by Lois Richer
“I—”
“You’ve got what it takes to make Gran’s store better than it’s ever been, and I’m going to keep telling you that until you believe it.” He grunted as he shoved the carts ahead of him. “Now will you please show me how to steer this thing so I don’t run down someone in the parking lot?”
Maddie studied him for a moment, then grinned. “You have to take off the brake,” she explained with a chuckle. Something he couldn’t describe flickered in her green eyes. “Thanks for the encouragement, Jesse.”
“You’re welcome.” He made a production of getting the supplies into the store, but privately he thought he’d never had more fun. Maddie blushed at his outrageous teasing, peeked to see if the other two women noticed and told him to hush a couple of times. When everything was inside and the carts returned, he held out his palm. “Keys, please.”
Maddie handed them over.
“You’re absolutely sure you’re okay with me driving your car?” he said seriously.
“I’m very okay with it,” she told him. “Unless you’re not back by three o’clock.”
“I’ll be here,” he promised. “Have fun, ladies,” he called.
Jesse drove away, surprised to note when he turned the corner to leave the lot that Maddie was still standing in the doorway where he’d left her, staring after him.
“Probably worried about me wrecking her car,” he muttered.
But he knew that wasn’t true. Maddie wasn’t just beautiful. She was intelligent and kind and very generous. Who, he wanted to know, had tried to make her think she was less than that?
He needed to know so that he could be a good friend.
* * *
“You can’t work if you’re feeling ill, Jayne. I’ll cover your shift.” How? Maddie didn’t say that into the phone. Instead she said, “I hope you feel better soon.”
A moment later she hung up, focused on finding a way to deal with this newest problem. Staffing was by far her most difficult issue in managing Emma’s shop.
Customers kept her busy for the next few hours, so that when she finally glanced at the clock on the wall she was stunned to notice it was ten to three. She would be able to pick up Noah by using the time as her lunch break, but there was no way she could be absent for the extra hour and a half needed for her son’s swimming lesson.
I’m trying to help Emma, God. I’m trying to trust You. Can’t You help me?
A customer interrupted her prayer and Maddie became engrossed in showing the woman how to rate the color values of various fabrics for her new quilt project. Only when that client left the shop did Maddie notice Jesse standing near the door, watching her.
“Hi.” Why was she so glad to see him? She waited behind the counter as he approached her. “I didn’t notice you come in.”
“I’m not surprised. You were completely focused on helping your customer.” He checked his watch. “When do you need to pick up Noah?”
“Now.” She snatched her bag from under the counter, told her second in command that she was leaving and hurried toward the door which Jesse held open. “Thanks.”
“Mind if I tag along?” he asked.
“Sure.” Though Maddie was surprised by his request, she didn’t have time to question it. He’d parked directly in front of the store so it took mere seconds to get in, buckle her seat belt and back out. “I can hardly wait to email Emma that the store is busy. We even had to find extra room for a class today and then it was bedlam.”
“Bedlam? In a quilt store?” He looked unconvinced.
“Utter bedlam,” Maddie assured him with a grin. “After a class, people always seem inspired and eager to shop for their next project. It’s a good thing we have the new spring stock arriving every day because we need it. Some of the kids’ lines—” Realizing she was babbling, she broke off to focus on her driving. “Sorry. I get carried away sometimes.”
“It’s nice to listen to you talk about your work,” Jesse said. “You get this fervor in your voice that says you enjoy what you do.”
“I do,” she assured him. “Who wouldn’t love working in such a wonderfully creative atmosphere?”
“Then why don’t you buy out Emma? Or at least go into a partnership with her?” Jesse’s warm gaze studied her. “You’re obviously a natural.”
“Are we back on that again?” She shot him an arched look.
“Why not? It’s a valid question,” he retorted.
“It’s true that I love fabrics and quilting. And I love sharing what I know.” Maddie allowed herself to dream, just for a second, that she owned Quilt Essentials. Then she quickly shook her head. “But I wouldn’t be a success at running the store.”
Jesse frowned. “Why not? You managed today.”
“A few days don’t make me qualified to run a business.”
“But you’ve run it on several occasions when Gran was away, right? You didn’t have any problems, did you?” The intensity of his stare made her nervous.
“No, but I always knew she was coming back. Emma does the ordering. She has a personal relationship with our suppliers and she’s developed a good rapport to get just the right blend of stock. I don’t have connections like that.” Maddie glanced at the clock and hoped Noah was busy with his video game and hadn’t noticed she was running behind. She felt guilty, because she usually prayed he’d spend less time with the machine and more time interacting with people, and today it was her fault he wasn’t.
“You build connections by being in business,” Jesse countered.
“Besides that, Emma keeps a running mental tally of what we’ve sold each day. I’m not that clever with numbers.”
“You mean...” Jesse thought for a minute. “Like, you haven’t balanced the cash register these past few days?”
“Yes, of course I have.” Maddie felt indignant at his implication. “We balance to the penny. Every day. It’s mostly credit card receipts, anyway, so it’s not hard.”
“Then what do you mean, you’re not good with numbers?” he asked.
