Gathering up his clothes, he headed for the bathroom. “I’ll be ready to leave as soon as I change. Pack your gear.”
Kasim dressed in the jeans, boots, and long-sleeved shirt Borini had provided. He also tied his hair back, twisting it into a bun before pulling on a ball cap. When he came out, Winter was standing by her bed, the plastic bags at her feet crammed full.
“I just need to clear the bathroom, and then I’ll be ready.”
Kasim nodded and stepped aside. His whole body tightened as she brushed past him, but neither of them made eye contact. He didn’t like that there was something wrong between them, but he didn’t know how to bridge the gap. Or even if he should try. Ignoring the ache in his chest, Kasim walked to the bed and crouched down so he was face-to-face with Shallamar.
I’ll have to smuggle you out of here. Are you okay with that?
Smuggle how?
Kasim grunted. Nothing glamorous, I’m afraid. I’ll just wrap you in a blanket and carry you out to the van. And hope that they weren’t seen by anyone nosey enough to wonder what he was carrying.
Shallamar chuffed in amusement. You strong, but not that strong. Get human to bring the transport close, me do the rest.
Are you sure? Kasim trusted Shallamar with his life, but the me’hendra were notoriously arrogant as a breed and she ran true to type. There was no way he’d risk exposing Shallamar to human eyes.
Me sure.
The discussion was cut short when Winter entered the room. “Everything’s packed. I’ll just run them out to the car.”
Kasim rose to his feet and turned to face her. “Can you bring the vehicle around and back it up to the doorway?”
“Not a problem.” She was all business and Kasim fought the urge push at her. To make her drop the defenses she had every right to erect.
As soon as she closed the door behind her, Kasim went to the window and watched her progress. She strode across the car park, back straight and strong, heading for a black van. It wasn’t one of the fleet cars from the tower, but it was similar enough with a wide body and tinted windows. The lights flashed. Winter got behind the wheel and put it in motion. She parked side-on to the motel room door less than a minute later.
Kasim stepped out, slid the door open, and held his breath. Shallamar shot out of the room and into the vehicle with the kind of speed and stealth that made her such an asset on the battlefield. Slamming the door behind her, Kasim turned to Winter.
“Ready to go?”
“Yes. I’ve got the room keys so all you need to do is close the door.”
By the time he did that she was behind the wheel again. He climbed into the passenger seat and the van was rolling before he even clicked his seatbelt into place. Winter stayed on the far left of the cracked driveway and came to a stop next to a lockbox. She slipped the room key into a slot and then drove forward, turning into the morning traffic.
“Would you like to share the driving?” he asked. Being passive didn’t suit him, and he felt as though he’d done nothing but sit back since he’d escaped the lab.
“I’m good, thanks.” She flicked a quick glance in his direction but snapped her eyes back to the road before he could catch her gaze. “It’s a long, boring drive back to the city. Why don’t you try to catch up on some sleep?”
Kasim didn’t need to sleep. What he wanted was to hear Winter talk some more, to learn more about her. But she was a smart woman with a curious mind. If they started talking, she’d be asking as many—or more—questions than him. Kasim had no desire to reveal any more about himself than he already had, and he didn’t want to open that door again.
So he turned to check on Shallamar, and once he assured himself she was comfortable, he slumped in his seat and closed his eyes.
Then he spent the next three hours trying not to breathe in the scent of Winter’s skin.
****
Winter was exhausted by the time they pulled into the basement car park of Hope Tower. The last forty-eight hours had been physically and emotionally harrowing, and she simply didn’t have it in her to pretend that everything was okay.
She followed Kasim’s directions like an automaton, driving down three levels before parking in a space near a set of sliding doors. They got out of the van and she waited while Kasim opened the sliding door for Shallamar. The big cat didn’t even glance in her direction as she jumped out and headed inside.
Kasim, on the other hand, looked at Winter with an intensity that made her shiver. There was a whole lot of emotions going on behind his cool gaze, but she didn’t have the energy to try to decipher what they might be.
He stepped close, resting his hands on her hips. “Winter. There are no words to convey my thanks.”
His deep voice seeped into the cracks in her armor. Unable to help herself, she closed the distance and rested her forehead against his chest.
With a sigh that ruffled her hair, Kasim gathered her close, pressing her gently to him from shoulders to knees. Locking her hands behind her back so she wouldn’t be tempted to touch, Winter let him take her weight.
“It’s been a helluva an adventure.” Winter’s voice came out sounding tight, and too close to tears for her liking. “I know we won’t see each other again, but I won’t ever forget you.”
Kasim eased back, lifting his hands to cup her face. “Nor I you.” And then he kissed her. A kiss full of tenderness, longing, and loss. A kiss that so closely mirrored her own feelings she couldn’t quite hold herself together. Pushing away on a sob, she gathered her things, not daring to look at him.
“Winter…”
She could sense him standing there, uncertain whether to go or stay.
So she made the choice for them both. “Be well, Kasim.” And with that, she turned away. With her back to Kasim, she walked to the exit sign and climbed a set of concrete stairs. She didn’t look around, and he didn’t call for her to turn.
