by Nadia Lee
Bennie is parked on the couch. His neatly cropped brown hair is streaked with magenta, the color a sign of his rebellion against the ultra-staid administrators at his high school. Left to his own devices, he’d have longer hair with jagged edges, but the conservative Japanese prefer that he be more mainstream and clean-cut. The girls in his classes swoon over his dark brown eyes and chiseled looks, but they don’t know he has zero interest in women. Bennie isn’t leading-man handsome, but he is charming with a crooked half-smile and animated manners.
His pedicured feet bare, he is dressed in a pale gray long-sleeved cotton shirt and artfully frayed blue jeans that show off his body. He works out regularly to maintain his physique. In his hands is a phone. He’s busy texting, probably planning something for tonight.
“Hey. I got you an onigiri from 7-Eleven in case you were hungry,” he says, barely turning my way. His eyes briefly flick to the screen where Connery is beating the crap out of some bad guys.
“Thanks.” I go to the kitchen—just big enough for one person—and grab the triangle-shaped rice ball wrapped in a sheet of black seaweed. He got me the salmon one, which is my favorite. I take a bottle of sports drink from the fridge and sit next to him on the hand-me-down couch we got from an expat who was returning home.
“How was the trip?” Bennie asks, eyeing my wrinkled shirt and jeans.
“I’m…” I frown. “I don’t know. I saw Lucas.”
His eyes widen until it seems like they take up most of his face. “You saw who?”
Bennie knows plenty about Lucas since he was the one who patted my shoulders as I hunched over and cried my eyes out. He also has very strong opinions about Lucas now.
“Lucas.” I don’t bother to call him an “ex.” That’s reserved for men who I had real relationships with. “The guy from my fourth year at UVA.” I unwrap the food and start nibbling on it.
“Yeah, I remember. The guy who gave you the car. He’s here?”
“Chiang Mai. He was, uh, on my flight.”
His mouth hangs open. “Flying economy?”
I shake my head and give Bennie a condensed summary of how Lucas basically kidnapped me so we could “talk”.
“Wow. Two years later and he wants to have a conversation?” Bennie snorts.
“I don’t know what he wants. Closure, maybe? He freaked me out for a moment when he said I took something from him, but he didn’t bring it up again.”
“Holy shit.” Bennie lowers his voice. “Do you think he knows?”
“I don’t think so. I didn’t get that vibe.”
“Or maybe he doesn’t care. I mean, you think he might, but given the kind of man he is, he might be relieved you didn’t try to involve him or get any kind of financial support.”
My nails dig into my palms. “I’d rather die than take a penny from him.” Especially after his brother accused me of being a gold digger.
“You go, girl,” Bennie says. “Besides, who trusts a man who shows up after two years to talk? He can’t be up to any good.”
“I know, right? He even tried to make it sound like being photographed with that Faye woman was for my benefit.” I give him the gist.
“Oh my god. So typical. Bullshit with a capital B to gloss over all the things he did wrong and make you feel like shit for dumping him…when really you were totally justified in doing it! I saw Dad do that to Mom time after time. But no matter how horribly he hurt her, she could never leave him. It’s just”—he sighs, deflating slightly—“frustrating.”
I reach out and pat his hand. Bennie is continually upset about his parents. His father was quick to anger, alcohol an accelerant to his temper, and he swung his fists indiscriminately when he got mad. I was there one time when he sprained his hand. Not being able to make a fist, he used his feet.
But the day after… He was always such a gentleman the day after. It amazed me that he could be so…nice and apologetic.
“A punch isn’t the only thing that can hurt,” Bennie says. “There are other ways to inflict pain. They don’t leave any bruises, but they hurt more because they don’t heal as fast…or as completely.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. I feel responsible,” Bennie mutters, shoving fingers into his messy brown hair. “If it hadn’t been for me egging you on, you wouldn’t have slept with him.”
I flinch with shock. “That is so not true.”
