by Linda Wells
Sincerely yours,
Alex Carrington
“Oh Elizabeth!” Georgiana was beaming.
“Do you feel better now? It seems that he has remained true to you. We need to become serious about your coming out. It is only three and a half months away.”
“You are being presented at court, too, Elizabeth.” Georgiana reminded her, grinning.
“Yes, but fortunately, I am married and I do not have to worry about enduring the Season.” She looked back at the portrait and sighed.
“Do not remind me please.” Georgiana’s smile disappeared.
“Have you forgotten already that you will have a dance partner you favour?”
Georgiana brightened again. “I wish that he could come for Christmas.” She was suddenly struck by a thought. “Why did you invite him? If William wanted us to be separated until I am out, why would he be invited here?”
Elizabeth decided it was not time to tell Georgiana her relationship to Alex; she would leave that tale to him. Instead, she smiled. “We decided that if he wanted to come it would tell us of his continued interest in you. We will miss his company.”
Georgiana’s regret was clearly displayed. “I know that I will. This will be my first ball, at least one where I can actually dance and not have to go upstairs after greeting the guests.” Elizabeth looked back at Darcy’s portrait, remembering the last time they danced at the harvest celebration. She sighed again, missing him so much. Georgiana saw that she was losing Elizabeth. “Come, we have much work to do. Let us go to the attic and pull out the Christmas decorations. We will have a houseful of guests soon.”
Elizabeth appreciated her gesture. “All right, Georgiana. Let us go.” She gathered up her letters, lovingly caressing the first, and taking one last look at William whispered, “I will return soon, my love.”
“THREE MORE DAYS Angel, three more days.” Bingley whispered.
“Could we not leave today?” She whispered back.
Bingley chuckled. “I imagine Darcy and Elizabeth would not mind, but we are not quite finished packing yet.”
“Leave it behind!” She declared in a fervent whisper, then closed her eyes and held a handkerchief to her mouth, feeling nauseas once again. Charles, now accustomed to the worrisome behaviour squeezed her hand. When she opened her eyes, it was not his gaze that she saw, but her father’s questioning eyes, regarding her from across the aisle in the Meryton church. She gave him a weak smile and sat a little straighter. She and Charles were fairly convinced that she was with child, but after the Darcy’s loss, she was not going to make any announcement before she felt the quickening. She wrote to Aunt Gardiner when she first felt oddly, wishing for her counsel rather than her mother’s. She also took the opportunity to bring up Lizzy’s experience, and her aunt was able to tell her the details that her sister refused to relate. It was Georgiana who told her of the couple’s despondency, although she remained ignorant as to the cause. Jane of course told all of it to Charles, and together, they wondered if such an event could so disable a strong marriage, what would be the affect on a weak one? They failed to take into account the importance of intense affection in the marriage as both a reason for the pain and the catalyst for the recovery.
Jane was ready to make the move to Derbyshire. Most of their possessions had left for Lyndon Hall that morning, and she watched the wagons depart with envy. Mrs. Bennet was becoming increasingly upset as their moving day approached and made her unhappiness quite clear to her daughter. She liked having her eldest daughter living in the grandest house for miles. She liked dining and visiting there several times a week, she liked telling her friends about it as well. It also gave her a sense of security, that she had somewhere to go if the worst happened. Not that her sister Phillips or the neighbours would refuse her, but to have a daughter well-situated and nearby was of great comfort. So her insecurity gave Jane the heretofore unknown ability to be aggravated and even more shocking, especially to her husband, the ability to express her irritation in a most Lydia-like way.
“Lord, but I am anxious to leave here!” Jane said, then clapped her hand to her mouth and stared wide-eyed at her husband. “Oh my!”
He stared back at her, then remembering the signs of pregnancy that her uncle had sent him relaxed, and smiled at her. “Perhaps we could leave tomorrow?”