“It takes a lot more than balancing a till to run a business.” Maddie could tell he wasn’t going to stop asking questions, so she began enumerating. “There’s stock to purchase—not too much and hopefully not the wrong kind because we could get stuck with poor choices that don’t sell and then we’d lose money.” She glanced at him as she continued.
“Okay.” His face encouraged her to continue.
“You also have to know the trends, keep in touch with what’s happening in the quilting world, innovations, et cetera. There are wages to pay, overhead, taxes, lawyers, accountants and staff schedules.” She was out of breath. “Running a business is complicated.”
“So you’ve thought it through pretty thoroughly.” Jesse pinned her with a look. “Emma has a bookkeeper to help her. No reason you couldn’t do the same. I think you’re pretending to have a lot less skill than you do. Or that you’ve listened to someone who wanted you to think that.”
Maddie frowned. What did he mean? Had Emma said something—but no, she knew her friend would guard whatever secrets she’d been told, although Maddie had never disclosed details of her troubled marriage. She’d been too ashamed.
“I think you’d make a very good business owner, Maddie. But I guess if you don’t want to do it...” Jesse shrugged.
“It’s not that. I’d love to buy Quilt Essentials and have my own business.” Maddie couldn’t stop the passionate words from blurting out. “It would be something of my own, something that I could make work, could build on.”
A way to prove I’m not the airhead Liam always said I was.
But that negative thought drowned under the plethora of ideas filling her mind. If she let them, the ideas would grow into fantastic dreams, but Maddie seldom allowed those dreams to progress. She stopped
them now, as she always did, because she’d learned that there was no point in dreaming.
“So why don’t you do it?” Jesse asked. “Where’s your faith?”
“I’m afraid faith isn’t something I have much of,” she admitted, with a quick glance over her shoulder before she turned. “It’s hard to trust God when it feels like He doesn’t answer.”
She expected Jesse to counter her comment with something ministerly, to tell her that God always answered, or some similar response. To her surprise he remained silent, his face thoughtful as he stared through the windshield. She wondered if he’d ever experienced the same unanswered doubts as she had.
Jesse Parker’s faith is none of your business, an inner voice chided. Maddie swallowed a rush of shame that her thoughts were getting so personal about this man she barely knew. A glance at the clock made her catch her breath.
“You cannot be late,” she muttered to herself, forced to brake because of the driver in front.
“A few minutes won’t make that much difference,” Jesse said. He took a second look at her, frowned and asked, “Will it?”
“Yes.” She didn’t intend to explain, but he kept looking at her so she finally said, “Noah’s autism makes him very conscientious about scheduling. It upsets him when there are unplanned changes in his day. In his mind there’s an order for everything and disrupting that order throws him off-kilter. He gets angry and uncomfortable.”
“Ah. That explains his adherence to his father’s rules.” That thoughtful look again filled Jesse’s face.
“Today’s going to really throw him off because not only am I late picking him up, but I’ll have to cancel his swimming lesson,” she said with a frown as she turned toward Wranglers Ranch.
“Why?”
“One of Emma’s staff phoned in sick. Two are on holiday and one is off on maternity leave. We’re really shorthanded. I’ll have to fill in the late afternoon shift.”
“Added on to the day you’ve already worked?” Jesse frowned when she nodded. “I guess you can do that once in a while in a pinch, but it sounds to me like Quilt Essentials needs to hire more staff.”
“We do. Emma was going to work on that when she returned. Now it will have to wait.” Maddie couldn’t get near Wranglers’ main house where she thought Noah would be. She had to take another spot farther away. She could see Noah leaning against the fence, fidgeting, head down, shoulders hunched in the bustling midst of other more exuberant kids who were probably either beginning or ending a camp. He didn’t even notice she’d arrived. “Oh dear.”
She’d barely slid her fingers around the door handle to open it when Jesse touched her arm. “Maddie?”
“Yes?” She didn’t want to stop and talk, but good manners prevented her from ignoring him.
“I could take Noah to his lesson, and back to Emma’s house afterward,” he offered. “I’d feed him supper so you wouldn’t have to worry about getting back for that.”
She wanted to say yes so badly. But Jesse was a stranger and Noah struggled with the unfamiliar.
“I don’t think he’d go for it,” she said, forcing a smile as she declined. “But thank you for offering. Excuse me. I need to get him.”
Maddie hurried toward her son, her heart aching at his obvious confusion. She called his name when she got closer, but he didn’t look up. When she arrived she didn’t hug him as most parents would have. She wanted to, so desperately, but she knew Noah would shrink back. Physical contact wasn’t something he needed as much as she did. In fact, touching made him antsier, so aside from a morning and evening hug, Maddie controlled her longing to hold him close.
“You weren’t here.” Noah’s whisper barely penetrated the din around them.
“I know. I’m sorry I was late. Jayne called in sick at the last minute.” Maddie shepherded him toward the car.
“Will she be okay?” Noah asked. When she nodded and opened the back car door, he stepped inside, pausing halfway when he saw Jesse. “Oh.”
