“What about your parents? Are they here?”
He shook his head. “I've been told I was an orphan that the people here took in. That's all I know.”
“Did anyone ever adopt you?”
He shook his head again. “Slaves aren't adopted, we're here simply to work.” He looked at her, then said regretfully, “I'd better go. We're out of time.”
She felt something inside of her sink. “Okay.” As he turned to go, she called him back. “Ben? Will I ever get out of here?”
She thought he smiled at her, but, if he did, she could tell it was forced. “Sure you will. They won't keep you here forever.” He waved briefly to her, then trotted off down the hall. Integrity stood by the door for some time, not wanting it to end. Dejectedly, she picked up her bowl and began to eat. Even the fresh cheese, still cool, couldn't raise her spirits.
Đ
Ben was horrified at what he saw. The girl in the cell couldn't stand upright and could hardly shuffle to the door. “What happened?” He grasped the bars in the door with one hand.
Integrity shrugged, keeping her face averted. “Glegnar. He was mad anyway, then he found the brush...”
“Wait, wait, he came in there? Why?”
She kept an arm coiled protectively across her ribs. “I don't know. He was just mad. He came and opened the door and started pushing up on me. Then he saw the brush.” Her voice cracked, and she stopped.
Integrity could see that Ben was fighting to control himself. She hadn't dared come near the door at all, at first, and even now she stood only halfway across the room, keeping herself in the shadows. She wouldn't have come that far if Ben hadn't kept calling her name, the concern in his voice growing each time. When he'd started tugging fruitlessly on the door, she'd made her first movement.
“Are you okay? How bad did he hurt you?”
Hot tears sprang unbidden to her eyes. She hadn't cried even after Glegnar had finished beating her, but the compassion she heard in Ben's voice seemed to break a wall inside her that she didn't even know she had erected. She tried desperately to control herself, but a sharp intake of breath betrayed her.
“Integrity, come here.” His voice was gentle, more of a plea than a command. She found herself shuffling forward, her vision obscured by her tears. Her crying shook her body, sending stabbing pain shooting down her ribcage. She stopped near the door, her head and body bent over. “Look at me.” Integrity heard something odd in his voice, what she thought might be fear. She forced herself to stand straighter, despite the pain, and raise her face. She was glad she'd kept her gaze averted when she heard his sharp intake of breath. Her job done, she dropped her cheek to her shoulder, her hair swinging forward to hide her face.
She wanted to tell him that it wasn't so bad, that she hardly hurt at all, but the emotions she felt were pouring forth too quickly to be stemmed. Her fear, anger, and pain all washed together in the torrent, intermixed and inseparable. She leaned her weight against the door, feeling Ben's silence wrap around her. Then she felt the tips of his fingers gently touch her head. The tears broke anew, wracking her body in sobs. It had been so long since someone had touched her with anything but malice or hate, she'd forgotten what it was like to have someone simply be there for her.
He murmured comforting things to her as she cried herself out, none of which she would remember later. He never told her to stop or get control of herself; he simply allowed her to cry until she was numb.
After a time, she straightened and ran a hand across her cheeks, feeling the dried tears there. When Ben asked if she was okay, she nodded, gazing blankly at the handle of the door. If she'd had the energy to be ashamed by her outburst, she would have been. As it was, she felt immensely tired and utterly drained. She looked up when Ben spoke her name.
“I'm going to get you out of here. As soon as I can. I promise.”
Integrity nodded dumbly, turned, and shuffled back into the darkness. There was no movement from within, even after Ben slipped her meal through the slot. Eventually, he walked quietly away.
Đ
Just when Integrity was starting to wonder if she'd be fed in the near future, Ben returned. Without waiting to make sure she was awake, he blurted, “We're getting you out of here.” His head bent, and she heard the sound of a key scraping into the lock. The tumbler fell back with a click.
She stood, then winced and raised her hands to shield her eyes when the door opened. The light from the hallway poured into the room, lighting corners she had never gotten a good look at before. Her eyes adjusted, and she looked to Ben. He was smiling, waving her out of the cell.
Her pain was less noticeable in the thrill of the moment. She walked into the hallway, looking all around. She could see doors in either direction lining the hall, similar to the one she had just walked through She stepped to one side and Ben closed her door, relocking it with a large, old fashioned key. He slid it into a pocket of his dark trousers. “This way.” They walked side by side down the corridor.
Integrity glanced at every door they passed, finally asking, “Isn't there anyone else here? I haven't heard anyone.”
Ben shook his head. “You're the only one I know of, at least in this section.”
She could feel the heat from the torches wash across her skin, almost searing her after being cold for so long. Looking at the torches left colored orbs dancing in her sight, obscuring her ability to notice detail. They came to a large metal door, blocking their progress. Ben stopped and looked at her.
“After this, we need to be quiet. If anyone sees us, this whole thing's blown. Walk quietly and talk only if you absolutely have to.” Integrity nodded, Ben removed the key from his pocket and unlocked the door.
The corridor on the opposite side was much the same as the one they had just left, except it slanted upward at a noticeable angle. Ben quietly shut and locked the door behind them, gestured for her to be quiet, and led the way cautiously ahead.
