by Apryl Baker
I have a text from an unknown number. I almost delete it like I do any text from people I don’t know, but I find myself curious. I’m not sure why, but I open it and nearly have a heart attack sitting there in the booth.
I’m giving a lecture at UNC in Charlotte tonight at 4pm.
I left you 2 passes at the door. Meet me after - Olivet
My mouth drops open in shock. Holy crap. He actually responded! My ghost expert responded. I never expected him to get in touch. Whoa. It was just an off the wall shot in the dark. This is my chance to get some answers. I text Dan to ask him if he can take me. Jake and Meg are out of the question. Neither of them knows my dirty little secret. Plus I’m not too sure if Jake and I are kosher right now. I can’t get that look of his out of my mind.
Jake slides into the seat opposite me. Not a good sign. Dan takes the spot beside me. Jake does look up at that and glares. Dan completely ignores him. He looks downright depressed.
“You should have forfeited,” I told him snidely.
He sighs and nods. It really was that bad. “Yeah, but you did a great job, Jake. Thanks, man.”
“Whatever.”
Dan finally looks up at him and frowns. He looks ready to say something when Jennifer comes over. Greg is behind her and looks ready to commit a serious act of bodily harm. My kind of guy.
At that moment, Dan digs his phone out of a pocket and scans his messages. He glances at me once, so I know he’s read my text. The next question is given how Jake is obviously feeling, do I want him to know I asked Dan to take me somewhere and not him? Not a chance.
“Jake, can we leave now? I’m tired and my ankle hurts.”
“They haven’t even started the solo challenges yet,” he says. “Can you wait just a little longer?”
“That’s okay, Jake,” Dan tells him. “I can take her home. I was gonna leave since I’m not signed up for any of the solo stuff and we stand zero chance of winning anyway.”
“But I’m not ready to go!” Jennifer complains. I can see Dan wince and I just barely stop myself from grinning. She really is not who I pictured him dating.
“Greg…”
“Hell, no!” Greg almost shouts.
“Then stay as long as you want, Jen. I’ll swing by later and pick you up.”
Her eyes narrow into slits and center on me. I can see the calculations there and can’t suppress a smile. That really sets her off. Dan rolls his eyes and slides out of the seat.
“You are actually going to leave me here and take some little kid home?”
Little kid? She so did not say that. Meg and Jake both wince. They know me.
“Yeah, he’s taking this little kid home.” I let the sarcasm drip. “At least I won’t whine like a spoiled brat, unlike you, you bleach-blonde brainless moron. Really, Officer Dan, I am sooooo disappointed in you. This is your girlfriend? Really? I thought you had better taste than this.”
Poor Dan looks a little uncomfortable, but honestly, even he has to know what an idiot she is. He obviously isn’t dating her for the stimulating conversation.
“Looks like,” he says at last and Jennifer’s expression turns murderous. He stands up so I can get out.
“Jake, call me when you make up your mind.” I push myself up and out of the booth. Jake nods and I realize that I’m right. He is rethinking our relationship. I feel tears try to well up. I don’t cry. I am not a person who cries. I take a hasty step forward and pain shoots up my leg from my ankle. White-hot pain. The little show with Tommy earlier had done more damage than I thought.
Dan catches me before I fall. “Can you walk, Mattie?”
“Yeah, it’s fine,” I wave him off and take a tentative step forward. He has to catch me again. Dang it. Before I can say anything, he swings me up in his arms and asks Greg to get the door. Jake is standing, looking like he wants to hit Dan, but I see Meg catch him and pull him back.
Once we are in Dan’s truck and headed for the interstate, I stare pointedly out the window, trying to ignore the tears that are streaming wet paths down my cheeks. I guess maybe I thought Jake really could look past everything, but deep down, he’s like every other guy I’ve ever known.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Dan asks quietly after a while.
I shake my head, refusing to look at him. I hate the fact that he’s seeing me like this.
“He’s a jerk,” Dan says. “I can still press charges if you want.”
“What?” I turn startled eyes on him.
“Tommy. If you’re this upset, Squirt, I’ll turn around right now and go arrest him.”
