by Georgie Lee
‘Now go, before he worries.’ He swept Joanna’s lips with a parting kiss, then nudged her back towards the walk.
She stumbled out from behind the tree, struggling to settle herself as her grandfather rushed up to her.
‘My dear, where have you been?’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wander off, but the garden is so confusing.’ She prayed the dim paper lanterns hanging overhead hid her moist lips and her too-red cheeks from his notice. It was difficult to tell from his expression if they did.
‘Don’t do it again or you’ll be mistaken for a woman of easy virtue.’
He’d raised his voice, saying it more in the direction of the tree where Luke hid than to her. Joanna fingered the gold chain and locket, now heavy on her skin. He’d guessed where she’d been and with whom.
‘Come, the others are waiting.’
She followed him back to their party and Lord Jarsdel’s side. Thankfully, a dazzling display of sparklers and candles from a pavilion situated in the centre of the lake kept everyone focused on it and not her. She couldn’t see how this mess would end, but Luke loved her and she loved him and somehow all would be well.
* * *
Luke watched from the shadows as Lord Helmsworth guided Joanna back to the party and directly to Lord Jarsdel. The earl was as solicitous in his attention to Joanna as a besotted suitor. Luke wanted to march down the walk, take her in his arms and make it clear to everyone she was his, but he didn’t move. Making a scene wouldn’t help them. Instead, he returned to where his family stood a short distance away by the lake, ignoring the hard stares being flung at them by the Marquis.
Miss Crowther approached him before he reached his parents.
‘I want to thank you again, Major Preston, before my party and I leave, for all you’re doing on Reginald’s behalf and mine.’ She had her brother’s dark hair and pale brown eyes, but she was much shorter and more slender in build. Luke suspected it had more to do with meagre meals than natural inclination. ‘He always said you were too honourable for your own good and his.’
‘I did my best to influence him, but he always resisted, especially where frequenting tavern gaming rooms was concerned. At least he has a knack for winning.’
‘He’s probably gambling with French soldiers right now, assuming he survived.’ Her smile faded at the very real possibility they might never see Reginald again.
‘He’ll come back. He’s too charming to perish,’ Luke encouraged for her sake and his.
‘You’re right. We must continue to have faith. Goodnight, Major Preston.’
She left him to rejoin her party, her steps a little slower than before.
‘Luke, come here quickly.’ His father waved him over. ‘Your brother has the most exciting news.’
Edward stood beside Alma, the hard planes of his face softer than Luke had seen them at any time since coming home. Even Alma seemed different. The glow which had surrounded her in London was brighter and Luke wondered what had brought such a change over them.
‘Well, go on, tell them,’ his father insisted, nearly hopping back and forth on his feet in excitement. Edward took Alma’s hand and opened his mouth to speak when their father cut him off. ‘Alma is expecting a child in the new year.’
A rocket exploded overhead, making Edward and Alma’s smiles dazzle beneath its silvery light. Luke’s mother’s burst into tears. She rushed to Alma and embraced her, blubbing out words of congratulations. Luke’s father shook Edward’s hand, his eyes red with his tears of excitement.
Luke stared at them, amazed. A child. He looked to Alma, who winked at him over his mother’s shoulder. So this was what she’d meant by still believing in miracles and it was one. Alma and Edward would be parents at last and he would be an uncle, and with luck a husband soon, too. It was an exhilarating night.
Their father let go of Edward and Luke stepped forward to clasp his brother’s hand and give it a hearty shake. ‘Well done.’
‘Alma said you believed it would happen and helped her to do the same.’ Edward pulled him off to one side, away from their parents, who were gushing over Alma. A rare humility came over him as he let go of Luke. ‘Thank you for not giving up on us and your willingness to make sacrifices. I’m sorry if I haven’t been kind to you. It’s been difficult these last few years. You were right, I was jealous of your accomplishments because I’d failed in the one most expected of me. I shouldn’t have taken out my frustrations on you. Siring a child might not seem like much to a man of your achievements, but for me it means not seeing all of my hard work and Father’s come to an end. We’ve fought so long for Pensum Manor. To have someone to pass it on to and to give a child the security we’ve always lacked, means a great deal to me.’