Her muscles tense, ears strained for any noise, Integrity followed. What if someone came down here? There was nowhere to hide, no doors, no hallways branching off—no place to hide. She started praying in her head, over and over, Please help us, please help us.
The pair came to another door, this one nondescript wood. Ben didn't require the key this time, but he did wait a moment, ear pressed to the door. Seemingly satisfied, he gestured for her to follow him and opened the door slowly.
They found themselves in a small alcove with several identical wooden doors leading off in different directions. Ben took a deep breath, grabbed her hand, and led on. Integrity couldn't quite ignore the jerk her heart gave when he grasped her hand in his. When she stumbled slightly, she forced herself to concentrate on the task at hand. She didn't even want to think about what would happen if someone found them.
The hallways here were like night and day compared to what she was used to. Dark hardwood floors gleamed on either side of tasteful runners laid down the walkways. Candelabras and lit chandeliers provided a soft, inviting light. Occasionally they passed intricately carved wooden furniture or mirrors, placed tastefully at sporadic intervals. The many turns Ben took confused the girl, her situation made worse since every hallway seemed identical to the last. The moldings were exquisite, the upholstery tasteful. An air of quiet opulence surrounded her, making her feel safe and yet out-of-place at the same time. After all, if they murdered me here, they'd stain the carpet, she though dryly.
As they covered the distance, unmolested, her strength began to fail her. Though she tried to smother the sound, her breathing became labored. The muscles in her legs, hips, and lower back burned, ached. It felt as though, with every step, someone were stabbing her between the ribs. Ben, noticing her strain, asked quietly if she was okay. She nodded mutely and they continued, though slower. If her hand hadn't been clasped in his, she wasn't sure she would have been able to continue at all.
At each corner the pair would halt while Ben made sure the coast was clear. These respites, once
welcome, now made it even harder for her to get going once more. Occasionally Ben would quietly encourage her, telling her they were nearly there or that she was doing well. Integrity no longer worried about being caught; her mind was occupied with keeping her body in motion despite every urge to stop. She knew her stay in the prison cell had atrophied her muscles, but she wondered if this castle had any limits to it at all.
She barely registered that they had stopped at a door before Ben guided her through and sat her in a chair inside. She watched him walk back across the room and lock the door they had just come through. He then went through another doorway, revealing a small slice of a bathroom. He returned with a cup full of cool water that he handed to her. Then he sat on the edge of a nearby bed.
Her head reeling, Integrity looked at her surroundings while taking small sips of the wonderfully sweet, fresh water. The room had white walls and beige carpet. To one side of the bed was the upholstered arm chair that she sat in; on the other were drapes covering a window. She saw a nice dresser made of light-hued wood.
“Are you okay now?” Ben asked. She looked at him and gave a weak smile in reassurance. “Well, this is it.” He gestured at the room expansively. He pointed at the ceiling and she noticed the light fixture there. “There's electricity in this wing; feel free to have as many lights on as you want, whenever you want—the curtains are thick enough that people outside can't tell whether or not the lights are on. Keep the curtains closed, though; as far as anyone knows, this room is empty. We don't need any questions.”
“What if someone comes?”
“Don't worry. No one ever comes here. The freaks here seem to think electricity is dirty. No one even lives in this new section.”
She set the cup down on the nightstand by the chair. “Why did they put electricity here if no one likes it? And why don't they like it? Are they Amish?”
Ben laughed. “Amish they are most definitely not. I guess when they decided to add on they threw the electricity in just in case someone wanted it.”
“Most people don't? Why not?”
Ben shrugged. “They're weird, what can I say?” He walked over to the dresser and opened a drawer. “There's canned food, plates, bowls, that kind of stuff in here. There are clothes in the closet and a microwave in the bathroom.” He gave a sheepish grin. “I didn't know where else to put it. You can move stuff around all you want.”
“Are you leaving?” Panic gripped Integrity. What if someone came? What if they found her?
Ben walked back to her and squatted in front of her. “I have to go. They'll miss me. But don't worry, you'll be safe here. Just keep the curtains closed and don't open the door for anyone. I have a key, but I'll knock before I come in. Whatever you do, don't open the door.” Integrity nodded mutely, feelings of panic washing over her. She felt as though she couldn't breath when she thought of him leaving her in this strange place, but she knew it was necessary for the safety of them both. He'd already risked so much for her, how could she ask him to risk more? “I'll come visit you as soon as I can, but it won't be for a few days; don't want to draw suspicion. If you come up with anything you want or need, just tell me and I'll get it for you, okay?”
“Why are you doing this?” She was shocked that she'd dared to ask him such a question, that she dared to speak to him at all, but pressed forward once she had. “Why risk your own neck for me? You could get in just as much trouble as I could.”
Ben shrugged and looked at the floor. “No one deserves to be caged up like an animal. Least of all someone like you.”
She wanted desperately to ask him what he meant by “someone like her”, but lost the nerve. She watched him turn and leave the room, then listened for the click of the lock sliding into place. She was alone once more, but in very different surroundings.
