by Lois Richer
Did her green eyes brighten? Her cheeks certainly turned a deeper shade of pink.
“Yes, well, I have a bit of an addiction to coffee,” she confessed, her face averted.
It wasn’t just because Maddie was lovely and gentle and sweet that he enjoyed getting to know her. It was all that and something more, something Jesse couldn’t explain. He wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship or any kind of involvement. But he was looking forward to broadening their friendship.
“I don’t think addictions can be quantified as a bit,” he teased, and laughed at her wince. “Fess up, lady. You’ve got a big obsession for coffee.”
“I love coffee. Especially latte macchiatos. There. I said it. Are you happy?” Maddie being feisty was even more intriguing.
“Will you laugh if I tell you something?” Jesse asked sotto voce.
Her eyes widened when he leaned toward her. Her whole face was animated and her dark hair shimmered in the sunlight.
“I won’t laugh, I promise. What is it?”
“After last night I was afraid you were a tea granny. You see, I only do tea with Gran or when there’s no coffee.” He couldn’t suppress his burst of amusement at the relief flooding her face. He inhaled the aroma from his cup. “This makes the drive perfect.”
But it wasn’t just the coffee. Away from Noah, Maddie relaxed, laughed and smiled more. She’d removed the lid from her cup and Jesse smothered his grin when a sip left a puffy little cream mustache above her lips.
“You do realize that what you’re drinking is not real coffee.” Jesse enjoyed the way her green eyes expressed her mood. Right now they darkened with warning. “Latte macchiato means stained milk, so you’re drinking mostly warm milk with a little espresso.”
“It’s mostly delicious and way better than that plain old regular double you’re drinking.” She defended herself with a mischievous grin.
“I’m looking forward to teaching you the delights of real coffee, Maddie McGregor.” To that and a lot of other interactions.
She glanced at him, then concentrated on negotiating the car through the twists and turns of construction before finally pulling up in front of the departure doors.
“Thanks a lot for the ride,” he said, before swallowing the last of his coffee.
“Please give Emma my love and tell her not to worry. I’ll do my very best at the store. She must concentrate on recovering.” Maddie handed him a small flowered box he guessed was candy. “Please give her that and my love.” Her amazing smile hit him like a jolt of electricity.
“Will do,” he promised.
“When I pick you up tonight I want to hear all about her,” she added. “Your return flight lands here at nine.” The last sounded like a question.
“I’ll be back,” he promised. “But Maddie, you don’t have to—”
A horn sounded loud and long behind them.
“I’ll be here, Jesse,” she promised, then shifted the car into gear, waiting for him to exit. “Your ticket’s at the counter.”
“Thank you, Maddie,” he said, as he climbed out. “For everything.”
She waved before driving away.
As they took off Jesse peered through the airplane window, watching the pink adobe houses that dotted the desert valley beneath dip away. He would enjoy coming back.
Because of Maddie?
You’re not getting involved. Remember?
* * *
Maddie sat outside the airport terminal waiting for Jesse, wondering if it was too forward to have insisted on picking him up.
“That sign says we can only stay here five minutes,” Noah warned. “Then we’ll be breaking the rules.”
“I don’t think we’ll have to wait—” She broke off, struggling to stem her excitement as Jesse emerged. “There he is.”
Why excitement? He was just a friend.
“Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” Jesse climbed inside her car and tossed a smile over one shoulder. “Hey, Ark Man.”
“Hi, PBX.” Noah lost his stressed look.
Jesse chortled as Maddie pulled into traffic. Then she asked, “How’s Emma?”
“Spitting mad.” He chuckled. “She just bought that car—eleven years ago,” he added in a droll tone.
“I can almost hear her.” Maddie giggled. “She always talks about Beastie the car as if it’s brand-new. Not that it’s nice to have your car demolished in an accident, but—”
“Oh, it’s not just the car.” Jesse grinned. “She’s also mad that her passenger got hurt, even if it was only bumps and bruises.”
