Bird

by KW Finch

  “Good to see you Jackson, it’s been a while my dear boy.” I think he was going for an Oscar nomination for his acting, he was pulling out all the stops.

  “Girls.” He continued, while still shaking my hand even more vigorously. “How about getting Jackson a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake?”

  With that, the two girls simultaneously pecked me on each cheek and slowly wiggled their way up to the counter. They walked very slowly, all the men were hypnotised by the girls. Anita’s skirt didn’t quite cover the tops of her stockings and the high heels made her legs look fantastic.

  “Jesus Christ.” was all I could say to the Growler as we sat down at the table. “The things I could do with those two!”

  “And you will, in time.” He reassured me “They’ve missed you too Jackson.”

  “Don’t.” I exclaimed. The Growler laughed loudly.

  “Get ready.” he said under his breath and glancing up at the girls. “Finale approaching.”

  By now the two girls were waiting at the counter and were standing quite close to each other. Tania stroked Anita’s arm in an affectionate way and they both gazed at each other. That was the signal and I guessed what was coming next.

  “I didn’t know what size notes you wanted.” The Growler whispered. “There’s a mixture there and I’ve added a few quid extra, in case you need it.” He said, looking down. I could see the wad of cash concealed in his hand. Another glance around the room at the screws and some of them were half watching the cons but still looking at the girls.

  There were two screws quite close to our table and I didn’t want them to get any idea of what was happening between me and the Growler. I waited, any second now and I would get my chance. Anita now had her arms on Tania’s shoulders. Then they did it, the most erotic kiss. The whole visiting hall feel silent, apart from the screw nearest me, he gave a sort of muffled whimper. The girls definitely had everyone’s attention.

  The Growler casually put his hand out with the cash and I palmed it in a natural movement and stuffed the wad in a trouser pocket. Sitting back I’d put both my hands in my pockets trying to make the movement look as natural as possible. There was no way I would be able to get that wad of cash past a body search after my visit. £600 was quite a bulky amount of cash to conceal. Another diversion would be needed.

  Meanwhile, at the counter the two girls finally came up for air. Anita glanced over at us and smiled. The Growler gave the slightest of nods to signal her we’d done the switch. They then picked up the teas and cake they’d ordered and made their way back to our table. The rest of the room then tried to get on with their visit and the screws did their best to keep an eye on everyone in the room.

  It was quite apparent that the girls were centre of attention and the screws were paying a lot more attention to our table than the others. We huddled quite close around our table and spoke in hushed tones. The two girls looking around every few moments to wink at one of the screws or lick their lips at them. They were putting on a fantastic show. All too quickly the visit was coming to an end and I would have to make my way back to the wing.

  “Thanks for coming up today.” I said to the Growler. “I know it was short notice but you’ve done a stunning job.”

  “Not a problem Jackson.” He replied. “Anytime. Now kiss the girls goodbye, we’ve still got some work to do. We need to get you back past these screws without a body search.”

  “I’m sure you’ve got it covered.” I smiled back to the Growler. He never said anything but just gave that knowing look of his.

  The idea of the goodbye kiss was to get everyone’s attention again, as if that was needed. The girls again lavished their attentions on me. I really wished I was alone with them. A bell rang to signal the end of visiting time and I gave the girls one last kiss before shaking the Growlers hand.

  “Thanks again Growler.” I said before turning to head back to the little room I’d left not all that long ago. There were two different screws this time, they were the two that had been standing near me and had been keeping a close eye on the girls. There were three other cons in front of me and they were in the process of being body searched before being sent back to the wing.

  I was standing in the doorway to the little room as there wasn’t enough room for all of us to fit in. More cons came and stood behind me, it was beginning to get a bit crowded. It had been busy in the visitor’s hall. After each con was searched they were then free to exit the opposite door and then head back toward the wing. I was relying on the fact that the weekend screws were a lot more lax than the weekday ones.

  “Jesus Christ!” I heard one of the cons saying from behind me at the back of the queue, “Look at the legs on that.”

  “Never mind that.” Another said. “The other ones undoing her blouse.”

  I looked back into the visiting hall to see what was going on. There were a few lingering visitors left in the room but it was Tania and Anita that were giving the lags one last show. Tania had one foot on a chair, the incredibly high heel of the gloss red shoe she was wearing making a perfect shape to her already long leg. She was pulling her skirt up while attempting to adjust her suspender belt, stocking top and suspender belt clearly visible. Meanwhile, not to be outdone Tania was indeed undoing her blouse.

  “It’s so hot in here, don’t you think?” She was asking Anita. It certainly was!

  The cons couldn’t help themselves, the ones left in the visiting hall had started to crowd around the two girls. The ones queuing up with me didn’t think much of that as it ruined their view so they started to leave the line up to get a closer look. Some of the cons started to chat to the girls, asking them to show more flesh or for a kiss. The screws started to intervene and it started to get a bit rowdy. The two screws doing the body searches could see it was starting to get a bit out of hand and went to assist the other screws.

  “Wait there.” One of them commanded as they both made their way to help sort out the commotion, not bothering to lock the door that exited the building and on to the wing.