DARCY GRATEFULLY RETURNED to his bedchamber after supper and immediately crossed the room, picked up the miniature portrait of Elizabeth to give her a kiss, and gently traced his fingers across her painted cheek. He sighed. He missed her so much it hurt. It had been two weeks since he last held her and his arms ached with emptiness. Embracing his pillow was no replacement for his wife. He thought back to his first night in that lonely room, and how overjoyed he had been to find a love letter from her laying across his pillow, placed by Rogers at her instruction. He kept the letter in his pocket at all times.
The travel to Rosings took almost four days. Richard’s plea for his help could not be ignored. His steward had died, and had no immediate replacement, leaving Rosings in great disarray. Richard had been learning quickly, but he was no Darcy. He desperately needed help. Darcy spoke to Mr. Regar, and he offered one of his assistants, his nephew Mr. Barnes, as qualified to take over as steward. He and Darcy set off together to help Richard put the estate back in order.
Elizabeth tried hard to convince Darcy to allow her to join him, but with Christmas approaching, bringing its corresponding onslaught of guests, he knew that she was needed at Pemberley. He regretted the decision almost the moment he made it, and as the miles between them increased, he vowed he would never be separated from her like this again.
Upon arriving at Rosings, he found that rents were not collected, tenant homes were in need of repair for winter, and the added burden that the housekeeper was very ill, leaving the still-learning Kathleen at her wits’ end. He shook his grateful cousin’s hand and dove into the work. The faster he finished, the sooner he could go home.
Darcy changed into his nightshirt and readied for another sleepless night in his cold and lonely bed. He settled under the covers, and looking at Elizabeth once again, he drew out the letter that had arrived late that afternoon. It was all he could do not to open it immediately, but he exercised restraint. He wished to savour his Lizzy’s words in the privacy of his chambers. He held the envelope to his nose, catching the scent of the lavender water she sprinkled over the paper and sighed, smiling for the first time in days, and broke the seal.
November 30, 1811
Pemberley
My Dearest William,
It has been so long since I have written you a letter. I will not count the message you received upon your arrival at Rosings; that was a love note, and not posted. It does not qualify as a true letter, which is something sent with a desire to please and received with one hopes, surprise and joy. There was no need to write before, as you are always by my side, but now that you are not, I find that I am lost. I cannot walk the halls of our home without thinking that at any moment you will appear and I am devastated when the sound of an opening door or footsteps are not followed by your handsome figure.
It is so quiet here without you. I can just imagine you staring at that, but it is true. Certainly Georgiana plays her music, and the servants bustle about, but you see, I rather grew used to the constant pounding of my heart, anticipating your touch, and now it is so quiet that the normal sounds of the house are deafening in their insignificance. I need your whispers, your laugh, your stubborn arguments, oh Will, I need your voice.
I wish to be in your arms, my love. I want to feel your soft, warm lips wandering over my face and down my body. Your tender, yet demanding kisses make my skin tingle and I want to feel your mouth envelop my breasts and then your tongue as you continue lower to taste and bring me to the indescribable heaven you have shown me. I wish to feel your beautiful hands, your caress, all over me. Oh my love, I will never have enough of your touch; you make me feel so very wanted.
&nbs
p; My darling, I miss everything about you; not just your dear voice and sweet hands, but your scent, your beautiful loving gaze, and your ultimate gift of your body. The feel of your body overwhelming mine with its weight and strength, entering and infusing me with your passion and seed completes me in every sense of the word. You made me a woman. You made me experience the heights of joy. Your give me the hope of a family, and most of all you give me your very essence, you share with me your soul, and that my love, I treasure. I can only hope that you feel a tenth the satisfaction with my endeavours. I cannot wait for you to come home to me darling, please come home and let me love you. I want to love you, my Will, my husband, my lover, my dearest friend. Come home.
