by Diana Kane
I sigh as I turn toward the elevator, I know Catherine is right on all fronts, even Mateo told me I wouldn't be able to stop her. Hadn’t I had the thought myself that Isabella was a woman that takes what she wants? The elevator chimes its arrival, and we enter to head down to the basement, the doors closing but not ending our conversation.
“You know that no matter which choice you make you’re being selfish right?” I feel my eyebrows knit together as I glare at Catherine like she has lost her mind. “You tell her no so that she isn’t away from her family, insulating yourself from your fear that she’ll resent you someday if she’s not on their doorstep the second something happens. You tell her yes, and you’ll be happy. So will she. Sara, there are few opportunities in life to actually seize something that has the potential to increase your happiness for years to come. Don’t waste time denying something you both want.”
“You’ve been talking to her, haven’t you?” I ask as the doors open, depositing us in the OR.
“Alex and I have video chatted with her, yes. She isn’t faring much better than you are I’m afraid, although I’m sure you both put on a good front when you chat.” Catherine’s revelation is like an icepick to my heart. I can deal with my emotions, but knowing Isabella isn’t handling this well has my stomaching suddenly rolling. “Are you alright? You’ve suddenly gone a bit pale.”
“I’m fine,” I lie, able to taste the bile laden coffee in the back of my throat.
“You’ll see her soon. Only two days before she’ll be here.” I nod, too afraid that if I try to speak my coffee won’t stay down. Catherine gives me a quick hug before heading to her OR, leaving me to deal with an unappealing image of a dejected Isabella struggling to get through her day.
*****
Pre-op pages me as I’m on my way to the hospital. I call the number as I wait at a red light, knowing that whatever they’re about to tell me, it likely won’t make me happy. I shake my head in disbelief when they inform me that my first patient experienced car trouble and will be there as soon as possible. I’m fully irritated at this point. Isabella’s plane is set to arrive at just after 2 pm today. With this delay, there’s no way I’ll be able to pick her up from the airport. The pre-op nurse assures me they will fast track my patient as soon as she arrives. I thank them before hanging up and trying to sort out what to do about Isabella. I honestly could just cancel the case, but it isn’t something I would do on any other day, and this patient is always early, so I know that the car trouble isn’t just an excuse.
Knowing I have plenty of time, I pull into the coffee shop and order my next coffee fix. I call Catherine, but she informs me that both she and Alex will be at the hospital today. I already know that Valerie also has cases this morning too. Katrina has a key to my place but she and I are just starting to reconnect and placing Isabella in a car with her is not a hornet’s nest I desire to kick. I decide my best remaining option is to send Abby, despite the fact that sending her on this errand will take her out of the OR for at least an hour, meaning even more time lost. I dial Abby’s number and let her know about the issue and ask if she would mind picking up Isabella. Abby assures me she doesn’t mind but says that Blake is free for the day and he would probably help me out. We disconnect our call, and I wait impatiently for Abby to text me to let me know the plan. Her message comes in a few minutes later, letting me know she is meeting Blake to give him my house key and that he will take care of it. I sigh, partially relieved that at least that problem is solved.
“Hey gorgeous,” Isabella purrs when she connects the chat. “What’s wrong?” she asks as her smile slips from her face.
“Nothing major. My first patient had car trouble, so I’m delayed. I’m not going to be able to pick you up at the airport. Blake will be there though and will take you to the house.”
“It’s alright Sara. I’ll be there when you get home. How late do you think you’ll be?” I can see the disappointment in Isabella’s eyes, along with the dark circles around them. Catherine wasn’t exaggerating, Isabella hasn’t been doing much better than I have.
“I’m really hoping to be home by four. I’m sorry.”
“It isn’t your fault. My flight is boarding. I’ll see you when you get home. Love you.”
“Love you too. See you then.”
*****
“Dr. Hudson, you aren’t going to believe this,” Brittney, my nurse for the day calls over to me. I stop suturing and look over at her as she holds the phone against her shoulder.
“What is it?” I ask, barely able to contain the irritation in my voice.
“Apparently our next patient is in pre-op, sharing a soda with her husband.” I momentarily close my eyes thinking about the blatant stupidity of some people when it dawns on me, anesthesia will cancel the case and I should be out in time to pick Isabella up from the airport. A glance at the clock confirms this, banishing all of my remaining annoyance.
“Ok. Just have the pre-op nurse inform her she needs to call the office to reschedule her procedure. Thanks, Brittney.” I glance at the clock again, 12:32 and we’re almost closed. I should be able to get out of here and to the airport with a few minutes to spare.
“I can finish running the 4-0 and do orders if you want to dictate and speak with the family,” Abby offers. I foolishly smile at her, despite wearing a mask.
“Thanks Abby, what would I do without you?” Abby nods as she comes around the table to take over for me. “Thanks everyone for your hard work today. I appreciate it.” I break scrub and debrief with the nurse before heading to the dictation room to hasten my exit from the hospital.
