by Georgie Lee
‘My apologies, Vicar Carlson.’ Joanna curtsied, confused by the stillness which had enveloped the room.
‘Vicar Carlson? He’s the Marquis of Helmsworth!’ Frances spat out with contempt hot enough to boil wine. Her mother glared her into silence.
Joanna stumbled a bit as she rose, her head spinning at this latest revelation. She’d poured out her heart to a marquis and given her body to a major. The morning was turning out to be more stunning than last night.
‘Miss Radcliff needn’t kowtow to me.’ Lord Helmsworth smiled at her. ‘The two of us are already friends.’
Lady Huntford looked as confused as Joanna.
‘You said you were the vicar. Why did you lie to me?’ Joanna asked, struggling to reconcile his real identity with his false one and the contrast between the kind man in front of her and the one who’d raged against Luke in the vicarage.
‘You wouldn’t have talked to me so openly if I’d told you who I really was.’ He took her hand and patted it. It was warm and soft, not like Luke’s, but in the way she imagined a father’s might be. ‘Since you now know who I really am, I must tell you who you really are.’
‘I’m a governess.’ In reality she was no longer even this, but she didn’t want to see the kindness in his eyes replaced with the same disgust which the Huntfords and their guests had flung at her. It would follow soon enough when Lord Pensum, Frances or Lady Huntford decided to blurt out their very correct assumptions about what she’d been up to last night.
‘You’re much more than a governess. You’re the granddaughter of a marquis.’ He laid his hand over his heart, examining her as if she’d brought him the greatest treasure. ‘You’re my granddaughter.’
The gasp from everyone in the room almost extinguished the fire.
‘No, you’re mistaken. I’m nobody’s granddaughter. I don’t even know who my parents are.’ This elicited another small squeak of surprise from Lady Huntford as she realised she’d been employing not just a governess with questionable morals, but an illegitimate one.
‘Your mother was my dear daughter Jane.’ He explained to her about her mother and father, their illicit love, his death, her mother’s confinement and leaving Joanna with Mrs White who’d brought her to Madame Dubois. All the guests leaned in to catch every word of the story. Joanna guessed it would be included in their letters to London within the hour. Her mind reeled as she worked to comprehend everything Lord Helmsworth said. The family she’d always wanted, the lineage she’d often wondered about, was being revealed to her at last. It far surpassed even her most childish dreams and the plot of any of the fairy tales she’d ever read. It couldn’t be real. ‘How can you be sure I’m the child?’
‘After my solicitor located Mrs White she told us about the school. She was amazed you knew nothing of your background. She said that she’d not had time to stay and explain, but that she’d pinned a note to your blanket with your name and who you belonged to when she’d left you before departing for Austria. When my solicitor visited Madame Dubois to discuss with her my suspicions about you, she confirmed having found you on her doorstep, but said there’d been nothing but a torn piece of paper with your first name on it. If there’d been more, she would have contacted me at once.’
‘Of course.’ Madame Dubois was too caring to have left her an orphan if she could have prevented it.
‘I had this miniature of your mother made on her sixteenth birthday.’ He held out a gold locket on a chain and opened it. Inside was a painting of a young lady with Joanna and Lord Helmsworth’s blue eyes and slender nose.
Joanna took the locket and cradled it in her hands. For years she’d wondered what her mother had looked like, now she knew. Seeing her mother’s face was like seeing her own and Lord Helmsworth must have noticed the resemblance at once. It explained his reaction to her when they’d met at the graveyard.
‘Jane meant to return for you, but she didn’t have the chance.’ Sadness deepened the lines at the corners of his eyes. ‘Had I known of your existence, I would have claimed you at once.’
Joanna closed the locket and curled her fingers around it, the gold warming beneath her skin. ‘What does this mean?’
‘You have a good heart, Miss Radcliff. I recognised it the day I met you. You were kind to me when I was hurting and I appreciated it. Not everyone is so understanding of my grief.’ He slid an accusatory look at Lord Ingham before focusing back on her.