Yours alone,
Elizabeth
“Lizzy.” Darcy whispered, tracing the letters of her name with his finger. “I want to come home, this instant. I want to hold you and never let go again. Soon, darling, very soon I will leave this place and return to where I belong. I promise you my love.” He blinked back the emotion that he let no other person see, and read her letter again and again.
RICHARD EMBRACED KATHLEEN, enjoying the lassitude he felt after their lovemaking. He had been making a very concerted effort to ignore the feelings he had for Elizabeth and replace them with the love he knew he had for the woman in his arms. He needed Kathleen, so much, especially now when he was utterly overwhelmed with the still unfamiliar duties as the Master of a large estate, and the troubles that Darcy had thankfully come to sort out. He was grateful his cousin had come without his wife, although Kathleen was very disappointed. He settled back on his pillow and closed his eyes, ready to hopefully find dreamless sleep when he was forced back to consciousness by the sound of his wife’s voice.
“Your cousin is very unhappy.”
His eyes opened wide and looked down at the pensive face lying on his chest. “Forgive me, my dear, but I cannot help but marvel at the subject you choose to discuss after such a moment. I fear that I have failed to distract you properly.”
Kathleen tugged on the thatch of blond hair blooming on her husband’s chest, to his pained protest. “Do stop thinking of yourself for a moment, Richard!” She looked at him. “Have you finished with your need for William’s help yet? Can you and Mr. Barnes now carry on without him?”
“Perhaps.” Finally seeing how serious she was, he sat up and gave her his full attention. “What concerns you?”
“William does not smile, and barely speaks.”
Richard laughed. “That is not unusual. In fact, that is his normal state, my dear. I have known him all my life. He is not a joyful person.”
“I realize that I have only seen him once before and briefly at that, but I must disagree with you. The man I met at Pemberley and the one here now are entirely different. At Pemberley he smiled, laughed, was even I would say playful in a very modest way, but now . . .
“He misses Elizabeth.” Richard said softly. “I can certainly understand that.” Kathleen looked at him sharply, and he fortunately saw it. “I would miss you deeply if we were parted, my love.”
Satisfied, Kathleen returned to the subject. “Is it not time to send him home?”
Richard laughed. “He will go when he feels he has done everything he can for us, and no sooner. He is very stubborn that way. No matter how much he is suffering.”
“That is ridiculous. You must push him away.”
“And how exactly do you propose I accomplish that?” He smiled at her, raising his brow.
“You say that you know him so well, think of something.” She challenged him.
Richard wrapped his arms around her and thought. “He received a letter from Elizabeth today.”
“Yes, I did as well.”
“What did she say?”
“She did not wish to burden him, but she needs him at home.” She paused, wondering over the hidden meaning of Elizabeth’s words. “She said that she is feeling unwell, and is not sure if her melancholy is due to his absence or perhaps something else . . . more significant.” She stared directly at her husband.
He was completely in the dark. “What do you mean?”
Kathleen rolled her eyes and sighed. “She may be with child again.”
Richard’s eyes opened wide. “Really?” The thought of Elizabeth pregnant with Darcy’s child brought an unexpected feeling of contentment. He knew the joy this news would bring to them. He looked down into Kathleen’s face and smiled. “Then we must send him home. Tomorrow I will convince him his work is completed and the next day we will push him into his carriage and on his way!”
“Now that is the soldier I married, a man of action!” She smiled at him approvingly.
“Speaking of action, Katie. . .” He grabbed his squealing wife and rolled back on top of her. “Let us see if I can sufficiently distract you this time.” After another most satisfying encounter, Richard spooned his body to hers and relaxed. He awoke in the morning to the great realization that he had enjoyed a rare night of peace.
GEORGIANA AND ELIZABETH spent the better part of the day going through the Christmas decorations that had sat neglected since Mr. Darcy died. The mice had found some, but most things were in excellent condition, having been packed away so carefully. They found a box of masks and entertained themselves trying them on. Elizabeth found her sadness lifting with Georgiana’s enthusiasm. Servants carried the boxes downstairs and everything was laid out in the ballroom. Mrs. Reynolds took one look at the filthy ladies and like a mother hen ordered them to their rooms to bathe.