*****
“Excuse me, I’m looking for a woman name Torres,” I call from behind Isabella. The large bouquet of flowers coupled with leaning against the wall a few feet down from the exit somehow made for a perfect cover. Likely that and the fact that she was looking for Blake. I giggle when I see her confused expression as she turns around, a huge smile blossoming on her lips as I lower the bouquet and reveal myself.
“What are you doing here?” she asks as she quickly closes the distance between us. I barely have a chance to move the flowers to the side before she is crushing me in her arms, her nose buried in my hair as she takes a deep breath. “I’ve missed you so much,” she murmurs against my ear, the warmth of her embrace welcome in the cold December air.
“I’ve missed you too,” I inform her before leaning back far enough to kiss her.
“Are those for me?” she asks when we finally separate.
“Nope, they’re for the other girlfriend I’m picking up.”
“There better not be another girlfriend,” Isabella scowls. I suddenly remember too late what she went through with her ex and immediately feel like an ass.
“I’m sorry. I promise you there isn’t anyone else. Of course, these are for you,” I assure her. “Trade you.” She smiles at me as she passes me her suitcase before taking the bouquet.
“These are beautiful,” she whispers as she takes in the arrangement of orchids, lilies, and irises. I know nothing about flowers, I’ve actually never bought flowers for a woman before. I ran into the shop with only 20 minutes to spare, told the florist what I needed them for and that I’d rather not have roses because they seem so generic. She smiled and assured me she could throw just the thing together quickly. Gauging Isabella’s reaction, she did well.
“You’re beautiful,” I remind her. “Can we please get in the car though? No matter how long I live here I’ll never get used to the cold weather.” Isabella laughs before clasping my free hand and allowing me to lead her to the car. “Did you have a chance to grab something for lunch?”
“No. I guess you haven’t eaten either,” she gives me a disapproving look from over the roof of the car as I place her suitcase in the back seat.
“I didn’t,” I inform her as we settle in our seats and close the doors. “It was a stroke of luck that I was even able to come get you, that or a stroke of stupidity.”
&n
bsp; “You mean you really weren’t coming to pick me up?” she asks giving me a confused look.
“I wasn’t, right up until my last patient decided to split a soda with her husband in pre-op. Anesthesia canceled the case.”
“I’m sorry about your case,” Isabella says, smirking at me.
“No you’re not, and neither am I,” I inform her, leaning over to steal a kiss. “Want to stop somewhere for lunch?” I ask as we rest our foreheads against one another.
“Not really, but we probably should. Are there any good Thai places around here? I’ve had a craving lately.”
“Absolutely,” I inform her before stealing a quick kiss and leading us away from the airport.
Chapter 30
I wake up just after 4:30 am on Saturday morning, brimming with energy. Isabella still slumbers beside me, unaware of my growing restlessness. I quietly slide out of bed and put on a pair of shorts and a shirt in the dark before slipping downstairs for a run. It doesn’t take me long to realize that the lethargic dead weight I’ve been shouldering these last two weeks is gone, the only difference between yesterday and today being Isabella’s presence. I run as I contemplate this simple fact, realizing that to continue on as we are would mean dealing with the emotional peaks and valleys of being together and being apart. Given the last two weeks, I feel certain that the emotional rollercoaster isn’t one I can continue to ride. By the end of my workout, I’ve come to the conclusion that we only have two real options. Either we end things or Isabella moves here. Ending things isn’t on my radar, nor do I think I could do it or that it would help. I would still know Isabella is out there, would still love her and would only be swallowed by a pit of depression I’m not sure I could climb back out of. I have to say yes, I realize as the hot water of the shower cleanses the workout induced sweat from my body. Hypotheticals can no longer control my happiness. I must take this leap and deal with the consequences.
“You smell like soap,” Isabella murmurs when she nestles against me after I fail to stealthily slip back into bed.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a run,” I whisper before kissing the top of her head. “Go back to sleep.”
“You ok?” Isabella mutters, already halfway back to being out cold.
“Yes,” I whisper before angling my head to press a soft kiss to hers. She releases a soft sound of contentment, her breathing already having leveled back out. I revel in the comfort of holding her in my arms as she slumbers, yet my mind refuses to rest. Does my emotional state relying on proximity to her make me some kind of co-dependent? I was fine before Isabella came into my life, I tell myself. Ok, I wasn’t fine, I quickly amend. I know I was pushing myself way too hard, devoting at least 90% of myself to work and leaving little for anything else. I was physically drained, emotionally stagnant, and incapable of dealing with the slightest addition of stress in any form. I know with certainty that Katrina was the catalyst I needed to make me realize I was not on a sustainable path. Isabella is the one that pushes me to be better. I’m also certain that if I had not met Isabella, I would have simply reverted back to my old habits upon my return from Punta Cana. The fact that my stubbornness willing yields, allowing me to make alterations for Isabella that I’ve never considered making for anyone else, reinforces what I already know, Isabella is the one. I can no longer tell her no, my answer is finally yes.
