a good night.”
Francine was a real find. She hadn’t been in town for more than a week when she’d seen their ad. Finding a substitute for Megan so quickly had been the only bit of luck that Regan had lately. With Fran firmly in charge of the creative end of operations, Regan was free to deal with the business end like payroll, ordering supplies, and invoicing account holders. Ugh! Just because she had a business degree didn’t mean she enjoyed the mundane tasks of running the business. However, it was either pitch in or the bakery would fail. Her sister needed and deserved her support, especially now.
Regan worried about her twin. Megan hadn’t been able to return to work since the kidnapping last summer. When the bastards had tied her up and left her, the cords had cut into her wrists and cut off her circulation for so long that she still struggled with nerve damage. They prayed it wasn’t permanent since it affected so many things she did in her daily life, including the work that she loved.
She was also in counseling for post-traumatic stress. She looked recovered, but emotionally she was still dealing with panic attacks and nightmares. Her husband Tony was still freaked and had become even more protective. Security at the bakery was high and a Rossi man was stationed there as long as one of the twins was in the store. With all the recent crime in the area especially after what had happened to Megan, it didn’t bother Regan at all.
She plugged in some more numbers and moved on to the next invoice. Even though the bookkeeping was boring as hell, she was glad to have something to occupy her time. With the holidays coming up, business was flourishing so she had a lot to occupy her time. Regan loved the holidays, the parties and gifts and even the corny Christmas songs. She also loved Christmas decorations. Rick had teased her about having some kind of weird snowman fetish. Last year, he had to put his foot down to keep her from buying that hundredth decorative snowman to add to her already impressive collection.
This year she couldn’t get up enough energy to even do the bare minimum. She wouldn’t care if they just skipped it all together and it showed. She had no Christmas spirit. In fact, her employees started calling her Ebenezer when she kept turning off the Christmas music in the bakery. Rick had been away a lot in the past month so he hadn’t noticed her lack of enthusiasm.
Another employee pecked on her door, “Regan, you staying late again tonight?”
“Yeah, might as well. Rick’s out of town so I figured I’d catch up on the accounting.”
“Bonny and I are heading out for a few drinks and dinner. Wanna come with?”
“Thanks Jen but I’m going to call it a night soon and head home. Maybe I’ll have a glass of wine and get my tree decorated.” Probably not, she thought.
“You sure? It sounds kind of lonely to me.” Jen had been working for the bakery since it opened. The twins had known her since high school and remembered Regan’s party girl persona. She was a far cry from a party girl these days. “You OK, honey? You don’t seem like yourself lately”
“Yeah, just busy and I guess I got a little case of the holiday blues. Don’t you worry about me; you guys go out and have a good time. Would you lock up on the way out?”
“Sure thing. Night then.”
Regan looked at her computer screen, realizing she hadn’t accomplished anything this afternoon. Her thoughts were racing a mile a minute and jumping from the topic to topic. She blamed everything on the hormones as usual. Frustrated, she called it a night and headed on home.
Thirty minutes later, she stood in the open refrigerator frowning, full of food but nothing she wanted to eat. Rick had fussed about her dieting, but she wasn’t. She just hadn’t had an appetite for weeks. She grabbed a Fuzzy Navel and closed the door. Maybe a little alcohol would help her sleep in that big bed alone. He’d only been gone four days and she was already a mess. How had she dealt with the loneliness all those years he had been in the Army? What was she going to do if she got up the guts to actually leave him?
She wandered into the living room and looked at the boxes of Christmas decorations he had brought down from the attic. She didn’t have enough energy to decorate, and her Christmas spirit was non-existent. Surely, he’d notice the boxes still in the living room when he got home and wonder.
As she wandered into their bedroom she stood staring at the crumpled linens on the king sized bed. Usually she made their bed every day, mostly because she liked to crawl into a neat, welcoming bed every night. This morning, she hadn’t even bothered and now couldn’t stand the thought of crawling back in it all alone. Maybe she should have gone out with Bonny and Jen and had a few drinks to forget her problems for a while.
Her cell buzzed signaling a new text message. Eager for something or someone to shake her out of this funk, she pulled her phone from her pocket. Smiling, she read Rick’s message.
Log in to Skype babe, I miss you.
A few seconds later a gorgeous pair of green eyes was gazing back at her from her computer screen.
“Bear… ” It was so good to see him.
“Hey Peaches. I miss you.” Rick only called her Peaches when they were alone. Otherwise, she had a meltdown because she hated the nickname. Tonight, it sounded warm and familiar and made her heart beat a little faster when he said it in his sexy voice.
“I miss you so much. When are you coming home?”
“It's only a few more days, babe. What have you been up to? Did you get the tree up?”
“Sorry, but I’ve been busy with the bakery and…” she sniffled and bit her lip, she didn’t want to cry in front of him. “The truth is I didn’t feel like it without you here to help me.”
“That’s OK honey. We’ll get it up this weekend, and then we have that party at Alicia’s. That should get you in the Christmas spirit, yeah?” He was upbeat and encouraging, his smile so infectious that she couldn’t help but smile back.
“How are things going with the investigation? Are you going to get things wrapped up so you can be home for Christmas?”
“I’m sorry I’ve been away so much but we’re making some good progress. Did you see the news tonight? We shut down the Mendoza operation in Laredo.”
“I saw. I’m proud of the work you and the guys are doing down there. You’ll save so many lives, but I’m selfish and I miss you.”
<
br /> Rick was one of the lead investigators for Rossi Security and they had been contracted by the government to work on the joint drug task force in South Texas. The investigation was centralized near the Mexican border, mostly Corpus Christi and Laredo. This meant Rick was stationed fairly close and was able to be home more often, but he was still gone for periods of up to a week at a time. Regan constantly worried about him being in danger. The Mexican drug cartels were known for their brutality and the violence occurring in Mexico was in the news daily. Regan tried to reassure herself that as an expert in his field he would be fine.
“I sure am glad I was able to get some down time tonight. I missed that sweet smile, Peaches.”
Reflexively, she rolled her eyes; she really did hate that nickname.
“Did you just roll your eyes at your Master, Regan?”
“Yes, Master I did. You know I hate that hooker nickname.” The use of his title signaled that he was in a playful mood tonight, so she followed his lead because she missed their playtime
“Ah, but I love it. It reminds me of the way you smell like fresh peaches. Sometimes, when were in the shower, it smells so real I can taste the fuzz.”
“Maybe I should switch to something else and mix it up a little, something without a floozy nickname.”
“Don’t you dare! I love that peach scent in your hair, on your skin, and that peach flavored body lotion… yummy. You know I love to lick it off you, especially that sweet peach flavored pussy.”
That flipped her switch. She tingled and moistened as she imagined his lips against her pussy, his tongue lapping at her clit and then dipping lower into her drenched opening. A groan slipped out. Her eyes flew open at his answering chuckle.
“I know that sexy look, babe. Has your pussy been missing its Master, too? Why don’t you slip out of those clothes and show me how wet you are.”
You Said Forever (Club Decadence) Page 2