by Dawn Doyle
His phone began to ring, and he pulled it out of his pocket, and I saw that Pike was calling him.
We were right back in friend mode when Logan answered the call. I could her Pike’s voice as he spoke.
“Hey, dude, we’re going to the batting cages tomorrow. Just giving you a heads up. Adam wants to practice even more before the game on Friday.”
“Um, ok. No problem. What time do we need to be there?”
“Straight after school, that’s why I’m calling, you need to bring your gear with you.”
“Ok, thanks.”
“Are you busy now? A few of us are heading over to the diner. Wanna join?”
Logan looked at me and I expected him to accept the invitation. I wouldn’t blame him, he and the guys had a big day on Friday and they needed all of the stress relieving activities they could get.
I could think of one I’d like to do.
“I am busy, actually. My Mom’s expecting me home soon, and I promised I’d be home for dinner.”
“No worries, dude. See you in school.”
Logan ended the call, and I could tell he was wary about something.
“Do you want to come over for dinner?” He asked, his face flushing a little.
“Sure. Won’t you have to let your Mom know? I mean, if she’s only expecting you…” I said, but Logan interrupted before I could finish.
“My Mom isn’t expecting me soon. I told her I’d call if I were coming home for dinner.”
“Why did you say that to Pike, then?”
Logan looked nervous as he chewed his bottom lip. I wanted to chew his lip so bad…
“Um…well… With the extra stress, Carl will probably be a dick. I don’t want there to be any fighting.”
“That’s easily solved. I just won’t go.” I said with a shrug. “It’s not like Pike was asking me.”
“He knows I’d ask you and, well, I’d rather spend my time with you than Carl, so…”
That makes sense. I thought to myself. Carl and I had already fought that day, which had caused tension between Logan and me. I didn’t want to bring that back up because we were tension free at the moment. Ok, maybe not completely tension free… for me.
“Ok, then. In that case, I’d love to go.”
Logan smiled, and we continued to watch the rest of our show. Ruffles stayed curled up between us and happily purred away, oblivious to the sound of my pounding heart.
After the show ended we picked up our things and I called to my Mom to let her know I was going over to Logan’s house. Not that she minded. Far from it, as long as he brought me back she was ok with it.
Driving down his street, my heart sank when I saw Matt’s car in the driveway. A black Volvo C30. Logan groaned at the same time I did.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized. “I don’t know why he’s here…again. He’s never at his own place lately.”
“It’s ok. I can deal with him. Nothing he can say will make me leave. It’s about time he got over the fact that we’re friends. I mean, it’s been almost three years for fuck’s sake.” I said.
“Yeah.” He replied, and I saw his brows crease a little. “Let’s go in.” He smiled, his expression had changed instantly.
*****
Throughout dinner, Logan’s parents, Libby and Daniel, talked about our friends, the baseball game, and the coming summer vacation. I felt awkward talking about ‘our’ friends because they weren’t technically mine. I was only ever there with Logan. I never hung out with them without him.
“I’ll be glad when it’s over.” I said, talking about senior year.
I wasn’t looking forward to another year of awkwardness, being overlooked, and the nasty comments from Carl.
“It’ll be fun going to the same college.” Libby said, with a smile. She’d always been nice to me and had a little glint in her eye whenever she spoke about mine and Logan’s friendship.
Matt snorted from beside Daniel.
“Will you share a room too? If so, won’t you mind the girls that Logan will be with?” He said, slyly.
“Matt!” Libby said, shocked at her sons’ comment.
I just rolled my eyes, not letting him see that it makes me sick to the stomach thinking about that. Ok, I know we won’t share a room. That would be too awkward, and it wasn’t allowed either. I mock yawned at Matt.
“Please change the record Matt, I’m bored.” I said, and Libby and Daniel exchanged glances to each other.
Matt didn’t say anything else, but I could feel his eyes on me as we finished our dinner. Logan leant into me and I felt a shiver down my spine when I felt his breath on my skin.
“That was awesome.”
I felt my face flame, and I swallowed the sudden pool of saliva that gathered in my mouth.
Glancing to Matt, I saw that he was narrowing his eyes, looking between us.
Logan stood, and I followed, walking into the living room with him. He picked up the remote to switch on the TV.
“I’ll just go and get some twizzlers.” Logan said, and he left me alone so he could get them from his secret hideaway in his room. If he didn’t hide them, Matt would steal them.
I was about to sit on the sofa when Matt entered the room.
“Logan would be better of without you.” Matt said as he walked towards me. “You’re just drowning his potential.” He added, and I had to fight the urge to slap him across the face.
“I’m not stopping Logan from doing anything.” I said, looking him right in the eye, letting him know that he wasn’t going to get to me this time.
Instead of walking away, Matt walked right up to me, getting in my space. He looked right at me and then let his eyes roam over my body, making me uncomfortable.
“Get lost, Matt.” I said, bored of his shit.
Logan walked into the room and instead of leaving, Matt made himself comfortable on the lounge chair, next to the sofa.
“Matt, leave Chase alone.” He said, gesturing for me to sit down on the sofa next to him.