Chapter Two
Now that the girl had access to a window, the passage of time began to take on structure, meaning. Initially she had kept track of the days, but gradually lost interest. Life wasn't so bad here. She had food, clean water, privacy. She'd never again take for granted things like shampoo, pillows, and carpet. The tension, the fear of being discovered dissipated with time. It began to seem that her life outside of Westmarch, even her life in the jail cell, had never existed. The present was reality, everything else immaterial. She was safe, free from abuse or persecution, and her own master. Granted, she never left her room or even threw wide the curtains, but she could decide when to eat, what to eat.
Initially food had nauseated her, but she had been unable to refrain from eating. Even as she made herself sick, she continued out of some primal instinct. As that passed, her furor to eat as much as she could, as quickly as possible, left.
Ben's visits only came once or twice a week, but grew longer as time passed. The two young people could spend hours talking about everything and nothing all at once, and not recall what they had been talking about fifteen minutes later. They grew increasingly comfortable in one another's presence, confiding everything from embarrassing habits to deepest fears. Ben began bringing Integrity books that he procured from the common library, and they would discuss them as avidly as she had once discussed the latest movie.
Integrity and Ben had so much in common—they liked the same things, understood what the other was trying to say. Though she tried to restrain herself, Integrity couldn't help but crush on Ben. He was sweet, funny, not to mention cute. How could she not like him? Yet she feared she was setting herself up for disappointment. What could he possibly see in her? She was nothing but a liability. Sure, they had a lot in common, but so what? He could have as much in common with anyone.
There were times when her throat would clench, when she caught him staring at her intently, but she forced herself to push past it and shrug it off. It all meant nothing. It would all lead to nothing. He was simply a nice guy who felt bad for her. End of story.
But there were times that a small comment would send her heart racing, hope flaring through her veins against her will. At night she would lay awake, repeatedly telling herself he couldn't possibly have meant what she thought he had, that it had been an innocent friendly remark, all while a smile slipped uncontrollably across her face.
Anything he said, anything he did, every movement he made she was acutely aware of. His words were imprinted on her mind, his very inflection was memorized automatically. Yet she fought to keep control of her reeling head and searing emotions. Why set herself up for something she couldn't have?
She was thinking along these same lines one morning when a sharp knock came at the door, following by the sound of a key being slipped into the lock. She immediately jumped up, excitement written all over her face. Get control of yourself, she chastised. Sitting hurriedly back down, she tried to look at the door with nothing more than passing interest.
That expression was quickly replaced by one of shock and fear when the door was opened. Ben did not stand on the other side—rather, a girl slightly older than herself stood there. Integrity panicked. What to do? There was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. The girl had obviously seen her.
“Oh, pardon me,” the intruder said hastily, ducking back out of the room and closing the door gently before relocking it. Integrity sat, her breath spilling from her lungs where it had been trapped. She'd been discovered. Someone knew she was here.
But why had the girl left so quickly? Had she gone to raise the alarm? But if she had, would she have asked Integrity's pardon? Possibly. Maybe it was all a decoy, a way to lure Integrity into a false sense of confidence.
I have to get out of here. She hurried to the door, only to pause with her hand on the lock. What good would it do to go out in the hall? Not only would more people see her, but she'd get horribly lost. She hadn't forgotten what it had been like when Ben brought her here. The best she could hope for was to find an unlocked room and hide there, waiting for Glegnar to inevitably find her. No, that wasn't a solution.
She moved to the window and moved the curtain out a fract
ion of an inch. Standing pressed against the wall, she peered cautiously outside. It was a clear, bright day, the sun lighting up nooks and crannies that could have provided temporary shelter. Moving the curtains slightly more, she moved to get a wider range of view. She sucked in her breath and moved back hastily. Someone was out there. To be exact, several someones were out there. Had they seen her in the window, did they see the curtain move?
What could she possibly do? Venture into the halls and most likely wind up lost or jump out the window and be captured for sure? Neither option was appetizing. She could do far more harm than good by leaving the room. Perhaps if she waited long enough the people outside would leave.
Wait, they'd all been dressed in dark colored coveralls and large hats. They were gardeners! They could be there all day!
Indecision gripped her. If she left the room, she might chance upon a room with a window that faced a different side of the building. But even if she managed to get outside, then what? All she had seen out the window was dense forest. It could be only a few feet deep, or it could go on for miles. Was being lost in the woods with no food or water, surrounded by wild animals, really the wise thing to do? Especially when she didn't know for sure if the girl would report her?
Of course she would be reported. People don't escape from jail and have everyone just forget about them magically. It was only a matter of time. This room wasn't safe any longer.
She paced back and forth, sweat beading along her hairline. She had to get out, but she had to time it perfectly. If anyone saw her in the hallway, she was done for.
She certainly couldn't go barreling out of the room right now. The blond girl was probably still in the corridor, or nearby. Integrity was restless, unable to be still for more than a few moments. Finally she decided to gather a few cans of food to take with her. Who knew how long she'd be in her new room before she could move on elsewhere, or even if she'd find a new room. Better to be prepared than wanting. Besides, she had to keep herself busy as long as she possibly could so she wouldn't explode out of the door.
Integrity: Book One of the Destine Series Page 2