by Cal, Sarah
“I’m pretty sure that kid hasn’t seen other people in a while, and probably because he just didn’t want to. I feel sorry for him, knowing his parents are both dead... and he probably got to see it.”
Chase gave her a knowing look. “You mean like you?”
She scoffed. “More like Merry. I told you before, didn’t I? I don’t remember what happened. I was just told when I woke up at the hospital that they were gone.”
She didn’t even get the full story when it happened, and though it grated now, she had been nothing but relieved then.
Her family had been out on a trip when her parents died in an accident. As far as Emma knew, both she and her sister had been there when it happened. Only, Emma didn’t remember anything before waking up in the hospital, and she’d done her best not to think about it as a means of dealing with her grief. A poor one, but one that worked for her at the time.
Merry hadn’t been so lucky. She’d had a bad feeling before the trip and tried to get their parents to reconsider, only they didn’t. It was the birth of her current condition, because whatever she saw stuck with her. Emma hadn’t known until recently that she had one recurring dream, sometimes a little different but with the same theme; watching their parents die over and over in front of her.
She’d deluded herself into thinking she knew the future because she’d had a feeling something bad would happen, and days later their parents ended up dead. Merry hadn’t coped, and her mental health deteriorated. She even isolated herself and refused to leave the house, for a decade.
The only time she came out, willingly and on her own, was after the EMP. Though Emma hadn’t been ok with the reasons, since she’d been gathering crowds and tried to turn them into her ways of thinking, even created herself a following.
The boy likely wouldn’t end up exactly like her sister, the circumstances were too different, and Merry had been nineteen at the time, not a child. But it would probably leave the kid traumatized, and she couldn’t see how he could grow up as he was. If he even managed to live so long on his own. He could take from the farm as much as he wanted while keeping away, Emma knew Harry wouldn’t mind, but if he ran across some unsavory people out there...
She shuddered just thinking about it, and felt fear for the boy.
“I really just...” she said, running out of words to express what she really wanted in her frustration. She let out a gust of air and slumped back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “I want to run out there, so badly, and find this kid.”
“You can't be so rash,” Chase chided. “This sort of thing takes time. I can't say I’ve ever met a kid in his exact situation before, but if he’s as bad as you say, you definitely made the right call not to go after him. Being aggressive isn’t going to help you.”
Emma eyed him curiously. Chase would be the person to know more about kids than she did. She knew he didn’t have kids, though he’d thought of it, if he hadn't been lying when he told her that.
Come to think of it, there was a lot of Chase’s past Emma didn’t actually know. She called herself his best friend, but Emma was actually a pretty self-centered person. She’d only come to the realization recently, and she wondered how this had escaped her even then. It didn’t help that she was always feeling sorry for herself and Chase was always trying to cheer her up.
For a moment, she felt the need to apologize, before brushing it off. Chase would never take it even if she did apologize. In his mind, she hadn't done something wrong, and yet, the guilt wouldn’t fade.
But by the way he spoke, Emma could tell there was more to the story. He said the boy’s ‘exact situation,’ so did that mean that he’d come across something similar before?
“You sound like you have some experience,” she finally said, suspicious.
Chase just laughed and pushed her plate of food closer to her, silently nudging her to eat.
“What’s that look for? You know I’m good around kids, it’s why I chose to become a teacher.”
“Yeah,” she muttered as sat upright and reached for her spoon. “But we both taught high school.”
“Well, I did plenty more besides that. Stuff I did in the weekend, during school breaks, that involved kids. And, usually, sports, but not always.”
Emma knew some of that. While she went home after school was over, Chase would sometimes go to the town community center and coach a little league baseball team, sometimes basketball. She tilted her head to the side, wondering what this had to do with anything. Chase saw her curiosity and smiled.
“That piece of advice would work on most people, though, so don’t think too much about it.”
She chewed slowly on the food in her, looking down as she continued moving food around her plate. She’d though talking to Chase would make her feel better, but she felt worse than she did before. Her stomach squeezed her a little, and she added on the guilt of not finishing the food on her plate, when it should be considered a blessing that she had any in front of her at all.
“I just realized this, but... I don’t really know a lot about you, do I?” she glanced up at him form under her lashes, but he was frowning at her.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, confused.
She sighed and put the spoon down, pushing the food forward as she folded her arms on the table and braced her chin on her arms.
“I mean, Chase, that we’re usually talking about me and my problems. I know you like sports because we watched it plenty when I showed up at your apartment sometimes. I know you like camping because you’ve told me about the camping trips you’d take with the kids at school sometimes as the supervisor. The little I know about your family, barely scraps, are things you mentioned at random and I just happened to remember.”
He was still frowning. “So?”
Emma frowned back at him. “So, I don’t know what your childhood was like, if you wanted to do something other than teaching. I know a few of your likes and dislikes from observation, but not a lot.”
He suddenly looked amused. “You’ve been observing me?” he said teasingly, wagging his eyebrows.
