by E M Lindsey
For their part, Spencer and Max both seemed to pay attention and looked like they were absorbing the majority of the material, which had him resting a little easier. City boys were the worst when it came to functioning when the going got rough, and with the recent rains, he wasn’t expecting smooth sailing the whole way down. The rapids would be full and heavy, and he hadn’t capsized in years, but he wanted to feel comfortable that they’d know what to do if shit went tits up.
“Above all,” Collin finished, “don’t lose your vest. We clear?”
“Clear,” Spencer said, and Max simply nodded.
Collin hesitated, then figured it was the best he was going to get, so he turned back to haul their meager supplies into the little compartment under the front bench. First aid, a little lunch, an extra couple of inflatable vests, and two camping blankets.
“Okay, any preferences on who wants to ride up front?” Collin asked.
Before Max had a chance to blink, Spencer had pushed forward. “Hell yeah, that’s me. When do we see the goats?”
Collin blinked at him. “The goats?”
“Yeah. The website said that the Painted Goats were some of the rarest breeds in the world. At what part of the tour do we get to see them? It said there was a guarantee of at least one goat sighting.”
At the bright look in Spencer’s eyes, Collin wanted to march off and knock his brother out cold. It didn’t help that he was taken entirely by surprise at how enthusiastic and excited Spencer was at the prospect of seeing goats. Most goats weren’t exactly an endangered species—the star of any cheap petting zoo and no one, in the year he’d been doing this, had given a single shit about whether or not they saw real goats.
“Er,” he said, shuffling from one foot to the other. “You’re looking forward to that, are you?”
Spencer huffed. “It’s the only reason I showed up to this trip. Uh, no offense,” he added, and Collin let out a grunt of acceptance. “After last night, I’m sure you can tell I don’t really do outdoorsy stuff.”
“Can’t imagine you do, your highness,” Max groused.
Spencer turned a glare on him. “What the fuck is your problem, man? We had a nice night, we went on a decent hike, we get to see some goats, we get to ride some rapids. Why are you being such a dick?”
“Alright,” Collin said when Max’s cheeks darkened with anger, “look, I’ve been doing this tour a long time and I don’t know how much of a visual you’ll get of goats, but I don’t think you’ll regret this trip.”
“Do you see them a lot?” Spencer asked, calming almost instantly. He took the vest Collin offered over, and Collin shivered a little when their hands brushed together. “I mean, you said you taught zoology right? So you know something about the way they live?”
“I do,” Collin confirmed. It was the first time someone on the trip had actually asked him about what he knew—the first time someone had assumed he was skilled at this instead of reading off a script, even if the latter was the truth. “My dad had been breeding Arapawas here on the preserve, and I took over after he died. That’s not what we’re going to see, though,” he added, mentally wincing at what he was going to have to show this man. “They graze on the other side of my cabin and don’t usually make it down to this side of the river.”
Maybe, he thought as he handed off Max’s vest. Maybe, if they had time, he could show Spencer something real. It was a short hike to his cabin, after all, and the goats rarely went further than the pasture. He shook himself out of that thought quickly, knowing it would only lead him down a path he needed to avoid.
With a sigh, he clapped his hands together, then reached for his shades and pushed them back over his eyes. “Alright, any other questions before we push off?”
Both Spencer and Max shook their heads, though their expressions couldn’t have been more different. Spencer looked like he was about ready to jump out of his skin with excitement as he took his place at the front of the raft, and Max looked like he wanted to be literally anywhere else but here.
And yet, this was his team. Thunder rumbled overhead and he sighed, knowing their time was limited now. “Let’s head off,” he told them. Once they were properly seated with paddles in hand, Collin gave the raft a shove into the water, then jumped in.
The first wave they hit was thrilling, and he let himself think, only for a moment, about how much he was going to miss it.
Chapter 8
Spencer is ready to die
The only reason Spencer wanted to sit at the front of the raft was so that no one could turn around and see the look of absolute terror on his face. Rapids were no joke and, in person, they looked bigger, angrier, and far more violent than they appeared to be on the internet.
Things should come with warning labels like Activities depicted in this video are ten thousand percent more terrifying in real life. They weren’t even on the water yet and Spencer could feel himself getting seasick. He almost asked Collin if it were possible to get seasick on a river, but with Mr. Angry-judgy-pants Max standing right there, Spencer didn’t dare. Spencer slid into his life vest and tightened it up the best he could.
“You don’t think this will come off, do you?” he asked Collin, trying to seem more flirty than frightened.
“It looks secure to me.” Collin said, but he barely looked at Spencer.
“But… are you sure? Can you check?” He saw Max roll his eyes, but decided to not pay attention to him even if this super judgmental, guy with the chip on his shoulder was super hot. It was clear that Max came there determined to have a bad time, and a night of camping hadn’t changed that, so Spencer would leave him to his own devices.
Spencer, on the other hand, came out here with the intention of not dying. “Please check it?”
Collin didn’t seem pleased by Spencer’s insistence, but in the end he came over to Spencer and gave his vest a few tugs. He had the whole, intensely attractive older man thing going for him, and he smelled like fresh air and spices. His presence comforted Spencer, who was certain this would be the day he died.