The strain between them evaporated like a horse’s breath in the cold. Joanna had been right about his brother and, for the first time, he saw how alike he and Edward were. Like Luke, Edward had been struggling with his failures, but in the end he’d triumphed. Luke hoped to emulate him in this regard. ‘I admire what you’ve done for Pensum Manor and the line. I haven’t always given you enough credit for it. You’re a good man, Edward, and you deserve your success and all the happiness of a family of your own. I can’t wait to welcome the new Ingham.’
He grabbed his brother and gave him a hearty embrace before stepping back.
‘If all goes well, you could return to the Army,’ Edward said, sobering Luke.
‘I could.’ He looked to where Joanna stood with her group at the lake’s edge. The joy he’d longed to see in her face in Hertfordshire decorated it now, filling him with as much happiness as her. The rush to return to Spain, which had once been so powerful, had lost its grip. Lord Beckwith said he could serve his men in a new way. It wasn’t the same as standing beside them in a hail of musket fire, but it would make a difference and he could do it here in England near Joanna. Once they were married, she could help him. For the first time since coming home, he had a purpose, more than one, and both important enough to make him stay.
* * *
The carriage wheels against the cobblestone mimicked the steady rhythm of Joanna’s heart as the vehicle carried her and her grandfather home. Outside, the streets were still and dark except for the swinging lanterns of the young boys lighting groups of men home. Their breath rose about their heads in the autumn chill. Inside the carriage it was as warm as Luke’s lips had been against hers.
He loves me.
His words were as precious to her as his commitment to see them together. After years of everyone letting her go, her mother, Madame Dubois, here was someone at last striving to keep her close. She pressed her lips together, savouring the taste of Luke lingering there. He wanted her, not out of guilt for seducing her or to help his family, but as his wife and nothing could ruin her elation.
‘I have a surprise for you. I’ve arranged to hold a ball in your honour next week.’ her grandfather announced.
Except this.
‘Why didn’t you discuss it with me before you decided?’ She sat up, rocking to one side as the carriage made a turn, trying not to be scolding. She should thank him and be grateful. This was something any young lady might wish for, but she was as annoyed by the news as the constant squeak of the carriage wheel behind her seat. She didn’t want to be the centre of so much attention, most of it unpleasant as Lady Huntford had made clear tonight.
‘I’m sorry, but I’ve wanted to do this since the moment we met.’ He shifted across the carriage to sit beside her. ‘I have something to show you.’
He produced a letter from inside his coat pocket and handed it to her. The paper, despite the fine quality, was yellow with age and the edges were wrinkled. She turned it over to reveal the one line indicating who it was meant for.
To My Daughter
‘What is this?’ Joanna asked.
> ‘A letter to you, from Jane. She wrote it the day before she died and gave it to Mr Browning in the hopes he’d find you. He gave it to me once you were found. I’d thought of showing it to you sooner, but I decided to wait until you were more settled.’
Joanna swallowed hard, afraid to hold the paper too tight for fear it would crumble and she’d lose the only words she’d ever had from her mother.
‘Go ahead, open it,’ her grandfather urged.
Joanna turned the letter over and gently unfolded it to reveal her mother’s cramped and shaky handwriting.
My dearest daughter,
There is so much I wish to say to you, but in my weakness I struggle to write the words. Last year I followed my heart and it has brought me both great joy and crushing sorrow. Your father is gone, died in battle, and I fear I will leave you, too.
I wish I could be there when you take your first steps, to teach you to ride like my father taught me. Perhaps some day your grandfather can give you the coming-out ball I used to dream of when I was carrying you. I cry to think I will not be there to see it.
