Hadar and Kasim clambered inside, joining Deasun and Tallis.
“What do we know? Kasim asked.
“Not enough, I’m afraid.” Tallis turned, reaching between the seats to grip Kasim by the arm. “I’m sorry, my brother. Without the devices we gave her, there’s no way to track where she is.”
For a moment, everything went blank. Kasim couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, couldn’t feel. There was nothing but an abyss of terror so deep it smothered his senses. Then everything came back with a rush. His heart beat too hard and fast, his blood roared in his ears, and his whole body shook in uncontrolled tremors.
“No. We have to…”
Do what? Go back in time? That was the only thing that would change the current circumstance.
“Let’s go to Kasim’s place,” Tallis said. “We can regroup and maybe come up with a strategy to find Winter.”
Kasim didn’t answer. He couldn’t seem to order his thoughts sufficiently for speech. Winter was gone and it was his fault. He’d talked her into going to the ball, he’d promised her he’d keep her safe. And instead he’d delivered her to the enemy.
Closing his eyes, he searched for the ice he used to shield his heart. When he’d been raped at fourteen, that cold, hard layer had been the only thing that allowed him to function. It sealed off his emotions, created a barrier for his demons, and allowed him to function—in public, at least.
But the ice was nowhere to be found. No matter how hard he tried, it wouldn’t come. Winter had broken through his protections, and now his feelings for her had pushed the ice out of reach.
Curling himself into a ball, he buried his face in her dress and started praying.
****
By the time they arrived back at the converted warehouse, the me’hendra had arrived. Kasim walked into the living room and he barely had time to brace himself before Shallamar launched herself at him. Shoving Winter’s dress on a nearby table, Kasim dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around his me’hendra.
Me here now, she said. All better.
How Kasim wished that was true. I’m glad to see you, my friend. Squeezing tight, he buried his face in the plush fur at the back of her neck.
He heard his brothers talking. People moved around the room, dishes and silverware clanked, voices murmured. And still he stayed on the floor, locked around Shallamar.
After a while, he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. “We’ve given you as much time as we can.” Tallis gave him a sympathetic squeeze. “But we have to start work.”
“Of course.” Kasim straightened, rubbed his dry eyes and then rose to his feet.
Following Tallis, he walked to a conversation nook formed by four armchairs with matching side tables. Each table held a plate of sandwiches and snacks, a glass of water, and a can of soda. Not sure he could stomach anything, Kasim took a seat. Shallamar pressed herself between his legs, sat down, and rested her head on his thigh. Grateful for the support, Kasim buried his fingers in her fur.
Tallis, Deasun, and Hadar took their seats, with Itohan, Piala, and Kotiri sitting or curling up next to their rhe’hashan.
Hadar was the first to speak. “We know the location of the lab where the HEC held you, Kasim. And we know the location of the facility where they held Jasmine. It’s unlikely they would use either of those sites, but I’ve asked Lioth to do a flyover, just in case.”
Lioth’s animal half was a harbinger, a large bird of prey as black as night. In his feathered form, Lioth could utilize a special harness that held all manner of information gathering tech. When Tallis had led his friends to rescue Jasmine, Lioth’s intel had proved invaluable.
“I appreciate Lioth’s efforts,” Kasim said. “But we can’t put his skills to use unless we know where to look. His flyover of the lab and the warehouse will simply confirm what we already know. She won’t be there.”
“Perhaps not.” Deasun’s copper-colored eyes burned with sympathy. “But there’s a chance he could pick up another trail. We won’t know until he checks it out.”
Tallis placed his empty plate on his side table. “Can Shallamar track Winter? When Jasmine was taken, Itohan was the one who found her trail. We ran for hours before I was close enough track her on my own.”
Shallamar. Can you hunt Winter?
No. Itohan knew Jasmine was Tallis’s mate. Tallis belongs to Itohan, so did Jasmine.
And you don’t think Winter is my mate?
Shallamar shook her head. You sing her your song, but not in a way she understands. And you don’t listen to hers.
By the Goddess, his failures kept mounting. Shallamar was right. He had sung his song for Winter, but he’d done it quietly and without explaining the significance to her. Raising his head to look at his brothers, he shook his head. “I care deeply for Winter, but I was so busy protecting myself I didn’t let her hear my song. And I refused to hear hers.” Which was an act of emotional cowardice that could cost Winter her life.
“As far as Shallamar’s concerned, Winter’s not my mate.” Which meant there was no reason for the me’hendra to take an interest.
There was a long pause. “Does anyone have any ideas?” Deasun asked.
Nobody spoke, and the silence was its own kind of death knell.
****
Winter woke, groggy and nauseated. Forcing her gummy eyelids open, she slowly took stock. She didn’t seem to be carrying any injuries, so she carefully rolled up onto one elbow. The room tilted and whirled, and she slumped back down until her head stopped swimming. Then she tried again.
The room she was in was mid-sized, with no windows and two doors. Her bed was against one wall, there was a table and chairs on the wall opposite the door, and on the far side of the room was another cot. Currently occupied by a still-unconscious Ben.