Blinking back tears, Winter focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Each step taking her further away from what might have been.
Chapter Eight
As soon as Winter arrived in her tiny Soho apartment, she put the batteries back in her phones. She had fifteen missed calls from Ben, but she waited until she’d showered and changed before she listened to them. Curled up on the couch under a fluffy blanket, she sipped her coffee and listened to her voicemail.
All the messages were the same. Frantic, worried, pleading with her to call.
She listened to them twice, then spent the next two hours thinking, planning, and analyzing. She’d been careful to taser Ben when he had his back turned. If she could convince him another person had entered the room and helped the alien escape, her cover would be intact.
Ben thought the Jendari were little more than animals. It wouldn’t take much to convince him that Kasim had forced her cooperation.
She was pretty sure she could cover her tracks. Her only real concern was the surveillance equipment. If Ben had told her the truth and the cameras were off, she’d been in clover. But if he’d lied to her, he’d have undeniable proof of her betrayal.
What to do? She had to make a decision soon. So, did she go forward or take a step back?
Draining her coffee, she placed the empty mug on the side table and picked up her phone. Because really, she wasn’t a going-backward kind of woman.
Taking a steadying breath, she dialed Ben’s number.
“Wendy, thank God. Are you all right?”
“Yes.” She’d planned this part of her script carefully. “I’m scared and tired, but I’m not hurt.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m at a friend’s house. I didn’t want to be alone.” Which was a lie on both fronts. She needed some time and solitude to get her head on straight.
“Of course you don’t want to be on your own.” Ben sounded more frustrated than sympathetic. Or maybe he was angry and trying not to let her hear it. “I wish I could come to you.” Ah, it was frustration then.
&nb
sp; Winter let out a quiet sight of relief. “What about you? When I saw you on the floor I thought…” Breaking off with a catch in her voice, she let him fill in the gaps.
“I’m fine. The taser was calibrated for the alien, so it knocked me around a bit. I’m still in hospital but I should be released tomorrow.”
Hell, now she felt bad. She didn’t like that Ben was in hospital because of her actions, but he was alive and recovering. The same couldn’t have been said for Kasim if she’d left him at the lab.
“Can I come and see you tonight?” she asked. “I want to see for myself that you’re okay.” And if she visited Ben in the hospital, she’d be able to gauge his suspicions—or lack of them—in a controlled environment. She’d also be able to leave in a hurry if things turned sour.
“That would be great. I’ve been so worried about you.”
“I knew you would be. That’s why I called as soon as I could.” Winter turned to the side table and gathered up the pen and pad she always had on standby. “Which hospital are you in?”
She jotted down the information and ended the call with a promise to see Ben in a few hours. Evening plans made, Winter headed into her bedroom to get ready for her next performance.
A second wig, identical to the one she’d dumped yesterday, sat on a head-shaped stand. Whenever she went undercover, Winter purchased two of everything. Wigs, contacts, glasses, identification, phones—she had redundancies built in for every facet of her operation.
It took her an hour to get ready. When she locked up and went down the back stairs behind the bodega, it was as blonde-haired, blue-eyed Wendy. Push-up bra, tight shirt, killer heels, and all.
****
Ben’s private room was on a scale of luxury that would have made Winter’s health care provider break out in hives. Taupe walls, soothing artwork, and a bed that actually looked comfortable. A small table with two plush chairs were placed near the floor-to-ceiling window.
Ben stood up from one of the chairs as she entered the room. “Wendy.”
Winter rushed in, dumping her purse on the bed as she hurried into Ben’s arms. “How are you?” She held on tight, figuring if she hugged him long enough she might avoid a kiss.
“I’m fine. Really.”
“Okay. Good.” Releasing him as she stepped away, Winter sat down and edged the seat close to the table. Taking his cue from her, Ben did the same.
“What the hell happened at the lab?” His body language was open, and he didn’t seem suspicious or angry. Hoping she was reading him right, Winter launched into her tale.
“I’m not entirely sure. It all happened so fast.” Leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table, she looked him right in the eyes. “You were checking the restraints, so I took the opportunity to investigate all the instruments they had laying out on the counter. I heard a crackling noise, and before I could turn, someone grabbed me and put his hand over my mouth. Then…” She frowned and rubbed her forehead in feigned confusion. “I must have passed out or something. Or maybe they drugged me.”
“Wait. You’re telling me that someone else was there? Someone other than the alien?”
“Yes.”
“Who?”
She did her best to look frightened and confused. “I don’t know. He came up behind me and held me so tight I couldn’t turn around. It all happened so fast and I was so scared, I think my brain must have shut down. I don’t remember any details, and I’ve been trying to, I promise.”
“Okay. So someone grabbed you and you passed out. What then?”
“When I came to, the alien was dragging me to my feet. He said he’d kill you and me if I didn’t do exactly as he said.”
Winter tapped into the real fear she’d felt when she helped Kasim escape, knowing that Ben would see the emotion in her eyes. “I was terrified.” No lie there. “He forced me out of the lab and made me use a taser on the guards as we made our way out of the complex. He had the keys to your car and when we drove to the outer gate I … I…” She blinked back the tears that weren’t as hard to manufacture as they should have been. “I copied what you did on the way in. I waved the laminated paper and punched in the code. I was too scared not to.”