I come to sometime later and quickly realize that Isabella is no longer pressed against me. I hear the soft sound of her sketching and know she is near. Opening my eyes, I ignore the urge to stretch and locate her sitting on the foot of the bed, working away.
“You were smiling in your sleep,” she informs me, never halting the steady movements of her hand.
“Must be because you’re here,” I whisper, forcing myself not to reach for her. Even if she just started, I know the sketch won’t take her long. I watch her work, feeling contentment and love coursing through me.
“Done,” she says as she drops the pad and pencils to the floor then rejoins me under the sheets, kissing me good morning before settling in.
“Will you ever tire of sketching me?”
“I don’t think I will. There’s always something different. Today you were smiling.” She flashes me her grin before giving me a quick kiss. “They’re like my photographs. Do you want me to stop?” she asks, her brow slightly furrowed.
“Never,” I reassure her, pulling her against me.
*****
I’m finishing wrapping things up on Tuesday when Valerie taps on my door. “Hey, come on in,” I call out as I power down my computer and put my tablet on the charger.
“I thought you’d be running out of here as fast as your legs will carry you,” Valerie jokes as she deposits herself in one of the chairs in front of my desk.
“Alex had the day off and invited Isabella to hang out with her for the day. Something about Christmas shopping or whatever they’re getting up to.” I shrug, vaguely remembering their conversation at brunch on Sunday and clearly remembering encouraging Isabella to join her.
“So what are you getting Isabella?”
“Shit,” I mutter, shaking my head. “I’ve been so focused on other things I haven’t even thought about it.”
“Everything alright?” Valerie asks, concern written on her face.
“Everything is fine. Just had a few epiphanies recently and I’m working on addressing them.” Valerie shoots me a look, I’m not the only one who realizes I’m being incredibly vague.
“Ok. Well, you still have time to figure out the perfect gift,” she reminds me, mercifully giving me a pass on diving deeper into what I’m not telling her. It isn’t that I don’t want my friends to know, I just feel Isabella and I should talk first.
“Thanks. What about you? How are things?”
“Good. Things are starting to pick up nicely. That was actually part of the reason I stopped in?”
“Oh?”
“I was wondering what your thoughts were about trying to find another Abby. It doesn’t seem like you’ve really cut back that much and I keep finding myself increasingly booked.”
“I haven’t cut back too much. Seems like we still have plenty of work to keep the two of us busy for the foreseeable future. I would like to drop a day or even a half day somewhere once Isabella moves here—.” I stop myself by slapping my hand over my mouth when I realize the mistake that I’ve made while distracted thinking about gifts. Valerie’s eyebrows shoot skyward, and she dons a giant grin. “I haven’t spoken to her about it yet, please don’t repeat that.”
“I won’t. I wondered if that was what your “epiphany” was,” she informs me, making air quotes when necessary. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. Back to you hiring a PA, I think it’s a good idea. Abby is increasingly busy in the cosmetic clinic as well, so perhaps you can find someone who has the training to help her there too. I don’t think the other partners will be hard to convince, especially if the applicant possesses those skills. That clinic makes us a lot of money.”
“I’m well aware. Do you think Abby would know of anyone?”
“She might. If she doesn’t off the top of her head, she does have a lot of contacts and goes to a few conferences a year. She might make a good headhunter. Plus, if we’re going to have them working side by side in the clinic we’ll need to hire someone that she’ll get along with.”
“Is there anyone she can’t work with?”
“Not that I know of. The choice would ultimately be yours, but it may be wise to seek her input.”
“I agree,” she tells me as she rises from her seat. “I’ll let you get going, I’m sure you’re anxious to get home.”
“Thanks. I’m sure they’re still out and about. Just mention it to the other partners. I don’t think you’ll meet any resistance.”
“Will do. Good luck with your other thing,” she calls as she steps out of my office. I quickly glance at the time and realize it’s early enough that I have time to make a
quick stop on the way home.
*****
I arrive home, grateful that Isabella is still out with Alex. I sent a message asking Alex to drag her feet for a while, buying myself time. I make the few trips from the garage up to my office, or the room that was always intended to be my office, yet still stands empty. The sales woman at the art supply store remembered me from my first trip there. She seemed surprised when I asked for help with the top of the line painting supplies, but was happy to assist me with everything. As with the pencils and sketchpad, she assured me that she would exchange any of the unopened items if they weren’t what Isabella was looking for. I quickly organize all of the supplies and make a few adjustments, trying to arrange things I know nothing about into a perfect display.
“Sara are you home?” I hear Isabella call from the entryway. I quickly dash out of the room and close the door before she turns the corner.