I’ve left his glorious length alone for long enough. I’m eager to give it my own variety of torment, with my fingers, lips and tongue. It’s waiting for me, the twitch as I bring my mouth close showing the delicious anticipation that’s making it stiffen even more. I run my tongue up and down the iron-hard shaft, letting my fingers play in the patch of hair at its base, and travel gently downwards to his balls, where I know he’s sensitive and where the touch of my fingers can make him stiffen and sigh and groan. I let my tongue play softly all around him, leaving the tip to endure its own agonising wait for the soft wet touch of my mouth. When I myself can’t wait any longer to enjoy the pleasure of wrapping my tongue over the hot smoothness, I take him into my mouth while my hand works hard on his shaft. He’s beginning to crave more force now, more pressure, to intensify the glorious sensations I’m giving him.
All this is having its effect on me too. I’m eager for some attention myself, my body, aroused and wet, needs it own adoration.
I shimmy my knickers off and lie along his body, my breasts pressed to his chest, his cock hard against my belly. He groans into my hair and says, ‘Beth, you’re so beautiful. I love you like this, so seductive, so gorgeous . . .’
‘I want you to make love to me,’ I say. ‘We’ve done lots of fucking, amazing fucking. Now, give me loving. I’m going to untie your hands, and I want you to show me how beautiful I am and what my body makes you feel.’
I reach up and pull the silk belt. It slides apart and Dominic’s hands are free. He takes my bottom in his hands and groans as he feels the soft cheeks in his palms. He rubs and squeezes them, saying, ‘This is so fantastic . . . I can never get enough of your gorgeous bottom.’
‘Do as I say,’ I whisper. ‘You know what I want.’
‘Your wish is my command,’ he replies, his gaze burning as he turns over onto his side. ‘Open to me, Beth.’
I let my legs fall open so that he can see what waits for him there. He immediately drops his head downwards so that he can kiss the swollen lips and lick at the slippery wetness, running his tongue over the sensitive bud of my clitoris and making me sigh with the delicious sensation.
‘You taste of honey,’ he murmurs. ‘Sweet . . .’
Just as I’m getting greedy for more of the gorgeous licking and nibbling, he changes his position, pulling me underneath him. Now he is strong and imposing as he uses his weight to push my thighs further apart, and get himself into position.
‘Do you want me?’ he asks, between hot kisses on my lips.
‘Yes,’ I say longingly.
‘Put your arms around me.’
I hadn’t wanted to touch his back, but now I obey, feeling the slight roughness of his wounds under my fingertips.
‘You’re making it all better,’ he whispers. Then he brings the head of his erection to the sweet place and begins to push his way in. ‘Your sweet loving is making it better.’
I can’t say anything because everything in me is focused on the blissful feeling of his thickness pushing slowly in and filling me up. I bring my hips up to meet him, urging him on deeper inside me. For long minutes we lose ourselves in the rhythm of his hip meeting mine, the back-arching moment of his cock going as far as it can into my depth, and the deep tonguing kisses.
Then, without our saying anything, our speed increases, the thrusts become longer and hard, as the desire to reach our climax begins to possess us. I wrap my legs around him so that I can push him even further within me, and make him grind against me in the way that is going to bring me the best kind of orgasm, where I am shaken both inside and out.
We don’t mean to reach our peak at the same time, but the mounting excitement building in each of us transmits to the other and drives us on to the next level. Dominic is breathing hard, his jaw is set in that particular way that means his orgasm isn’t far off.
‘Dominic,’ I say, my voice coming out like a moan. ‘Please, yes, don’t stop doing it just like that . . .’
‘I want you to come, my beautiful girl,’ he says.
That is all I need and as I stiffen around him, and my head goes back, my mouth opening in a cry of ecstasy, I know that he is coming too, releasing his hot orgasm into my centre. I convulse and shudder in wave after wave, until at last it dies away, leaving me breathless and dazed. Dominic is prone on my chest, panting hard after the strength of his climax.
As we recover, he says, ‘Oh my God, Beth, that was amazing.’ He laughs and runs kisses all over my face and neck, and for the first time in a long time, he looks truly happy. ‘Thank you.’
‘Thank you.’ I look at him and I know my eyes are shining.
He laughs again. ‘That was a most unexpected pleasure. I didn’t know I had a determined little mistress waiting for me up here.’
‘You don’t have to leave now, do you?’ I say, snuggling into him and relishing his delectable body. ‘Isn’t your driver waiting?’
Dominic checks his watch and sighs. ‘Yes, probably. I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you.’
A delicious warm feeling spreads over me. This is what I’d wanted from him – the loving to soothe the hurting.
‘But . . . I can’t. I’m sorry, my darling. I’ll have to leave in a minute.’
My heart sinks. ‘Do you really have to go?’
‘Yes. And I don’t know when I’ll be back.’
‘So – what does this mean . . . for us?’
Dominic slides me a look. ‘I take it you’re not back with Adam, then.’
‘No, no!’ I shake my head. ‘I never was. He came to see me and I told him it was all over. Honestly!’
He stares up the ceiling for a moment and then says slowly, ‘You know, Beth, all this is hard for me to take in. About an hour ago, I thought it was all over for us, and I was trying to get to grips with that, and with everything that’s happened. I know you’ve been in a lot of pain over it, but so have I.’ He turns on his side and looks at me. ‘To be honest, I still am. What happened between us, and what I did – well, it’s really shaken me.’
