by Jaci Burton
She put the paper on the desk and stared down at the cover page, unable to believe her eyes. It was marked “Highly Confidential, for Tony Marino only.” She shouldn’t read it. Then again, it was about her. But what about her?
Unable to resist, she turned to the next page and read until she’d finished. By then her stomach rolled and she felt like she might be sick. Every sordid detail of her past, including David’s full name, his family background, her family background, even former addresses and childhood friends was listed there.
He’d found everything about her. Everything. The man was thorough, she had to give him that. Every one of her dirty little secrets. Tony had found everything he’d come looking for, and then some.
And in the meantime, he’d skillfully gained her trust, even fucked her. Wouldn’t this story look great in the tabloids?
She’d fallen in love with him, and he’d used her to gain information, to get a fucking story! How could he do this to her? He was no better than David had been. Manipulating her, bending her, twisting her inside out only to whip her raw.
Despite the humidity she shivered, completely cold inside. Remembering the times Tony had so easily taken her any way he wanted to made her want to crawl under her desk and curl up in a ball.
Her immediate thought was to run. Pull up stakes and take off where no one could find her, least of all David. Once the news leaked out he’d have access to her again. Even David had no idea where she was. Neither did her family. Soon, everyone would know.
She fought back the tears, letting the fury take over. Grabbing the fax off the desk she stormed out of his room.
She’d been screwed once, and let it happen. Never again.
* * * * *
Tony sat upright in bed, his hand immediately reaching for Morgan but finding the space next to him empty.
Where was she? He glanced at the clock. Three in the morning. Maybe she was outside. He stepped outside but didn’t see her. The house was dark, no lights were turned on either in front or in back.
So where the hell was she?
He heard noises in the kitchen and found her slamming a cup and bottle of rum onto the counter, then spilling half the contents as her shaking hands poured the liquid into the glass.
“Morgan?” he asked.
She didn’t answer.
“What’s wrong?”
“As if you didn’t know.” She turned and grabbed a handful of papers from the counter and thrust them at his chest. He reared back, unprepared for the venom in her words, and scanned the papers she’d all but thrown at his face.
He felt the blood drain from his face and sat down in the nearest chair.
Watkins’ report. Fuck. He’d forgotten all about sending out queries for investigating Morgan’s background. He should have called the investigator, told him to cancel his search. He’d been so wrapped up in Morgan he’d forgotten all about asking Watkins to investigate her.
“I can explain this,” he began.
“Don’t bother. I’m pretty damn smart and I can read. I know exactly what that is.”
“No, I don’t think you do.” He stood and stepped toward her. She stepped back.
Okay, explain first, touch her later. “Morgan, I asked for that report before I knew you, before I—“ Shit. He’d almost said “Before I fell in love with you.” Doubtful she’d believe that right now. He could hardly believe it himself.
“Before what? Before you manipulated me, used me, fucked me in more ways than one?”
“No, that’s not what I was going to say.” He had to tell her, had to make her understand that he would never hurt her.
She crossed her arms and smirked. “You know what? I don’t really care what you have to say. But you can listen to me. Pack your stuff and get out of my house. Now.”
No. It couldn’t end this way. He wouldn’t let it. He stood and reached out for her. “Morgan, let me explain.”
But she backed away and folded her arms across her middle. “Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me again. Pack. Get out. Now. I’ll be waiting in the cart. You can stay at the resort until the bus comes tomorrow to take you to airport.”
Tony inhaled and blew out a breath, hurt and frustrated that he couldn’t make her believe he hadn’t meant for this to happen. As he watched her closed expression, he knew no amount of arguing would help. He left to go pack, throwing on clothes and jamming his things into his bag. He didn’t have much so it didn’t take long. When he came out Morgan, true to her word, was waiting in the golf cart, refusing to even look at him.
They drove to the resort in silence. When she stopped in front and waited while he retrieved his bags, she said, “I already called ahead. There’s an available office for you to stay in until mid morning when the bus comes.”
“Fine.” He started to step out but then stopped and turned to her, ignoring the fact she wouldn’t even turn her head in his direction. “I’m sorry I asked Watkins to investigate you. I want you to know that nothing in that report will ever be printed.”
“Right.”
“It’s too bad you don’t trust me enough to believe in me. I thought we were way past that point in our relationship. I guess I was wrong.”
She hesitated for a second before saying, “We don’t have a relationship, and no, I don’t trust you. You’ve given me plenty of reason not to.”
Nothing he could say or do would convince her. He already knew that. “I’m sorry, Morgan. I’m…” Useless, he reminded himself. He stepped out of the cart and headed up the stairs to the lobby, refusing to turn around when he heard the cart drive away.
* * * * *
Morgan fought back tears that had threatened to fall for hours, determined that she’d shed not a single one for a man who would so callously hurt her as Tony did.
She’d thought she’d loved him. Loved him! What an idiot. Would she never learn that men were not to be trusted? That there was no such thing as the man of her dreams, or true love?