Easing herself into a sitting position, Winter took some long deep breaths in an attempt to settle her stomach. She looked down at her socked feet and realised she was wearing someone else’s clothing. In addition to the socks, she wore black sweat pants and a zippered hoodie with a t-shirt underneath. No bra, but she hadn’t been wearing one under her ball gown. She did a quick visual check and was relieved to find she was wearing her own panties. Thank goodness for small mercies.
Everything else was gone, including her jewelry and the tech it hid. Which meant Kasim would have no way to trace her whereabouts. A fact so terrifying everything inside her froze. She hung her head, gripping the cot in a white-knuckled hold as she tried to force her lungs to work. Her vision blurred and she became so lightheaded she almost gave in to the urge to lie down again.
She’d known infiltrating the HEC would be dangerous, but she hadn’t realised how much she’d relied on Kasim’s promise to keep her safe. She’d weighed the risks, but that scale had been balanced by the knowledge that she’d have Jendari tech and four rhe’hashan at her disposal.
And it had all gone horribly wrong. Now she was alone and vulnerable, imprisoned by people who were ruthless enough to kill her if they believed her to be a threat. Her body shook, chills racing over skin even as she broke into a sweat.
Christ on a crutch. She had to pull herself together.
She had no idea how long she sat there, beating back the panic, trying to get her adrenaline-drenched body under control. Seconds felt like minutes, and those minutes seemed to drag on for hours.
Finally, Winter’s breathing returned to normal. While her shakes hadn’t entirely dissipated, they’d eased enough that she released her stranglehold on the cot.
She was on her own. That fact couldn’t be avoided, and there was no point hiding her head up her ass. If she was going to survive long enough to escape, she had to be smart and focused. She’d have to find her own way out.
Trying to view that knowledge as a challenge rather than a terrifying reality, Winter wobbled to her feet and shuffled off in search of a bathroom.
There were two doors in the room, one heavily built and no doubt fortified. The other was clearly an inte
rior door. Hoping her bladder was going to have good news, Winter shambled across the vinyl floor.
The door opened to a small but clean bathroom and she sighed in relief. The door had no lock, which was no surprise. Closing it behind her, she went about her business with as much speed as she could muster in her current fragile state.
As she washed her hands, she glanced in the above-sink mirror and then wished she hadn’t. She looked as bad as she felt. Her makeup was smudged, and her eyes were red from sleeping with her contact lenses in. Her hair was pinned tight to her head to accommodate the wig that was now nowhere in sight, and her lipstick was dry and cracked.
Right. One thing at a time. Running the cold tap, she took several gulps of water in the hopes that it would settle her stomach. Then she turned on the hot faucet.
Adjusting the water to the right temperature, she doused her face and used the plain bar of soap to wash off as much makeup as she could. After patting her face dry with some paper towels, she checked in the mirror and decided she needed a second round.
It took three before her face was finally clean. Then she went to work on her hair, pulling out pins and rubber bands, placing them carefully in her pocket just in case she found a use for them.
Once her hair was free, she finger-combed it and pulled it into a ponytail before using an elastic to secure it in a messy bun.
Then she washed her hands again, making sure they were as clean as they could be before she removed her blue contact lenses. Finally, she looked like herself. Dark hair, brown eyes, and makeup free.
She couldn’t lie to herself and say she felt better. But if she was going to be interrogated, she wanted to at least appear as though she had her shit together.
When she came out of the bathroom, Ben was sitting on his bed, his back resting against the wall.
“Who the fuck are you?”
Winter shook her head and made her way back to her cot. “Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters.” Ben was rightfully angry, his hard eyes following every move she made. “You played me for a fool.”
“I’m sorry.” And she was in a way. “It was never my intention to hurt you.”
“Really?” The expression on his face was malicious. “You inserted yourself into my life using a fake persona, and you didn’t think I’d be upset? You used me to access sensitive aspects of HEC, but you never intended for me to be hurt?”
She just looked at him. There was nothing she could say to defend herself. From his perspective, the accusations were true.
“You’re a cast-iron bitch.” He leaned forward. “At least tell me who you work for.”
This was the point where her fate could tip one way or the other. She had to assume she and Ben were being monitored, so whatever she said would be heard by whoever held them captive. What she had to decide, and quickly, was whether the truth would help or hinder her situation.
She had to tell them something, and she figured they had ways of extracting information that she wouldn’t be able to resist. So the truth it would be—for the most part.
“My real name is Winter Nayar. I’m a freelance journalist working on a story about the HEC.”
“A journalist.” Ben was not impressed, nor did he seem inclined to believe her. “I suppose you’re an alien-lover as well.”
She hadn’t been when she started her story, but she was now. “I’m more of a live-and-let-live kind of person. I don’t agree with imprisoning and torturing anyone, human or Jendari.”
“My God.” Slumping forward, Ben cradled his head in his hands. “I played right into your hands. You must have thought I was the chump of the century when I took you to the lab.” He scrubbed his hands through his hair. “God, I was such an idiot.” He lifted his head, his eyes full of hate. “You helped it escape, didn’t you?”
It not him. “Yes.” And she’d do it again in a heartbeat.
“Well, you’re going to pay for that in ways you never expected.” He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You know they won’t let you walk out of here alive.”
