by Emerson Rose
“Ready?” he asks and at this point I’m not sure what he is referring to but I assume it’s something good, so I nod my head up and down. His mouth covers mine hard, desperate and full of pent up desire. I slide my feet up his legs and lock my ankles behind his waist pulling my body flush with his. I’ve lost the leverage I would normally have used with my arms but I’m in damn good shape for just having had a baby, and my legs are working just fine.
I arch my back pressing against him and he moans into my mouth.
“Please, Julián, please…”
He listens and as always gives me what I want, more than what I want in fact, he gives me everything. I grab ahold of the coffee table leg when he enters me the first time. He goes in deep and it stings at first but after a few thrusts things feel good like they did before Grayson was born. I can’t see him and part of me doesn’t like that, he’s beautiful and I used to love watching him work his cock in and out of me until he came.
The loss of sight helps me to appreciate other things more like the smell of his spicy cologne on his skin mixed with his almond lotion; the sound of his breathing and his heart accelerating; the taste of his salty skin.
All of those sensations combined with his cock thrusting deep leads me to the edge of ecstasy for the second time in thirty minutes. His mouth wanders from my lips to my shoulder and back until I feel his cock swell. We are almost there when he leans back and moves my legs over his shoulders. Now… oh my God, now he’s even deeper and hitting my hot spot repeatedly.
I cry out but I don’t even know what I say. I’m in a state of euphoria where nothing but the way he feels makes sense. His body stiffens and I let go of an orgasm I didn’t know I was holding back.
“Don’t stop, please, no…” I say, panting and writhing against him. We come together with an intensity I’ve never felt with anyone.
He slides my legs off of his shoulders and pulls the blindfold off of my eyes breathing hard. I blink several times while my eyes adjust to the light and when I can, I find him staring at me with a sort of awestruck, shell-shocked expression on his face.
“What?”
He shakes his head, “You… this,” he nods to my bound hands. “Us, the way we fit together like we were made for each other, it’s nuts. I was worried you might be put off by kink but nope, not my girl.”
“Could you?” I wiggle my arms. “My fingers are starting to tingle from the lack of circulation.”
“Yeah, yeah, let me grab the key.” He slides out of me leaving me naked, sweaty, and cuffed in the middle of our pretty living room while he searches for a key on his keychain. His keychain, why does he keep the key to handcuffs on his keychain? It’s a key, I guess, but it seems weird. How long has he been into this stuff? Why hasn’t he ever told me about it?
He crouches down and turns the tiny key in the lock between my wrists freeing my numbing hands. “Thank you, you keep that on your keychain, huh?” I say nodding toward his key ring.
“Yeah, it’s small, I don’t want to lose it and leave you stuck somewhere, ya know?”
I’m quiet and he looks at me harder trying to read between the lines.
“They’re new. The handcuffs. I used to have some but they got lost when I was relocated a few years back. If you’re wondering.”
“Why did you think I’d be put off by this?”
He sits down next to me bending one knee and leaning back against a chair. I sit up rubbing my hands together to bring the blood back to them.
“I don’t know, you were pregnant and fragile and I didn’t want to scare you off.”
I push his bent knee down and scoot in between his legs with my back against his front. “I guess I understand that. Fragile, though? Me?”
“Maybe that’s not the best word. Vulnerable?”
“Yes, I was hurting, I’ll give you that.”
“Speaking of hurting,” he slides his arms around my waist and one hand down to cup my mound. “You okay?”
“Yeah, better than okay. I told you I was ready two weeks ago.”
“So, maybe we should go again?”
The phone chirps with a text message as if on cue. I lean my head back on his shoulder and groan. I hate to have this intimate moment between us end but that’s part of being a parent I guess.
He reaches over to the table glancing at the screen. “It’s grandpa, he says Grayson is getting a little fussy, wonders if we have gas drops. I can’t believe he knows about gas drops.”