“Yeah it is. You said you weren’t interested, but then I told you to live a little and screw him.” He heaves a sigh. “Should’ve known better.”
“Nobody knows the future. If we could, we’d all be millionaires.”
“Still…”
I raise an eyebrow. This is a little too strong of a reaction to my old romance gone wrong.
Bennie’s phone rings. He scowls at it but doesn’t pick up.
“Who is it?”
His lips purse. “Drew.”
“Soo…why aren’t you answering?”
Bennie and Drew are inseparable. Or were, anyway, until I left for Thailand. Then I recall how oddly Bennie behaved when we were on the phone earlier.
“It’s complicated.”
“Maybe I can make it less complicated.” I rest an elbow on the back of the couch and cup my chin in my hand. “Come on, talk to me. Is Drew upset that you’re going back to the States?”
“Like he has any reason to be mad. He’s going back to England.”
“What…? When was this decided?”
“Right after you left. Apparently, Mum wants him back home. He asked me to go with him, but I don’t know. Flying to Europe is expensive, and it seems ridiculous to go all the way there just to…” He shrugs.
“You might like it,” I say carefully.
“I heard it rains a lot. And the food isn’t that great. After having sushi and sashimi in this country, I don’t know about fish and chips.”
“Pretty sure that’s not all they eat. Besides, think about the good points. For one, they speak English.”
Bennie is terrible with languages. He still bemoans the fact that the locals in Osaka can’t speak English because he sure as heck isn’t learning Japanese. A few simple greetings are about all he can manage. It’s pretty incredible, given how social he is, and I’m sure it’s one of the reasons why he isn’t entirely happy here.
“That’s a plus…” He nods, but I suspect he’s merely trying to placate me. “I’m just not feeling confident about the whole thing.”
What the heck is this about? Bennie loves to go to new places. He’s the one who said we should get jobs in Japan.
“Are you sure?”
“I haven’t really decided yet. Drew thinks if I’m not going to be working at the school, I should go with him, but why should I? I’m not some boy toy he can just haul around.”
I don’t know what to say…and I don’t understand why Bennie’s acting like this. He adores Drew.
Bennie continues, “I’m just restless, that’s all. I may change my mind about going home anyway. I don’t have to tell my school until after New Year’s. Plenty of time to think things through.”
He closes his mouth and returns to the movie, but his eyes aren’t focused anymore. I finish my onigiri. He isn’t telling me everything, and it obviously has something to do with Drew. But what can it be? I’ve never once gotten an odd vibe from him, ever. In fact, he’s so nice that if he weren’t taken—and played for my team—I might’ve dated him myself.
I wash down my snack with the sports drink. “We still going out tonight?”
“Of course.” Bennie finally smiles. “There’s a new bar about fifteen minutes from here. We should check it out. Everyone says it’s pretty cool.”
“Great. You want to use the bathroom first, or should I?”
“Go ahead. I want to finish this movie.”
I get up, squeezing his shoulder to let him know I’m one hundred percent behind him. It’s the least I can do for my best
friend, and I hate it that I can’t do more.
Chapter Eight
Ava
The bar turns out to be worth the walk. The fact that it’s only fifteen minutes—on foot—is a bonus because in Japan you can’t even ride a bicycle after drinking. Outside hangs a simple white sign containing a black circle made with a single rough brushstroke and a highly stylized ideogram. Underneath are two English letters: WA.
The crowd is about twenty-five percent expat. The long, dark wooden counter and tables and stools are mostly occupied, and a group of young Japanese women in stylish outfits is playing pool. The sound system adds to the cheery atmosphere with a selection of Japanese and foreign songs.
Hips loose, Bennie moves toward the counter to get the attention of one of two bartenders, black canvas shoes treading along the faux wooden flooring. His light beige top and artfully frayed jeans showcase his tall frame, and more than a few women slant their eyes to check him out. If they only knew. He says something to the bartender and raises two fingers.