“That’s nice and tight.”
Spencer couldn’t help it. It was Collin’s rough voice and his accent. He could read a grocery list and Spencer would get an erection. “Can you repeat that?” Spencer asked. He could feel the heat in his cheeks. He knew he was being a shameless flirt, but the only other thing he could think of to do was panic, and he’d looked pathetic enough for one day.
Collin shook his head and directed his attention to Max. “Is everyone ready?”
Max gave an answer that was on the angry side of indifferent. Spencer made a silent promise to himself to not let Max ruin the goats for him, because if he was this angry about everything, he would definitely complain about the goats.
“I’m ready.” Spencer pasted on a bright, fake smile. He couldn’t let Collin or Max see that his insides had liquified and his knees had turned to Jello.
There were people in this world who were built for things like this. For rivers and danger and wild animals and adventure. Spencer was built for indoors. For SPF sixty sunscreen and hot chocolate on cold nights. For blankets and couches and the perfect temperature. But there he was, climbing into a death trap masquerading as a boat and hopping onto the river Styx.
“Hey, your highness, you going to help us carry this to the water or are you going to stand there and look pretty?”
Spencer spun around, ready to unleash his wrath on Max, but Collin spoke.
“What he meant was, we could use a hand.”
Spencer grabbed the handle at the front of the boat and lifted. Though it was heavier than he’d expected, he’d managed to carry it without too much trouble. Working at his cat rescue had prepared him for that at least. Spencer managed all the food and kitty litter runs, often doing all the work himself.
They reached the shore of the river and lowered the boat down to the ground. He thought he heard Max make a snarky remark, but he ignored him. There was no way Spencer could do this.
The river looked angry, like it wanted to swallow him up and spit him out.
“You climb in first, Spencer,” Collin said.
Spencer gave a weak nod and climbed into the front of the boat. He grabbed his paddle and tried not to feel like a frightened little kid, but he didn’t have much success. If the rushing water wasn’t so loud, he’d be able to hear his knees knocking together. He was scared shitless. Taking a deep breath, he tried to remember all the different things Collin had told him, but his mind hadn’t retained any of the information.
The boat shifted a little when Max climbed in, then there was another shift of movement, and they surged forward. The minute the bottom of the boat wasn’t touching land, the current grabbed it.
Spencer tried his best to focus on Collin’s voice. He spoke loud enough to be heard over the roar of the water.
“This bit lasts about a mile and it’s fairly easy going. We’ll hit a bit of white water after a few turns, but they’re not bad.”
“Think of the goats, Spencer.” He muttered to himself, tentatively dipping his oar in the water. “It’ll be worth it to see the goats.”
The first stretch of river was relatively calm and far prettier than Spencer had first noticed. Thick lines of trees stood on both sides of the river, following the twists and turns of the water. The stony shores looked like something out of a painting and were it not for the knowledge that he’d probably die on the first set of rapids, Spencer might’ve been able to enjoy himself.
But his muscles were pulled taut. Every movement made his body scream and the fear only got worse when the river carried them faster around the bend. The first rapids came into view and Spencer felt his stomach drop.
“Are they always this big?” he yelled over his shoulder and gripped his paddle tighter.
“Try to keep to the middle as much as possible in this section,” Collin called out as they neared the rapids.
Spencer thought the jaunt down the river wouldn’t be terrifying. Okay. So he knew it would be, but he didn’t expect to careen toward boulders that stuck out of the raging water at what felt like a million miles an hour.
He tried his hardest to paddle, to do whatever it was that Collin was yelling at him to do, but it felt like the harder he tried, the more he fucked it up.
And then they were through the rapids.
Spencer exhaled, his breath shook, and so did every other part of him, but he was alive.
“Are you always such a spaz?” Max asked.
Spencer grit his teeth and forced himself not to turn around. Thankfully, Collin came to his defense.
“He did good for a first timer. And the river’s higher than she usually is. It makes the rapids worse.”
“She? The river’s a woman?”
“It’s called Mother Nature, isn’t it?” Collin replied. “She’s called Bimisi for a reason. It’s an Apache name--means slippery, and it fits her.”
Spencer couldn’t deny that. The river was calmer now after that initial section of rapids, but none of it looked safe. Spencer tried his best to pay attention to his surroundings, but those stupid boulders and this stupid river had his nerves frayed. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he could feel Max’s judgmental stare.
He rolled his shoulders and tried to remember that when he got home, he could tell everyone that he’d done it. That’s all that mattered, that he was here and he’d gone through with it.
“Think of the goats,” he reminded himself again. “How long are we going to be on this river for?” Spencer called back to Collin. He felt a bit like a kid asking if they were there yet, but the river was doing weird things to his stomach.
“There’s a rest stop a couple of miles downriver. We’ll pull out there and take a break. There’s a nice hike to see the overlook if you’re up for it. It’s a short walk.”
Anything that kept him off this river was fine by Spencer. He didn’t think it the least bit dramatic that he was certain he would die on that river. Unless it was his imagination, the river swelled underneath them, and the current tugged faster and harder.
