by RH Tucker
Somehow he’s shifted, and while still holding me, I’m higher on the bed than him. His arms are wrapped around me, his face laying across my chest. A feeling hits me that only lasts for a second, before the doubt creeps in, and I wish I could hold onto it longer.
He’s asleep, and while he’s never given me a reason to second-guess why he thinks and calls me beautiful, I don’t one hundred percent believe it. But here, now, I’m the one that’s here for him. He needs only me, and I love that feeling. Then it’s gone.
I’ll shift, or he’ll move just an inch, and my mind goes into overdrive. What if he wakes up and looks up at me, and sees a double chin? Or I’ll feel his fingers on me, and while they are on my skin and logically I know that’s all it is, and he isn’t even conscious of it because he’s still asleep, I’ll move so I can pull my shirt down, and place his hand on top of it.
After Cindy’s little experiment at the mall, I’ve tried not to think about it, but it’s still in the back of my mind. The worst part is the warning she gave me. How long will my feelings of inadequacy be tolerated by Micah before he just gets tired of it?
Yeah, I could blame Tim for making me feel that way, and I do because he did. But the truth is, I’ve always felt like I wasn’t as pretty as some of the other girls because of my weight. Even when Cindy jokes and says it helps that I have an ‘hourglass’ figure, I retort with my usual come back, “Yeah, an extra-large hourglass. It’s only because my ass got jealous of my boobs and wanted to be just as big.”
So, yeah, holding Micah as he sleeps should feel perfect. And it does for a moment. Then reality comes crashing down on me.
I take a deep breath, running my fingers through his hair, wishing—pleading—that my brain would forget all of my insecurities. He stirs under me.
“Morning,” I lightly whisper.
“Morning.” His voices scratches. He leans up and kisses my cheek, before laying his head back down on my chest. “V, I’m gonna need you to stay over for, like, the rest of your life.”
I giggle. “And why is that?”
“Because these are the softest pillows I’ve ever slept on.” He laughs, his hand caressing me, making me quiver.
“You dumb boy,” I laugh at him.
“Silly girl.”
I liked his little pet name he started calling me from time to time so much that one night, I replied back with “dumb boy.” It’s kind of become our thing now.
“Seriously, though,” his hand continues to move, and he leans up, kissing my chin, “I love it when you sleep over. I …”
Pausing, he stares at me and bites his lips. I don’t wait to see what else he’s going to say; wrapping my hands around him, I bring him closer for a kiss.
As unbelievable as his hands feel over me, his lips make me feel even better. And I wish I could stay this close to him all day, but I know I can’t. “Remember, I have to get back home early. I have to help set up for my cousin’s quinceañera.”
He gives me a devilish grin, his tempting eyes burrowing into mine, then runs his hand lower until his fingers slide under the waistband of my underwear. “We better make this quick then.”
His lips hit mine, and I find that place I woke up with again. That place of bliss where I’m not concerned about what I look like. It’s just him and me. His lips and tongue with mine. And I feel like I’m enough, and I don’t have to worry about anything other than how he’s making me feel and how I want to make him feel.
Micah looks past me, eyeing my front door, as he waits to let me out of his truck. “So … when am I going to meet your family?”
Leaning over to him, I give him another kiss. “I’m not sure, but it will be soon. My brothers can be a little much, and I don’t want to subject you to that yet.”
He lets out a chuckle. “Well, thank you, but I’m a big boy. I can handle a big brother.”
“It’s more than that.” I let out a sigh. “I love him, but Toto is the oldest, and he acts like our second dad. It can be a bit … much.” I give his hand a squeeze and then kiss it. “Soon though, I promise. I really like that you want to meet them. What about your family?”
“You can come over tonight if you want. My dad is going to love you.”
I can’t help the nervous look I send him. “And your mom?”
He smirks, shrugging. “She’s a mom. I’m her baby. And for some reason—”
“Yeah,” I utter, somberly.
We’ve talked a little about his parents. He brought up the fact that his mom has asked him, on more than one occasion, if he’s going to get back together with Lana.
“Anyway,” I perk up, not wanting to think about my brothers or his mom or Lana, “I’ll text you tonight. We’ll probably have a lot of cleaning and stuff to do after.”
“Okay.” Smiling, he kisses me. “I do get to call your brother Toto when I meet him, right? I mean, I cannot not call him that, now that I know.”
“Probably not the best idea,” I reply back, laughing. “Bye.”
“Bye.” The smile he gives me pulls at my heart. We keep our hands connected until there’s no choice but to let go and I shut the door and head inside.
I never go through the front door, always through a side kitchen door that connects to our driveway. As soon as I walk inside, I hear the commotion of everyone and can smell my mom baking. The quinceañera is being held at my aunt and uncle’s because they live in a massive house with a lavish backyard setting. It should be a fun time, and I invited Cindy since she knows my cousin, but I’m surprised to see her at the house already.
Cringing, she loudly whispers, “I’m sorry!”
“Why?” I look at her in confusion.
“She’s here!” I see Miguel poke his head out of the hallway, then he shakes it at me.
