Sometimes a lie is just a different version of the truth. When people accuse you of lying, it’s usually because they don’t like what you say. That’s what you’re doing now. I always tell the truth – except when I’m lying. Are you confused enough to pretend you forgot what we were talking about?
– Aunt Tillie to Winnie when accusations of lying start flying
Nineteen
“I am going to wring that woman’s neck,” Landon bellowed a few minutes later as he picked twigs and branches from his hair. Aunt Tillie was feeling vindictive this time, so she dropped us in a bush. Not just any bush, mind you, but a blackberry thicket – complete with thorns. My arms looked as if I’d been in a fight with thirty cats … and lost.
“She’s playing a game,” I said. “There’s no other explanation. The first memories were hard for her. She didn’t want to leave because she got to see Grandma Ginger and Uncle Calvin. These last handful, though, they’ve been all about us. They’re for our benefit.”
“What benefit are we getting?” Landon asked, grabbing a twig from my hair. “I’ll admit seeing your birth was amazing. I loved little Bay beyond words. A lot of the rest of this has been torture.”
“I don’t think she means it to be torture,” I argued. “I think … I think she’s trying to show us something.”
“Yeah, her middle finger.”
The bubbling laughter surprised even me. I let it come, though, bending over at the waist to catch my breath when the fit subsided. When I straightened, I found Landon staring at me as if I’d grown another head.
“What?”
“It’s not funny, Bay,” Landon said. “I’m trying so hard to be a good sport, but … come on! We’ve been through enough. Watching me break your heart for a second time almost gutted me.
“You were brave, and I appreciate that, but I saw your face,” he continued. “It hurt you all over again, and that’s not fair. We’re here because of her. She owes us a way out of this cesspool she calls a mind.”
I had no comfort to offer, so instead I gave him the only thing I could: a lame apology. “I’m so sorry for all of this.”
“You didn’t do this, Bay,” Landon said, pulling me in for a hug. He rested his cheek against my forehead. “Stop apologizing for that woman’s actions. I can take a lot, but I can’t take that.”
“We have to be close to the end, Landon,” I offered. “The last memory was … what … four months ago?”
“Three months and twenty days.”
I stilled. “That’s pretty specific.”
“I thought I lost you, Bay. It’s not like I can forget it.”
I tilted my chin up and smiled at him.
“This is not funny!”
“You really do love me, don’t you?” I was almost giddy with warmth as it washed over me.
“Of course I love you,” Landon shot back. “That’s nothing to smile about right now, though.”
“This has to be the last one, Landon,” I said. “She wants us to see something else.”
“Oh, yeah? What?”
“I don’t know,” I said, turning my head when I heard the sound of whistling. I recognized Marcus, Thistle’s boyfriend, right away. He had a bag in his hand and was practically skipping down the path that leads from The Overlook. “It’s Marcus.”
Landon shifted so he could see his friend. They’d become close after spending so many nights at the guesthouse. Now that it was only Thistle and me, the odds weren’t stacked against them like they were when it was three-on-two. Don’t tell Thistle that, by the way. She still thinks she has the upper hand.
“Hey guys,” Marcus said, nodding in our direction. “What are you doing out here? I thought you were staying in bed at the guesthouse all day.”
Well, that was interesting. This appeared to be an interactive memory. Unfortunately, our only tip to the timeframe was Marcus’ hint that Landon and I were spending the day in bed. That could be almost any Sunday.
“We decided to go for a walk,” Landon said, resting his hand on the small of my back. “It’s such a nice … summer … day.”
“Uh-huh,” Marcus said, slowing his pace. He’s not known for his verbosity. Pulling answers from him wouldn’t be easy.
“It is summer, right?” Landon asked.
“Last time I checked,” Marcus replied, narrowing his eyes. “Is something I don’t know about going on? I swear I saw you guys twenty minutes ago and you were still in your pajamas.”
“Nothing is going on with us,” I said. “What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.”