There isn’t enough time for me to tell you everything you will ever need to deal with the world, so I’ll write the most important. I loved you from the first moment I felt you move inside me, and I love you still. Never doubt this, or how much you were wanted, and never be afraid to follow your heart, but do it wisely. It is a lesson I fear I learned too late.
Your loving mother
Joanna’s chest tightened, but there were no tears. There was too much regret for everything she and her mother had lost for her to cry. The childhood she might have had if her mother had lived teased her in the darkness, but she refused to entertain the sense of loss for too long. Joanna rested her head on her grandfather’s shoulder and he put his arm around her. She was grateful for the gift of the letter. For so many years she thought she hadn’t been wanted by her parents, but she’d been wrong.
‘Do you see now why I arranged the ball?’ her grandfather asked, his voice thick with tears.
‘I do.’ She stared down at the yellowed edges of the parchment resting on her lap and read the last line over and over.
Follow your heart, but do it wisely.
Her mother hadn’t regretted her time with her father, but the damage it had wrought. This, more than her desire for a coming-out ball, spoke to Joanna. In her mother’s words was the permission to pursue a life with Luke and how she might accomplish it. If she was smart in her choices, less impetuous in her decisions, and more willing to work to earn the approval of her grandfather than her mother had been, she might succeed in love where her mother had failed.
‘I think the ball will be lovely, but there is one thing I’d like to request.’ She sat back from her grandfather. Her fingers shook as she folded the letter and guilt gnawed at her over the stipulation she was about to place on her concession, but she must do it. If Luke was willing to fight for her, she must do the same for him instead of being afraid to act because of her worries. She would follow her heart, but in a way her mother had failed to do. ‘I should like you to invite the Inghams.’
Her grandfather started in surprise, and then his eyes began to narrow with his old hate. ‘I won’t have them here.’
Joanna braced herself and continued on. ‘You speak of making things right for your daughter and me. Now there’s one more thing that must be righted. This disagreement between the two families must end.’
‘I asked you not to see that man,’ he reprimanded, but she didn’t allow it to stop her this time.
‘I know.’ She took his hand and squeezed it gently. ‘But you’ve been so kind and generous to me over this past month and I want everyone, including the Inghams, to see what a loving and wonderful man you are.’
Her grandfather didn’t answer, but stared for a long moment at their intertwined fingers. In the silence, punctuated by the clack of the carriage over the cobblestones, she struggled to beat back her worry. She’d asserted herself and it remained to be seen how he would react.
At last he raised his face to hers. There was something stiff about his expression, a reluctance of sorts, but it clashed with his words, giving her hope. ‘You sound like your mother tonight. She used to be the peacemaker in the family when her mother was alive, until nothing could bring peace between us. You’re right, this feud has gone on too long. I will invite the Inghams and do what I can to put this rift behind us.’
‘Thank you, Grandfather.’ She kissed him on the forehead, her heart filled with a love and confidence she hadn’t experienced in a long time. She’d spoken up and the world hadn’t come crashing down on her. Instead, her courage had brought her grandfather and the Inghams closer to reconciling and opened the way for her happiness with Luke.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
‘Lord Helmsworth to see Major Preston,’ the Inghams’ butler announced.
Everyone set down their silverware and forgot the roast as they turned down the dinner table to stare at Luke.
‘It looks like you’ve finally succeeded with the old man. Well done,’ his father congratulated, lifting his wine goblet to Luke. ‘This is turning out to be quite a week.’
‘I wouldn’t be so quick to celebrate.’ Luke pushed back his chair and rose, wondering what had brought Lord Helmsworth here. Perhaps Joanna had worked her subtle charm on the old man, but he doubted it. Like a too-quiet morning before a battle, this unannounced guest made Luke wary.
‘Major Preston, what a pleasure it is to see you this morning,’ Lord Helmsworth offered with an overly wide smile as Luke entered the sitting room.
‘To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?’
‘I wish to speak with you about Miss Radcliff.’