‘You’re the one who listened to me,’ Joanna countered with a humble smile. ‘Your advice made a great deal of difference.’
‘I want to make even more of a difference in your life.’ He reached out to touch her cheek, then pulled back his hand, as awkward as Joanna about where they stood. ‘Will you come with me, allow me to make up for the years of my absence and do for you all I wished I could have done for Jane?’
He was offering her the truth about who she was and where she’d come from. She was the granddaughter of a marquis who wasn’t afraid to publicly claim her. It should be the happiest day of her life, but worry tainted her excitement. Lord Helmsworth disliked the Inghams. When Lord Pensum’s suspicions about her time with Luke reached Lord Helmsworth’s ears, would he still be proud to call her his granddaughter, or would he cast her back where he’d found her?
Luke’s words about giving in to her fears echoed through her mind. She’d allowed fear to dictate her actions with Luke and surrendered a chance to marry an honourable man. She wouldn’t allow them to stop her from seizing the opportunity to claim a real family and a place in the world. Whatever happened between her and Lord Helmsworth, whatever stories he heard or judgements he made because of them, she would face them and do her best to overcome them. She laid her hand on her grandfather’s arm. ‘Yes, I will.’
* * *
Luke emerged from the woods and stepped onto the main drive. Between him and the front door to Huntford Place stood Lord Helmsworth’s carriage with its gold crest on the green-lacquered sides. Luke groaned. Of all the days for their paths to cross, this had to be the worst. Between the news of Captain Crowther and his men, and Joanna’s sound rejection of him after a pleasurable night together, he was in no mood to face Lord Helmsworth’s vitriol.
He considered going to the stable, fetching Duke and riding home. He was finished with this party and his visit here, but he didn’t. Too many times he’d entered a battle mourning friends or dealing with a myriad of other troubles. Today, like then, he wouldn’t allow his personal feelings to dissuade him from doing what needed to be done. He’d resolve this lingering issue between Lord Helmsworth and the Inghams by meeting the Marquis’s anger with kindness.
To his astonishment, the front door of Huntford Place opened and the Marquis himself appeared with Joanna at his side. Lord Helmsworth escorted her outside, beaming as if he’d just been made a duke. Joanna glowed as much as he did, her joy a far cry from the parting despair she’d left him with at the vicarage.
Luke gaped at them. There was only one reason Lord Helmsworth could be leaving with Joanna, and for them to appear so ecstatic together. She must have been entertaining him as well as Luke, and Lord Helmsworth intended to make the governess his wife. It didn’t seem possible, and went against everything Luke had come to believe about her, but he couldn’t deny the evidence.
Her happiness dimmed at the sight of him watching them from the middle of the gravel drive. Lord Helmsworth scowled at him like a badger. As they passed, Joanna paused to say something, but Lord Helmsworth didn’t break his stride, drawing her along.
‘Come, my dear, we must hurry.’ Lord Helmsworth patted her hand in a way which made Luke want to pull her away from him, but he didn’t. He was too furious.
Once again he’d been tossed over by a lady in search of a husband with a loftier title and more money. No wonder she’d been so eager to get away from him this morning and so fast to com
e to him last night after all her prior protestations. She’d probably wanted a taste of a virile man before binding herself to one with more lineage than stamina.
Luke stormed up to the house without sparing the happy couple a second glance. It turned his stomach to think of Lord Helmsworth’s gnarled hands on Joanna and her willingness to endure his touch. He ground the bottom of his boots against the iron scraper outside the door, not caring if he tore up the leather. Despite everything he’d done for her, it hadn’t been enough to trump his lack of position or wealth. Nothing ever was.
Leaving a small pile of mud beside the door, he marched inside and jerked to a halt in the entrance hall. Everyone stood there and their conversation ceased at the sight of him.
What the hell happened while I was gone?
* * *
‘Lord Helmsworth’s granddaughter.’ Luke groaned. His family had waited until they were alone in his mother’s room to tell Luke the news. The one consolation was he hadn’t been thrown over for the old man, at least not in the disgusting way he’d imagined. It still didn’t ease the sting of Joanna having run from his proposal. When he’d held her last night, he thought he’d won her. He’d been wrong.
