by Sabaa Tahir
Page 88
“I’ll tell you,” he rasps. “For all the good it will do. He’s in Kauf, girl. They shipped him there the day after the Moon Festival. ”
Kauf. Kauf. Kauf. I force myself to believe it. To face it. Kauf, where my parents and sister were tortured and executed. Kauf, where only the foulest criminals are sent. To suffer. To rot. To die.
It’s over, I realize. Nothing I’ve endured—the whippings, the scarring, the beatings—none of it matters. The Resistance will kill me. Darin will die in prison. There’s nothing I can do to change it.
My knife is still at Mazen’s throat. “You’ll pay for this,” I say to him. “I swear it to the skies, to the stars. You’ll pay. ”
“I very much doubt it, Laia. ” His eyes dart over my shoulder and I turn—too late. I catch a flash of red hair and brown eyes before pain bursts in my temple and I fall into darkness.
***
When I come to, my first feeling is that of relief that I’m not dead.
My next is of blunt, consuming rage as Keenan’s face swims into focus. Traitor! Deceiver! Liar!
“Thank the skies,” he says. “I thought I’d hit you too hard. No—wait—”
I fumble for my knife, every second I’m conscious making me more lucid and, thus, more murderous. “I’m not going to hurt you, Laia. Please—listen. ”
My knife is gone, and I look around wildly. He’s going to kill me now.
We’re in some sort of large shed; sunlight seeps through the cracks between the warped wooded boards, and there’s a jungle of gardening implements leaning against the walls.
If I can escape him, I can hide out in the city. The Commandant thinks I’m dead, so if I can get the slaves’ cuffs off, I might be able to leave Serra.
But then what? Do I go back to Blackcliff for Izzi, lest she be taken by the Commandant and tortured? Do I try to help Elias? Do I try to make my way to Kauf and break Darin out? The prison’s more than a thousand miles away.
I have no idea how to get there. No skills to survive a country swarming with Martial patrols. If, by some miracle, I do make it there, how will I get in? How will I get out? Darin might be dead by then. He might be dead now.
He’s not dead. If he was dead, I’d know.
All this passes through my mind in an instant. I jump to my feet and lunge for a rake: Right now, what matters most is getting away from Keenan.
“Laia, no. ” He grabs my arms and forces them to my sides. “I’m not going to kill you,” he says. “I swear it. Just listen. ”
I stare into his dark eyes, hating myself for how weak and stupid I feel.
“You knew, Keenan. You knew Mazen never wanted to help me. And you told me my brother was in the death cells. You used me—”
“I didn’t know—”
“If you didn’t know, then why did you knock me out in that basement? Why did you just stand there while Mazen ordered you to kill me?”
“If I hadn’t gone along with it, he’d have murdered you himself. ” It’s the anguish in Keenan’s eyes that makes me listen. For once, he’s holding nothing back. “Mazen locked up everyone he thinks is against him. ‘Confining them,’ he says, for their own good. Sana’s under full guard. I couldn’t let him do the same to me—not if I wanted to help you. ”
“Did you know Darin had been sent to Kauf?”
“None of us knew. Mazen played the whole thing too close. He never let us hear the reports from his spies in the prison. He never gave us details of his plan to get Darin out. He ordered me to tell you your brother was in the death cells—maybe he was hoping to goad you into taking a risk that would get you killed. ” Keenan lets me go. “I trusted him, Laia. He’s led the Resistance for a decade. His vision, his dedication—those are the only things that kept us together. ”
“Just because he’s a good leader doesn’t mean he’s a good person. He lied to you. ”
“And I’m a fool for not seeing it. Sana suspected he wasn’t being truthful. When she realized that you and I were. . . friends, she told me her suspicions. I was sure she was wrong. But then, at that last meeting, Mazen said your brother was in Bekkar. And it didn’t make any sense because Bekkar’s a tiny prison. If your brother was there, we’d have bribed someone to get him out ages ago. I don’t know why he said it. Maybe he thought I wouldn’t notice. Maybe he panicked when he realized you wouldn’t just take him at his word. ”
Keenan wipes a tear from my face. “I told Sana what Mazen said about Bekkar, but we rode to attack the Emperor that night. She didn’t confront Mazen until afterward, and she made me stay out of it. A good thing, too. She thought her faction would get behind her, but they abandoned her when Mazen persuaded them that she was an obstacle to his revolution. ”
“The revolution won’t work. The Commandant’s known from the beginning that I’m a spy. She knew the Resistance was going to attack the Emperor. Someone in the Resistance is reporting to her. ”
Keenan’s face goes pale. “I knew the attack on the Emperor was too easy. I tried to tell Mazen, but he wouldn’t have it. And all the time, the Commandant wanted us to attack. She wanted Taius out of the way. ”
“She’ll be ready for Mazen’s revolution, Keenan. She’ll crush the Resistance. ”
Keenan digs around in his pockets for something. “I have to get Sana out. I have to tell her about the spy. If she can get to Tariq and the other leaders in her faction, she might be able to stop them before they walk into a trap. But first—” He pulls out a small paper packet and a square of leather and hands them to me. “Acid, to break off your cuffs. ” He explains how I’m to use them, making me repeat the directions twice. “No mistakes on this—there’s barely enough. It’s very hard to find.
“Lay low tonight. Tomorrow morning at fourth bell, get to the river docks. Find a galley called the Badcat. Tell them you have a shipment of gems for the jewelers of Silas. Not your name, not my name, nothing else. They’ll hide you in the hold. You’ll go upriver to Silas, about a three-week trip. I’ll meet you there. And we’ll figure out what to do about Darin. ”
“He’ll die in Kauf, Keenan. He might not even survive the journey there. ”
“He’ll survive. The Martials know how to keep people alive when it suits them. And prisoners are taken to Kauf to suffer, not to die. Most prisoners hold out for a few months; some hold out for years. ”
Where there is life, Nan used to say, there is hope. My own hope flares, a candle in the dark. Keenan’s getting me out. He’s saving me from Blackcliff.
He’ll help me save Darin.
“My friend Izzi. She’s helped me. But the Commandant knows we talk. I have to save her. I swore to myself that I would. ”
“I’m sorry, Laia. I can get you out—no one else. ”
“Thank you,” I whisper. “Please, consider your debt to my father paid—”
“You think I’m doing this for him? For his memory?” Keenan leans forward, his eyes nearly black with intensity, his face so close that I can feel his breath against my cheek. “Maybe it started that way. But not now. Not anymore. You and I, Laia. We’re the same. For the first time since I can remember, I don’t feel alone. Because of you. I can’t—I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve tried not to. I’ve tried to push you out—”