by RH Tucker
“You want to be an artist, like your dad.”
I shake my head. “That’s my goal. I don’t know if I ever told you my dream. My dream was to live a life like my father. Not just a job, but everything. And that dream doesn’t come true unless I have someone to share my life with like he does. You’re my dream. I need you. Otherwise, this isn’t the life I’ve dreamt about having.”
“But—”
“You wrote that I’ve been more vocal about my insecurities, and maybe you’re right. But I haven’t told you everything.” Leaning back, she peers up at me. “I haven’t told you that I hated having you sleep over some days because I knew Taylor was home and I didn’t want you to see him, and think about upgrading.”
Through her tears, she laughs and then makes a gagging sound. “Ew, Micah.”
“I haven’t told you that while I brought flowers for your mom, I did it purely to try and impress her, hoping I’d look better than any other guy that might’ve met your parents before.” Another light chuckle, shaking her head. “And I haven’t told you that I did everything I could to hide how insecure I was when you went on vacation with your family. Why do you think I texted you so much? I didn’t know who was down there. I didn’t know if you’d see some guy on the beach and decide to have some vacation fling.”
“Micah, I would never—”
“I know. I know you wouldn’t, but that doesn’t stop my fears from taking me over sometimes. You’ve countered my insecurities, whether you know it or not, just as much as I’ve countered yours. Being with you, while I may get jealous from time to time, is all I want. You make me forget that other people can betray you and remind me that some people are worth fighting for. You’re worth fighting for. Please, come back to me.”
“And later? It’s not gonna be too much when you have to keep telling me how much you love—”
My lips crash into hers, cutting off her words. Locking her fingers behind my neck, she pulls me closer. Her scent encapsulates me, while her lips and tongue cure every part of the pain I’ve had from being without her. Running my fingers through the curls I’ve missed for far too long, I never want to break apart from her. Even as we separate to catch our breath, and her lips are only inches from mine, it’s still too far.
Reaching up, I wipe away the last tear. “Never. It’ll never be too much. I’ll tell you every hour of every day for the rest of my life. I love you. Without you, I’ll need a new dream. Please don’t make me find a new dream because nothing else will come close to this.”
Putting her hand to my cheek, she offers me a small smile.
“Is that a yes?” I ask, and she nods. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for not giving up on me. On us.”
“Never.”
Chapter 38
Veronica
It’s been a few weeks, and things are going good. Micah continues to tell me he loves me and that I’m beautiful—and I continue to try and work on believing him. My self-confidence issue seems more significant than his trust issues, but I know he has them still, even if he doesn’t tell me. So, I’ll do little things here and there, to keep the balance between us.
Like a couple days ago, I’d just left my last class of the day, and I usually wait for Micah’s class to end. Ryan, a guy I’m in class with, held the door open for me as I left. I went over and leaned against a small barricade, pulling out my phone while I waited for Micah.
“Hey,” Ryan said. “I was wondering if you want to grab a drink at the café with me. I’ve got twenty minutes before my next class.”
He’s a cute guy. Broad shoulders, shorter hair than Micah’s that’s just a touch darker shade of brown. His midnight blue eyes are confident. He gives off that arrogant air that Taylor does, but I know Taylor, so it makes him funny. With Ryan, it comes off as conceited.
“Oh, thanks, but I’m waiting for my boyfriend.”
“Ah,” he chuckled. “A boyfriend. He doesn’t let you get food or drinks without him?”
Wow, that’s rude. And completely expected from the little I know of him. But before I can reply, Micah appeared next to me, wrapping his arm around me.
“She can do what she wants,” he said, pulling me closer. “But I do get vetoing power if it’s some guy trying to hit on my girl.”
Ryan eyed Micah up and down, no doubt taken aback by him. I’m sure a pudgy girl like me, he was probably expecting someone completely opposite of Micah. Scolding myself, I remembered Cindy telling me to never think of a negative thing about myself without thinking of a positive. I’m … fun? I don’t know, I’m still working on it.
Ryan’s demeanor changed, and he raised his hands in defense. “Oh, my bad.”
“Yeah, it is your bad.” Micah stared him down.