  Once they had left the room I saw my chance and made a casual and unhurried exit. Most of the gates were unlocked apart from the last one which was the one onto my wing. I had no option but to wait. A few of the other cons had followed me when I left the visiting hall and I guessed they were glad of not being searched as well. I knew one of them was a dealer so he had probably stocked up on his supply of drugs for the weekend.

  After about 20 minutes of skulking about waiting a screw appeared from the wing block and started heading across the field towards us. When he got to the gate he unlocked it and let us through without a word. Now I had the money the next part of the plan could be put into operation, the caning of Woolfe.

  TWENTY TWO

  That afternoon after supper I was sitting with Muzzleflash and his crew as usual. We had just finished dinner and were discussing the events of the day. Word had got back to the wing about my eventful visit without me having to tell anyone.

  “So who were the girls London?” Gibby was keen to know. “Are they coming back again? Let me know and I’ll make sure I’m down there next time. I’ll arrange for a visitor so I can get down there and see these birds.”

  “Steady on tiger.” I put in. “I’m not sure the convent will let them out again for a while.”

  “What?” He asked

  “They’re good little catholic girls the rest of the week. They only venture out if it’s worth their while.”

  Gibby looked at me with a confused face.

  “Take no notice Gibby,” Muzzleflash interrupted, “he’s winding you up.”

  I grinned at Gibby and in return he threw a piece of uneaten bread at me from his dinner plate.

  “If you come and see me in an hour,” Muzzleflash continued to me, “we can have a chat about the work you need done and after that,” he added with a smile, “I’ve got a brew ready. It is Saturday after all.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” I smiled back.


  So an hour later I was sitting in Muzzleflash’s cell, it was just the two of us.

  “I’ve done my homework on your friend Woolfe.” he started. “Nasty piece of work.”

  “You don’t say.” I said, rubbing my side.

  “Oh yes,” he went on, “besides what he did to you, he’s a really nasty bloke.”

  “He probably eats babies for breakfast.” I suggested.

  “Not far short.” Muzzleflash frowned. “I’ve got four men to do the labour work tomorrow, they will need sticks but I’m sorting that out. I don’t want any of my men hurt and I’m not taking any chances. There will be two lookouts as well because I don’t want any comeback on us either.”

  “Ok, good.” I affirmed. “Where and when?”

  “Tomorrow morning after breakfast I’ve rounded up some lags for an inter wing football match.” He smiled at me.

  “You what?” I replied.

  “It is short notice,” he went on “but I’ve managed to pull in favours and blackmail or bribe some cons into it. We should have enough for a diversion so we can slip onto Woolfe's wing unnoticed.”

  “Okay good, so how is it all going to work?” I asked Muzzleflash.

  “The football matches will be five a side.” He explained. “That way there will be lags backwards and forwards between their own wing and the field in front of the wing entrance.”

  “Which will give us a chance to slip in and out without being noticed.” I added.

  “Precisely.” Muzzleflash smiled. “Woolfe likes to take his shower every morning at the same time and that will be our chance.”

  “Ok, sounds good.” I agreed “I want to be there too.”

  Muzzleflash frowned at me.

  “No, not a good idea. If you’re seen on his wing it will tie you in with the beating. You’ve got motive. Besides, you’re not up to it and you know it.”

  “Don’t care, I’m in.” I said staring at Muzzleflash.

  “You’re paying the bill.” He relented.

  He wasn’t happy about it but it was too bad. I wanted in, Woolf had it coming to him and I wanted to be there. I took the money from my pocket.

  “There you go,” I said while handing him the cash, “that should put a smile on your face.”

  It did. The rest of the evening was taken up with getting a brew down and having a social gathering. The ones involved in the job tomorrow didn’t overdo the booze and I was glad about that.

  The next morning after breakfast we were ready to go, standing on the field in the front of the two wings. The cons were slow to assemble and Muzzleflash was making himself vocal getting all the lags assembled. He had no problem walking onto the other wing and dragging the cons out into the chill morning air.

  As unassuming as he was Muzzleflash seemed to know a lot of cons and they all showed a respect for him. I was quite impressed. He was definitely a people person, a mover and shaker. Such a shame he was a surveyor back on the out he could be a really useful bloke to have around in my world. Muzzleflash appeared from the direction of A wing with the last of the lags.

  “Right then,” he cried out, “We’re all ready to kick off.”

  That was funny I thought to myself because it would really kick off when the screws found Woolfe within the next half hour. We left Muzzleflash to organise the football games and got on with our own task. Myself, Peso, Gibby, Johnny Briggs and another con I’d got to know, Latimer made our way to the window outside Crusher’s cell.

  Gibby tapped gently on the window and it opened immediately. A piece of wood was thrust out of the opening, it looked like a table leg. Gibby took the wood and slipped half of it down the side of his left trouser leg and covered the rest with his tunic. He stepped out of the way and another table leg was thrust out of the window for the next con. We all took turns to arm ourselves with Latimer being the last one. After taking it and tucking it away he stuck his head up to the gap in the window.

  “Cheers Crush.” Latimer whispered.

