“You’re pretty good at that,” Josh said after everyone had been served. “If this education thing doesn’t work out, you could always go into food service.”
I gave him a wry look and pulled off the gloves.
“What?” He grinned. “I’m trying to give you a compliment.” He eyed the pieces that were left. “Do you want pepperoni or pepperoni?”
After we scarfed down several slices of sub-par bowling alley pizza, Josh leaned back in his chair, stretched his feet out, and rubbed his belly. Most of the Special Olympics athletes had already left, and there were just a few from our group lingering.
I uncrossed my legs and caught sight of the red, blue, and tan gaudiness that were still on my feet. I’d totally forgotten I still had these suckers on. Ugh. Rented bowling shoes. I didn’t even want to think about how many sweaty pairs of feet had worn these. Josh, I noticed, had his own stylish pair of gray and black bowling shoes, and his own bowling ball. Somehow I wasn’t surprised.
“Be right back,” I said, holding up my shoes. Josh nodded.
When I returned from the counter, he had my phone in his hand and a disturbed look on his face.
“What are you doing?” I asked cautiously.
He looked up at me, not trying to hide the fact that he’d been on my phone. “Your phone rang like three times in a row, so I thought it might be an emergency or something. There was no one there when I picked up, but then you got a text.”
Wordlessly, he pushed the phone across the table. I didn’t need to look to know who it was, though. I tucked the phone in my back pocket. Later on I would save the text in a special folder with all the other ones.
“Are you ready?” I asked, though clearly he wasn’t. He hadn’t changed back into his street shoes yet.
“Aren’t you going to look at it?”
I shook my head.
“It was from Brett. He’s still harassing you.”
It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to. If he’d looked at the texts or my call history, he knew that Brett tried to reach me several times a day, every day.
“What are you going to do about it?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “There’s nothing I need to do. If I ignore him long enough, he’ll get the point.”
“The man assaulted you, and now he’s harassing you.” Josh’s tone was calm and controlled, but I could tell how angry he was by the pulsing vein in his neck. “You need to get a restraining order.”
“He’s hours away from here.”
“His text said he wants to see you.”
“Well, he’s not going to,” I snapped. I put my fingers up to my temples. “I don’t want to talk about this. It’s none of your business.”
“How is it none of my business?” His voice was raised and a few people around us turned to look. He ran his hands through his hair and spoke more quietly. “Your safety is my business. I care about you.”
I put my hand on his cheek. “I know. And I appreciate that.” I spied Casey waiting by the door, trying her hardest to act like she wasn’t eavesdropping, but she totally was.
“I’ve got to go,” I said. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
He looked over at Casey, then down at me, his expression troubled. “Don’t shut me out.”
“I’m not.”
I hugged him, and before he let me go, he crushed his mouth to mine, his frustration coming through in the all-consuming kiss.
I didn’t know what to make of it.
Once in the car, Casey let out a low whistle. “What was that about?”
I gripped the steering wheel and sighed. “Josh found texts from Brett on my phone.”
Casey turned to face me. “Two things wrong here. One—why is Brett still texting you? And two—why is Josh going through your phone?”
I explained the situation to her, which earned another low whistle.
“I understand why he doesn’t want Brett texting you, but a restraining order? Doesn’t that seem a bit extreme?”
I realized my mistake too late—I forgot she didn’t know about Brett hitting me. I hadn’t wanted her to know. She’d never liked Brett in the first place, and I was embarrassed that I’d been such a sucker where he was concerned.
But I wasn’t going to let her think Josh was being an overprotective psycho. So I told her everything.
“I don’t even know what to say right now,” Casey said, after yet a third low whistle. “I wish you had told me what happened. And I’m mad at you for not telling me about visiting Josh’s family. You should have given me all those juicy details.”
Those details were hardly juicy compared to more recent ones, but she wasn’t getting those from me, either. Let’s just say Josh could probably tell you the exact location of all the freckles on my body.
“You know why I couldn’t.” I sighed. “My seeing him was a big gray area, and probably closer to the dark side than the light.”
“You’re both adults. He’s been dismissed from the program, so there’s nothing to worry about. And you would have had him switched to another counselor if you needed to. And that’s all in the past now.” I put the car in park in front of her building, so she unbuckled her seat belt. “I mean, it’s not the ideal way to meet someone, but whatever. Life is life. You just gotta go with it.”
I admired her philosophy. Not sure I could abide by it in my own life, but it was a nice thought.
“Thanks for coming, Casey.”
“It was fun. But seriously, Bri, I think I’m on Josh’s side with this. You should talk to the police or maybe the campus cops. They’ll tell you what you should do and if a restraining order is necessary.”
“I’ll think about it.”
That was my standard answer whenever this came up, and I already had thought about it. It was a horrible thing that happened, and I hated that Brett kept calling and texting me, but once upon a time I loved the guy, or at least I thought I did. I believed that deep down he was a decent human being, even if he could be a prick. I didn’t want to put a permanent black mark on his record by filing a restraining order against him.