“I forgot,” she whispers, dropping her head low. “I’m so stupid.”
After an incredible few morning hours with Micah, I’m piecing it all together. Cindy’s here already. That means she showed up to the house without me. Me. Who, after a month of using her as an excuse, should’ve been spending the night at her home last night. So why wouldn’t I show up with her this morning?
“Oh my God.” I drop my head, covering my face with my hands.
Javier walks out from the hallway, wagging his finger at me with a teasing smirk. “Tsk, tsk, tsk.”
“Oh no, no, no, no.” It comes out muffled, my hands still covering my face.
“Ai, mija,” my mom says, and I look up to see her giving me a comforting smile, but still shaking her head. My father appears behind her, stares at me, and then walks into the other room. He doesn’t say anything because I know there’s only one person left, and my dad has let him handle boyfriend matters when it comes to me.
Tomás steps out of the hallway and stares at me, crossing his arms. “Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.” He stares at Cindy, who keeps her face averted. “Or should I say, didn’t drag in.”
I was dreading this. I knew eventually I was going to have to tell them—him—about Micah, and I’ve wanted to. But I know how they react. Starting in middle school, if I even hinted at having a crush on a boy, Javier, Miguel, and Tomás would jump in and give me the third degree. Then they’d hound the boy, who half the time didn’t even have a clue why they were interrogating them because I never told any of my crushes I liked them. Then came Tim and he actually handled it very well. Miguel and Javier are still friendly with him, and he even won over Tomás. All of that is because I never told them the real reason we broke up.
But Tomás’ tone and the way he looks at Cindy put me on edge. I shouldn’t have to lie about liking a boy or worry about bringing him home because of my brothers. Especially a guy I really like, like Micah.
“No,” I snap at Tomás. He turns and looks at me like I’m crazy. “This is not her fault, Toto. This is your fault.”
“My fault?” His jaw drops. “Oh, please explain to me how you having a boyfriend and lying to your family about it is
my fault.”
“Why do you think I’ve had to lie about this? Because you guys are so overbearing!”
“Overbearing?” Miguel appears and leans against the wall, watching us. I don’t see him, but I can feel Javier behind me.
“Yes.” I point to Miguel and then look back at Javier. “All of you. You guys! I’m not six years old.” Pointing back at Tomás, I take a step toward him. “I’m not your baby sister that has to be looked after. If Dad has a problem then that’s fine. But newsflash, Toto, you’re not Dad!”
“V, come on.” Miguel looks at me. “You’re our little sister. Of course, we’re going to worry.”
“Worry is one thing. What you guys do is overboard!”
“Vero—” Javier starts to speak, but I throw a hand in his face.
“No, Javi. You’re two years older than me. Two! And you think you know so much more than me. I’m an adult, you guys.”
“Adult, pft,” Tomás scoffs.
“Screw you. I’m turning nineteen next week. I just finished my first year of college.”
“Veronica,” Cindy whispers, maybe to calm me down, I’m not sure. But I’m over all of this.
“No, Cindy. They need to know I’m not some little girl anymore. If Mom or Dad have a problem with me dating, then they can bring it up. It’s not your job, Toto.”
“Vero, it is my job. You’re my baby sister, and I’m not gonna let some jerk or scumbag hurt you.”
“You already did!”
Cindy’s eyes widen because she knows I never told them about Tim. How do you tell your family that the boy you liked cheated on you and then said it’s because you’re too fat? Miguel straightens up on the wall. Javier walks in front of me, next to Miguel.
Tomás stares at me, confused. “What?”
The embarrassment isn’t coming into play, as I stare back at him. “Tim, okay? You guys couldn’t protect me from him, and he …” I gaze down at the ground, not wanting to repeat it.
“Vero, what the hell are you talking about?” Javier asks.
“Did he do something?” Miguel speaks up. “Vero, I swear to God, if he did something—”
“No, you guys.” I let out a sigh, finally raising my eyes to meet Tomás. “He didn’t do anything. At least, not like you’re thinking. He cheated on me, okay?”
“I’m kicking his ass,” Miguel shouts.
“Oh, that little prick is gonna die,” Javier adds.
“No, you guys, don’t do anything. It was over a year ago. It’s just …” My anger is fading away, and now the embarrassment is creeping back in. Thankfully, Cindy walks over to me and hugs my arm. “He cheated on me, and he said it was because I’m too big.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Miguel says with pure malice. “I don’t care what you say, he’s going down for that.”
“Toto?” I look up at my big brother. His anger is gone, too; replaced with disappointment and sadness.
“You guys,” he begins, clearing his throat, “don’t mess with him. If Veronica says it’s fine, then it’s fine.”
“What?” Javier gapes at him in shock.
Tomás looks back at me for reassurance. “Vero?”
“Yes, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m—” A nervous laugh lets loose. “I’m seeing someone else now. He’s nice.”
“Fine.” Javier shakes his head and walks away grumbling something.
“I won’t do anything,” Miguel says, pushing off the wall. “But I see him around a lot. All you have to do is say the word, and his tires get slashed.”