Emma just snorted and rolled her eyes, then went on. “You know about all of my relationships, yet I knew nothing about yours. I don’t know if you ever even dated, because I definitely haven’t seen it for as long as I’ve known you. Also, we’re two years apart in age, yet you and I got a job at the school almost at the same time, yet I don’t know what happened with you in those two extra years.”
She had come to depend on him, once she started counting him as a friend. Chase had made it so easy. He asked about it when he saw she was troubled, and he was just so warm and bright all the time that she’d started unloading on him at some point, she couldn’t even remember when. He always seemed happy, so there had never been need for reciprocation.
The more she remembered, the worse she felt, until she wanted to curse herself for her oversight. She could have missed something, some chance to repay everything he did for her, and all because she was so lost in her own misery.
Emma should be ashamed of herself. And like he realized the self-deprecating direction her thoughts were taking, he spoke.
“Emma, it’s completely fine,” he said, smiling.
Emma scowled and wanted to shout at him. Of course it wasn’t fine. But he was still smiling at her, looking completely unconcerned.
“How could it be okay, Chase?” she muttered. “I was a terrible friend.”
It was his turn to roll his eyes. “You worry about the oddest things at the oddest times.” Then he turned to her with a serious expression. “Emma, none of that matters now. We have the rest of our lives. And if what you want is stories of the parts of my life you weren’t a part of, then I can tell you, but they won’t matter. Because I plan to stay with you from now on, and we can make so many memories. Hopefully, better ones. Those are the memories that matter.”
Her face warmed as she listened to him talk. It still hit her sometimes, when he said
something like that out of the blue—not that he did all that often—that Chase, her best friend, was actually in love with her and probably had been for years. Or, because that felt conceited again, some months before the EMP attack. How could she ever have missed it?
And hearing him talk about memories had her mind jumping to the boy again, wistfully thinking that it would be nice if he could be a part of them. Then she scowled at herself and sat up.
“There’s still the issue of the boy,” she said.
She couldn’t believe she’d actually put thoughts of him aside for selfish reasons. But she wasn’t going to beat herself up over that. She was now more motivated than ever to go and find this boy and give him a home. Not just because he deserved it, but she wanted it for him. Someone so young shouldn’t be in the situation he found himself in alone, and he wouldn’t be for long is she could help it.
“Well,” Chase finally said, startling her and pulling her out of her thoughts. “The answer to that one is clear. We can’t let him stay out there on his own, can we?”
She scowled at him. “Of course not! I don’t know if he’ll be coming out in the day, but Harry promised me he’d tell the patrollers heading out in his direction to keep a look out for him. If they don’t find him, I intend to be back out there.
Emma chewed on her lip, wondering if maybe, because the child already knew her, he would feel safer seeing her, and wouldn’t appear with the others there even if he was there in the day. Which was ridiculous, it had been dark and he probably hadn’t gotten a good look on her, like she hadn’t seen him that well.
“He’s going to need someone to guide him,” Chase said. “A guardian.”
Emma nodded absently. That was a given. They couldn’t replace the boy’s parents, but if he didn’t mind someone filling in the role...
Then Chase smiled and said; “I should do it.”
Emma was confused, and she blinked at him, not understanding what he meant for a second. Chase rolled his eyes at her, noticing her confusion.
“I’m saying, Emma,” he continued, “That I could adopt him.”
Emma blinked again, her mouth opening, though nothing came out, because the words were beyond her comprehension.
“I know that it’s rash, and I know that we’re only just beginning our lives now, but it’s different in the new world—we never know what’s around the corner, and the boy needs someone to look after him.”
“But you barely know a thing about kids,” she murmured.
He grinned. “I didn’t just teach physical education to teenagers, Emma. I’ve gone camping and done other stuff with kids of all ages. Trust me, I can handle it. Besides, this way we can start with that memory making, right?”
She jumped a little. It was like he’d read her mind. She could feel excitement start to build in her chest as she thought about making memories with her, Chase, her sister and that little boy. She couldn’t wait to begin, but there was still some resolve.
She didn’t doubt him. She knew there was a lot more to Chase than even she knew, even though she would be doing her best to change that in the near future. But if he said he could handle it... A slow smile grew on her face, and when Chase reached for her hand, she let him take it.
“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” she said, squeezing his hand. “We should go and wait in the same spot I saw the kid last night. I was going anyway, and you can come with, if you’d like. Unless you think you’ll be too tired?”
He had been working in the morning, and she planned to be out there by early evening. She could tell by the position of the sun outside that it must have been past noon, which meant she’d be going out in a little while.
But Chase didn’t seem to mind. “I can stand to lose a little sleep, don’t worry. But maybe I could rest for a while? The guys out on patrol should be coming back to switch soon. Tell me then and we can head out.”