He thinks I’m upset over Tommy? I almost laugh out loud. If that was all it was. I may have just lost my boyfriend. Crap. Being me crushes the best things that ever happen in my life. At the rate I’m going, Mrs. O. might ship me off any day.
Get a hold of yourself, Mattie. This place, these people have gotten past my walls and this is not a good thing. I need to distance myself from everything. It’s these danged ghosts. I’m feeling more emotions because of them. I feel what they feel. When I used to ignore them, I didn’t leave myself open to all these emotions. I knew letting them in was a bad idea, but I did it for Sally. Where has it gotten me? Nowhere. I’m sitting here crying and feeling worthless and not an inch closer to finding her killer, not really.
“I could care less about Tommy,” I whisper and turn away from him. I don’t want him to see me crying. I need to stop these tears. This is not me. I am fearless and I will not let myself get hurt like this, not ever again.
“What’s wrong, Mattie?”
“You are such a guy,” I say at last. “I think Jake finally figured out that I’m exactly who everyone says I am, the reject foster kid with a chip on her shoulder. He put up with a lot from me, but when he saw me actually get in a fight, I think that was it. It was just too much for him.”
I hear Dan exhale slowly and then he pulls the truck over on the shoulder of the interstate. He turns off the radio before reaching over to unbuckle my seatbelt. He hauls me over and lets me cry all over his shirt.
“Mattie, you were defending yourself against a creep. If Jake doesn’t realize that, then he’s an idiot.” He hand is patting my back and I hiccup. “You are not a reject. You are wonderful, and special, and yes, you are a little weird, but it’s a good weird. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about the person you are. You are not worthless. You are you and I for one wouldn’t trade you for all the mundane girls in the world. I like you the way you are, a fighter, a hellion, and a person I care a great deal about.”
“You don’t understand, Dan.” I pull away from him and stare into his eyes, flashing with anger. “I’ve never met a guy before who looked past all the walls I put up and saw me, who liked me for me. Jake was that guy. He saw ME. I kept thinking to myself, this is too good to be true, eventually he’ll get sick of my crap like everyone else and leave. I think today was his day to leave.”
“Why? Because you hit a guy who got in your face and threatened you? Any girl would have…”
“No,” I stopped him. “They wouldn’t have. Most girls would have cowered or waited for their boyfriend to take care of it.”
“You’re not most girls, Mattie Louise.”
“I KNOW!” I yell. “That’s my point, Dan. I’m screwed up and it eventually costs me everyone who means anything to me. My first reaction is to hit before I get hit, to hurt them before I get hurt.”
I burst into tears again and I see the sadness in Dan’s eyes. I can’t take his pity and try to move away from him, but he won’t let me. “Shh,” he soothes and pulls me back into his arms. “It’s alright, Mattie. I’ll make you a promise, okay? I promise that no matter what you do, I will always be here for you, Squirt. I will never leave you and I will never let you drive me away, no matter how hard you try. You’re stuck with me kid.”
There is a wealth of emotion in his voice and I know if I look up, I’ll see his face full of determination. I know he means it. Offic
er Dan is the only person who has ever managed to make me feel like anything except the poor little foster girl. Jake is great and I know he likes me, but sometimes I think he only asked me out in the beginning because he felt sorry for me. I was the new girl, the foster kid who had no friends. That’s the kind of person he is. It’s why I knew he and I would never last. I just didn’t think it’d be over this soon.
Dan is different. I know he cares, that he means exactly what he says. I’ve never in my life connected with someone like I have with him. It scares me more than I can say, but I won’t give it up either. I need Dan in my life. He makes me feel safe.
“So,” he says when I pull myself together, “why are we heading to UNC?”
“Dr. Olivet.” I wipe my face with the napkin Dan pulled out of an old McDonald’s bag. It smells like fries, but I know my face is a mess. Dan’s truck is old so it doesn’t have mirrors in the visors and I’m grateful that I’d put on very little makeup today, only a bit of lipstick really.
“Who?” he asks, and pulls back onto the interstate.
“He’s a parapsychologist,” I tell him and try to finger-comb my hair. “I found him on the internet.”