“I wasn’t doing anything.” Matt replied, glancing to me with a knowing look in his eyes.
I wanted to ask him why he wasn’t at his own place, but I didn’t want to encourage any more conversation with him.
Sitting down, Logan scooted closer to me, causing my heart rate to kick up a notch.
“Here.” He said, handing me a twizzler.
Logan turned on the TV, turning it to the channel that was showing the dirt bike racing.
Matt, for once, stayed quiet as the race began, and I wondered if he were going to say something to either one of us for sitting close together. I could feel his eyes on me, and I saw him glancing at me intermittently.
Logan passed me more twizzlers, and I, wanting to keep the peace, passed one to Matt. I was surprised when he reached over and took it, saying nothing. I turned back to Logan, and he smiled at me before turning to the TV.
I felt my cheeks burn, and I bit my lip to stop the smile that was threatening to spread across my face. I loved how Logan smiled at me. His eyes sparkled when he did, and I could see the whites of his teeth.
I turned, and I glanced towards Matt, and he was staring at me, his eyes narrowed as if in thought. My stomach churned at the thought that he might have caught me gazing at his brother.
Oh shit. I hope he doesn’t realize that I’m in love with Logan! I thought to myself; My heart racing that he may just tell Logan what he saw.
The race finished, and the racer we were rooting for had won. Logan was happy about that, and Matt just got up and left the room, making eye contact with me as he did. I was glad that he didn’t say anything, but I was nervous that he would the second I was out the door.
“I should go. I need to check in on Bren tonight.” I said.
“Ok. I’ll come with you when I drive you back.” Logan said, as we walked to the front door.
He called to his parents that he would be out for a little while, before we left.
“I wonder what
Matt was up to?” Logan said on the drive back. “He’s never been that civil before.”
“I have no idea. It’s difficult to say what’s going on with him. I mean, he’s always an ass, but he managed to stay quiet for the race. It was… unnerving.”
“Yeah, you can say that again. Thanks, by the way, for giving him a twizzler. I bet that pissed him off that you were being nice when he’s such a dick.” Logan laughed.
“Yeah, I think that’s what shut him up.” I laughed.
Getting to Bren’s house, we walked through the door, and my Mom was already there. She was chatting to Bren and making her some tea.
“Oh, hello you two!” Bren said, happily, when she saw us.
“Hi, Bren” We said in unison.
“You’re Mom’s making some tea.” She smiled.
“I see.” I replied. “Have you tested her blood?” I asked, turning to my Mom.
“No, honey. Not yet.” She replied, stirring the teapot.
“I need to do that before you have tea.” I said to Bren, walking to the kitchen to grab the testing kit.
Again, I felt bad at drawing blood with the sharp tool. I placed her finger, with the drop of blood, on the paper as Logan stood by and watched. I inserted the paper into the end of the machine and pressed the green button.
“Ok, it’s seven-point-five. You’re ok.” I said, returning the kit to the kitchen. “No candy though. I don’t want you spiking through the night.” I warned her.
“Ok Miss bossy pants.” Bren giggled. “I’ll be good.”
We chatted about the upcoming game and our finals results. My Mom, and Bren, were both confident that we’d aced our tests for junior year. Bren also insisted that she wanted to attend the baseball game on Friday. My Mom agreed to take her so she could see Logan in ‘all his glory’. She winked at me, and I knew exactly what she was getting at. I’d mentioned how good he looked in his baseball uniform.
“Ok, I think it’s time you went to bed.” My Mom said to Bren, and she pouted like a child. “Come on, Bren. You need your sleep if you’re going to go to the game on Friday.”
“Then, I’ll get my sleep tomorrow night. I’m not tired.” She said, letting out a yawn that uncovered her lie.
We all laughed, and Bren winked at me.
“Fine, I’ll get my beauty sleep. Oh, and I’m taking pictures at the game young man.” She said, wiggling her finger at him. “I might not get to see another game for a while.”
“Bren, there’s another game after homecoming.” I told her. “You can come to that.” I said, and her eyes lit up.
“Oh I forgot about that.” She beamed. “Well, goodnight then.” She said, and I bent to kiss her cheek. “He keeps looking at you.” She whispered quietly, and I gasped.
I looked into her eyes, and she was beaming at me. I only hoped that what she said was true.
My Mom took Bren to her room, and Logan and I walked out of her house. I waited on the front porch, for my Mom.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Logan said. “I’ll pick you up again, ok?”
“Yeah, sure.” I replied, trying not to gaze at his eyes again. I was surprised when Logan put his arm around me in a bro’ hug. I closed my eyes for the split second that he held me and fought the urge to inhale him.
“See you tomorrow.” My voice was shaky, and I knew he heard it.
Just when I thought he was going to say something, he just smiled, without showing teeth, and got in his car. He waved before driving away, and I let out a frustrated breath.
I’m so messed up.
*****
The following day, I noticed that Logan looked a little distracted. For the whole journey to school, he was fidgeting in his seat and looked uncomfortable; just like had the day before. To be perfectly honest, I was beginning to get tired of his behavior towards me.