“What happened, anyway?” Maddie sobered at the thought of Emma hurt.
“Drunk driver.” Jesse squeezed his eyes closed for a moment. “She was very fortunate.”
“I know Emma,” Maddie said gently. “And I’m quite sure she didn’t give good fortune the credit for her survival.”
“No. She’s certain God saved her life because He has things for her to do. She’ll be back before we know it.” The way Jesse looked at her now made Maddie squirm. “When Gran returns she’s going to press you hard to buy Quilt Essentials. This accident made her realize she has a long list of things to accomplish. She feels she must sell the store to have time to do them.”
“Oh, but I can’t buy...” Panicked, Maddie kept her eyes forward and swallowed hard. “I’m not a businessperson, Jesse. I’m trying to help her out, but I don’t know anything about actually running a business.”
“Gran says you know more than she does about quilts,” he responded.
“That’s only because I had a grandmother who taught me every quilting thing she knew.” Maddie felt a rush of warmth at the memories. “My mother died when I was eight. When he had a job my dad would leave me with my grandmother. We had the grandest times. I guess that’s why I love quilting, because it takes me back to that joy.”
“She’s gone now?” Jesse asked quietly.
“Yes.” The depth of that loss still got to Maddie sometimes.
“And your father?”
“He died, too.” She couldn’t help the harsh way it came out. “Right after I got married.”
“So you had only your husband to lean on.”
How to answer that?
“I have Noah now.” Maddie glanced in her son’s direction. “He and I lean on each other.”
“That’s good.” Jesse chatted with Noah for the rest of the drive to Emma’s tidy adobe house.
“I need to get Noah home, but first I’ll show you what to do for the puppies.” Maddie switched off her car and pushed open her door. “I warn you, they’ll probably wake up to eat at least a couple of times tonight. It’s a good thing you don’t have to start at Wranglers Ranch for a few days.”
She inhaled the scent of Emma’s blooming rose garden as they walked toward the house, but quickly turned back when Noah called out. She was surprised to see his whitened face.
“Are you sick, honey?” she asked in concern, remembering he’d acted oddly the last time she’d brought him over to check on the dogs.
“Do I have to go in?” he asked.
“I don’t want you sitting out here alone.” Maddie opened his car door. “You can help us with the puppies.”
Noah made a face then left the car to trail reluctantly behind them to the house. With a sigh of resignation, Maddie unlocked the door.
“What’s wrong?” Jesse asked in a hushed tone when her son quickly veered toward the living room.
“Noah’s never comfortable with anything that disrupts his usual patterns,” she murmured as she switched on the lights. “I think the puppies scare him.”
“Oh.” Jesse studied Noah for a moment before asking, “Where are they?”
“In the laundry room.” She raised her voice. �
�Come and help, Noah.”
Glowering, the boy slowly walked toward her.
“I’m sure Jesse wants to rest, but if I show him what to do then he can get a few hours of sleep before the next feeding. If you help us, we’ll finish quicker. Okay?” She waited for his reluctant nod. “Go with Jesse into the laundry room.”
Noah still hung back, so after a moment Maddie drew him forward, trying to ease his nervousness as the tiny animals mewled around Jesse’s feet.
“First we must change the papers.” With Jesse’s help she rolled up the floor covers and placed them in a bag, which Noah carried outside to the garbage. When he returned he had to be coaxed to help lay new ones, and would do so only after he’d folded them into triangles. Frustrated and weary, Maddie simply said, “Now we need to get their food ready.”
She had done this only once, with the caregiver, but she pretended confidence as she demonstrated to Jesse how to prepare the formula the animal shelter had provided.
“Now for the fun part. Feeding.” She smiled at her son. “Who’s first?”
“Me.” Jesse sat, leaned his back against the wall and cradled the tiniest furry body. “Hungry, are you, little one?” he cooed tenderly as he coaxed the puppy to latch on to the bottle. “That’s right. Eat. But not too fast.” He chuckled as the animal ignored his advice and greedily sucked the fluid.