How could she have been such a lousy judge of character? Why couldn’t she see through people to the lies underneath? Was she so desperate for love and affection she’d been blind to Tony’s true nature? It just didn’t seem possible that he was that good an actor. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe she’d just seen what she wanted to see.
Either way, it was over, and once again she’d learned a very valuable lesson. She’d come to Paradise to live alone, so that men like him couldn’t hurt her. For the rest of her life she’d remember there was a reason she’d chosen a life of solitude.
Glancing at the fax on the corner of her desk, she chewed her lower lip, wondering why Tony had left it on her kitchen table, and what had possessed her to snatch it up and bring it here to work? Why hadn’t she given it back to him before he’d left?
Left. She glanced at the clock on the wall across from her desk. By now Tony should be back on the mainland, no doubt rushing to write his story and meet the deadline so he could dish the dirt on Morgan’s past for the world to see.
He’d make a fortune publishing that story in the tabloids. David Randall was a prominent New York lawyer. The scandal would be huge. And then David would come after her, to punish her, to make her pay for breaking their bargain.
She grabbed the fax and forced herself to read it again, clutching her stomach as the pain stabbed at her. When would the story hit? Tabloids were done weekly, and with a hot topic like this one it wouldn’t surprise her to see it in next week’s National Inquisitor.
She’d be ruined. Paradise would go down the tubes, no one would want to come here, and worst of all, David would find her and develop some way to torture her, even though he’d promised he wouldn’t.
David’s promises meant nothing. She’d been lucky to live in peace for the past three years. Once he found out where she was, she knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away. He owned her, he’d told her that often enough.
Dropping her head into her hands, she thought long and hard about what she could do, then an
idea hit. She picked up the phone and quickly dialed the number of the investigator listed on the fax cover sheet.
A sharp voice answered, “Watkins here.”
Morgan swallowed back her nervousness and said, “Delbert Watkins?”
“Yeah?”
She paused, then managed, “I need to speak with you about this fax you sent Tony Marino about me.”
“Who is this?”
Cringing at his angry tone, she replied, “Morgan Brown.”
Now it was his turn to pause. “I see. What can I do for you, Ms. Brown?”
“I want to know where you got the information you reported to Tony.”
“I don’t reveal my sources. Anyway, it doesn’t—“
“I don’t care whether you reveal them or not, “ she interrupted. “I want to know. There are facts in here that no one but my ex-husband and I know about.”
“Look, Ms. Brown,” he started, his voice now calmer and much more friendly, “You know I can’t reveal my sources. And anyway, as I was about to explain, I already got the word from Tony.”
“What word?”
“He called me in the middle of the damn night to tell me to shred the report, that he wasn’t going to use it. So your follow up call isn’t necessary. The data is history now.”
Morgan sat stunned, unable to speak. Her limbs shook and her throat went dry. Finally, she managed, “He what?”
“I thought you knew. He said to shred the documents. It’s all gone. Nothing will ever be reported about you. And you know damn well that as an investigator I can’t reveal any information unless my clients want me to. So you’re safe, Ms. Brown. Tony took care of that.”
“I see. Thank you,” she said quickly and hung up, not knowing what to make of that conversation.
She sat back in her chair and chewed her lower lip, her gaze repeatedly falling to the fax.
Tony had enough information on her and her past in that fax to write an entire book about her. Why wouldn’t he use it? She didn’t understand. Trying hard to recall their conversation last night, she seemed to remember he’d said he’d asked the investigator to dig into her background before he knew her, before he—
Something. But she’d cut him off and he never did finish his sentence. Before he what? Before he fell in love with her?
Ridiculous. Tony didn’t love her, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He’d made it perfectly clear he wasn’t interested in becoming emotionally involved with her. The idea that he’d somehow fallen in love with her was ludicrous.
As ludicrous as her falling in love with him had been? Oh God. She’d also said that love would never enter the picture, and look what had happened to her.
Did Tony love her? Correction. Had he loved her? Had he sacrificed a juicy story about her because of his feelings for her?
Her chest constricted and she fought for breath, realizing that she’d just made a huge mistake. A mistake that had cost her the man she loved.
He’d asked her to trust him, and she’d refused. He’d told her he wouldn’t hurt her, and she didn’t believe him. He’d done nothing to make her think he’d use that information, but her mind had been so poisoned by David that she’d refused to believe that a man could actually love her, that someone would really be honest with her.
Now what should she do? Try to find him and ask him to come back? Tell him how much she loved him and she didn’t mean the things she’d said. Despite her attempts at ignoring him completely, she’d heard the pain in his voice when she refused to listen to his explanations, she knew how much she’d hurt him.
What good would it do to get in touch with him? He was a traveler, and she was destined to spend the rest of her life on this island. They had two differing lifestyles and she wouldn’t ask him to give his up for her, nor would she even consider giving up this place she loved.
What a mess she’d made of things. She’d love to pass the blame to David for this, but she couldn’t. This was entirely her doing. Her inability to believe in Tony had taken away her last chance at love and happiness.