“How did you know the code?”
“I saw the numbers when you pressed the keypad.”
Suspicion flashed in his eyes. “You remembered the numbers?”
“I program computers,” she said, relying on her cover. “Numbers are what I do.”
She could almost feel him sizing her up, trying to filter truth or lie. She did her best to maintain the look of an innocent but traumatized woman.
“Go on. What happened then?”
The rest of her story mirrored the actual events, except in this version her participation was forced not voluntary. And in this scenario, she was tied up overnight, left alone and frightened in the dingy bathroom of the hotel.
“When we got back to Hope Tower, he dumped me at the car park entrance and told me to find my own way home. The rest you know.”
Ben pushed his chair away from the table. “Come here.” The tone was an invitation, not a command. Still not sure she’d convinced him of her innocence, she stood up and moved to stand directly in front of him. Linking his fingers with hers, Ben tugged her closer until she had no choice but to sit in his lap.
“Ben, your injuries…”
“Are just fine. Don’t worry.”
He settled her against his chest, holding her firmly but not too tight. Winter relaxed against him and tried to ignore how much she was hating herself right now. Ben was being so kind and compassionate, and she was lying and manipulating him to a degree that crossed way over her personal line.
For the first time since she started working on this story, she began to consider giving it away.
****
The following week didn’t offer Winter any clarity, and she couldn’t see any way out of the morass. After another half-assed day at work, she came home and curled up on the couch, determined to find some answers. Picking up a notepad and pen, she made notes about all her problems and how she might fix them.
First on her list was Ben. He had started out as a means to an end, and it was easy to not care about him when all he represented was a link to HEC. But since she’d gotten to know him, he’d shown himself to be kind and thoughtful—to her. And most of the time she actually liked him. But no matter how nice he was, she couldn’t forget his behavior at the lab. Nor could she get past the knowledge that he was perfectly happy to abuse and torture a Jendari. She wasn’t under any illusions about how quickly Ben would turn if he knew her true reasons for dating him.
She twirled the pen in her fingers, looking at the empty solutions column. Eventually, she wrote “pending”, because she still hadn’t decided whether to pursue her story or not.
Turning the page, she entered a new heading. Kasim.
Christ on a crutch. She didn’t even know where to begin.
That male had somehow imbedded himself in her heart and mind. Much to her frustration, she thought about him all the time. The way he looked, the heat of his body, the sensation of his beard on her skin. Just the memory of his deep voice could break her out in goosebumps. And when she pictured his eyes, ice-blue and intense, she melted from the inside out.
She’d never been like this over a man, and she was terrified she was turning into her mother.
Well, fuck that. There was no way she was allowing that to happen, and to underscore her determination, she wrote it down. I’m not my mother. At all. Then she underlined it. Twice.
She wondered if Kasim was thinking about her as much as she was thinking about him. She’d even begun fantasizing about him, in scenarios both erotic and PG. In her imaginings, Kasim came to her—sometimes begging, sometimes taking charge—but always wanting her. And in her world of make-believe, Winter was in control and in charge.
Not like her real life where all her rough edges were beginning to show.
Her work was suf
fering, she didn’t want to go out, and she hadn’t been to the gym all week. She felt so raw and exposed that being around other people rubbed her like sandpaper.
She stared at the “solution” column next to Kasim’s name. Winter had the sinking feeling that column was going to remain unhelpfully empty.
Time to call in the reinforcements. Reaching for her phone, she pressed the contact for her best friend.
Jaz picked up the call almost straight away. “Winter, hi. How’s it going?”
“Like a circus. A mad circus where everyone is on LSD.”
Jaz laughed. “Tell me all about it, ringmaster.”
Winter tried to keep her tone light, not wanting to worry Jaz until they were face-to-face. Then all bets were off, because that was the girlfriend code. “Any chance you can see me tonight?”
“Sure. Is something wrong?”
And that was one of the best, and worst, things about Jaz. She was so intuitive she heard people even when the words they wanted to say were left unspoken. “I just need to see you.”
“Okay.” Jaz’s laughter had disappeared and her voice became firm and reassuring. “Where and when?”
“My place, about seven?”
“Done. See you then, sista.”
“Looking forward to it.”
By the time seven o’clock rolled around Winter was as ready as she could be. Her freshly washed hair hung thick and wavy over her shoulders, and her yoga pants and long-sleeved t-shirt settled on her body with comfortable familiarity.
She’d just placed a cheeseboard and crackers on the coffee table when the doorbell rang.
Hurrying to the door, she yanked it open and threw her arms around her best friend. “Since when do you use the doorbell?”
“Since I don’t live here anymore.”
Jaz hugged her tight, as though she was trying to physically squeeze her love into Winter. “You give the best hugs.”
“Don’t I know it.”
They released each other and Winter stepped back, allowing Jaz to enter before closing the door and flipping the lock. “Next time use your goddamn key. No point having it, otherwise.”
Breaking Ice (The Jendari Book 2) Page 7