Dan’s sigh is loud enough to make me wince. “Mattie, tell me you didn’t go trolling the internet looking for ghost hunters?”
“What?” I ask defensively. “I need a little help here, Dan. I may have been able to see ghosts my entire life, but I don’t know anything about them, not really. I certainly didn’t know one could hurt me. I have to be able to protect myself. This guy has a lot of press, he seems to know what he’s talking about.”
“All it means, Mattie, is he is good at BS and a Twitter fanatic. I bet he has thousands of followers on Twitter doesn’t he?”
I refuse to acknowledge this is true. He has over three million followers.
“Mattie, ghost hunters are just there to take advantage of people and fuel their nonsense beliefs. They find reasons to take a situation that has a perfectly rational explanation and make it into the haunting of the century. I can’t believe you of all people would fall for that. I gave you way more credit than that.”
“So you think that what I believe is nonsense? You don’t believe that I can see ghosts?”
He sighs. “Mattie, I firmly believe that you think you can see ghosts and yes, I’ve seen some pretty weird stuff around you, but to say I believe in ghosts? I’m still not there yet.”
“You think I’m crazy then? Then how did I know all that stuff about Mary? Huh? Think I imagined that?” I’m yelling, I know I’m yelling, but I can’t help it. Dan was the one person who I thought believed me. Now he’s saying he doesn’t.
“No, you are not crazy. If I thought that, I’d not be helping you try to find a killer no one else thinks exist. Yeah, you do know a lot of stuff you shouldn’t, stuff that wasn’t released to the general public, especially about Mary. That’s why I’m here. I will go as far as to say you might be a little psychic, but ghosts? I’m just not sure, Mattie. I told you I’d keep an open mind and I am. Just give me some time okay?”
I nod, but turn to stare out the window again. I can’t believe he doesn’t believe me. I thought for sure he did, that finally I’d found someone I could confess my secrets to and not have them scoff in my face. He’s not scoffing, but he doesn’t believe me, not really. He is rationalizing why I know so much. He’s a cop, I remind myself. Cops never believe you no matter what they say. They never trust you are telling the truth. Especially kids like me with not only a record, but a foster kid to boot. I should have expected this. I just didn’t see it coming. It hurt. More than even possibly losing Jake. I can’t cry though. Some things hurt too deep for even tears to touch and this is one of them. How had I let this happen? How did Officer Dan Richards come to mean more to me than anyone I’ve ever met? It makes no sense to me, but it is what it is.
The rest of the ride is silent. We then spent a lot of time looking for parking. After twenty minutes, we finally crawl out of the car. I end up alternating between hopping and limping. Dan tries to help me, but I push him off. I am not in the mood. Gotta put my walls back up. I am tired of getting hurt. I am not that girl. I won’t be that girl, not even for Dan Richards.
We stop at the first building we come to and Dan asks where we can find the lecture hall Dr. Olivet is in. Oh. He’s not in a lecture hall. He’s in the theater.
The theater? Really?
Dan rolls his eyes as if to say ‘I told you so’, but I ignore him. I know this is the right thing to do, that Dr. Olivet will have the answers I need. I just do.
Chapter Nineteen
The theater is housed in Robinson Hall, where the College of Performing Arts plays the bulk of their performances. There are two separate facilities, the black-box Lab Theater, small and intimate, and the main one, the Anne R. Belk Theater. Dr. Olivet’s lecture is in the main one, allowing for a seating of three hundred and forty. We arrive early and find seats fairly easily.
Dan complains about my choosing the middle. If we are in the back, we’ll miss things and if we are in the front, we’ll miss things because we’re too close. The middle is perfect. It puts you just above the heads of everyone below you and plus you get a full view of the stage. My reasoning doesn’t improve Dan’s mood though. I think he’s being grumpy because he thinks it’s a waste of time. Maybe it is, but I have to try.
It is a beautiful theater. The orchestra-like box seating around the stage gives off a very intimate feel, black seats gleaming amongst the white pillars holding up the theater boxes that go up three levels. It looks very old and elegant. It’s a place I would love to sit in and sketch. The orchestra pit was filling up with the orchestra as well. Now what was this? It’s not a concert. Were we attending a lecture or a show? The stage curtains are still tightly drawn, but I hear a lot of movement behind them.