Looking at the way some of the women are dressed, I’m glad I’m in my new dark crimson number and black ankle boots. I got the thigh-length dress on sale last month, and Bennie insisted I wear it out at least once before the weather gets too cold.
A couple of Japanese men at the counter are leaving and I snag their seats. Bennie quickly comes over with two bottles of Asahi Super Dry. “To your new adventure,” he says. We clink bottles.
“I haven’t decided yet, but…”
“As if. You’re totally gonna go.”
I smile, but I honestly have no clue what I’m going to do. I take a quick sip of the cold beer, then look around. “Not bad.”
“I know, right?” He flips through the menu. “Hmm… How about chicken fingers and fries? I need some junk food in my life.”
“Go ahead and get it. I’m hungry.”
I flag a bartender and give him our order. He nods.
I sense a few gazes on me, but shrug them off. I’m sort of used to it at this point. Platinum blond with blue eyes has its advantages and disadvantages in Asia. One of the latter is that people sometimes stare. I even had a child touch my hair, then flee when I turned around.
“Hallo, Bennie.”
Bennie’s shoulders tense as an arm wraps around him. Drew lowers his head and whispers into Bennie’s ear—probably something embarrassingly sweet. Drew’s dark brown hair looks exceptionally soft under the warm glow of recessed lights in the bar. But he pulls back pretty quickly and frowns at Bennie.
“Something wrong?”
“No.” My roommate pastes on a smile. “I was just surprised. I didn’t know you were going to be here.”
Drew’s frown deepens. “We did agree to meet here on Thursday…”
“Right. We did.”
“You weren’t answering my calls or texts, so I thought perhaps you were ill or some such.” Drew turns to me. “Ava. Back in town already? I had no idea, or I would’ve called you instead to make sure our lad here was all right.”
“Just got back.” I smile to hide my unease. I do not want to get between the two of them when I can’t even manage my own personal life.
Drew is the same age as Bennie—twenty-five—and has high cheekbones in a slightly narrow face. His sharply defined features make him almost pretty, and his eyes are the color of a deep lake on a sunny summer day. His body is leanly muscled from regular workout sessions, and the black shirt and slacks hint at the nice physique underneath.
To top it off, he’s smart—graduated top of his class at Cambridge. I don’t know why he’s teaching English in Osaka when his degree could open a lot of more lucrative doors in England.
“I left my phone in my room and totally forgot,” Bennie lies. “Sorry.”
“’s okay, love.”
Drew keeps his arm around Bennie’s shoulders, and Bennie sends me a look full of pleading.
What does my best friend want me to do? If Drew did something wrong, maybe I could yell at him, but it doesn’t look like he’s done anything. He’s just being his usual affectionate self.
Bennie stands up. “Potty break. Back in a flash.” He pulls away from Drew and disappears down a small hallway in the back.
“Is he really all right?” Drew asks me.
“I guess,” I say carefully. Every word feels like a potential mine—for me to step on and betray my friend somehow. “Why?”
“Seems a bit off.”
“He probably has a lot of things on his mind. Hey, I got the job in Thailand.”
A genuine smile splits Drew’s face. “Excellent. Congratulations.”
“Thank you, but…” I tilt my head in the direction Bennie disappeared to.
“He doesn’t want you to go.”
Did Bennie tell Drew about his own potential decision to move back home? I can’t remember. “He probably doesn’t want to be alone in Osaka.”
God, I’m going to go to hell for this. I hate misleading a guy as nice as Drew.
“Yeah, I completely understand. I’m also returning to England.” He purses his lips. “I asked Bennie if he wanted to visit with me, but he refuses to discuss the matter.”
“Wow. That’s unusual because he told me he’d love to travel more. I’d love to have a local person guiding me when I go to another country.”
Damn it. I need to stop babbling. I turn to my beer. If I’m drinking, I can’t talk.
“Would you like to come along then?” Drew asks suddenly, leaning closer.
“What?”
“You can come with Bennie if that’d make him feel better.”