The next set of rapids did nearly kill them. The boat slammed into one of the boulders and it threatened to tip. The left side rocked up out of the water. Collin yelled at Max. Max yelled at Spencer. The boat leveled out and they made it through the rapids. But shore couldn’t come soon enough.
“That was eventful.” Max’s disdain for Spencer was acid on his raw nerves. “You could’ve at least tried not to kill us.”
“I was trying,” Spencer’s voice was shrill and grating and he bit the inside of his cheek to make himself stop.
“No harm done.” Collin’s gruff voice broke through the tension and threw a calming blanket down on Max’s temper and Spencer’s fear. “The pull-out is up ahead. Keep the boat to the right and we’ll take a break.”
Getting off the river was easier than getting on. Spencer stood on the shore and tried not to shake apart as they tugged the raft farther up onto the rocky beach.
“We’ll take a rest here for a few minutes, then if you’re up for it, we can hike the trail to lookout. It’s about a ten minute walk.”
“Great. Sounds great.” Spencer forced a smile and tried to keep his breakfast down. There was no way in hell he was getting back in that raft.
Chapter 9
Max gets a talking to
“Why don’t we have a seat and a small snack before we hike?” Collin asked, slinging his backpack around to the front and tugging on the zipper.
Spencer nodded gratefully and collapsed onto a log and Max sighed, turning his back on them both and shoving his hands into his pockets. With every minute that passed, he realized what a truly bad idea it had been to not cancel this excursion altogether. It wasn’t going how he’d planned, not by a long shot.
“Oi, mate, can I talk to you?” Collin’s gruff voice was quiet in Max’s ear. He nodded, and Collin settled a hand on the small of his back and guided him away from the spot Spencer had sat down at.
“Yeah, what’s up?” Max stepped away from Collin’s touch, doing his best to ignore the electricity that arced from Collin’s fingers to Max’s spine.
“You need to relax.”
“I am relaxed.”
“You’re not.” Collin leveled a disapproving look at him. “I’ve been doing this a long time, and I can see very plainly, you’re the furthest thing from it.”
“It doesn’t give me a strong sense of security that you’re lecturing me and not the guy who almost keeps killing us.” Max darted his stare over Collin’s shoulder to Spencer, who was happily munching on a granola bar and watching the river.
“We’ve been out for an hour.” Collin ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “And this is a basic trail. Even the river is pretty easy through here. Anyone can do it. That’s why I like these tours. But if you’re being a twat to him, he’s going to get nervous, and then we really are in danger. So I need you to quit it, or I’ll call Michael to come get you and take you back.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I’m not taking the piss. I’ll make sure you get a refund, but your attitude isn’t working for me. It’s my job to keep you both safe, but I can’t do that if you spend this entire trip winding him up. He was distracted on the water, and not just because he was scared.”
Max bristled and folded his arms over his chest. He clenched his jaw and looked into the tree line without saying a word.
“I mean,” Collin began to say, his voice softer and more concerned. Max knew what he was about to say and didn’t want any part of, but he couldn’t find the words to cut Collin off. “Are you all right? In your email, you asked me to take you somewhere romantic, but now your party of two is just a party of one.”
“You playing therapist now?” Max arched a brow.
“More like trying to figure out why you have not just the stick, but the entire tree shoved up your arse.”
Max scoffed. “I’m fine.”
“I know the can
cellation was last minute because you didn’t get it done with enough time to get a refund.”
“I didn’t have enough time to get it done at all,” Max hissed. He shoved his hand into his pocket and fisted the gold band. The cool slide of the precious metal against his palm was jarring, and he yanked it out and shoved it against Collin’s chest.
Collin fumbled around, managing to catch the ring as it slipped out of Max’s hand. He held it between his calloused fingers and tried to offer it back to Max, but Max turned away.
“The whole thing is cancelled,” Max said. “My entire fucking life, if you must know.”
“Is this yours?” Collin asked, still holding the ring between them.
“It is now. But I don’t want it. It wasn’t...that wasn’t the plan.”
“Hey, guys?” Spencer’s trembling whisper echoed over the rushing of the river. Collin thankfully turned away from Max.
“What’s up?”
“How can you tell if a snake is poisonous?” Spencer asked.
Max groaned. “Snakes are venomous, not poisonous.”
“I’m not into the semantics of it all right now. Maybe we can talk about it when it’s not right next to my hand.”
“What color is it?” Collin asked, shoving the ring back into Max’s hands. He slipped it back into his pocket as Collin turned further away from him.
“Red and white and black.”
“Any orange?” Collin asked, not moving from his spot.
“No.”
“It’s a kingsnake,” Collin said, taking a step toward Spencer. “You’re fine.”
Spencer exhaled dramatically and jumped off the log, running toward them. He bumped into Collin and wrapped his arms around his waist, burying his face against Collin’s chest. Max wondered if maybe he should take the out Collin was offering, because almost anything would be better than watching Spencer try and throw himself at their guide. He licked his lips, fighting back the spasm of jealousy that he felt at the idea of Collin’s seasoned hands stripping Spencer out of his layers of hiking clothes and not him.