I have to admit, it would’ve been scorching and lust-worthy how Micah got if I didn’t have an idea of what was going on in the back of his mind.
Wrapping my arms around him, I let out a soft giggle. “How was your class?” He doesn’t answer. Lifting my eyes, I see his vision clearly locked on Ryan as he continues to walk away. “Micah?”
“Yeah?” he responds, still staring.
“Hey.” I reach up and pull his chin down, so his eyes meet mine. “Stop doing that.”
His face finally softens, cracking a smile. “Sorry.”
Letting out a sigh, I grin with an idea of trying to defuse the situation. “He does have a cute butt.”
His jaw drops as he leans back, staring at me like I’ve gone crazy. “Excuse me?”
“What? I mean, it’s not all perfect and pinchable like yours, but you know, as far as butts go …”
He shook his head, laughing. “That’s it. I’m forcing you to come to school with blindfolds on.”
“Dumb boy.”
So, yeah, he still has some issues, but I think we’ll be okay.
My eyes crack open as I lay in bed, feeling his hand on my waist, his thumb caressing my skin. When I see him, he’s already staring at me, smiling, and leans in with a kiss.
“Morning,” he says with a smile.
“Morning. How long have you been awake?”
“Only a few minutes.”
My lips curve up with the thought of him watching me sleep, then I remember his words. “Okay, that’s not creepy at all.”
Laughing, he quickly kisses me again. His lips travel down my chin and along my neck. As I run my fingers through his hair, he moves lower. “Micah—” I try to talk, but my breath is caught short. “You know I’m—”
“I know, I know. Out of order,” he says with a chuckle. “I was thinking something while you were sleeping.” His head hovering over my stomach, a slight tinge of nervousness hits me as his hands slide under the hem of my shirt, pushing it up slightly. I’ve worn the lingerie a couple of times, but most of the time I still sleep in one of his shirts.
“Can I?” he asks, looking up at me. I know he won’t move it anymore unless I give him the okay, and somehow that puts me at ease. Biting my lip, I give him a slight nod.
Keeping my hands on his head, I stare up at the ceiling and feel my shirt lift up just below my chest. He lays his face down on my stomach, and I feel his hand slide over my hip. As skittish as this position makes me, there’s also a calm sweeping over me. He moves his face a little, and his stubble scratches and slightly tickles. Then his hand lands over my belly button, and he pauses.
“So, I have to tell you something,” he whispers, sending a pang of anxiety through me. “I was watching you sleep right now, and a thought hit me. You know how I feel right now, no matter how you look. But one day you’ll be bigger than you are.” The anxiety morphs into real panic as he looks up at me. “And when that day comes, I’m going to be honest, my feelings are going to change for you.”
I shut my eyes, trying to force away any negative thoughts. Micah loves you, I repeat in my mind. He pulls down my shirt and crawls back up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Do you want to know why?”
/>
I work on my thoughts again, trying to remember everything he says he loves about me. Things I’m trying to love about myself. So even though the fear is there, I nod slowly, still keeping my eyes shut.
“You’re gonna be bigger because one day,” he chuckles, “not any day soon, but one day, you’re gonna be pregnant.”
His words halt any more thoughts. My eyes pop open.
“You’ll be a mom one day, Veronica. And I have no doubt you’re going to be an amazing mom. So when that day comes, and you’re carrying my baby—in case that isn’t clear.” He smiles, and it forces a small laugh out of me. “Of course you’re going to be bigger. And my feelings will change. I don’t know how because it’s kind of hard to fathom right now. I love you so much, and I can’t imagine loving you anymore. But I know, when that day comes, I will. Because you’ll not only be my love, but we’ll be starting a family, and I know that love is just going to grow. Somehow, I’ll love you even more, but I just don’t know what that’ll feel like until it comes.”
I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he kisses me with everything he has. His fingers sweep through my hair, as his other hand holds me tightly. The uncertain thoughts have vanished, replaced with nothing but searing love. To know that’s what he’s thinking makes me want to stay in bed with him, his hands on me, and my lips on his, forever.
His mouth breaks away from mine, and I sweep my fingers across his swollen lips. “I love you, Vero. I’ll always love you.”