“Where are you going?” Landon asked, suspiciously eyeing the bag in Marcus’ hand. Marcus helped Aunt Tillie with her pot garden, so Landon was naturally wary about what he might be carrying. “Please tell me that’s not marijuana.”
“It’s not marijuana,” Marcus said, not missing a beat.
“Are you just saying that because I told you to say it?”
Marcus shrugged. “Maybe.”
Something was off about this memory. I didn’t see Aunt Tillie, and the pot field was magically cloaked. We were a good hundred feet from it and I’d yet to see her telltale gardening hat when I scanned the area. “Marcus, where do you think we are?”
“Why are you asking him that?” Landon challenged.
“Why did you ask him if he was carrying marijuana?” I asked. “We’re in Aunt Tillie’s mind. He could be carrying a dead body and there’s nothing you could do about it.”
“Why would I be carrying a dead body?” Marcus questioned.
“Why are you carrying pot?” Landon shot back.
“I never said it was pot,” Marcus protested.
“Hey! Both of you shut up,” I ordered. “It’s been a really long day and I’m exhausted. Something odd is going on here, and I think Marcus knows what it is.”
“I don’t know a thing,” Marcus said, continuing down the path. “I never know anything. That’s the way I like it.”
Landon and I fell into step behind him, linking fingers and watching him amble in the direction of the field.
“That’s not true, Marcus,” I called to his back. “You know a lot more than you ever let on. You’re good at keeping secrets. That’s why Aunt Tillie lets you help with her pot field.”
“I guess that’s true,” Marcus admitted. “But I still don’t know what you’re talking about right now.”
“See, I don’t think that’s true,” I said, increasing my pace. “You’re leading us somewhere, aren’t you? Where?”
“I’m going to help Aunt Tillie,” Marcus answered. “I have no idea where you’re going.”
“We’re going with you.”
“Well, this will be fun.” Marcus was abnormally cheerful for a guy leading an FBI agent into an illegal situation. This wasn’t a memory – well, probably not a full memory, at least. This was something else.
Aunt Tillie waited in her garden as we approached. I could see her hat as she bent over to study a plant. She didn’t look perturbed when she realized Marcus wasn’t alone.
“So this is the infamous pot field, huh?” Landon glanced around. I’d forgotten he couldn’t see it because of Aunt Tillie’s wards. “I saw it once when I first met you. I was going to go back and look around, but she hid it soon after.”
“She’s always hidden it,” I countered. “I don’t think you saw her field like you think you did.”
“I know I saw her field,” Landon said. “I don’t know why I could see it that day and not the others, but I swear I saw it.”
“I wonder why.”
“It was probably a test,” Marcus offered, dropping the bag next to Aunt Tillie. “She let me see the field once, too. That was before we started working together. I think she wanted to see if I would rat her out to the cops.”
“Is that true, Aunt Tillie?” I asked. “Did you let Landon see the field to test him?”
“I’m guessing she wanted to know whether I’d arrest her,” Landon
said. “When I didn’t, she hid it anyway because she knew she would tick me off enough to arrest her eventually.”
I snorted. That sounded just like Aunt Tillie. “Aunt Tillie, what are we doing here? What lesson are you teaching us now?”
“And it had better be the last one,” Landon added. “We’re done. We want to go home.”
“We’re tired,” I supplied. “I think we’ve been pretty good sports about all of this, despite the fact that you’ve shown us some horrible things.”
“You’ve shown us some wonderful things, too,” Landon said. “I appreciate them. I still want my pot roast.”
“You’re almost done,” Aunt Tillie said. “You simply have to tell me what you’ve learned, and then I’ll send you home.”
“We’ve learned you’re crazy,” Landon said.
“You already knew that,” Aunt Tillie said. “What else have you learned?”
Was she expecting an honest answer? Was this more than a game to her? “I learned that you’ve had to deal with a lot more than I ever understood,” I volunteered. Landon slid me a sidelong glance but remained silent. “I’ve learned that Uncle Calvin was a wonderful man, and I wish I’d gotten to know him.