I wanted to believe that the guy I spent two years of my life with wasn’t such a scumbag, and that the incident was just a fluke. I wanted to believe that I could rely on my judgment. If I believed otherwise, then how could I trust my instincts where Josh was concerned?
Brett would settle down and stop contacting me if I continued to ignore him. Eventually he’d get the picture. I just hoped he got it sooner rather than later.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Bri
Later that night, Josh called to let me know he was out in front of my building, but he couldn’t find a parking space. Someone must be throwing a party, which made parking spots scarce. I was glad he was driving. Otherwise, when I came home at two in the morning, I’d be circling for days trying to find somewhere to park.
I took the steps a little slower than I normally would. Technically Josh and I hadn’t fought, but things weren’t exactly peachy when I’d left the bowling alley earlier.
He was quiet when I got into the car, only saying, “Hey.” I buckled my seat belt and he pulled away from the curb.
Maybe it would have been better to cancel for tonight. We’d made plans to go out with Cori, Luke, Amber, and Brad before we’d had our little tiff. Now things were weird between us. I liked his friends, but they were his friends. I didn’t want to get stuck in a totally awkward situation.
Kind of like this one. It was too quiet in the car. Even the music was turned down low.
I pulled out my phone to have something to do other than focus on the awkwardness. There was an email from the study abroad office. It was getting to be cruel and unusual. Ever since I’d submitted my application, they’d sent me a promotional email nearly every day. Wasted effort on their part—I was already dying to go.
My finger hovered over the delete button when I noticed the subject line. It was different from the usual. Could
it be the decision on my application? They’d said it wouldn’t take long, but I was starting to think that was a lie.
For about half a second, I considered waiting until I had privacy to open it. Yeah, right. The anticipation would kill me.
I crossed my fingers on my left hand and tapped on the email.
Congratulations and welcome to the study abroad program!
I blinked and reread it. I’m in!
I wanted to squeal and jump up and down, but instead I smiled a goofy smile and covered it with my hand.
Josh didn’t know that I’d applied.
Brett had been so against it that I hadn’t dared risk telling Josh. I figured I would apply and then see what happened. There was no need to cause strife in our relationship if I didn’t even get in. But now I looked at him nervously. What would he think? Would he be mad that I applied without telling him?
Would he be even madder that I wanted to go? Our relationship was still so new—would it survive being apart for an entire semester? Was it worth the risk?
Beside me Josh sighed. “I hate this.”
“What?”
He gestured to the space between us. “This. This silence. This feeling like you’re way over there. Look, I’m sorry I pressured you about the restraining order thing. I don’t even know if it would help or be worth the effort, but I just feel like you need to do something. It’s been months now, and he’s still bothering you.”
“I’m dealing with it in my own way,” I said quietly. If anything, Brett had been getting more insistent with his texts and phone calls, but I would never admit that. When I first started ignoring them, I never dreamed it would go on this long. At this point, though, I figured I should just stay the course and ride it out. He couldn’t keep it up forever.
“I know. It’s just hard. Every time I hear that asshole’s name, I picture you with that black eye, and I can’t stand it.” He reached over and held my hand.
I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed his knuckles. “I’m sorry.”
“So we’re good?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
Josh lucked out and found street parking right in front of Thirsties. That had never happened to me. The closest to downtown I’d ever been able to park was a block away.
The others were already seated when we got there. I’d never actually eaten at Thirsties before. They served typical bar food, but I was surprised by how good it was.
When the server came to clear our empty plates, Cori ordered desserts for everyone. We all gave her what-the-heck looks.
“We need to celebrate,” she said with a huge smile on her face. “It’s been killing me, waiting for Luke to share the news.”
“Cori, it’s no big de—”
Cori put a hand over Luke’s mouth. “It is a big deal! And if he won’t share, then I will. He got an internship for the summer. Almost a hundred people applied, and he got it.”
“Congratulations, Luke,” Amber said. “That is definitely a reason to celebrate with chocolate.”
“That’s awesome,” Brad said. “Where is it?”
“It’s in Alexandria, not too far from my house.”
Cori stuck out her lower lip. “And hours away from here, where I’ll be taking summer classes. That’s the one bad thing.”
Luke wrapped his arm around her and kissed her temple. I shifted uncomfortably. They’d only be a couple hours drive away from one another. If I accepted the position in the study abroad program, I’d be an eight-hour flight away, not something easily managed. I looked at Josh’s profile, his easy smile. I could lose him.
I’d let my relationship with Brett command my life, though, and I didn’t want to do that again. I wasn’t naive enough to think that relationships didn’t demand certain sacrifices, but was I ready to give up on my dream? Again? It had just become a real possibility.
“I was thinking of taking summer classes,” Josh said slowly, like he was still coming to grips with the idea.
Five heads whipped around to face him, mine included. This was the first I’d heard of him considering summer school.
