As soon as his song ended, arousal overtook him again. It flooded his senses, triggering an undeniable need to be inside her. Pushing away for a moment, Kasim rose to his knees and flipped Winter onto her stomach. He ignored her surprised squeak but put a reassuring hand on her sweetly curved ass.
“On your hands and knees, jessira.”
It was awkward for her with her hands bound and him sitting between her legs, but Kasim didn’t help her. She had to show him she wanted this by getting there on her own. And by the Goddess, he wanted her to want this.
When she maneuvered into position, Kasim almost lost his mind. Her head was down, her dark hair falling in waves over the pillow. She was braced on her forearms, her bound hands clasped above her head. The long, sensual line of her back curved slightly, showcasing the perfection of her upraised ass. It was a glorious sight and one he wanted to savor. But not this time. He need to be inside her was too great.
Kneeling close, he placed his cock at her entrance and grasped her hips. Sliding in slow and steady, he held his breath until he was fully seated inside her. He held himself tight against her body in what was, for him, the ultimate connection.
Then Winter pushed back, squeezing her muscles around his cock. Kasim growled in pleasure, thrusting into her in a rhythm that was more desperate than smooth. He drove them both hard, and it didn’t take long before Winter was panting, close to her peak.
Dropping over her so his chest was pressed to her back, Kasim captured her breasts, pulling and twisting her nipples while he pounded into her. Sweat made their bodies slippery and he reveled in the hot slide of skin against skin.
He was close, but he didn’t want to go over the edge alone. Cupping her mound, he found that magic nub of flesh and pinched it between his fingers, allowing the power of his hips to create the friction. She shattered under him almost straight away, her body orgasming in hard, brutal spasms that drove him wild. Latching onto the fleshy part of her shoulder with his teeth, locking her body to his with his arms, Kasim came in a blinding, deafening kaleidoscope of pleasure so intense it was painful. His cock pulsed, spilling his seed into her warm body. Leaving a part of himself inside her.
Winter was boneless in his arms, and he felt fiercely proud that he was the one who had reduced her to such a state. He rolled them so they lay on their sides, his body curved protectively around hers. After reaching up to check her bindings, he slid his hands down her arms and massaged her shoulders.
“All good?”
“Mmm.” Winter snuggled back against him. “Too blissed out to talk.”
He chuckled, the amused rumble feeling strange in his chest. “Don’t go too far down that road, jessira. We’re not done yet.”
“What?” She turned to him, her wide eyes betraying surprise and a little trepidation.
“I’ve got another two, maybe even three orgasms left in me.”
“Oh, my God.” Now she looked a little panicked. “I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
“Yes, you will.” He cupped her face, positioning her so he could take her lips. “I told you I’d take care of you, Winter. And I will.”
He undid her bonds, turned her on her side, and linked his fingers with hers. “Rest for a while, jessira.”
And when she fell asleep in his arms, he held her tight and sang the song of healing. Winter would feel satisfied and well-used by morning, but she wouldn’t be sore.
He couldn’t bear the thought of her being in discomfort because of him, and he would sing her the song of healing as often as he had to. Assuming, she’d invite him back to her bed again.
Kasim frowned and tightened his arms around her. He’d never allowed himself to contemplate a future that had a woman in it. Until now, his liaisons had been brief, simple, and one night only.
What he felt for Winter was so complicated and tangled it threw him completely off balance. He knew he should walk away from her, but he didn’t think he would be able to. Human and Jendari relationships were forbidden, but after tonight, Kasim had a sinking feeling he would risk anything to be with her. She was quickly coming to mean far more to him than was wise, for either of them.
Pressing his face to the back of her neck, Kasim breathed deep and let sleep take him.
****
He woke less than an hour later to find Winter lying next to him, her face close to his, her brown eyes unreadable. Her hands were tucked under her cheek, her body close but not touching him.
Smiling, he reached for her, but he hesitated when she pulled back.
“Winter?”
“I’m not shutting you out. I just need to talk.”
Everything inside him went still. “Okay.”
“You are a strong, beautiful man with an incredible capacity for love and kindness.”
“Thank you.” Kasim was too smart to be flattered. This sounded like the kind of petting that came just before a slap.
“When we share bodies, it’s powerful and intense. And tonight…” She wriggled closer, allowing their knees to touch. “I felt like we connected emotionally as well as physically. Am I alone in thinking that?”
“No, I felt it too.” Kasim braced himself, coating his emotions in a sheet of ice to protect himself from what was to come. Because he could hear it in Winter’s voice, see it in her face. She was about to let him go and he didn’t think he could bear it.
“I love how I feel when you touch me. But that’s only half the equation.”
And because of his history, Kasim was unable to offer her anything more. He kept his face impassive even as his heart broke.
Oblivious to his pain, Winter continued in a calm, reasonable voice. “What we shared tonight was amazing, but I can’t do that every time. I need to touch and be touched. I need what we share to be a true partnership. By denying my touch, you brush aside my contribution. It makes me feel less than I should, despite the amount of attention you lavish on me.”
He should get out of bed. Just get dressed and leave. But he was so shattered by her words, Kasim couldn’t make himself move.