“I’ve learned that you’re unbelievably loyal, and what you did to Lila that day is something I really appreciate now that I’m old enough to understand why you kept it a secret,” I continued. “I’ve learned that you get a bad rap every single day. Sometimes you deserve it. Sometimes you don’t.
“The days you don’t deserve it, though, you still embrace it,” I said. “You don’t want people to know you have a good heart, so you hide it under your curmudgeonly exterior. I’ve learned you’ve gone through really terrible times and come out the other side.”
“That was very lovely, Bay,” Aunt Tillie said, rolling her eyes. “What did you learn about yourself?”
“Oh, man,” Landon muttered. “I knew this was going to be turned around on us.”
I bit my lip, unsure how to answer.
“I’ll tell you what we’ve learned,” Landon offered. “We’ve learned that we had to go through all of the bad times because, no matter what, the good times outweigh them. We’ve learned that we’re going to be happy because we’ve already been happy.
“We’ve learned that bad things happen to everyone and love will get us through them,” he continued. “We’ve also learned we don’t want to dwell on the bad stuff, because the good stuff is so much better.”
“That’s closer,” Aunt Tillie said. “You’re still missing the point.”
“Sonovabitch!” Landon lifted his head and stared at the sun.
“We’ve learned that we love you and could never be happy without you,” I said. “We’ve learned you’re always right and we’re rarely right when we argue with you. We’ve learned that you’ve had a wonderful life and you’ve shared it with us, so we’re blessed.”
“Very good, Bay.” Aunt Tillie beamed.
“We’ve also learned that you’re feeding off us and we’re not going to take it for one second longer,” I snapped, grabbing her arm and taking her by surprise. “Now enough is enough, Aunt Tillie. We want to go home, and you’re coming with is.”
Aunt Tillie fought to wrench her arm away but I dug in with my fingernails and refused to let her.
“Let me go!”
“No!”
“Marcus! You have to help me,” Aunt Tillie shouted, digging in her heels and trying to find enough leverage to pull away from me. I was determined, though. I was not going to let her go.
To my surprise, when I risked a glance at Marcus to see whether he’d intervene, I found my gaze locking with Uncle Calvin’s. He shot me a sympathetic smile as he moved closer.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, dumbfounded. “You shouldn’t be in this part of the timeline.”
“This isn’t a memory, Bay,” Calvin said. “This is my Tillie being a stubborn mule. I used to find it cute back then. It’s not so cute now.”
“Definitely not,” Grandma Ginger said, appearing at Landon’s side. “Tillie, really, this is undignified. Let Bay take you home.”
I added my other hand to Aunt Tillie’s wrist so I wouldn’t lose her, and focused on my grandmother. “I’ve heard stories about you. I know this isn’t real, but it’s still nice to meet you.”
“You’ve met me before, Bay,” Ginger said, offering me a bright smile. “Only you didn’t realize it was me.”
“When? How?”
“In your dreams, sweet girl,” Ginger said, laughing. “I’ve watched all of you grow up. I’ve watched you fight with each other … and your mothers … and Tillie. I’ve watched you cry. I’ve watched your heart break.” She cast a sympathetic look in Landon’s direction as he lowered his eyes. “I’ve also watched your heart soar as you figured out your place in this world.”
“We both have,” Calvin said. “You wouldn’t be the woman you are today without Tillie’s magic.”
“And her unfortunate cursing habit,” Ginger added. “The thing is, Tillie, you’re not done back there. You can’t stay here. You don’t belong here.”
“I’m old,” Aunt Tillie snapped. “I can decide where I want to stay.”
“But we’re not really here,” Calvin offered. “We’re real in the sense that we were part of your life, but Ginger and I are in another place. You can’t access it from here. If you stay here, you’ll waste away in that hospital bed until your body finally gives out.”