I nod, giving him an appreciative smirk, and head to my room. “Come on, Cindy.”
I’m just about to close my door and decompress everything that’s happened when Tomás stops it from closing. “Hold on, one more thing. Well, two more.”
“What?”
He takes a long breath, but his eyes don’t meet mine. They look around, first at the door, then at Cindy behind me, then down to the floor. “Um … shit.”
“What is it, Toto?”
“Look,” he meets my eyes, holding in a breath, “this isn’t easy for me—”
“Just spit it out already.”
“Have you had sex?”
My eyes pop open. “Oh my God! That’s none of your business.”
“How many times did you say you were staying at Cindy’s when you were really with … what’s his name?”
“Micah. And again, it’s none of your business.”
“I’m just saying, you need to be safe and—”
“Toto! Stop!”
His face is entirely red, and if I weren’t so shocked about him asking, I’d probably be laughing at his color. “Fine, whatever. The other thing is dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“Yes,” he says matter-of-factly, and is returning to his usual, overbearing, big brother self. “Tomorrow. He’s coming over for dinner. We’re meeting him.”
“No, we’re not—”
“It’s not up for discussion. He’s coming, or I send Miguel and Javi out to trail him morning noon and night until it happens.”
“Fine, fine!”
“Thank you.” He smiles confidently and leaves.
I shut the door, leaning against it.
“Well, that went better than I expected it to.” Cindy smirks.
“I’m going to kill you.”
Lifting her shoulders, she raises her eyebrows. “So, just so I’m up-to-date, I know you guys haven’t, but I didn’t get to ask you about last night. So …”
I shake my head and walk over to my bed, falling down. “You’re insane, you know that? And no, we still haven’t.”
“Okay.”
“But I think …” I trail off, biting my lip.
“You think?” She gives me a curious grin.
“I think I want to. Next week. On my birthday.”
“Oh, I like it.” She rubs her hands together, mischievously. “That is, if he survives the dinner, right?
“Yeah, if he survives.”
Chapter 13
Micah
Waking up to Veronica is a feeling I’ve gotten so used to that when she doesn’t sleep over, it feels lonely. I want her next to me when I go to sleep and when I wake up. I love having her close.
I love her.
I was almost going to tell here that before I freaked out. I can’t love her already, can I? Do I really love her this soon?
Yes. I do.
I wasn’t only freaking out about my revelatory feelings, but how she might respond. Would she flip out? Where’s her heart at right now? Could she love me already, too? All questions that sped through my mind as I held her in the morning, nearly uttering the words.
Before dropping her off, I tried not to think about it. When is a good time to tell a girl that? I mean, with Lana it was after a couple months, but even then it didn’t feel monumental. She told me one night. I thought about it for a moment and figured that I did love her. We were going out. We’d already had sex. It must’ve been love.
This is nothing like that.
I don’t feel like I should wait and see how it plays out. I don’t know what she’s feeling, but I know what I am. I love her. I just don’t know when I should tell her.
A new freak-out moment comes later in the day. It’s weird to get a call from her since she usually texts me. I went to work, and when I get home, she calls me up.
“Hey, how’s the quinceañera?”
“Uh, it’s good. Fun. Lots of good food.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah …” She trails off, and it sounds different.
“Everything all right?”
“Um … yeah. Yes. Everything’s good.”
“Okay, because you don’t sound like everything’s good.”
“No, no. Everything’s fine. My cousin is having a great time. Cindy’s flirting with some guy. It’s all good.” I don’t reply. There’s something she’s not telling me. “Okay, there is one thing.”
“What’s up
?”
“So, uh, my brothers? They … they know about you.”
“Oh.” I’m not sure why she sounds nervous, but finding out her brothers know about me comes as a relief. She knows I’ve wanted to meet her family. And even though I want to meet them, it’s her next words that make me realize why she’s so nervous, and that same feeling transfers over to me.
“Yeah. And Toto wants you to come over to dinner. Tomorrow. It’s not a request.”
“Oh … wow. Okay. I’ve been saying I want to meet them anyway.”
“Micah, you don’t have to though. I don’t care what they say, I’m not going to force you to meet them and get hounded by them just so they can prove they’re my big brothers.”
Her defensive tone over me puts me at ease. “V, it’s all good. I need to meet your dad anyways, right?”
She lets out a nervous laugh. “Trust me, it’s not my dad you have to worry about. My father trusts Toto. Like I said, he’s like a second father figure, and that’s for a reason. He’s helped us all when my dad has worked to support us.”
“Okay, I get it.”
“Seriously, Micah. You could become my dad’s best friend. You could win him over within five minutes of meeting him, but if Toto and Miguel don’t like you—maybe Javi, too, but he’s only two years older—if those two don’t approve of you, then my dad will just treat you as another person. Someone he’s nice to but nothing more. I mean, it’ll be horrible, and they’ll be standoffish, and Miguel will tease you, and Toto—”
“Hey, hey,” I try to quiet her on the phone. “Vero, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. It’ll be great,” I answer, chuckling. “What time am I supposed to go over?”