“I know your aversion to touch is real,” Winter said. “I have no desire to diminish your experience or your pain.” She took a deep breath, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Will you work with me, Kasim? Are you willing to try to find a solution that we can both live with?”
Suddenly, Kasim’s energy returned in a sweaty panic. He shot out of bed, panting as though he’d been out on a hunt. Glancing around the room, he spied his jeans and t-shirt and hurried over to pull them on.
Then he grabbed his boots and socks and went to sit on the bed.
Winter sat up, the sheets pulled tight across her breasts. “Kasim—”
“No.” He cut her off before she could eviscerate him any further. “You’re right. What I asked of you was wrong. I demanded too much and I had no right.” Turning his back to her, he began tugging on his footwear. “I should never have asked it of you.”
“Kasim, I’m not kicking you out. I’m not telling you I don’t want to see you anymore.”
Yes, she was. She just didn’t realize it. Standing up, he collected his knife from the side table and sheathed it in his boot. Then he pulled on his hoodie and zipped it up.
Unable to just walk out on her, Kasim leaned down and kissed her goodbye. “Thank you, Winter.”
When he reached the bedroom door, he turned back. “If you still plan to go the benefit, make sure you tell Jasmine. Tallis will liaise with you about security.”
The protocols that Kasim would set up so he knew she’d be as protected as she could be. His heart might be shattered now, but if something happened to Winter, he’d never forgive himself.
He allowed himself one last look at her, naked with his scent on her skin. Then he turned on his heel and left.
Chapter Fifteen
After a sleepless night and a crying jag she was embarrassed to admit to, Winter forced herself out of bed and got on with her day. She spent the morning in Central Park interviewi
ng street vendors for a commissioned article she was writing, but her head wasn’t in the game.
She walked through the park, heading for the south exit. She tried to enjoy the early-fall beauty of her surroundings, but her mind was too busy for anything but dodging tourists.
All she could think about was last night and the things she could have done differently. Talk about highs and lows. Seeing Kasim in his lepardine form was an experience so magical she still couldn’t quite believe it was real. Even thinking about it made her whole body hum with incredulous joy, and she wanted repeat the experience. Far more than was wise.
And then there was the sex. Being bound wasn’t her gig, but laying naked and exposed on her bed while Kasim made love to her had been the most erotic experience of her life. He’d been tender, intense, sweet, demanding, and everything in between.
And then she’d pushed him. She’d asked for something he either couldn’t or wouldn’t give, and he’d fled her apartment with speed that made her dizzy. And he’d made it clear to her that his departure would be permanent. On such a short acquaintance, his absence shouldn’t have mattered. But it did.
His touch still lingered on her skin, and she missed him with an ache that hurt her insides.
But she couldn’t regret her choices. If she was to have a relationship—with anyone—she had to be able to speak freely. She had to be able to have her needs met. And if Kasim wouldn’t listen to her, if he couldn’t meet her halfway, then perhaps it was better to cut things off now. Before she tangled herself any deeper.
Christ on crutch. What a mess.
Merging with the fast-paced foot traffic, Winter put her body on autopilot while her mind chewed over her current problems. She took the subway, got off at West 23rd, and made her way up Seventh Avenue.
This was the heart of the garment district and it was frantic during business hours, even by New York standards. Winter dodged and weaved her way along the sidewalk until she came to a little hole-in-the-wall café. Stepping through the narrow doorway into a long, equally narrow room, Winter headed to the back of the eatery. The front section was set up with tables and chairs, where people could see and be seen. The back section was filled with padded booths and offered somewhere quiet to talk.
Winter was meeting one of her best friends and, while the conversation she wanted to have wasn’t secret, she didn’t want any eavesdroppers hearing anything.
Winter took her notebook out of her purse and worked while she waited for her friend to arrive.
Melody was an up and comer in the world of haute couture. She’d studied at the prestigious Parsons School of Design and in the five years since graduation, she’d worked almost around the clock to establish herself. Winter admired the hell out of her.
And because Melody was a workaholic, the only free time she had was whatever she could squeeze in between appointments. Which was why Winter was in a café in the garment district, waiting for a woman who was already ten minutes late.
Winter had just ordered her second coffee when Melody came rushing in. Well, rushing wasn’t entirely accurate. Melody was pin-up girl glamorous with a 1960s vibe she totally rocked. She could hustle in her pencil skirts and stilettos, but she never actually looked as though she was in a rush.
Every head turned to watch her as she made her way down the length of the room. Today she wore a navy pillbox hat, perched on an angle over her auburn bob. Her enviable boobs were hugged by a baby-blue sweater, tucked into a blue-and-cream brocade skirt narrow enough to shorten her steps. She’d finished her outfit with sheer hose and a pair of funky, navy pumps with a kitten heel.
Winter sighed in envy at the outfit. She had a few vintage items, but she didn’t have the time, patience, or pizzazz to pull off a look like that.
“Hi, honey. I’m sorry I’m late.”
Winter grinned at the standard Melody greeting. “Not a problem. I’m happy to work while I wait.”