For the first time in over three years, she let the tears flow freely, no longer caring to hold them back.
Chapter Fourteen
There was no point sitting in a dark house and pouting. Morgan stood and paced her bedroom, unable to even settle in and sleep, despite the fact she hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours.
She missed Tony, missed his warmth, his laughter, the way he teased her, the gentle way he’d brought her back to life again. With an unearthly amount of patience he’d allowed her to explore her sexuality, giving her the freedom to set the pace and the rules, until she’d come back fully, able to explore all the sexual positions and acts she’d enjoyed before David had taken those freedoms away.
Would she ever recover? Would she ever forgive herself for letting someone like him go? Would she ever find another man like him?
She already knew the answer to all those questions—no, no and definitely no.
With a resigned sigh she threw on her robe and stepped onto the veranda, hoping the fragrant night air would calm her as it always had before.
No such luck. Pain still coursed through her. Pain of loss, of regret, of knowing she’d let the man of her dreams slip through her fingertips as if he had never mattered to her.
Maybe a swim and a soak in the hot tub would help alleviate the tension. She walked to the pool, not even bothering to turn on the lights except for the one inside the pool wall. It was pitch black outside, not even a shining moon to light her way. How appropriate, since her light had left the island yesterday.
Shedding her robe she stepped down, the warm water lapping at her legs, then kicked off with her feet and sliced through the water, stopping in the middle of the pool to float on her back.
She stared into the utter blackness above her, feeling as void of light as the sky overhead.
“Morgan.”
At the sound of a voice nearby, Morgan screamed in fright and righted herself, trying to make out the shape in the distance.
“Who…who’s there?” she stammered, her heart pounding with an adrenalin rush of fear.
“I remember watching you the first time you swam in this pool. I was so mesmerized by your beauty I couldn’t breathe.”
Was her mind playing tricks on her? She squinted, unable to see anything except a dark form at the end of the pool.
“Are you going to throw me out, or let me talk to you?”
Her heart soared along with hope as she asked, “Tony?”
He swam toward her until his face was silhouetted by the faint light of the pool.
“Are you really here?” she asked.
“I never left the island.”
“Why?”
“I couldn’t.”
“Why not?” She couldn’t believe he was actually here, talking to her. She wanted to reach out for him, but was afraid any movement would send him vanishing into the dark night.
“Because I didn’t get to explain, and it’s important to me that you understand what I did, and what I didn’t do.”
“I have something to tell you, too,” she said, swimming over toward him until their faces practically touched. She felt the warm swell of water over her belly as he treaded the water in front of her. “Follow me.”
She couldn’t blame him for the look of uncertainty on his face as he tentatively followed her to the shallow end, then stood in front of her. After all, she had thrown him out. Now it was up to her to make the first move, to let him know how she felt.
What if he hadn’t come back to declare his love? What if he just wanted to satisfy his ego so that he could leave with a free conscience?
Oh, why did she continue to doubt? When would she stop hesitating and take a chance?
She knew when. Right now. She leapt into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms circling his neck. Shock widened his eyes, but he twined his arms around her.
“I don’t know why you came back, and I don
’t care. First, I want you to know something.”
“Okay,” he answered, his breath a warm, sweet caress against her cheek.
“I made a mistake in not trusting you, in not believing you. I should have, and I’m sorry. I’d like to blame David for making me wary, but really it was me. I couldn’t believe you could care about me, that you wouldn’t hurt me like David had. Tony, I’m—“
He silenced her with his finger to her lips. “I couldn’t leave things between us like that. Not without you understanding why I did what I did, and what I didn’t do.”
His mouth hovered inches from hers. With every fiber of her being she wanted to press her lips against his, to reveal all that was in her heart. But she also sensed that he needed to speak first. “Go ahead.”
“The thought of leaving the island nearly killed me. I knew as soon as I got to the airport I couldn’t leave you. I can’t sleep without you, I can’t write without you, and I no longer want to live my life without you.”
Her ears buzzed and she felt dizzy as his words penetrated.
“I love you, Morgan. So much so that the thought of ever leaving you makes me ill. I swore it wouldn’t happen, but it did. And now that it did, I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust.”
She couldn’t believe what she heard. “You already have earned my trust, Tony, only I was too stupid yesterday to realize it. I know you’d never hurt me. I’m one hundred percent convinced of it.”
Then he did what she’d hoped he’d do. He leaned forward and kissed her, hard and with a passion she’d only dreamed existed. She tasted love on his lips, and it blended with her love for him. “I love you, Tony. With all my heart, and all my being, I love you.”
He crushed her against him and buried his head in her neck, holding her that way for minutes while neither of them spoke. When he pulled back, his eyes so full of warmth and love she could barely catch her breath, she whispered, “But what about your career? You travel for a living.”
He smiled. “Travel isn’t as appealing anymore. Not if I have you to be with. I can write from here. Maybe even write that book my agent’s been after me to write for years.”