“Did I remember everything?”
“Not right away. Just like tonight, you swore we’d never met but were very confused by the visions at the same time. My presence triggers the memories. It takes a few hours, but you remember us eventually.”
“But our time together, after you’d found me that second time, didn’t last.”
“No. The next morning, you were brushing your hair, talking about what we were going to do that day...when I transported. Something about our reunion initiates my leap.”
Despair crushed her, and she sighed. “How is this possible?”
“I don’t know. By God, I wish I did. We’ve been brought together and torn apart seven damn times, and every separation hurts more than the last.”
The pattern came together with an obvious and desolating conclusion. Each time they found one another, he was destined to leave her. By all accounts, they only had one night. Soon, he would travel to a different reality, and she would once again have to deal with the loss of her true love in this one. “There must be something we can do. This isn’t fair! If fate keeps bringing us together, then there’s hope, it has to mean something.”
He sat up, bringing her with him so they could face one another. “Of course it does. It means everything.”
“Hours are all we have? It’s not enough!”
“A lifetime isn’t enough, Moira.”
“How can you be so calm? So—accepting? It’s like you’ve given up.”
He cupped her face. “I haven’t given up. I never will! You are dearer to me than anything I’ve ever known. I spend every day of my life searching for you and for the answer to stop this cursed ride. I’ve tried it all. Science, black magic, metaphysics, voodoo pills, mediums, everything. I’ve jumped in more caves than I can remember. Sometimes I hear voices telling me I have to go back to where I started, but I can’t. The portal existed in my world alone.”
She grasped for other ways, refusing to believe Tanith came to her time and again without some mysterious force at work. “What about finding a way for me to go with you?”
He shook his head. “No matter how hard I hold you, it never works.”
Devastation crippling her, she pushed him away. “Then why bother looking for me when you know it’ll end like this?”
“Because even one day with you is worth the years apart.”
“What if we never see each other again? What if this is our last night together?”
“It can’t be.”
“You don’t know that for sure.” Grabbing the sheet, she pulled it up, wrapped it around her, and climbed off the bed. “I don’t want to go through this anymore, Tanith. How can we change our fate?”
He had no answer for that question.
“Maybe it would’ve been better if you’d never found me at all.”
“Moira, don’t.”
She whipped around, seeing the hurt she’d inflicted written on his face. “I have to say it! If we’d never met tonight, my memories would’ve never returned. I wouldn’t feel like someone is twisting a knife in my heart.” Then again, if he’d left her alone, she’d never have known their love. The power of it. How alive she felt at the nearness of him, like every dream she’d ever had could come true. Perhaps it was better to love and lose as they say, but not with the same man over and over, like some kind of beautiful nightmare. Her throat tight, she said, “You should go.”
He rose from the bed. “Please don’t push me away. I need you, for as long as I can have you.”
“But I don’t need this misery. Knowing you’ll disappear at any minute!” She began picking up and tossing his clothes at him piece by piece. He didn’t bother to catch them. “Don’t look at me like that. Just go now. Please, Tanith.”
The color drained from his face, and his jaw clenched. “Sweetheart, stop this. Don’t make me go. I’m begging you.”
Her voice came out strained and foreign. “And I’m begging you to leave me, on your own. For once.”
When she saw the plea and raw pain in his eyes, she turned away. She didn’t know what she was doing, except hurting the man she loved. But what was worse? Being with him knowing he’d be taken from her by some invisible force or making him leave now so she had some sense of control?
“Whatever you want,” he said, voice resigned.
As he began to dress, she sat on the bed, stifling the urge to scream, the silence deafening.
She heard the bedroom door open, then shut with a quiet click.
As the tears flowed, her soul shredding with every second, she felt a shot through the heart, then a strange numbness.
It was early morning, still dark. They’d been together for less than six hours, but the time spent would be burned inside her for the rest of her life. Would she be haunted with all those memories until the day she died? In a twisted way, she hoped so. She didn’t want to forget him. Ever.
However, along with the memory of Tanith accompanied the torment of losing him.
Except, she hadn’t lost him, she’d made him go. He’d spent years searching for her, even though he knew doing so would result in another leap. And yet, it hadn’t stopped him. If he’d truly given up, as she’d accused, Tanith never would’ve tracked her down at all.
But he had.
He could’ve told himself to forget her, and start a new life with someone else.
But he hadn’t.
Because he’d sacrifice a life without me for one night with me. Oh God, what have I done?
Rushing from the bedroom, she prayed he hadn’t gone far.
He’d just reached the suite’s front door when she called out his name.
He stopped, head hanging, then turned around, and opened his arms. She ran to him with such force, it knocked him into the door.
“Forgive me,” she choked out. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. I’m just scared.”
He pulled back. “Don’t be. Shh, it’s all right. I’d do anything—do you hear me? Absolutely anything to spare you from a moment of unhappiness. I’m a selfish bastard, Moira. Making you go through this with me.”