“Your turn, son.” Maddie touched Noah’s shoulder, found it rigid. She didn’t want to embarrass him, but—
“You gotta help me with these guys, Noah. After all, you’re the Ark Man, in charge of animals.” With his toe, Jesse nudged a pup closer to him. “Aren’t they cute?”
Maddie had had little success involving Noah when they’d been here previously, but she persisted now because she so wanted him to have this experience.
“Come on, son. We’ll do it together.”
Attempts to engage Noah were not a success. He pulled away every time she tried to hand him a hungry pup. It was only when Jesse cupped his hands around Noah’s and kept them there as Maddie set the next puny animal in them that her son finally cradled a puppy. His body stiffened at the touch of the claws, and he seemed frozen until Jesse began to speak in a calming, intimate tone.
“Good work, Ark Man,” he murmured. “They’re too little to hurt you, but they’re hungry, so they claw to try to get the food faster. You have to hold their little feet so they can’t scratch you.”
Under Jesse’s encouraging tutelage and effusive praise, Noah slowly relaxed and finally got the puppy drinking. Afraid she’d give away her delight at this big step in Noah’s personal growth, Maddie left them to it while she retrieved the groceries she’d bought before she drove to the airport. She thought Jesse might want to have a warm drink before what she was certain would be a long night, so she set the kettle to boil and left a can of the hot cocoa mix that Emma preferred on the counter.
When Noah finally emerged from the laundry room, Maddie couldn’t believe the transformation in her child. He looked—well, maybe not happy, but as if he’d overcome a barrier.
“They’ve all eaten, Mom,” Noah told her. “I fed two.”
“Well done.” Maddie mouthed a thank-you to Jesse, who stood behind him.
“It’s not bad once you get used to their claws,” Noah mused.
“When we were here before you didn’t even like them near you. What’s different?” she asked curiously.
“Jesse said they’d die if we didn’t help. He said God put people in charge of animals, so it’s our job to help them.” Noah’s face scrunched up as he thought about it. “Jesse said the puppies make that noise ’cause their stomachs hurt ’cause they’re hungry. I didn’t want them to feel like my stomach does when it needs dinner.”
“What kind of feeling is that?” Maddie asked. She’d never heard him speak so long.
To her surprise, Noah looked directly into her eyes. “Hurting.”
“I see.” A bit misty-eyed at this revelation from her often uncommunicative son, Maddie touched his shoulder. “I’m very proud of you for caring about the puppies, Noah.”
“I’m the Ark Man, in charge of animals.” His chest puffed out. He glanced at Jesse. “We’re the caregivers.”
“Yes, we are.” Jesse held up his hand to high-five Noah, and after a moment the boy slowly returned the greeting. “We made up the middle-of-the-night feedings, too. Your very smart child figured I wouldn’t have to stay up for so long if they were ready.”
“Good thinking,” she praised, privately noting that the former minister looked more tired than her young son. “I boiled the kettle if you want some cocoa. And there’s a snack if you’re hungry. I’m sure you know where everything is better than I do, so we’ll get going home.”
“That’s nice of you.” Jesse handed Noah a cookie, then bit into one himself. “Thank you.”
“You’ll set an alarm?” At his questioning look, she added, “So you won’t sleep past the feeding time.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“Caregivers don’t forget, right, Jes—I mean PBX?” Noah almost grinned.
“Never, Ark Man.” He and Noah shared a look that brought a lump to Maddie’s throat.
I don’t know how Jesse’s accomplished this, but please, don’t let him leave just when Noah’s finally beginning to come out of his shell.
Seeing the pair studying her with odd looks, she blushed, faked a cough, then said, “So we’ll be off. Have a good rest, Jesse. I’ll come and check on you and the puppies on my way to work tomorrow morning. Okay?”
