by Emerson Rose
Julián and I based our relationship on honesty, we talked about truth and its importance at length when we first started dating. I never wanted to get involved with someone who wasn’t being completely honest with me… again.
I thought I’d found the perfect man. Mom always said if it seems too good to be true it probably is. It breaks my heart to admit she was right. There is no such thing as perfect but Julián was close.
My phone beeps for the twentieth time in the past forty minutes. I look at the screen through tear-filled swollen eyes. All of the calls and messages are from Tiana except for the last one. It’s from Julián.
He must know I’m gone now. It’s barley been long enough for him to turn around and come home from the base. He must have been driving way over the speed limit and he’s not a speeder.
He’s not a rule breaker in general, he doesn’t do quick stop and go’s through stop signs. He makes a full stop and looks both ways before driving through. If someone gives him the wrong change he always corrects the person, whether it’s to his benefit or not. He never texts while driving, he tips more than he needs to, the list goes on and on.
But he kept his dangerous family a secret from me and endangered my life and my baby’s life and that is something I cannot wrap my mind around.
Manuel Jesus Garcia is a household name, he’s not some street thug. He’s one of the biggest criminals of our time. Julián must have known I wouldn’t want to be involved with someone who could bring that kind of evil into my life. That has to be why he refused to talk about them.
Different morals, I snort. What an understatement. Julián went north when his family went south. It’s hard to believe he chose such an honorable career that is so different from his family’s business. I wonder how that happened.
I caress Grayson’s chubby pink cheek with the back of my knuckle and think about his future. I want the best for him. If I stay with Julián, I’ll always worry about retaliation and revenge for situations I have nothing to do with.
What if his uncles try to corrupt him when he grows up to stick it to Julián for turning his back on his family? What if someone kidnaped Grayson and held him ransom to get money from the Garcia family? The list of possible scenarios goes on forever.
Even if I could forgive him for not telling me who he is, I don’t see a way for us to have a safe future together as a family.
I’m exhausted from the stress of this morning. It’s still cool enough outside to crack the windows and lock the doors while I close my eyes for a few minutes and nap. Grayson will wake me up when he’s hungry and knowing the way he eats, that won’t be long.
I use one of the many baby blankets in a bag by my feet as a pillow. I turn my body to face Grayson and stuff it under my head closing my eyes. I want to escape with sleep and forget for a few minutes how my life has been unexpectedly derailed this week.
I want to have a dream that none of this is true. Caleb doesn’t want shared custody, Julián isn’t the son of a drug lord, and I’m not sleeping in my car in a park with my seven-week-old infant son.
The shitty thing about having a good dream is that you always wake up to reality.
Chapter 26
Garcia
There’s no sign of her car at Caleb’s place. Tiana’s mouth has been hanging open the entire time we’ve been driving through his neighborhood.
“How the hell does a Marine afford a house like that? It’s a damn mansion for Christ’s sake.”
“That’s a good question. I had him investigated. He spends a lot of money that he doesn’t earn. I’ve been thinking maybe he gambles or something. It’s the only thing that makes any sense.”
“Yeah, maybe, or maybe he’s into the same stuff your family is into.”
I frown and my pulse speeds up at the thought of little Grayson spending half of his life growing up in a household like the one I grew up in.
No. That cannot happen, it will not happen. If he’s a fucking drug dealer, I’ll expose him and have him sent to prison before I let him ruin my son’s life.
“I better not find out that he’s into that shit while he’s trying to get custody of Grayson. I’ll destroy him and everything he loves and values.”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to upset you more than you already are. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be dealing with all of this.”
“Yeah, well it’s no fucking picnic that’s for sure. What time is it?”
“Almost nine o’clock.”
“Four hours.”
“Four hours until what?”
“Four hours until I meet Caleb for lunch at the diner.”
Her eyebrows shoot up and she shakes her head, “What?”
“He asked Kimber to meet him for lunch today so he could “bond” with his son. They bumped into each other yesterday at the grocery store and he “fell in love” with Grayson at first sight.”
“Blech, how nauseating. I hate him and I’ve never even seen the guy.”
“You’re not missing anything.”
Her phone rings and she answers. “Hey, yeah, no we haven’t found her. Sure, okay, we’ll be back when we’ve exhausted all of our resources. Bye, I love you, too.”
Hearing her chat with Drake so casually causes a sharp pain in my chest. I’ve only been away from Kimber and Grayson for a few hours but I miss them, I always do when we are apart.
Today isn’t like every other day, it’s different. I’m not going to go home tonight and find them cuddling on the couch in the living room. They may never come home again and it’s all because I was a coward. I should have told her and now it might be too late.
“Drake says he called your grandpa and his team is looking for her. They will find her, don’t worry.” She reaches out and touches me on my arm. I glance at her hand and then at her, “Thanks, but finding her is only the first step. It’s the making her understand why I didn’t tell her that’s going to be hard. And then trying to convince her to come home.”
She withdraws her hand. “About that.”
“What?”