The knowledge she hurt him when they still had time left compounded her guilt. “No, you must always find me. I’ll do it as many times as it takes! I didn’t know what I was saying—”
He covered her lips with his finger. “I’m still here.”
Running her hands through his hair, down his smooth face, needing to feel him, she nodded. “And I want to spend every minute we have left together.”
With a groan, he kissed her. The extraordinary tingle that accompanied every touch of his lips to hers raced from her throat to her toes, melting her nerves along the way.
She dropped the sheet and arched into him, and he trailed his hot mouth along her neck. “Make love to me, Tanith.”
He carried her to the bedroom, his eyes alight like green fire.
The first time was tender, emotional, filled with sighs and slow hands. Moira wasn’t sure who was more insatiable. They changed positions often. She was on top, riding him until her bones melted and her eyes rolled back, moaning out orgasm after orgasm. After she collapsed, breathless, on his chest, he switched to the dominant position, thrusting into her with slow strokes until he moaned her name.
The second time they made love was more carnal, raw, complete with sweat and a few tears. Wrapping her hair around his hand, he plunged inside her from behind. He cupped her breast and strummed her pussy while whispering ragged words of how he worshiped her, and wanted to hear her come with him. And she did.
Despite Moira’s efforts to stay awake, she succumbed to sleep on his chest.
The dream came almost as soon as she shut her eyes.
She stood in a void of nowhere with thick fog around her feet. She sensed another presence in the empty space with her, but saw no one. Then, laughter. Her own, far in the distance, mingled with Tanith’s deep and soothing voice beyond. Moira closed then opened her eyes to see herself standing in the middle of a phantom-like carousel,
scenes of her and Tanith together revolving around her.
“You have beautiful memories.” A woman spoke behind her.
Moira didn’t move, unable to tear her eyes away from the replay of her and Tanith. “I do.”
A stretch of silence. “He loves you.”
Moira shook, tears filling her eyes. “Yes. Oh, yes he does.”
“I hope you know how rare it is to find a love like his, Moira.”
She shook her head, searching around for a face to the voice.
Moira opened her mouth to ask who spoke, but the voice cut her off. “Despite what you think, Tanith isn’t cursed.”
Not cursed? Although good to know, the fact didn’t reveal much. “Then what is it?”
“When he walked inside the cave that day, his universal energy intertwined with the portal’s. The spirits, and their power carry him from place to place.”
“But why does it want to keep us apart? Why is it every time he finds me, he leaps? I need to know.”
“The forces that hold him believe he has a purpose. The things he’s done, Moira, have made other worlds better places. Even in the smallest of ways. I wish I could explain further, but we don’t have much time. He’ll have to tell you all those things himself.”
Though Moira wanted to be resentful, she couldn’t. Tanith had been taken away from her over and over because he was needed. “I understand.”
“Yes. But what’s more important is how I can help. If you listen carefully, and do what I instruct. You and Tanith can be together.”
Chapter Five
Tanith woke up to a noise and sprang up.
Thank God I didn’t transfer in my sleep.
Moira wasn’t beside him. Frowning, he dressed in haste and left the bedroom. He would’ve preferred waking up next to her, making love again, but maybe she had something else in mind. A sudden jab in his stomach made him flinch. The end of his time here was fast approaching. A glance outside, and he saw the sun had just begun its ascent. Damn. It could happen any minute. Any second.
Coming into the living room, he found Moira just as she hung up the phone. She seemed to be in a rush, already wearing her jacket and shoes. “Good. You’re awake.”
He cringed, pressing a hand to his temple. “How long have you been up? I can feel it, Moira. It’s happening.”
Her dark blue eyes widened, and she reached for his hands. “Darling, listen to me. I know how we can be together. I saw the answer in my dream last night.”
In a dream? His heart and soul dared not to hope. “How? Moira, tell me.”
She gave him a helpless look. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I just can’t, trust me. We don’t have time,” she said, eyes shining with tears. “I know everything now. It starts with me and...and ends with you.”
He shook his head, confused. “I don’t know what that means.”
She smiled up at him even while tears streamed down her face. “I believe you will.”
“Moira—” He hauled her in his arms, scared out of his mind.
She pulled back and covered his mouth with her fingertips. “Close your eyes. You have to wait until I leave.”
Though he hadn’t a clue what she was doing, how she’d solved the mystery, he obeyed her command. She slipped out of his embrace and he groaned in protest, hearing her take quiet, careful steps away from him. Blind, he reached out for her. Anxiety slashed at his sanity. “Wait! Don’t go. I don’t know what to do. Moira!”
“Yes, you do. Just go back to the beginning,” she told him with a quivering voice.
Powerlessness overwhelmed him. “I can’t!” he roared.
“You can.” He heard the turn of a doorknob. “I trust you. I love you. And I know you’ll find me again.”
“Moira!”
The door shut and he opened his eyes.