“What?” he slouched down a little. “All of y’all are going to graduate without me and then I’ll be stuck here. I gotta do something.”
I squeezed his hand under the table. I was proud of him. I’d really tried hard to lay off on the academic counseling stuff, so I was pleased that he’d come to that conclusion on his own.
“I’m not sure what I’m doing,” Amber said.
“That makes two of us,” Brad said, high-fiving her.
It was my turn to chime in and say what I was planning for the summer. If I went to London, I would need to take a class in order to stay caught up and graduate on time. My heart clenched at the thought of leaving Josh.
You haven’t committed to going yet, my heart reminded me.
You’d be crazy to miss this opportunity, my head argued back.
“I’ll probably take classes this summer, too,” I said.
“So will you graduate early, then?” Cori asked.
“No.” I shifted uneasily. “I actually just got accepted to a study abroad program for the fall, so I need to take a class because of that. The classes don’t line up perfectly with my curriculum.”
Josh’s eyes widened, and he was obviously taken aback—and maybe a little hurt—by my announcement, but the server arrived with three brownie pie desserts—one for each couple—before he could comment. Guilt spiraled within me. I should have told him first, before I blurted it out to everyone.
“I just found out,” I whispered to him. But I hadn’t just found out about applying. I wondered if he’d notice that little distinction.
“Where will the program take you?” Cori asked.
“London.”
“That is so cool,” Amber said. “You’ll be able to visit everywhere. Everything is so close over there.”
“I’m really excited.” I broke a chunk of brownie off with my spoon. “I just found out, so I’m not sure of all the details yet.”
Like if I’m ready to be separated from Josh.
Josh flagged down our server. “We need a round of shooters,” he said. “Something girly. You pick.” He turned back to our group with a grin, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Girls celebrate with chocolate. Guys celebrate with alcohol.”
“Thanks,” I said quietly.
He fed me a piece of the dessert. “I’m happy for you.” He said the words, but he didn’t sound too enthusiastic. Did he really mean them? Of course, I did just blindside him with the fact that his girlfriend was going to be on another continent for an entire semester.
Wow…another continent. A smile stretched across my face as it started to sink in. I was going to freaking London! It was so unreal.
I had to go. I refused to let this chance pass me by. It was definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And God, I had so much to do. I’d need to sublet my apartment, get a passport, and brush up on my French, because I was definitely going to Paris. Paris! Squee! My mind started whirling, and my hands itched to take out my phone and start making a list.
But I’d start the practical things tomorrow. One thing I had learned from Josh was that you had to take time to enjoy things, to sometimes live in the moment, something I had trouble doing. I’d celebrate tonight and worry about all the pesky details later.
Like how Josh and I were going to manage the time apart. Or—God forbid—what I’d do if he didn’t want to deal with the separation.
What would I do? Will Josh want me to give up this opportunity?
Nope. Not doing it, remember? I was going to enjoy the moment, live in the now. I needed to have faith that everything would work itself out the way it was supposed to. What was it that Casey said earlier? Life is life. You just gotta go with it.
Well, I was going with it.
Our shooters arrived, and we did a “cheers” to my upcoming trip. Sure, I was going to need to talk to Josh about everythin
g later, but for now, sitting here with his arm around me surrounded by good people, life just didn’t get much better than this.
“Brianna.”
My blood chilled at the deep timbre of that voice. No. It can’t be.
“Brett.” I blinked to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. Surely I must be mistaken. Surely he couldn’t be standing right next to our table. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry to interrupt you with your new friends.” He surveyed the table with a derisive look on his face. When his gaze lingered on Josh’s arm around me, Josh’s fist clenched.
Brett returned his gaze to me. “We need to talk.”
“Fuck you.” Josh started to stand, but I pulled him back down.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, sliding out from under Josh’s arm to stand. I needed to get Brett away from the table. My hands shook, but I needed to end this, right now.
Fury shone in Josh’s eyes. “Bri, you don’t have to talk to this asshole.”
“Let me deal with it,” I said, pleading. “Just stay here.”
“Bri—”
“Please. I will deal with this.”
He clenched his teeth and looked away, but let me go.
I stormed past Brett to the other side of the bar, near the front door, to put some distance between him and my friends, between him and Josh, between my past and my present.
Just being in his presence made my skin crawl. The last time I was this close to him, he’d used his fists on me.
I turned to face him and crossed my arms. “What are you doing here?”
“Who are those people?”
“Those are my friends, not that it’s any of your business.”
He snorted. “You’re slumming.”
“Excuse me?”
“Your new friends. Kind of a downgrade, aren’t they?”
“Screw you.”
“Babe, come on. You know you deserve better than that frat boy back there.”
My fingers dug into my arms and I looked away. I couldn’t bear to lay eyes on him. This asshole…I’d wasted years of my life on him. I hated myself for not seeing his true colors sooner. I’d only been concerned about his stats—he came from a good family, he had career prospects, he was stable. On paper, he was perfect.
Wanting More (Love on Campus #2) Page 21