“He has some but I’ve never given them to him. He probably just misses us, can we go get him?”
He kisses the top of my head and squeezes me tight. “Yeah, I miss the little attention hogging guy, too. Let’s go.”
“You’re not mad?”
He scoots me forward and leans around hooking my chin with the tip of his finger so we are face to face.
“You just blew my fucking mind with the best sex of my life and you think I’m mad?”
“I just thought you might have other things planned and I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Oh, baby girl, I have so many things planned to do with you. And I can’t imagine you ever disappointing me, ever.” He lifts one lip up in a smirk and for a second I consider letting Grandpa Max try the gas drops on Grayson.
He leans forward and kisses me on the forehead, “But we have forever for all that. Let’s go get our son.”
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you. I didn’t think sex could get better with you but doing it without the bump between us was definitely better.”
I chuckle at that. It was better, I agree, but now it’s time to go back to reality, back to feeding every three hours, changing diapers, and worrying about what Caleb is up to. Our little hiatus was perfect and I’m glad we did it but now it’s back to life.
Chapter 18
Garcia
Caleb Johnson’s background is unremarkable except for one thing. He lives far beyond his means. Marines aren’t in it for the paycheck we’re here for the honor of defending our country and the sense of belonging.
Caleb’s house is in an area where entrepreneurs and high-powered lawyers live. There’s no way he can afford it on a Marine’s salary unless he comes from money and from what Kimber has told me he doesn’t.
I thought maybe his girlfriend had something to do with it until my detective found out she’s nothing short of a whore. Caleb sent her packing over a month ago, two weeks after Grayson was born.
I don’t know what that means but ever since I learned that piece of information I feel like a rock is sitting in my stomach. I had the overwhelming urge to call Kimber and see if she was still at our house. What if this guy is trying to get his family back? They haven’t been divorced that long, they have history and a biological child together.
He divorced her because he didn’t want a child and now that he’s decided he does. Does he think he can just walk back into her life and take her back? If so, he is seriously underestimating my love for Kimber and Grayson.
I’m eating lunch at my desk today while I go over the file detective Brown put together last week. Other than spending too much money and partying a lot for a man his age, he’s pretty average.
I flip the folder shut and call Kimber. It rings through to her voicemail and I hang up and try again. I’m about to hang up and call Drake when she answers out of breath.
“Hey, sorry I left my phone downstairs when I went to change Grayson’s diaper.”
I feel like scolding her but that’s not like me, never has been. I’m not about to start acting like a psycho overprotective fiancé. I don’t want her to think I don’t trust her when it’s Caleb I don’t trust.
And then there are my stupid brothers. Who knows what they are up to? I should have Brown find out if they’ve gone back home or if they’re hanging out somewhere nearby.
“It’s okay, how are you? How’s Grayson?”
“Good, we went for a run this morning and he just had a major blowout all
up his back. I had to give him an impromptu bath, but other than that things are fine.”
“Gross, I’m glad I’m here.”
She laughs and the stone in my stomach feels a little lighter. Her laugh lights up my world. I can’t live without it. I won’t.
“How about I bring home some steaks and grill tonight to give you a break from cooking?”
“I would love that, I have so much work to do on the plans for Tiana’s house and that’ll free up a couple hours for me this afternoon. As long as this little man sleeps.” I hear Grayson grunting and gurgling in her arms as she talks to him.
“Wait, did you say you went for a run?”
“Yeah, it was great. I bought this awesome jogging stroller, it didn’t even feel like I was pushing it and I think he liked being outdoors.”
“You didn’t run into anyone, did you?”
She’s quiet for a moment. “Like Caleb? No, I didn’t see him anywhere. I’m not sure what he drives but there were no cars parked on or near our street after everyone left for work. I was careful.”
“Maybe you can recruit Tiana or Belle to run with you, so you’re not alone, ya know?”