“I came along for the ride.” Jesse flashed his Hollywood grin at Noah. “What’s up, Doc?”
There was a pause. Noah frowned. “Huh?”
Maddie knew he didn’t understand Jesse’s colloquialism.
“Jesse means how’s it going.” She shot an apologetic look at her passenger, then when Noah didn’t respond, clarified further. “He’s asking how you are, honey.”
“That isn’t what he said.” Noah buckled his seat belt as he thought about it, then responded. “I am well, thank you.”
“Oh. Good.” Jesse blinked at the very formal response.
“Noah, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to miss swimming today.” Maddie drove between the ranch gates and into traffic, dreading upsetting him.
“I don’t have an excuse to miss my lesson, so that would be rude.” Noah’s face tightened as he repeated another of his father’s rules. “You never miss an appointment unless you’re sick or in an accident.”
“This is something like that. Jayne is sick and that means I have to cover her shift, so I can’t take you to the pool today,” she reiterated. “I’m so sorry, son.”
“But I have my suit and towel and my goggles in my backpack. I’m ready.” Noah began to fuss with his hands, agitated by the alteration in routine, as she’d known he would be. “I have to go.”
“We can’t today.”
For the hundredth time Maddie asked God why her son had to have autism. It kept him from enjoying so much in life. Liam’s rules only added to the burden of worry that deprived Noah even more, rules now so ingrained she wondered if her son could ever be free of them.
“Hey, Ark Man, I have an idea. Could I take you to your swimming lesson? That way your mom could fill in for Jayne.” Jesse ignored the swift shake of her head and continued speaking. “I used to be a pretty good swimmer, you know. I even got my lifeguard badge.”
Maddie so wished he hadn’t said that. Noah often spoke of becoming a lifeguard, but that was so he could be in charge and make sure everyone followed the rules.
“I don’t think—” She was about to brush off Jesse when Noah spoke.
“That’s a good plan. He could take me, Mom. Then I wouldn’t have to break my appointment.” He sounded so serious.
“Well, Mom?” Jesse quirked an eyebrow. “What do you say? Tanner drove my truck to Emma’s store, so Noah and I could go in it. You’d have your car, so you could take your time at work and join us at Emma’s house when you’re free. Noah could help me feed the puppies again, too. I would appreciate the assistance.”
Maddie was about to refuse, until Jesse added that last bit. She recalled last night and the way he’d gotten Noah engaged in the puppies. She glanced at the youth pastor and quickly looked away. It was hard to concentrate on her driving with Jesse so attentive, as if he valued whatever she had to say. Recently she’d wondered if Noah needed some separation from her. Maybe it would be a good thing for him to spend time with a man like Jesse, who didn’t stint on encouragement and praise.
“It’s up to Noah. Is that what you want to do, son?” She glanced at him in the rearview mirror, saw his forehead pleat as he thought it through.
“I would like to go swimming,” Noah said. Then added, “And after I will help Jesse with the puppies, because I think he needs help. And so do the puppies.”
Maddie wanted to squeal with delight. Noah had actually thought about someone else’s needs outside of his own tightly contained world.
“Then I say thank you very much, Jesse.” Maddie pulled into her parking spot at the store and switched off the car. “We appreciate it.”
“No biggie.” He climbed out and extended a hand to Noah, who hesitated a moment before grasping it and exiting the vehicle. “Friends help friends.”
Maddie had certainly never had a friend like
Jesse. What a relief that he wasn’t looking for more than that, because she was never going to be vulnerable again.
“Have fun.” She ruffled Noah’s hair, then pulled a twenty-dollar bill out of her pocket and held it toward Jesse. “For pizza,” she explained, confused when he frowned and pushed it away.
“You helped me. Now it’s my turn to help you. Because we’re friends. Okay?”
Maddie couldn’t stop her heart from skipping a beat at his cheerful smile. In fact, she couldn’t stop staring at him at all. All she could do was nod her head.
“You’re a very nice friend to have, Jesse.”
Chapter Five
Jesse hid a smile as Noah struggled to follow every one of his swim teacher’s directions. The kid had grit. When the lesson was finished, Jesse added his praise to the teacher’s, commending the boy on his determination.
“You’re going to be a strong swimmer,” he added as he drove to Emma’s.
“I’m going to be a lifeguard.” Noah stared straight ahead.
“How come?” Surprised by the resolve in his voice, Jesse waited for the answer.
“So I can make people obey the rules,” Noah explained in a tight little voice.
“Why is that so important?” Jesse puzzled over his inner yen to help Maddie’s son. He couldn’t figure out whether that desire stemmed from his lifelong need to offer help when he could, or if it was because Noah was Maddie’s son and she was his friend.
“Sinning is bad.” It sounded as if Noah had heard those words many times before. “My dad said keeping the rules helps us not to sin.”
“I guess keeping rules sometimes helps do that.” Feeling as if he was about to tiptoe through a morass of theology, Jesse tried to explain his view. “I think not sinning has more to do with loving God and wanting to live the way He wants than it does with just keeping rules.”
“My dad said you show you love God by keeping His rules.” Noah frowned. “You think like my mom.”