I reach out and stroke his hair. ‘But . . . it’s all right now, isn’t it? Now you know I still want you?’
He clutches my hand in his, and laughs, a tender, almost wistful laugh. ‘Oh, Beth. I wish it were all that simple. You see, I was terrified by what I did to you. I had no idea I was capable of that, of losing control in the way I did. I need to find out why it happened before I can trust myself around you again, do you understand?’ He comes closer to me and I see that his eyes are rich and chocolatey, not black at all. The long dark lashes around them are so beautiful, even more so when his eyes are sad as they are now. ‘If I don’t find out what made me act that way, and fix it, then there’s a very real danger I could do it again, and if I did that . . . well, I couldn’t bear it. I need to be sure you’ll be safe if you have a relationship with me.’
‘Of course I will be!’
‘I’m touched by your faith in me. But I don’t know if I share it.’
Anxiety flares inside me. ‘What do you mean? What are you going to do?’
‘I’m not sure. But before I come back here, I’ve got to face my demons and overcome them. I believe the darkness in me needs to be healed.’
‘You mean, your desire to dominate?’ I frown. ‘Is that the darkness?’
He shakes his head. ‘No – it isn’t that simple. It’s so complex I can’t understand it myself. Sex and love have been separate so long for me that it feels as though putting them back together has been seismic. It’s shifted something within me. I need to make sure everything is safe before I try again.’ He sighs. ‘You see, even when I made you punish me, I was making you do something you didn’t want to do. I understand that now, and it’s a hard truth to accept. My controlling impulse dominates me to such as extent that it’s beyond my control.’ He laughs softly at the irony. ‘I hope I’m making sense. It’s hard to explain. I don’t want to make promises to you, Beth, but, if you’ll wait for me while
I sort these things out, perhaps we can find out together if there’s a future for us.’
‘Of course I’ll wait,’ I say, though I can hardly bear the thought of our being separated. ‘But how long?’
He draws a pattern on my palm with his finger before he says, ‘I don’t know. Can you wait, Beth?’
‘Yes. As long as I have to.’
‘Thank you.’ He drops a kiss on my forehead. ‘We’ll stay in touch while I’m away. Look after yourself, won’t you?’
I nod. So the parting is coming after all. He’s leaving, going far away to somewhere I cannot follow. Perhaps he’ll come back changed. And if he overcomes that darkness he’s so afraid of, will he be the same Dominic? Or someone else entirely? I wrap my arms around him, suddenly frightened. ‘Don’t go! Please.’
He kisses me, very long and very sweetly. ‘I wish I could stay. But we’ll be together again, I promise.’ Then, gently, he unwraps my arms and slips away from my embrace. He get up and stares down at me, those beautiful eyes full of tenderness. ‘I will be back, Beth. Don’t forget me, will you?’
Forget you? As if I could.
‘I’ll never forget you,’ I breathe. ‘Goodbye, Dominic.’
Then I close my eyes, because it’s too painful to watch him dress and leave me. I feel the weight shift as he climbs off the bed, and hear him as he moves around the room, collecting his things and getting dressed. There is a painful ache behind my eyes and I know it’s the tears I’m fighting to keep in. When he’s ready to leave, he comes to the bed and kneels down. He takes my hand and wraps it in his own large one, and brings his face so close that he’s pressing his cheek to mine. I draw a small, shuddering breath and a tear escapes my tightly shut lids and runs down my nose.
‘Don’t cry, my Beth,’ he says, so softly and gently that I have use all my strength not to break down. He kisses away my tear and then brushes my lips with his. ‘We’ll speak soon.’
I can’t open my eyes. It’s too painful to watch him go. He lets go of my hand and I feel him move away from the bed and stand up. Then he is leaving, and my eyes open just in time to see his broad back and dark hair before the door closes behind him. After that, I hear the front door close with an awful finality.
So it’s happened. I close my eyes again, and blank out the boudoir. Instead the image of him standing next to me in the garden floats into my mind: he’s strong, happy and smiling. He’s telling me that something told him to come and find me, and here I am.
But he’s gone.
And now, my wait begins.
Acknowledgements
My thanks to all those at Hodder & Stoughton, particularly to my editor, Harriet, and copyeditor, Justine. Their encouragement helped so much.
My thanks to my agent and all at David Higham Associates.
I have been inspired by those who have the courage and imagination to live the lives they want, and who do so with respect for others. We all have a wonderful gift to enjoy: let us do so with careless restraint, sensible rapture and mindful pleasure.
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About the Author
Sadie Matthews is the author of six novels of contemporary women’s fiction published under other names. In her own work, she has described decadent worlds of heady escapism and high drama. This is her first novel to explore a more intimate and intense side of life and relationships. She is married and lives in London.
First published in Great Britain in 2012 by
Hodder & Stoughton
An Hachette UK company
Copyright © Sadie Matthews 2012
The right of Sadie Matthews to be identified as the Author of the
Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright,
Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any
means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be
otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that
in which it is published and without a similar condition being
imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance
to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978 1 444 76549 6
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Fire After Dark Page 28