‘And all you could do was treat her like your whore,’ Edward fumed, shaking off Alma’s restraining hand. ‘Do you know how embarrassing it was to have your peccadilloes announced to everyone by a hysterical Lady Huntford, or was that your intent all along? To court a governess to spite us?’
‘Contrary to what you believe, not everything I do, or each decision I make, is done with you in mind,’ Luke hissed, struggling to control his temper. ‘I pursued Miss Radcliff because she has more intelligence, common sense and regard for me than any other lady I’ve met.’
‘Apparently not enough to avoid bedding you.’
Luke grabbed his brother by the lapels and slammed him against the wall.
‘Boys!’ their mother shouted, advancing on them as she used to when they fought as children. Luke let go of Edward, his anger checked but not cooled.
‘Enough of this. What’s done is done.’ She scowled in motherly disapproval at them. ‘Miss Radcliff has gone with Lord Helmsworth to lead her life with him and we must go on dealing with the challenges of ours.’
‘One thing about Miss Radcliff being Lord Helmsworth’s granddaughter is she’ll probably receive a grand dowry now,’ his father mused, as practical as ever. ‘If she and Luke have an interest in each other, I see no reason why they shouldn’t continue to pursue it.’
‘Except Miss Radcliff has already refused my offer of marriage,’ Luke clarified for everyone, his pride smarting.’
‘That’s a pity.’ His father shook his head, his optimism fading. ‘Perhaps she can still help us resolve the land dispute?’
‘Not once Lord Helmsworth hears of her little tryst with Luke—and he will,’ Edward spat out. ‘Lady Huntford will probably attach a note about it to Miss Radcliff’s things when she sends them over. Lord Helmsworth hated us before. Imagine how he’ll react once he learns Luke has had his way with his long-lost granddaughter.’
Luke winced at the truth. In his desire to be with Joanna he’d inadvertently driven them apart. If he’d shown more restraint last night, then this morning and perhaps even the future might have unfolded differently. But he hadn’t.
He reached into his pocket and clutched the bugle badge. His mistake was as sharp as the thin edge of the metal. Between her having already rejected him and Lord Helmsworth’s animosity there was little Luke could do to overcome the consequences of their intimacy. However, if she asked him to, he’d find a way to stand with her against the mounting rumours, and even against her new grandfather’s disapproval.
He let go of the badge. Even as he thought it he doubted it would happen. Joanna hadn’t been willing to fight with him for their future when their ranks had been so different. As the newly minted granddaughter of a wealthy marquis, she wasn’t likely to want anything to do with him now, not after he’d humiliated her in front of the entire countryside.
The idea of giving up pricked at him, but he couldn’t chase after a woman who didn’t want to be won. He must focus on his lost men and ignore the upsetting of all his plans and the severe blow to his heart.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Joanna shifted in her seat and the silk of her dress rustled as she tried to concentrate on the play. The new blue gown was tasteful and flattered her eyes, or so the expensive French modiste had insisted during her fitting. Or perhaps it was her grandfather, or Mrs Petit, her lady’s maid and sometimes chaperon who’d said it. After the whirlwind of the last month, it was difficult to remember.
Joanna adjusted the thick strand of pearls around her neck, their weight too heavy against her exposed décolletage. The Drury Lane theatre was far more dazzling than the one she’d been to in Sandhills, and its production of Romeo and Juliet opulent.
Thousands of candles in wide chandeliers illuminated the players and the numerous guests filling the seats. Lord Helmsworth sat beside her in the private box he’d hired for the evening. He’d insisted they come to London, thinking the small Season the perfect time to introduce her to society. She wasn’t so certain. While he watched the young lovers, Joanna tried to overlook all the people watching her, as she searched among the curious faces for one. With the House of Lords in session, Lord Ingham might be here and possibly Luke. After all, there was no better place than London for Luke to search for a rich wife.