Throughout the day, he’d spoken to me, as usual, but I knew something was bothering him. It was getting to the point where I was getting paranoid that it was me that was causing his behavior. Like I had done something wrong. Wracking my brain, I knew that wasn’t the case. I’d been the same old me like I always was. My heart lurched when I thought that Matt might have said something to him.
Oh God, no! I thought to myself. If he had said something, and Logan was being distant because he didn’t want to give me the wrong impression…
No. I couldn’t think like that. If Matt had, indeed, said anything then surely Logan would’ve said something. But, then again…
“Chase the ace!” Poppy’s voice broke me out of my inner turmoil as she sat next to me in our class.
“Hi, Poppy. How are you?”
“I’m great, thank you.” She chirped. “We’re all set for the senior year squad. The girls are looking forward to the homecoming game. It’ll be their first!” She said, bouncing in her seat with excitement.
“That’s great, Poppy. I’m happy for you.” I said, and I genuinely was. No matter what Poppy had said to me, I knew she hadn’t meant it maliciously, and she was a nice girl. I would’ve even hung out with her if we had more in common.
“Thank you. I know you don’t like cheer, but it means a lot for you to say that.” She said, touching my arm. “Are you looking forward to Friday’s game?” She asked, changing the subject.
“Um, yeah. The guys are going to do really well. They’ve trained really hard.” I said. “It’ll only be a matter of time before they’re picked up professionally.”
I thought to the letter I had my Mom post for me that morning. I’d written to the Lions; Logan’s favorite team. I’d addressed it to his favorite player, Brent Loman, telling him how great of a player Logan is. I’d even included a pen drive with a video, showing Logan playing. I was hoping that he would reply, hoping even more that it would be in time for our birthdays in a few weeks. I think Logan would be excited to get a response from him.
“I can’t wait either. The guys look so hot in their tight pants.” Poppy giggled. “Even Carl. Ugh, I thought he was totally cute until I saw how he treats you.”
“Excuse me, what?” I asked, surprised at what Poppy said. I didn’t think she’d paid any attention to any of us.
“Yeah. I kinda had a crush on him, but when I saw him treating you like an outsider, calling you a ‘tagalong’ that put me off. He’s so mean to you.”
I just looked at Poppy, speechless at how she knew what Carl had said.
“I know we don’t hang out…” She continued “…but I would never do that to you. I would actually like it if you did, you know, hang out with me. It could be fun.”
“Don’t you hang out with Sian and the others?” I asked. I liked Poppy, but I wouldn’t be able to handle the other girls.
“I do, but it’s mainly for cheer. When you get to know them, they’re not all that bad, honest.”
I snorted a laugh. Sian had been a bitch to me at the diner, and I didn’t see her attitude changing any time soon.
“Seriously, Chase. I know we’re kinda different in our tastes and stuff, but the girls can actually be nice… most of the time.” She giggled.
“I like you, Poppy, but I don’t think I’ll get on with the others. Thanks, though.”
We got through our lesson and went our separate ways. I met up with Logan, and I saw, straight away, that he was still in a strange mood. I decided I would just ask him about it. I knew something was going on, and I wasn’t going to be quiet any longer.
“What’s going on with you?” I asked.
“Nothing, why?” He replied, a slight flush to his cheeks.
“Nothing. Sure.” I said sarcastically. “That’s bullshit! Logan, you’ve been acting really different these past few weeks and, to be honest, it’s getting annoying.”
“Excuse me?” He said, surprised at my outburst. I knew he wasn’t expecting that.
“Logan, I’m getting tired of your mood swings. I feel like I’m getting whiplash.”
“What are you talking about?” He asked, with a frown, as
if he didn’t know. I could tell he knew exactly what I was talking about.
“You’re really nice to me, like usual, sometimes a little more…” I saw the blush on Logan’s face, but I continued anyway. “… And then nothing. You ignore me, or go really quiet. Sometimes you don’t even make eye contact with me! What’s going on?”
I could see Logan was embarrassed with my statement, but I was too far gone to leave it at that point. He had to give me something.
“Nothing, Chase. If I did that, I’m sorry. I think I’m just thinking about the game tomorrow.”
“Yeah, you did do that. A lot. I have a feeling there’s more to it than that, Logan. This has been going on for weeks, not a few days.”
“There’s not. Look, I have to get going. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” He said, looking nervous.
I let out a frustrated breath and clenched my jaw.
“Fine, just go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Logan looked at me as if he wanted to say something, but he just stopped. Instead, he reached out his hand and touched my arm, dropping his eyes to the floor before walking out of the building.
No matter what he said, I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me.
I saw my Dad pull up, and I plastered a fake smile on my face as I got in.
“Ready for some pretzel practice?” My Dad asked with a laugh, and I laughed along with him.
He dropped me off at the gymnastics club, and I went inside to change.
I’d been performing various exercises and tumbles for about half an hour when I saw a load of new kids coming in. The coach, Veronica, or ‘Ronnie’ as people called her, had them all sit down on the large mat in the middle of the club.