“That’s not a bad idea. I don’t think Belle could run around the block, though, she’s so small and frail. Tiana seems like she’s athletic, though, I’ll ask her. How’s your day going?”
“It’s alright. It would be better if I were home with you. I can’t stop thinking about you handcuffed to the coffee table last night. We need to schedule a date night at least once a week.”
“Shush, don’t let anyone hear you say that.”
“What? That I want to take my fiancé on a date?”
She lowers her voice, “No, you goof, the part about the coffee table.”
“Oh, you mean the handcuffs?” I say raising my voice. I’m in my office with the door closed and no one can hear me but she doesn’t know that.
“Garcia!” she hisses into the phone. She only calls me Garcia when she’s pissed or embarrassed but I think it’s hot every time she does.”
“You know I love it when you call me by my last name, baby.”
She’s rolling her eyes. I can feel it. “Stop, I won’t be able to look any of those guys in the eyes again.”
“I’m alone in my office, baby, don’t worry. What we do in bed, or on the living room floor, is our business nobody else’s”
“Thank you.” Grayson starts to fuss and cry. I hear her trying to juggle the baby and the phone around while she consoles him.
“I’ll let you go, be home around five or five thirty. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I almost hang up but I hesitate and blurt out, “Kimber?”
She has to bring the phone back to her hear, “Yeah?”
“Lock the doors, okay?”
She pauses for a moment. “Julián, is there something you’re not telling me?”
“No, baby, I would just feel better if you kept the doors locked when I’m at work. When you fall asleep with the baby you’re exhausted. I don’t think you would hear anyone if they came in.”
“Alright,” she says slowly with a hint of suspicion in her voice.
“Thank you, see you in a few hours.”
“See ya, bye.”
Her name disappears from my phone’s screen and that fucking rock in my stomach is back but now it feels like a boulder. I sweep my lunch into the trashcan next to my desk, my appetite suddenly gone.
I fell like I’m being pulled into two directions. I’m needed here to protect and serve my country but I’m also needed at home to keep my fiancé and baby safe.
We need to get this thing with Caleb settled soon. No time like the present. I pick up the phone and ask to have Gunnery Sergeant Johnson sent to my office. It’s time to tie up some loose ends.
Chapter 19
Kimber
After I double check the locks on the doors, I sit down in the living room and think about my conversation with Julián while I feed Grayson.
Why is he having me lock the doors? I know there’s a good possibility that Caleb will show up on our doorstep again, he’s stubborn has hell. But what does he think is going to happen? Caleb was never physically abusive toward me. He was cruel with his words. That’s his game, or at least it was the last few months of our marriage.
I can’t live in fear, stuck in this house with the doors locked forever. I have a life to lead, a child to raise, a job to do. In fact, I need to go to the grocery store this afternoon and get something to go with our steaks.
He never said don’t leave the house, I guess. Just to lock the doors when I’m home and that makes sense. I do sleep hard, he’s right.
When Grayson is done nursing we head out to the grocery store. It’s not that far, I could walk and push him in the stroller but it’s too hot this afternoon so we drive.
I’m still getting used to small-town living. The shops are tiny and everyone knows everyone’s business. I haven’t made a lot of friends but as soon as I enter the grocery store I know that’s about to change.
People are drawn to a baby like kids to candy. All of the old ladies who hang out in the town square to gossip are cooing and smiling at Grayson. I’m happy to show him off, of course, but I need to get my groceries. After almost twenty minutes I’m starting to think I’ll never get out of here when I hear a familiar voice behind me.
“Ladies, ladies, let’s let the pretty mama and her handsome son get her groceries.”
It’s Caleb, and he has his hand on the small of my back guiding me away from the group of mother hens. When we are out of earshot near the produce department, I start firing questions.
“Caleb, what are you doing? Why are you here? Oh my God, you’re following me, aren’t you?”
He smiles the smile that made me fall for him almost five years ago.