The realisation that it would not be her made her sides ache more than her new stays. She’d spied Lord and Lady Pensum in a box across the way, but Luke wasn’t with them. She hadn’t seen Luke or heard anything from him since the morning she’d refused his proposal. She flicked one stick of her fan with her finger. For all his confessed determination to be with her, he hadn’t even tried to seek her out, or concocted some reason to come to Helmsworth Manor while she’d been there.
It’s for the best, she reminded herself for the hundredth time since leaving him. The spectre of her indiscretion with Luke had haunted her until her courses had arrived. Not being with child had given her some peace, but it hadn’t quietened the rumours racing through the countryside or the fear that her grandfather would cast her aside once they reached him. To her amazement, he either hadn’t heard the stories or had chosen to ignore them, and Luke had stayed away. She was both disappointed and glad. His presence might have forced her grandfather to face the truth about Joanna’s lapse in judgement, and possibly tainted her in his eyes.
Joanna tapped her fan against her palm. If only Lord Helmsworth had found me sooner, then there might never have been rumours.
She and Luke could have become properly acquainted at country events and behaved together like a respectable courting couple instead of being so secretive. She let out a long sigh, making the lace along the edge of her bodice quiver. Even if Lord Helmsworth had found her months ago, his prejudice against Army men and the Inghams would have prevented him from considering Luke as Joanna’s suitor. It seemed that, no matter what the situation, they weren’t meant to be together.
‘You’re not enjoying the play, my dear?’ her grandfather asked.
‘I’m distracted by everyone staring at me.’ It was a half-truth. She’d long ago wished to be the centre of attention for one night. This wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind. By now the tales from Huntford Place must have reached London and she could imagine what everyone was saying about her.
‘They’re merely curious. In time it’ll pass,’ he assured her, seemingly oblivious to the scrutiny. Her grandfather raised his hand in greeting to someone across the theatre then rose. ‘If you’ll excuse me, Lord Jarsdel, an old friend of mine, is here and I must see him. I’ll return shortly.’
He left, and a few moments later she saw him enter a box across the way to speak with a gentleman she didn’t recognise
. His absence left her to face the audience alone. She stroked the warm pearls and watched Romeo climb the wall into the Capulet orchard, but then a tingle of awareness made her turn. Her fingers froze on one of the smooth orbs as across the theatre her eyes met Luke’s. He stood at the back of the box below where her grandfather was, his black coat austere compared to Lord Beckwith and the other high-ranking officers with their medals, ribbons and blue Horse Guards uniforms. She pulled the long strand through her closed fist to click against her new rings, still able to feel his chest beneath her fingertips, the ecstasy in his arms and the pain of having walked away.
One of the officers said something to Luke, forcing his attention back to them. Then a moment later, Luke made his excuses and left the box. His leaving should have been a relief. She’d already been made enough of a spectacle without him being here in London to make it worse. However, the first sight of him after so long proved as precious as her new family. In spite of everything, she still cared for him but doubted he even thought of her.
She settled against her seat, trying to lose herself in the drama and the way the tale of forbidden love pulled at her heart. She shouldn’t ruminate on her troubles but enjoy her advantages. She was very lucky to be here, as all the letters from Rachel, Grace, Isabel and even Madame Dubois and Miss Fanworth had told her. She didn’t feel lucky, but alone. This wasn’t her world and it was difficult settling in.
She shivered as a light draught played along the back of her neck, followed by the flutter of the curtain behind her.
‘Good evening, Joanna.’ Luke’s voice slid over her, making her heart still in her chest.
She hazarded a look at him, cautious not to turn too far and alert everyone, especially her grandfather, to his presence. Despite her change in status, they were as unable to converse openly here as in Hertfordshire. He stood in the shadow of the doorway, around the slight bend blocking him from view of the audience. Each of his steady breaths plucked at her like a harp and she clasped the side of the chair. He shouldn’t be here and they shouldn’t speak but she didn’t have the will to send him away.