“That’s not going to happen anytime soon,” Ginger said. “Think about it, Tillie. We’ll always be waiting for you. We’re not going anywhere.”
“You don’t have to go anywhere yet either,” Calvin prodded. “You could have a lot of good years left.”
“You could live to see another generation of Winchesters,” Ginger added, smiling at Landon and me. “They could be just as mouthy and ready for trouble as the last lot of them. You don’t want to miss that.”
“They don’t need me,” Aunt Tillie spat. “They’re grown. They’re done.”
“We’re not done,” I argued. “We’re almost done. We still need you to finish the job you started.”
“If you don’t come with us, I’m going to drink all of your wine and burn that pot field,” Landon threatened. “Bay will help me, because you won’t be able to stop her. Then I’m going to tell everyone in town that you were weak and we beat you.”
My mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe he was taunting her.
“You can’t let that happen, Tillie,” Calvin said. “Do you want to be beaten by ‘The Man?’”
I realized what they were doing, and on an absurd level I knew that Calvin and Ginger’s appearance was a way for Aunt Tillie to talk herself into returning home. She wanted to go with me. I knew she did. She was torn, though.
“I won’t let you go,” I said, instinctively kicking out and slamming my foot into her shin.
“Bay!” Landon was shocked.
Aunt Tillie’s legs gave out and she crumpled to her knees. “I’m going to curse you to within an inch of your life!”
“Oh, I vote for the bacon curse,” Landon said, slipping his finger through my belt loops. He sensed another shift.
I let go of Aunt Tillie’s wrist long enough to grab the front of her shirt. “Take us home!”
The colors began swirling, and I jerked my head to the left and right, wondering whether this would be the last time I’d see Calvin and Ginger.
“Good job, Bay,” Calvin said, smiling. “I’ll see you one day, too, but it won’t be for a long while.”
“I’ll see you in your dreams,” Ginger said.
“Until we meet again,” Calvin called out.
Then everything went black.
I love you all. I don’t say that enough, but it’s true … well, some of the time. Now get out of my face. Togetherness is great and all, but you’re all starting to chafe my butt, and there’s a bottle of wine with my name on it.
– Au
nt Tillie spends quality time with the family on Christmas
Twenty
I was falling.
Even before I opened my eyes I could feel it. In the split-second before I opened my eyes I saw the hospital’s linoleum floor rushing toward me, and then Landon reached down and caught me before I made contact.
“I’ve got you,” Landon said, grunting as he lifted me toward his chest and settled me back on his lap. “That was close, huh?”
I laughed despite myself. “You always manage to catch me.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” Landon said, kissing my nose.
“Oh, Criminy,” Aunt Tillie muttered from the bed, her eyes accusatory when they landed on me. “You two are sickening in life and in memories.”
“Aunt Tillie,” I said, exhaling heavily as I climbed off Landon’s lap. “You’re here.”
“Of course I’m here,” Aunt Tillie snorted. “Where else would I be?”
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I was … worried.” Instinctively I reached forward and grabbed her hand, happy to see there were no marks on her wrist from where I grabbed her and refused to let go.
Instead of pulling away, Aunt Tillie offered me a weak smile and squeezed my hand. “That’s your problem, Bay,” she said, collecting herself. “You worry about too much.”
“I guess we share that problem,” Landon said, moving in behind me. We were back in our hospital scrubs, not that we ever really left them. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a tree,” Aunt Tillie replied, gingerly touching the bandage on the side of her head. “How long do I have to stay here? I want to go home.”
“I think we should let the doctor decide that,” I said.
“Aunt Tillie?”
I jerked my head to the door when I heard Mom’s voice, giving Aunt Tillie’s hand a squeeze before releasing it to make room for distraught family members circling around the bed.
“We were so worried,” Mom said, hurrying to Aunt Tillie’s side. “Bay and Landon went in the ambulance with you, but we got here as fast as we could.”
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