Melody signaled the waitress for a coffee and slid into the booth. As usual, her makeup was runway perfect, accentuating her porcelain skin and auburn hair. Natural, of course.
“You know I hate you, right?”
Melody laughed. “You say that whenever I wear something you love.”
“Which is every time.”
“You know you can borrow my stuff any time you want.”
“It would have to be hats or purses,” Winter groused. “I’m built more like a test tube than an hour glass.”
“Rubbish. Your figure is fantastic, and I’ve got heaps of things that would look fabulous on you.”
Winter gave her a wry smile. “I hope that’s true, because I’ve come here looking for a favor.”
“Of course. What do you need?”
“A bit of help, really. I’ve been invited to a fundraiser.” Winter ticked the items off on her fingers. “The guest list is exclusive, moneyed, and influential. And to complicate matters, it’s themed, masks and all.”
“You want me to make you something?”
“I wish.” If Melody created something for Winter, she’d outshine everyone else at the gala. “Unfortunately, you won’t have time. I know how busy you are, and the ball is Saturday after next.” Which was no time at all when it could take Melody months to make a single gown. “I’m just wondering if you can point me in the right direction. This isn’t the kind of event where I can just hire a costume.”
“Hire?” Melody shuddered. “Over my dead body.” She pulled a notepad from her purse. “What’s the theme?”
Winter screwed her nose up. “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
Melody chuckled, her blue eyes sparkling. “I can just see you going as the Queen of the Fairies.”
“Stop, please. Can you imagine how many old, bald, and overweight Oberons I’m going to have to deal with?”
“Not to mention the thin, surgically stretched Tatianas.”
“Ugh. Now I really don’t want to go.”
Melody sat back and folded her arms. “So, why are you?”
“I’m working on a story. I’ll be undercover, attending the ball as someone else.”
Leaning forward, Melody picked up her pencil and made some notes. Then she tapped her pencil on the pad, staring off into the middle distance. Suddenly, she snapped her gaze back to Winter. “Right. I think I have something at the loft we can repurpose. Can you come over Monday night?”
“Yes, of course.”
“It will have to be late. Is ten okay?”
“I’ll fit in with whatever time you have.” Winter reached over and laid her hand over Melody’s. “Are you sure, Mel? I know how busy you are and I didn’t expect—”
“I’m sure.” She gave Winter an easy smile. “And, if the people there are as cashed up as you think, then it won’t hurt to get one of my designs in front of them.”
“Ah, that makes me feel better. You make me a dress, and I’ll pimp your creative services.”
“Deal.”
They stayed chatting for another twenty minutes, then Melody had to leave for her next appointment. Winter ordered another cup of coffee and a what-the-hell slice of pecan pie. She kept her notebook open as she ate, but there was so much crap bouncing around in her head, she didn’t even pick up her pen.
Kasim, Ben, the benefit, and the HEC—all of it jumbled up inside her until she couldn’t think. And she only had a bit over a week to sort herself out. There was no way she could swim in HEC-infested waters in her current state of mind.
****
Over the next few days, Winter worked on her commissioned stories. She was a freelancer, so her time was her own, but she still had deadlines to meet. And she wanted to get ahead of schedule so she could dedicate some serious time and energy into her HEC exposé. Assuming all went in the next week or so.
She spoke to Ben a couple of times on the phone, and arranged to go out to dinner with him Monday night. That way she could use her appointment with Melody as a legitimate excuse to cut the evening short.
By
Wednesday, her commissioned articles were done and she even had time to do some preliminary work on the HEC story. So, work-wise, she was right on top of her responsibilities.
Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for her emotional life. She thought about Kasim all the time, and he took over her brain so often she’d lost count of the times she’d caught herself staring off into space. That annoyed the hell out of her because work had always been her refuge. The place she could shut out everyone and everything and just do the thing she loved. She kept hoping her Kasim obsession was a temporary aberration, because she couldn’t bear the thought of pining for him long-term.
The days were bad enough, but the nights were unbearable. As soon as she slipped into bed, the memory of him closed around her like a fist. And when she turned out the light, he filled her mind and senses to the point where she could almost feel him. Almost smell him. Almost touch him.
But of course, touching was off limits. That was what had got her into trouble in the first place.
Thursday, Jaz called to invite Winter to Tallis’s penthouse for dinner, so they could go over the security plans for the benefit. Winter was sure Kasim wouldn’t be there, but she braced herself just in case.
Jaz lived with Tallis in his penthouse on lower East Side. It had security up the wazoo, so Winter dutifully checked in with the armed guard and waited while he called up to the penthouse. She was on the approved visitor list, but nobody was allowed to just walk on in. A second security guard escorted her to the elevator and waited for the dedicated lift to be sent down. He ushered her in, pressed the button for the thirty-fifth floor, and stepped back.
Winter leaned against the mirrored wall, watching the light display race from G to 35. The doors pinged open and she made her way down a wide, plush hallway. She hadn’t quite reached the door before it opened and Jaz came hurtling out.
They threw their arms around each other as though it had been months, not days, since they’d last been together. Releasing Winter, Jaz grinned and towed her inside. “You’ll be pleased to know I only bought one bottle of wine for tonight.”
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