Plan decided, Emma let him go and catch a short nap. As she waited for the patrollers out on the field to come back, she went and helped with tending to the field, but stuck close to the house. Carol, who was the closest person around, commented on her excitement, but Emma brushed it off. It would have been faster to just explain about the boy, but Emma didn’t feel like talking right then. Her mind was busy worrying about what would happen later on.
Would they meet the boy? And if they did, would they be able to talk him into going back with them? Her anxious thoughts swarmed around each other, and her thoughts slowly turned to a mini panic. What would they do if the boy ran again, if he didn’t trust them? If he didn’t even show up? Emma was psyching up for this, and she knew it would leave her devastated otherwise.
She tried to keep herself optimistic, and she worked with a little more force than necessary with the worries plaguing her. Carol made another comment, one Emma didn’t even hear properly, and like before, she dismissed it as nothing. Carol gave her a suspicious look, but didn’t pry.
When it was time, she went and got Chase. He took a minute to wake up, and they were off. She took him back to where she was sure she met the boy before, moving fast and haphazardly, that she might have knocked down a few corn stalks in her haste. She’d just have to remember to pick them when she went back, or someone else would if they came across the damage. Chase didn’t say anything about her speed, just matched her.
When they got there, she directed him to sit where they would have some cover. Hopefully, he would approach if he didn’t see them.
“But if he’s met you before, shouldn’t he want to get near you?” Chase asked, confused.
Emma chewed on her lip. “I don’t think so. It was dark, he probably didn’t see me all that well.”
They’d just have to wait and see how the kid reacted. And wait they did.
Emma and Chase waited for several hours out in the dark, waiting for the young boy to appear, but he didn’t, and with each passing hour, Emma’s impatience and frustration increased, frustration because there was nothing she could do.
“We should go out into the forest and see if we can find him,” Chase said, breaking the long silence.
But Emma pursed her lips, then explained, “I don’t think that would go over well. He’s skittish, which is understandable. Unless he makes the first move, we can’t go in there. I don’t want to scare him.”
They waited for some more hours, but he didn’t show. Deflated, they returned to the house.
Chapter Fifteen:
Emma woke up after another night of little sleep. She’d had plenty the night before, and besides, there was no way she could just fall asleep. At this point, she was getting used to randomly going without sleep, anyway.
It was stressing out her body, though. She didn’t want to go back to sleep, though she didn’t feel like getting out of bed, either, her body feeling particularly heavy. She groaned and rubbed at her eyes.
She’d spent most of the time thinking about the boy, wondering where he was and how he was doing, her worry increasing little by little until her stomach actually ached. She felt exhausted, mentally and physically, but she pushed herself out of bed.
Chase still lay there, and Emma sighed as she shifted so she could sit with her back to the headboard and Chase’s head near her hip. She remembered his own disappointment, and reached out to brush her hand through his hair.
After his optimist yesterday, the letdown had probably hit him just as hard as it had her. He had been the one to insist they go home when he felt too much time had passed. Emma had been reluctant, but followed him anyway. Unlike her, he’d been able to fall asleep.
He’d probably be out for some time, so she could just leave him alone. She knew he was as disappointed as she was that they didn’t find the boy, and she remember the words he’d said to her with a growing smile.
She wondered if he was serious about being the boy’s guardian. While Chase rarely said things he didn’t mean, she didn’t think he’d had enough time to think it through. Her smile dimmed a little as she grew
worried.
What if he grew to regret it? Emma knew something about taking care of young children. Though she couldn’t exactly count Brianna, since she was always such a happy child because Brian was a good dad, and she didn’t spend a lot of time with the girl. Just the times when Kellen felt like hogging her husband, or Brian had something to do besides stay at home, look after the kids and work out, both of which were rare.
But this would be taking care of a child full time, a child that had gone through trauma, and it wouldn’t exactly be a walk in the park. If Chase changed his mind later on...
Emma pushed those worries aside, though. Chase was a man of his word. She didn’t know how he was going to cope, or how good he was with children so young. Everything might turn out better than she was expecting. She was more than ready to try this, though.
She’d pictured Chase as a dad plenty of times, even before she started thinking of him romantically, and she thought he would do wonderfully. There was the implication that once he was the boy’s guardian, they would be raising him together... neither of them had explicitly said it, but Emma hoped that was the case.
At least this way, she could say she fulfilled one of her dreams. There was no grand wedding, and months of planning for a family, then getting pregnant and preparing for a baby. It just wasn’t safe, with how the world was now. Emma had all but given up on romance, only she couldn’t resist Chase for long. But even with all the steps skipped, and with their relationships beyond friendship still yet undefined, she wouldn’t mind looking after the orphaned boy with Chase.
But they had to find him first, and it would be the hard part. The hardest, would be getting the boy to trust them enough to go with them.
She sighed, and stopped playing with Chase’s hair. Though when she looked down, she noticed the peaceful look on his face, where before he had seemed troubled, and she smiled a little, happy to be of some help to someone that had done and given up so much for her sake. She wanted to play with it a little more, but nature called, and she wanted to head to the bathroom.