Jesse nodded, but he didn’t answer.
“Good night, then.” She picked up her bag and shepherded Noah toward the door.
“Maddie?”
“Yes?” She stopped to face Jesse.
“Thank you. For everything. From me and from Gran, for the flowers you ordered for her, the encouraging note and for looking after her business. We appreciate it.” Jesse’s gentle blue eyes rested on her with an odd look that brought butterflies to Maddie’s stomach.
He’s just being friendly.
“Emma is our friend. So are you. Noah and I want to help both of you however we can.” She said good-night once more then ushered Noah out the door and into the car.
As she drove away she noted that Jesse remained in the doorway, backlit by the lamps she’d switched on earlier to make the house feel homey.
“Mom?”
“Yes, Noah?” Maddie knew what was coming.
“I really like Jesse.”
“Me, too, son. He’s a good friend.”
“Do you think Dad would be mad that I like him?” Worry seeped through Noah’s quiet voice.
“What do you think?” Maddie temporized, having no ready answer.
Silence stretched for a long while.
“I think that if Dad knew Jesse, he would like him.” Noah’s voice gained confidence as he spoke. “Jesse talks about God all the time, about what He wants us to do and what Jesus would do. That’s kind of like Dad, isn’t it?”
Jesse was nothing like Liam. But Maddie didn’t say that. Noah had taken an important step, made a new friend. Now, thanks to that dratted list of rules, he was having second thoughts.
“Is it wrong to be friends with Jesse, Mom?” His doubts made her rush to respond.
“No, son. Being friends with Jesse certainly isn’t wrong.” She hated feeling so defensive, then suddenly remembered a Bible verse from long ago. “The Bible says God directs our paths. I think God brought Jesse into our lives and He wouldn’t do that if it was wrong, would He?”
“No. I remember Dad said God never does wrong things.” Noah heaved a sigh. “That’s good. Because I really like Jesse.”
“Why?” Maddie asked, curious as to how Jesse had been able to reach Noah when many others
had failed.
“He doesn’t make me feel weird. Maybe I am kinda weird,” Noah admitted thoughtfully. “But when I’m with Jesse I feel like he’s okay with me being weird and then that helps me be okay with it, too.”
Acceptance. That’s exactly what Jesse had offered her, as well, Maddie mused as she drove onto her land. It was the one thing her father and Liam had never offered, the one thing she so desperately craved. To be accepted for who she was, faults and all.
To feel worthy of being loved.
When Noah was in bed, Maddie sat on her deck, staring into the desert as she organized her schedule in her mind. She was the longest-serving employee at Quilt Essentials. Emma had left her in charge, so keeping the store running was up to her. There were many things to think about.
Immediately, her body tightened with tension and fear took hold. What if she messed up? What if she did something so wrong that it cost Emma a lot of money to fix? What if Jesse was sorry he’d said he trusted her?
You need a protector, Madelyn. You’re not smart enough to be trusted with anything important.
While she stared into the night sky, Liam’s denigrations played over and over, until fear held her firmly in its grip.
“I can’t do it, God. Liam was right. I don’t know how to run a business,” she confessed, pouring out her deepest heart, as Emma always urged. “I’m not good at being responsible.”
She’ll come back to find you’ve made her business better than ever. Gran trusted you enough to leave you in charge while she went away. My grandmother believes in you, Maddie. So do I.
Maddie stared at her solar butterfly for a long time. Then she took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, pushing out doubt and drawing in courage. Gaining confidence was her goal. Okay, this was the time to prove herself. With God’s help, she would do this and finally repay sweet, generous Emma for all those times she’d listened and encouraged when Maddie had so desperately needed a friend.
Somehow it was reassuring to know that her new friend Jesse would also be there for her if she asked. But Maddie would do that only if she absolutely had to, because her days of being weak and needy were over. Hadn’t she put away the romantic, girlish dreams she’d clung to all those years she’d been married to Liam?