Oh crap. I take a long swallow of Asahi, then thank the bartender profusely when he places the platter of chicken and fries in front of me. Anything to buy some time.
Finally I say, “I don’t know if I can afford it. My foster parents are pressuring me to come home this holiday.”
Not that I’ve decided to go or not. But if Bennie doesn’t want to visit England for whatever reason, I don’t want him to have to. Picking up a piece of chicken, I make a mental note to check airfares to the States for the year end, hoping there are a few cheap tickets left to grab. I hate putting stuff on credit and paying the exorbitant interest.
Drew waves away considerations as mundane as expenses. “No need to worry about that. Everything would be fully paid, for both of you. Just show up and be your usual cheery selves.”
The chicken forgotten, I stare at him. “You can’t be serious.”
“As the proverbial cardiac arrest,” he says.
“I…” Drew is a teacher just like us, and it isn’t like he has the seniority to draw a bigger salary than we do. So where is he getting the money to fund everyone?
I put the chicken down and take another long swallow of beer. I can’t process why he’s doing this. “I don’t know… Going to England—”
“Won’t be possible,” comes Lucas’s cold voice.
Shit. The beer goes down the wrong way, and I start coughing.
“Lucas,” I gasp as he pats my back with a surprisingly gentle hand.
Even as I sputter, it feels good to have him touch me. The spot on my back tingles, a heat that has nothing to do with the alcohol slowly spreading through my body.
Dear lord. I’m in trouble.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I manage to rasp. “Shouldn’t you be back in America by now?”
Which is precisely where he belongs. But no, he’s here—in this small bar in Osaka—in person.
His dark brown hair is slightly damp, as though he’s just gotten out of the shower or been rained on. Since it’s clear today, my money’s on the shower. A dark gray button-down shirt and black slacks add an austere harshness to his presence.
He smells fresh and clean with a hint of soap, and my heart picks up its tempo as liquid warmth pulses through me. I don’t understand why something as ordinary as soap can smell so incredible on him…and turn me on. My hands curl into fists so I don’t do something stupid
like bury my nose into the crook of his neck and inhale.
Drew cocks his head. “Do we know you?” The tone is mild, but there’s something underneath that isn’t.
“You don’t.” Standing behind me, Lucas rests his hand on my nape, and my entire body prickles with needle-sharp awareness. “But Ava does, and I say she won’t be going to England or anywhere else with you.”
Drew stands up, his eyes on Lucas. “Ava, are you actually friends with this person?”
How I want to say, “No, throw him out,” but I know better. Lucas isn’t the type to just let people boss—or toss—him around, and he has means and connections. Google says that his half-sister is on a first-name basis with the ambassador of Japan and often entertains equally important people. He could probably get all of us deported just for embarrassing him.
“I knew him back in the States,” I say neutrally.
Drew narrows his eyes. Hostility is positively pouring off him. “Is that so?”
Lucas arches the eyebrow, then dismisses Drew like he’s a candy wrapper. “Ava, we didn’t finish our earlier conversation.”
Is he serious? I’m about to tell him there’s no way we can continue the conversation unless I have a lobotomy, but his hand tenses around the back of my neck. Not forcefully enough to hurt, but enough to admonish.
“We can either talk here or someplace more private.”
I sigh. “More private.”
“Good choice,” he murmurs so only I can hear him. The hand slides down to my back, creating a trail of fire.
I get up. “Drew, I have to go. Tell Bennie I’ll see him at home.”
“Ava, pet.” He’s still looking daggers at Lucas. “You needn’t talk to anybody you don’t want.”
“It’s all right.” I give him a quick hug, feeling Lucas’s scorching gaze on us. “I’ll see you later, Drew.”
Chapter Nine
Lucas
Taxis are everywhere in Japan. I hail one and instruct the driver to take us to the luxury hotel the Centurion Concierge booked for this impromptu stay. I can sense Ava glaring at me in the twilight of the cab’s backseat.
“I said someplace private, not your hotel room.” Her voice is low but no less forceful for it.