“How will you convince her she’s going to be safe? I mean, I don’t want to bring you down or anything, but isn’t being associated with you dangerous for her and Grayson?”
“I’m not a criminal. I’ve rejected my family’s lifestyle since I figured out why we were different.”
“It’s not you she’s afraid of, it’s your connection to an infamous Garcia drug lord and the kind of people they associate with.”
I pull in a deep breath and blow it out. She’s right, I know the reason she won’t come back to me. Even if she forgives me for lying, she would never put her son in that kind of danger.
“I know, and to answer your question, I have no idea how to convince her of that. I’m so far removed from them that I don’t even consider them a danger but I guess I should.”
“Let’s just focus on finding her for now. We’ll come up with a solution to the safety problem later.”
“You say that like there is a solution to be found.”
“There is and we’ll find it. When two people love one another like you and Kimber there’s always a way.”
“I hope you’re right.” Living without Kimber and Grayson wouldn’t be living at all.
I drop Tiana off and keep combing the streets of Jewel Falls and its surrounding areas. When it’s almost one o’clock I make my way to the diner for my surprise lunch with Caleb. Or, at least, I hope so. If she’s contacted him he would have no reason to show up.
I park on the side of the building instead of out front on the street where people can look out the floor to ceiling windows of the diner. I don’t want Caleb to know I’m there alone before I have a chance to speak to him and ask some questions.
I open the door and scan the small dining room. He’s in the back on the left in a booth with his back to the door. That’s strange. Most people waiting for someone would sit facing the door so they could spot them right away.
I slide into
the booth opposite him and cross my hands on the top of the table. He doesn’t look surprised to see me but then again he did invite me as an afterthought to get Kimber to come.
“Captain Garcia,” he says and looks around for Kimber and Grayson. “Where’s Kimber and the baby?”
“You mean Grayson? They aren’t coming. I believe she told you she wanted to handle this through the lawyers.”
“Well, now that’s where I think you’re wrong. She was perfectly willing to meet me today alone without you when we saw each other in the grocery store yesterday. She only changed her mind after she went home and you told her she couldn’t. She’s obedient like that.”
Obedient? What the hell does he mean by that?
“Actually she never brought it up. I saw your text message on her phone, she shut you down all by herself.”
He nods his head slowly in an approving way and leans back against the worn pleather booth.
“Checking her phone messages, huh? You worried about something, Garcia?”
“Nope, just happened to see it. We don’t hide things from each other.”
“That’s good, really good, it makes me happy to know my son is being raised by such upstanding honest people.”
I don’t like his tone. I can’t decide if I’m reading more into his words than I should or if he’s knows what’s going on with Kimber and me and that was a dig about my family.
“Wish I could say the same about you.”
He sits up in the booth paying closer attention to me. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean how does a low ranking Marine afford to live in a million-dollar house on the edge of a golf course? You hiding something, Gunnery Sergeant?”
“You’ve been doing your research, I see.”
“I’m very protective of my son and I wanted to set my wife’s mind at ease about allowing our son into your life.”
He holds up his hand, “Whoa there, Captain, don’t you mean fiancé? And who are you to judge me? So I have a nice house, that’s not a crime. I’m good with money, you should be happy. My son will always have the best of everything money can buy.”
“Kids need love and attention and encouragement, not money.”
“I’ll give him the rest of that shit, too. I’ll be an awesome dad, don’t worry. So you never said, where’s Kimmie and Johnson Jr?”
This guy is unbelievable. Does he even remember his kid’s name? Does he even know his middle name?
“Home,” I lie.
“That’s too bad, I really wanted to bounce the little guy on my knee for a while and get to know him.”
“He’s only seven weeks old, he doesn’t do too much knee bouncing.”
“Yeah? What does he do? School me on being a daddy, will you Garcia?”
I want to punch him in his fucking smartass mouth and knock a couple of his perfect straight white teeth out of his head. I decide to play along instead. As long as I have him detained here he’s not figuring out what’s really going on with Kimber and me.
“It’s pretty straight forward at this point, he eats every two to three hours and sleeps in between. He poops and pees. We change his diaper and snuggle him a lot, that’s about it. Not too much excitement but very satisfying.”
“Sounds easy.”
“Parenting is far from easy, Caleb.”
“I guess I’ll find out, won’t I?”
“Eventually, yes, if you’re still interested.”
“Oh, I’ll be interested, don’t worry.”
“Why is that anyway?”
“I told you before, I was shocked and it took me a while to warm up to the idea.”
“Parenting is full of shocks and you won’t get time to warm up to them.”
“How do you know so much about it, big papa?”
I’m going off on this guy if he calls me by another nickname.
“It’s Julián and I come from a big family.”
“Yeah? I’m an only child but I’m a quick learner. Where are you from again, Julián?”
“We aren’t here to talk about me.”
“Sure, sure, that’s right, well if Kimmie and the baby aren’t here, why are we again?”
I roll my eyes and sigh. I hate how he calls Kimber Kimmie and he never calls Grayson by his name either. He’s always little guy, or little man, or the baby. “I came to tell you she wasn’t coming.”