I don’t want any space between us, so I reply while keeping my lips pressed against his. “I love you, too. And I really wish I wasn’t on my period right now.” My words make him chuckle.
“Silly girl.”
The End
Taylor
Shit, did I leave my TV on again?
I’ve done it before and had Micah hitting the walls, telling me to turn off my porno collection. I don’t have a porno collection. I just stream it. Who buys DVDs anymore?
Cracking my eyes open, I look down at the foot of my bed. Nope, TV is off. I hear the muffled moan again and realize it’s not a television. It’s Veronica.
For all her cutesy and innocent demeanor, I would’ve never guessed she was a screamer. I chuckle at the thought, grabbing my phone to check the time.
“Eight o’clock? Are you kidding me?”
Another moan, this one louder than the last, and she says calls out his name.
“Hey!” I slam my hand against my headboard. “I’m trying to sleep in here!”
I don’t have work for another three hours, which means I have another two hours and thirty minutes of sack time left. I’m not really upset at them either. Ever since transferring to Woodbridge High all those years ago, Micah’s become my best friend. Almost like a brother. And I’m happy for them. I really am. But if this is what it sounded like to Micah while he was single and I was having my fun, I seriously don’t know how he didn’t move out. Not only is it annoying, but now I’ve got a raging boner.
“Sorry!” Veronica’s muffled apology echoes through our apartment. I hear Micah laughing.
I’m just about to put my phone back on my nightstand when it dings with a text message.
AJ: Sorry, I know it’s early. U up?
Me: I’m up. What’s up, kid?
The thought bubbles pop up like he’s typing something then they disappear. They show up again and then they’re gone again.
AJ: U didn’t come to the recital anniversary?
I knew he was going to say it, yet it still stings.
Me: I know. I’m sorry. They scheduled me to work and I tried to it get off, but the only other day I could get was a day I had an exam in one of my classes.
AJ: It’s okay :(
I feel like a real bastard, but not just because I missed the anniversary of Reese’s recital. It’s because I’m lying. However, I can’t tell him the truth. I can’t tell him I have to distance myself away from all of that. That was a lifetime ago. I was a different person then. I can’t be that person anymore.
AJ: You’re still coming for her birthday though, right?
Of course I can’t say no to that. Nor would I ever want to.
Me: Absolutely, kid. I got cupcakes last year. Think she’ll like those again.
AJ: I was thinking cookies.
Me: Really?
AJ: Yeah, she loved oatmeal raisin.
I laugh at the screen. A genuine laugh that doesn’t happen a lot while talking about Reese.
Me: Yeah, she does.
It doesn’t go over my head that I still use the present tense with her. I always will.
Me: Okay, oatmeal raisin it is. We playing video games after? It is a tradition, after all.
AJ: Yeah, a tradition of me kicking your butt in any game you pick.
Me: We’ll see. I’ve been practicing. You better watch your back.
AJ: Alright, cool. Later T. I gotta go to school.
Me: Later, buddy.
Birthdays and anniversaries. They should be happy events filled with laughs and love. And I guess, in a way, they still kind of are. But it’ll never be the same. I’ll never be the same.
I know there’s no way I’ll be able to go back to sleep now. Might as well open an app.
“Nope.” I swipe left. “Hmm, maybe … naw.” Another swipe left. “Oh, you could be fun.” Swipe right.
My phone dings. It helps I keep the profile picture of myself right after an intense workout session.
Looks like I’ve got my day planned out. Head to the gym for work, after work stay for a workout session, hit up my late afternoon class, and end the day forgetting my past life with another face from the crowd. Hey, it’s worked so far.
FROM THE AUTHOR
Thank you so much for reading Through the Layers. If you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving a review. Reviews help other readers find the book.
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About the Author
RH Tucker lives in Southern California, writes contemporaries and urban fantasy, and drinks too much caffeine. If you’d like to connect on social media, just follow the links below!
For more Info
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Also by RH Tucker
The Rumor Has It series
Rumor Has It (Book 1)
True to You (Book 2)
Courting the Nerd (Book 2.5, a short story)
Heart Shaped Lock (Book 3)