“I suspected as much.” But hearing it spoken out loud almost made her pee her pants. Hoping to appear steady, she held herself absolutely still. “I have measures in place to insure my safety.” That was a lie. Her safety measures began and ended with the jewelry that was no doubt in some HEC strong box by now.
“What kind of measures?”
She shrugged a nonchalance she didn’t feel. “I have detailed notes on everything I’ve learned about HEC, and I have photographs and documents that verify my research. The information I have may not bring HEC down, but it will put a big enough dint in its reputation that questions will be asked. I have enough proof to put a very large spike in the HEC’s wheel.”
“And where is this information being held?”
“At a law office. If I don’t present myself to them by close of business on Monday, safe and unharmed, they have instructions to release the information to the press.” She hoped Ben and whoever was listening couldn’t hear the lie in her voice.
The truth was her story was on her computer, waiting for any half-decent hacker to crack it open. And the only people who knew she was conducting an investigation were Kasim and his friends. They’d be doing their best to find her, but they wouldn’t be able to go to the police or the human media.
So she was on her own, and the only protection she had was a thinly woven lie.
Chapter Nineteen
Kasim stood at the floor-to-ceiling windows of his home and stared out into the darkness. The moon and stars were covered by heavy clouds, and the oppression suited his mood.
Since Winter had been taken, he’d existed in an emotional vise. For a night and a day he’d tumbled from frustration to anger to helplessness, and everything in between. Winter was out there, alone and vulnerable, and the Goddess only knew what depravities her captors were visiting on her. He had first-hand knowledge of how creative the HEC’s scientists could be, and he had no doubt the people who took Winter were even more sinister.
He was so sick with worry it was a constant battle not to throw up. Winter had trusted him, with her body and her life. And he’d let her down in every way a male could. He was desperate to make it up to her, but he didn’t know how to even begin. Finding Winter and getting her to safety was his priority, but that wouldn’t do anything to mitigate his failure.
And finding her was no certainty. So far they’d come up empty on everything they’d tried.
The waiting was unbearable. Every minute Winter was missing was a minute closer to her death—or worse. The HEC could do things to her that would break her so thoroughly death would be preferable. He knew all too well what it felt like to be at the physical and emotional mercy of someone stronger. And when he’d been raped at fourteen, it had just been him and the trapper. Kasim didn’t even want to think about how many men would have access to Winter.
Nausea boiled in his belly and he broke into a sweat. When the shakes started, Kasim realised he was on the brink of a panic attack. Before he embarrassed himself, or brought his frailties to his brothers’ attention, Kasim sang his song and triggered the phase.
As soon as he was furred and clawed, the tremors stopped. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for the thoughts that cluttered his mind. Dropping down onto his belly, he put his head on his paws and stared out at the empty night.
He vaguely registered the murmur of male voices in the background. Tallis, Deasun, Hadar, and their me’hendra hadn’t left Kasim’s home since they’d returned last evening. Shallamar stayed by his side, as always, yet Kasim had never felt more lonely.
His demons and his aversion to touch had always set him apart, forcing him to hover at the edges of his friendships rather than being in the middle of them. And somehow, his brothers had understood and loved him anyway. They’d made space for him, given him a place to belong, and allowed him to fulfil his role as best as he was able.
Kasim loved them. He would ki
ll for them. But right now he was so heartbroken he was utterly disconnected. He couldn’t hold onto his bond with them, or with Shallamar. The impotent rage inside him left no room for anything but the desperation to save his mate.
His mate.
It was the first time he’d allowed himself to think the words, and now they’d taken form, they wouldn’t be denied. Strangely enough, the idea didn’t feel like a thunderclap. It felt more like a slow thaw, as though the ice around him had finally melted and left this one truth behind. Winter was his mate. He’d been slowly falling in love with her, and now his heart was overtaken by her, he had no defenses left.
He growled, frustrated with himself and the world. If he’d acknowledged the truth of his feelings earlier, maybe he would have been able to track Winter. Maybe he would have had the sense to talk her out of going to the fundraiser at all.
What a fuck up. He could lay here all night and indulge in could-haves and should-haves, but that wouldn’t get him any closer to rescuing his mate.
The comm unit beeped and Kasim ignored the intrusion. Lioth and Zendar, both winged in their animal form, had been flying recon. They searched the city from the air, trying to find some hint of where Winter might be. They’d been checking in regularly, even though there’d been nothing to report. Borini had also utilized his resources, tracking phone calls and vehicle movements of known HEC members. To no avail.
Winter had been gone for more than forty-eight hours and they were no closer to finding her than when she first went missing.
Another beep on the comm. He’d become so used to the sound, it took him a moment to realize the atmosphere in the room had changed. Turning from the window, he saw his brothers hurrying toward the comm unit.
Kasim phased, and as soon as he was on two legs, he ran across the room. He came to a skidding to a halt next to Deasun. “What is it?”
Dea gave him a lunatic grin. “One of our trackers just went live.”
“What?” That didn’t make any sense. If Winter had managed to chemically tag someone at the ball, they would have had that information last night.
Breaking Ice (The Jendari Book 2) Page 17