“I’m just grocery shopping, Kimmie, that’s all. I saw you struggling to get away from those women and I thought I would help you out.” Just then he catches sight of his son for the first time in his car seat and I’m shocked when his expression softens and he bends down to have a closer look.
“Hey, sweet boy, I’m your daddy. I’m glad to finally get to meet you,” he says in a way that makes me feel like I’ve been keeping him from Caleb instead of the other way around. I don’t like it.
He touches Grayson’s cheek with the tip of his finger. He’s falling asleep. The old ladies of Jewel Falls wore him out.
“He’s beautiful, Kimmie, he looks just like you. My God, I had no idea…”
“No idea what?” I peer into the car seat to see whatever it is he’s seeing but its just Grayson, just my baby.
“I had no idea I would feel this way. He’s my son, my blood. I think I love him already, does that happen? Do parents have a natural love for their children?” He straightens up and looks into my eyes. I try to read what’s going on in his mind but I see nothing there but tenderness and… could it be? Love?
“Maybe, I know I fell in love with him the second I saw him.” I have to pull my eyes from his and breathe. This isn’t happening, he isn’t honestly interested.
I hadn’t realized that I was hoping he would fade away and never see Grayson. I feel a little jealous, too, or bitter, I’m not sure. How does he get to dip out when his son is a kidney bean and show up when he’s six weeks old claiming to suddenly love him?
I’m the one who carried him in my belly for forty weeks. I’m the one who fed him nutritious food and exercised to keep healthy, gained weight, and pushed him out of my bod into the world. I’m the one changing his diapers and feeding him around the clock, but he loves him?
I call bullshit in my mind but I keep that opinion to myself. I just want to get my groceries and go home.
He gazes down at Grayson who has lost interest in the world around him and gone to sleep. “I think that’s what just happened to me, too. Kimmie, when do you think I can see him again? I’d like to hold him, bond a little, maybe.”
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My mind races for an answer. I’m far from being convinced that he is being honest but he is his father. He’s watching me now, waiting to see how I react.
“How about I meet you at the diner for lunch tomorrow? It’s a public place, neutral territory, we can talk and I could hold him.”
The diner, why does he know about the diner? Why is he shopping in the tiny town square of Jewel Falls when he doesn’t live here? Oh my God, I hope he doesn’t live here.
“Caleb, why are you grocery shopping in Jewel Falls?”
“My Aunt Tracy was put in a nursing home nearby. I was visiting and she asked me to get a few things for her.”
Inwardly I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I’m having enough trouble accepting his about-face, I don’t want to be neighbors, too, and in Jewel Falls everyone is a neighbor, no matter how far apart you live.
“You have an Aunt Tracy? I don’t remember her.”
“She was my father’s youngest sister. She was in a car accident recently and has to have constant care for a while. Jewel Falls has one of the best so that’s where we moved her.”
“We? Who’s we?” His parents are dead and he was never close to his extended family so I’m curious as to who we might be. He shifts his weight from one foot to another and slides his hands into the pockets of his uniform pants. Not a good sign, he fidgets when he lies, that I remember.
“Well, not we anymore, I guess. Crystal and I broke up, she moved back home to Chicago.
“Oh,” is all I say because now I’m wondering if he is having a change of heart because his girlfriend left him and he doesn’t like being alone.
“So tomorrow, the diner around twelve thirty? Or would later work better for you?”
“One, one o’clock is fine.” I don’t know why I just agreed to that. I told Julián that I didn’t want to meet with him alone but suddenly it feels like a moment that should be between Caleb and me.
His face lights up like I’ve never seen before and there is a twinkle in his ocean blue eyes. “Perfect, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He leans toward me as if he were going to kiss my cheek like he has done a million times in the past but thinks better of it and pats my arm instead. I’m glad, I don’t want him in my bubble and I also don’t want the gossip hens of Jewel Falls spreading rumors that I’m having an affair.