“Imagine what the Master would say if he saw the two of you!” She clucked.
“I think that he would scold us while trying hard to hide his laughter. What do you think Elizabeth?” Georgiana smiled over to her sister who had suddenly become very pale.
“Oh, I think he would be quite amused.” She said, her voice drifting away to a whisper. “Please excuse me.” She ran out of the room and into a small washroom nearby. Georgiana and Mrs. Reynolds rushed after her, and could hear the sound of Elizabeth’s retching through the door.
“Elizabeth!” Georgiana cried. “Mrs. Reynolds! We must help!”
“As soon as it is over, we will dear.” Mrs. Reynolds’ mind was whirling. Could this be what she hoped?
Elizabeth opened the door and looked at the faces of the two waiting women, Georgiana’s concerned and Mrs. Reynolds’ questioning. She smiled weakly to her sister, and looking directly at her housekeeper, nodded her head. Mrs. Reynolds clapped her hand to her mouth and tried to contain herself. “Let us get you up to a bath Mrs. Darcy, and then I will send up some herbal tea to settle your stomach.”
Georgiana’s face was full of worry, and she wrapped her arm around her sister’s waist. “I will help you, Elizabeth.”
“Thank you Georgiana.” She said gratefully. She did not wish to even think that it was true. It could only be a few weeks along, but she had almost instantly known that her body was changing. Oh how she wished William was home!
“WELL DARCY, THAT SHOULD put Rosings back on firm ground.” Richard declared as he watched Mr. Barnes enter the last of the rent payments into the ledger. “You can be on your way home now.” He grinned at him.
“Believe me Richard, there is no place I would rather be, but are you sure that you have a good grasp of everything now?” He smiled slightly. “I do not wish to return anytime soon.”
“I think that I will choose not to take offense at that Cousin, although that statement surely disparages my hospitality and insults my dear wife.”
“I would never insult your wife, Richard, only you.” His humour had returned slightly with the receipt of Elizabeth’s letter.
“Hmm.” Richard eyed him. “I think that Barnes and I will be well rid of you.” Seeing the stubborn set of his cousin’s jaw, and knowing his opinion that all would fall apart if he left too early; he played his trump card. “How is Elizabeth?” Darcy started; they had, by silent agreement, only spoken of her when Kathleen was present. “I saw y
ou received a letter from her yesterday.” He said innocently.
“She is well.” He said quietly. He was not about to recite the torrid contents of the letter to Richard. He had savoured her words so many times that night he could easily repeat them. His imagination was suddenly fully engaged in acting out the suggestions contained in her prose
“Kathleen received a letter from her as well.” He said bringing his cousin’s drifting attention back. “She mentioned feeling decidedly unwell.”
Darcy immediately focused completely on Richard. “What do you mean, unwell? Is she ill? What is wrong?” He demanded.
“She mentions feeling sad, but blames that on your absence, perhaps her desire to stay in bed and lack of appetite are due to that as well.” Richard watched Darcy with growing amusement.
“She is in bed?” He leaped to his feet. “Could it be true?” He spoke to himself, pacing rapidly. He turned to Richard. “I must leave for home.”
“But what about Rosings?” He contained his smile.
“Rosings is fine. Mr. Barnes is a good steward, and you know what to do.” He said dismissively, his mind racing.
“You would leave me now? At my time of need?” Richard’s voice took on a plaintive whine.
“Hang your need, Richard! Elizabeth needs me!” He declared.
“I think you should stay at least another week, Darcy.” He said solemnly.
Darcy snarled in his face. “Just try to stop me from going!” He strode from the room and flew up the stairs calling out orders to have his carriage readied instantly and sending Rogers into a panicked frenzy of packing.