  I could see Crusher nod on the other side of the window as he closed it up. We made our way to A wing entrance and walked silently in, stopping by the section just before the wing office. The two watchers, Mick and another con I’d seen around the wing but never really spoke to him, Dickson, had tagged on behind us. They stopped and held their distance, waiting for our next move. I could hear voices coming from the office and it sounded like two screws having a joke with each other. We decided to take our chances and walked as casually as possible past the office door.

  I glanced in as I strolled by, not that strolling is easy with a table leg stuffed down your trousers. One of the screws was at the far side of the office and was filling a kettle at the sink. The other screw was facing him and away from the door so we got by unnoticed. What with the football match going on I was hoping that the lazy weekend screws wouldn’t be too bothered with the comings and goings this morning.

  We made our way to the shower rooms without wasting any time. As the wing was a mirror image of ours it was easy to find our way about. We stopped outside the shower rooms and Dickson went in to clear any bystanders while Mick waited at the corridor entrance. Three cons came out of the shower entrance shortly after Dickson had entered with towels wrapped around them. They looked worried and rightly so. I didn’t want the whole process to take more than two minutes, get in there and give him a caning then straight back to our wing.

  We were all standing there with our table legs at the ready. Dickson appeared at the door and holding it open with a nod we all entered the shower area. He then closed it behind us, keeping lookout from the outside. Woolfe was just finishing his morning shower and was grabbing his towel when we walked in. He spotted us straight away and made a lunge for his clothes. He could move very quickly and had picked something up from the pile, I guessed it was a knife but didn’t wait to find out.

  I sprang across the room while swinging the table leg. Woolfe was still leaning over his pile of clothes when the wood of the table leg met his body. I could hear the crack of bones such was the force I had used. Woolfe fell to the floor and I saw the blade of the knife drop from his hand, I’d guessed right. As he hit the ground he rolled with the blow and sprang up and grabbed a chair that was next to one of the other shower cubicles.

  He threw it at me with such force I had to dive out of the way. Peso managed to catch it without making a noise but he had dropped his own table leg in the process. Woolfe now dived to the floor and grabbed the blade but Latimer had leapt forward and brought his foot down on Woolfe’s hand with the blade in. Woolfe was totally unfazed by this and lifted his arm with the blade still in it. Latimer lost his balance and crashed back awkwardly against a shower wall.

  I took another lunge at Woolfe and he stepped back out of the way, leaving me to swing my table leg in the air. Latimer now grabbed him in a bear hug but couldn’t hold him though. Woolfe was still soaking wet from the shower and Latimer couldn’t get a firm grip, Woolfe just shrugged him off. Peso and Gibby stepped forward, either side of me and started raining blows with their wooden table legs either side of Woolfe.

  I saw my chance and swung my table leg upwards, planting a solid blow straight between his legs. This just seemed to annoy him and it was at this point that I began to think that four of us and the two minutes that I had allowed were not enough. He lunged straight at me, thrusting the knife at my face. I moved my head to one side but again Woolfe was too quick for me and he caught my, the blade ran along my cheek, slicing my skin in the process.

  Johnny Briggs finally made himself useful, he wrapped his arm around the outstretched arm of Woolfe and pulled it down while bringing his knee up to meet the same section of his ribs I had hit earlier when I first entered the shower room. Woolfe exhaled and for a fraction of a second he was vulnerable. We all saw this chance and didn’t hesitate to make the most of it. Gibby swung his table leg at the back of Woolfe's knees causing him to buckle, Peso immediately smashed his table leg to the side of Woolfe's head to be
followed again by Gibby with a heavy blow to his back and that was it, Woolfe was on the floor.

  We all rained blows on him and I put in a few well aimed kicks to the small of his back for good measure. Let him feel what it’s like to piss blood for a while! Dickson, the watcher at the door stuck his head in.

  “Time.” He called in a hushed voice. He looked down at the crumpled Woolfe on the floor.

  “He had that coming.” He muttered under his breath.

  We threw the table legs to the floor and left the motionless body of Woolfe to rush back to our wing.

  “Good work boys.” I said as we all rushed from the shower room and back to our own cells.

  We had to take a casual walk as we passed the screws in the A wing office but they didn’t take much notice again. Then another thirty seconds later I was back in my own cell. I looked at the cut to my face in the mirror above my sink. It wasn’t too bad, only about an inch long and not too deep. He’d only just caught my right cheek bone. At least it wouldn’t need stitching.

  TWENTY THREE

  It was while I was studying the wound that the wing alarm bells started to ring and I could hear the screws starting to shout.

  “Back to your cells, bang up.” They were saying.

  The cell doors were being slammed shut, I could hear them banging all around me. A screw poked his head into my cell, saw I was in it and pulled my door closed. It crashed shut with a bang. I sat back on my bunk and listened to the commotion all around me. We would be banged up for a good couple of hours now while they got Woolfe off to hospital and tried to get to the bottom of what had happened.

  I spent the time thinking about the next part of the plan and what I would do next. I was still convinced Woolfe had some kind of escape plan on the go. If it did all turn out to be a waste of time though what was I going to do about it? I had already got used to the fact I was going to be out soon, I had to think of a plan B, and a C.