For God knew how long, he stood there heaving for breath, unmoving and staring at the door. With her words echoing in his head, and him trying to assemble the answer in time, he scrambled back to the bedroom for his coat and wallet. Not that either mattered once he transported.
Minutes later he pushed through the hotel’s revolving door, running a hand through his disheveled hair, searching right, then left. Which way should he go? The awareness he could vanish at any second buzzed behind his eyes, but it hadn’t happened yet, and until it did, he wouldn’t worry about it.
He turned right.
Just because that’s what his gut told him to do.
Moira...where should I go?
He strode down the sidewalk like a man with purpose, even though he was essentially aimless.
Destiny would have to take over.
Like the first time they met.
That day, he hadn’t been searching for true love, not at all, but fate had led him to Moira anyway. Every step he had taken up to that point had led him straight to her. Now he prayed that every step he took now would do the same. When he’d boarded that train all those years ago, he had no idea his life would change in one night. Even discovering the portal paled in comparison to finding her.
He stopped dead in his tracks. “Oh my God.”
I boarded the train. My life was altered forever.
The answer hit him. Hard. And what for years had appeared so impossible to solve, now seemed so simple. He started to run, then broke into a full sprint.
How come I never thought of this before?
***
“Ladies and gentleman, we will be departing in five minutes.”
Gazing out the window, Moira leaned her head on the foggy glass. She had seen it the answer in her dream. To break the cycle, they had to go full circle.
Back to the beginning.
But she couldn’t tell Tanith the details. Doing so could destroy the fragile opportunity they had. If it was meant to be, their plan would fall into place.
She and Tanith would have to believe fate would once more lead him to her...before the forces took him away.
Her heart thundered in panic, but she refused to give up hope.
She’d paid for passage to La Rochelle, France, thinking it didn’t matter which train she chose. She knew a woman who owned a small inn there, where she could stay at her leisure. She’d reserved her favorite room, and the owner promised it would be ready by the time she arrived. She favored the room for its simplicity, its romantic, soothing hues and tones of deep rose and gold. It also had a wonderful view of a garden below, the smell of jasmine drifting in at night. The perfect escape.
As passengers shuffled by to take their seats, she allowed herself to fantasize. Tanith making love to her on the floor on a pile of down blankets, the breeze of a spring night drifting over their bodies. That would be heaven....
He might not even be in this world anymore. He could be long gone.
The impact of such a devastating thought would’ve brought her to her knees if she hadn’t already been sitting, and she refused to let the tears free. Once they began, they wouldn’t stop.
The train started to move forward.
He’s gone. He didn’t find in her time!
She closed her eyes, and slumped in her chair, hoping sleep would claim her during the long train ride. Wishing her beloved would come to love her in her dreams. The only place where she would be with him now.
Then, a male voice disturbed her solitude. “Tell me one thing.”
She gasped and opened her eyes, unable to comprehend what she’d heard.
Standing just a few feet away from her was Tanith. She remained seated, heart pounding, fearing this was a daydream, and if he was really there, he’d vanish the moment they touched.
He took both of her hands and pulled her up, smiling.
She shook her head in stunned disbelief. No. I must be dreaming. I’m already asleep on the train, I’ll wake up any second. Staring into his eyes, feeling his warmth, smelling his unique masculine scent, she dismissed her skepticism. He was real. With a breathless laugh, she finally found h
er voice, and answered with the same words she’d spoken when they first met. “I...I’d rather be alone.”
A smile curved his mouth. “No. You wouldn’t.” Gazing at her as if she were the most precious thing created, he wrapped his arms around her waist, brushing his lips over hers.
She kissed him with passion, trying to show him a fraction of the happiness exploding inside. When they broke to take a breath, she asked, “How did you know?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t. I just followed my instincts.”
She cast her eyes down. “I’m afraid, Tanith. That this won’t last. What if I wake up in the morning and you’re not there?”
He hooked a finger under her chin. “Moira, it’s over. I can’t explain it, but I feel it. I feel free from—whatever it was that made me leap. It’s gone. I’ll never leave your side again. I can make this promise to you now.”
She nodded, a bit of apprehension still lingering. Locking her arms around his middle, she pressed her cheek against his chest, not daring to let go.
“Excusez-moi.”
They turned their heads at the interruption. An older gentleman smiled at them holding a bottle of champagne and two glasses.
An unexpected luxury. To be polite, they sat down to accept the gift, though neither knew who had arranged the offer or for what reason. In French, the server explained it had been paid for in advance. The man then handed Tanith an envelope.
When Moira asked for their benefactor’s name, the man shrugged, and shuffled away. “What does it say?”
Skimming over the message, he grinned. “Says To Tanith and Moira, an early wedding gift. I hear this particular brand pairs well with strawberries and dancing. All the best, Madame Eve.”
Moira grinned, amazed. Eve. “Can you explain this?”
He folded the card back in the envelope, and with that irresistible grin, took her hand in his. “I have so much to tell you, I don’t know where to begin.”
Endless Affair (A 1 Night Stand Story) Page 4