The two of them remained standing, eyeing each other like a couple of cocks in a pit. Lord Helmsworth had lost some of the wildness of his appearance from the country. It was as if the Savile Row tailors had finally had a crack at him instead of the local ones from the village. It wasn’t so much his fine suit which made Luke pause, but the cat-who-ate-the-canary gleam in his eyes. ‘You see, I’m holding a ball in her honour in a few days and I’d be delighted if you and your family could attend.’
‘Delighted?’ He didn’t believe it.
‘Very much so because I think it’s time we finally put our differences aside. I’m prepared to deed to your family the disputed land on one condition.’
‘Which is?’
‘You must never see Joanna again after the ball.’
His offer nearly knocked Luke across the room with the same force as the cannonball that had once exploded too close to him. ‘You think my regard for her so slight I can be bought off?’
‘I know it was you she was dallying with at Vauxhall. You weren’t content to ruin her in the country, but wanted to compromise her here so that no man will have her. I’ll not have it and I will see to it she doesn’t make the same mistake her mother did.’
‘The only mistake she’ll make is walking away from what she wants because of someone else’s demands. I won’t let her do it, not for land or money or anything else you wish to throw at me.’
‘Then let me to appeal to your sense of honour and responsibility. If you continue in your pursuit of Joanna, I will not only withdraw the very generous dowry and inheritance I’ve settled on her, but my protection. I will return her to the school where she was raised and leave her to make her way in the world without me.’
Luke levelled a hard look at Lord Helmsworth. ‘How can you be so heartless?’
‘Because I had my heart ripped out once before and lost my only child and nineteen years with my granddaughter because of a scheming man like you. I can’t bear it again,’ he shouted, his eyes wild with hurt and his hands shaking at his sides.
His pain pierced Luke’s fury and he took a deep breath. He’d s
een so many men wounded without scars or physical injuries, their ability to endure hardship and horrors weakened by their experiences. The same suffering drove Lord Helmsworth to make this awful proposal and he pitied him. Luke addressed him as he would one of his soldiers afflicted by the mental anguish of war. ‘Joanna has a very generous heart with enough love for both of us. There’s no need to make her choose.’
Lord Helmsworth’s frenzied grief eased with Luke’s reassurance, and a long minute passed, filled by the laugh of a servant from somewhere in the house. It was clear the Marquis loved Joanna, but the past was blinding him so much he could no longer discern between events from twenty years ago and now. Luke hoped his compassion could convince the good man he remembered from the long-ago Christmas party to assert himself over the wounded one standing before him.
Then Lord Helmsworth jerked at his lapels, the stony façade of the titled man he’d always worn with Luke descending over him again. His pain had won in the struggle against his goodness. ‘I will if you force me to and it might not end the way you wish. She may choose me over you and then where will you be? Without the river. I know about your family’s debts. A few more bad harvests and they’ll overwhelm you until you’re forced to sell Pensum Manor. If that happens, it’ll be your fault.’ Lord Helmsworth removed a paper from his pocket and held it out to Luke. ‘Here’s the deed to the land. If you promise to walk away from her, I’ll give it to you today so your family may do with it as they please.’
Luke stared at the deed folded in on itself and tied with a slender red ribbon, struggling to find some way out of this ultimatum, but he couldn’t. He didn’t doubt Lord Helmsworth’s resolve to make good on his threat and place Joanna in a heartrending situation. Luke couldn’t be the means of her suffering or see the glow which had surrounded her at Vauxhall Gardens extinguished because of him. With Lord Helmsworth, she would have a comfortable life, all worries of money and a home vanquished. As a second son, Luke could offer her little except debts, or the hard life of an officer’s wife. Instead of managing a grand estate, she’d be trudging through the mud behind troops, exposed to disease or advancing armies, always worried he might not come back from the front and then she’d be left destitute, or reliant on the charity of his family who could barely afford to keep Pensum Manor. He couldn’t see Joanna in peril because of his own selfish wants. He’d regret what he was about to do, but he had no choice. He’d sworn to not make Joanna choose between him and her grandfather. He must keep his promise.