After about twenty minutes, the place starts to really fill up. At first, I’d thought that there wouldn’t be that big of an audience. There were only about twenty or so people here when we arrived, but now, there’s hardly a seat to be found. That could be a good sign, right? I mean, why would so many people show up if he didn’t know what he was talking about?
“Richards?”
Dan and I glance up to see a guy heading our way. Dan has an empty seat beside him and he groans. I almost laugh at the martyred look on his face. I’m still mad at him, so I refuse to give in to the urge. The guy falls into the seat next to him. I don’t mean sits heavily, he literally falls into it with no thought to the poor seat. My kind of fella. His blonde hair and blue eyes are a stark contrast to Dan’s darker looks. He looks at me with very-curious eyes.
“Hey, Mason.” Dan greets him. “What are you doing here?”
“Bored. Nothing else to do, so I figured I’d come see the spook doctor’s performance.”
Then Dan snorts. I glare at him.
The guy leans forward so he can see around Dan. “I’m Mason Jones, by the way.”
“Mattie,” I smile at him. He’s really, really cute. I may be hung up on my maybe-still-boyfriend, but even I can appreciate a cute guy. How can a girl not? It’s not the looking part that counts anyway. It’s the touching. My theory is you can look at all the eye candy you want and still appreciate what you have at home. Though at the moment, I’m not sure I do have anything at home.
“She’s too young for you,” Dan growls.
Mason’s eyebrows fly up at Dan’s tone. So do mine.
“Ignore Officer Dan,” I say. “He’s being a jerk today.”
“That I can believe.” Mason laughs. The sound is rich and deep. “He can be a little uptight sometimes. I’m surprised he’s here at all, given his opinions on anything… supernatural.”
“Opinions?”
“Yeah, he’s a firm believer that there is a rational explanation for everything and anything with a supernatural element is just a fabrication.”
“Oh, really?” I ask, glancing up at Dan’s face. It’s a tigh
t mask. He is so trying not to say anything that might get him in even more trouble with me.
“Really.” Mason is openly laughing at Dan’s expression and it makes me a little angry that he is making fun of Dan’s beliefs.
“Well, he let me drag him here,” I tell Mason, suddenly feeling like I should defend Officer Dan. “He gets brownie points for that.”
“And just who are you, Jailbait?” Mason grins at me.
“She’s a friend of mine, Mason,” Dan tells him. “Leave off.”
I sigh and roll my eyes. Good Lord, he’s as bad as Jake. “I’m sixteen so he feels it necessary to make sure anyone over the age of seventeen doesn’t hit on me.”
Mason laughs outright. “Well, I guess he’s gonna have to deal. I plan on hitting on you all night, Jailbait.”
Dan growls, literally growls, but Mason only laughs harder. He is such a cutie. I feel guilty because I like him, given that Jake and I might or might not still be together, but I’m vain enough to enjoy the attention.
The lights go down about the time Dan opens his mouth to tell Mason what he thinks of that and I shush them both.
Whispered excitement runs through the crowd and then a hush falls over the audience as the curtains open. The orchestra begins to play, the melody dark and low. It reminds me of those times during the middle of the night when you wake up in the dark and shiver for no reason, like there’s someone watching you when you know there isn’t. The haunting music inspires that feeling in not just me, but in several other people nearby. Even Dan shifts a bit uncomfortably. We all have that inner fear of the dark, no matter how old we get. It’s an ingrained instinct to fear the velvety blackness of the night, of things you can’t quite see, but know deep down in your bones is there, waiting.
The stage is dark at first, then a light start to softly glow. A man sits before the fireplace. I would place his clothes around the turn of the twentieth century. He looks to be in his early thirties or so. His head is bent forward, reading whatever book. The soft glow of the light expands to see a woman sitting on a small couch, a settee. Her dress, a warm rich burgundy, sweeps the ground even though she is sitting. The light is focused more on her hands than her face, which is why I notice she’s knitting. The back and forth of the needles are almost hypnotic.