“You didn’t have to do that, I told her I’d be here eating lunch either way.”
“Why are you hanging out in Jewel Falls? You live forty-five minutes away. And what were you doing grocery shopping in our tiny store?”
“Kimmie didn’t tell you? You guys must not talk much. My aunt is in a nursing home nearby recovering from a car accident. I was picking up some things for her, not that it’s any of your business.”
“You snooping around my fiancé is my business. You abandoned her when she found out she was pregnant, remember?”
He lets out a long low whistle, “Wow, getting a little territorial are we? You’re right, I didn’t want her and look at you eating my leftovers.”
I reach across the table and grab him by the throat and pull him up until we are nose to nose and he isn’t able to breathe. This motherfucker isn’t going to talk to me like that. I’m twice his muscle mass and several inches taller. He’s clawing at my forearm and gasping for breath. Everybody in the diner is probably looking at us but I don’t fucking care.
“You better show some fucking respect, Gunnery Sergeant Johnson. I can make your life a living hell with the nod of my head.” I lower my voice so only he can hear me, “And don’t you ever refer to Kimber as leftovers again or I’ll snap your neck, you got it?”
His face is bright red and his struggling has spread. He’s not just clawing at my arm, he’s kicking and thrashing like a man being electrocuted. I wish he were being electrocuted, that would solve a lot of problems.
My thoughts remind me of something my brothers would say. I don’t want to be like them, I don’t want to manhandle people and threaten their lives like a thug. I’m a United States Marine, I protect and serve, I don’t bully and murder. Unless I’m in a war and this is a war, of sorts, but I will not let this punk get to me.
I drop him in the booth and he gasps and sputters for breath clutching his neck much like my brother did last week in my driveway. When I leave fifteen or sixteen sets of eyes follow me out. They watch me open the door and slam it shut ringing the little silver bells that dangle from it so hard I’m sure I broke them. I’ll send them a check to fix it.
I climb into a roasting hot car and blast the air conditioning. I rest my forehead against the top of the steering wheel and take several deep breaths of hot humid air. What is wrong with me? I’m the fun-loving nice guy. I don’t strangle people on the regular and think homicidal thoughts.
I need to talk to Kimber. I try to call her again as I pull away heading to our house. It goes to voicemail again. I dial again, and again, and again.
I’m going to fucking dial this phone until she answers me. I’ll do it a million times if I have to.
Chapter 27
Kimber
Warm drool is running out of the corner of my mouth onto the blanket I’ve been using as a pillow. I open my eyes and see a perfect angel staring back at me. Grayson is awake and for once he isn’t screaming for me to feed him. If I hadn’t woken up this exact way, I might have cried when I remembered where we are and why.
I look at the clock on the dash in the front seat. It’s almost noon and it’s hot inside the car. I feel Grayson’s face, he’s sweaty but not lethargic, thank God. I unbuckle his five-point belts and take him into the front seat with me to turn on the air conditioning and feed him.
I can’t believe I slept for so long. What’s more amazing is that Grayson didn’t wake me up an hour ago.
I slide the seat all the way back and sigh when the cool air finally starts to blow through the vents. I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing. I can’t s
it around napping and feeding my infant in the park all day.
I’m going to have to suck it up and go to my mom for help. There’s nowhere else to go.
When Grayson is finished and I’ve changed his diaper on the backseat, I strap him in and start out toward my mom’s house. I tell my Bluetooth to call India and wait for her to answer. It hardly rings once.
“Kimber, honey, are you alright? Is Grayson okay? Dammit, I’ve been trying to call you for hours, are you trying to give me a coronary? Julián called earlier and said you two had a disagreement but I could tell from his voice that it was more than that. What’s going on?”
My mom always did have a flair for the dramatic.
“I’m fine, Mom, Grayson’s fine, too, but I need a favor.”
“What is it? I mean of course, anything, but you need to be more specific.” She’s really flustered and I feel guilty. I should have called her earlier.
“Can we stay with you for a little while?” I ask in a quiet voice. I hate this. Failing wasn’t something I was used to dealing with until my divorce from Caleb.
“Oh Lord, what did he do? He knows what I’ll do to him if he cheated on you, I told him.”
“Mother, no, he isn’t cheating. And what did you tell him you’d do to him?”
“Cut his balls off. Or I alluded to it, rather. He cut me off when I said I had a big sharp knife. He knew what I meant.”
“Oh my God. He probably thinks you’re psycho, Mom. It’s nothing like that anyway.”
“Well, what is it then? Oh never mind, come here and we can talk about it. You know you’re always welcome here, for as long as you need.”
“Thank you, Mom. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, honey.”
“And thank you for not rubbing it in about my bad choice in men.”
“Why would I do that? Julián is a good man no matter what he’s done, unless it’s cheating, then he’s a pig.” I smile and almost laugh for the first time today. “And that Caleb, I always got a bad feeling from him. But I knew you loved him so I played nice.”