“I’m not going to want to leave. Not without knowing you’ll return to Haven.”
Serena took a deep breath, realizing this was going to be the most difficult part of whatever conversations they had. Part of her wanted to kill Ryan for not warning Killian even though she understood the underlying logic. The remainder wanted to thank him and Bronwynn. “If you had known I was going to be here, would you have agreed to this?”
Killian nibbled on the bit of bread he held, using it as a distraction so he could sort through the confused maze of his thoughts. Serena picked up a slice of the red apple, giving him the time he needed to consider his answer.
“I don’t know,” he said after a long silence. “I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I was hurt, felt betrayed and was angry with you.” He paused and glanced up at her. “I wanted to hate you. But I couldn’t.” He started on another piece of bread, his appetite fleeing with each word they spoke. “What about you?”
“I would have come. I owed… owe you an explanation.” She couldn’t face him, knowing she was hiding more truths.
“You don’t have to give me one right now.”
“No. You deserve it, and it’s better to have it done with right away.” Before this attachment goes any deeper.
Killian reached out and took her hand in his. “Whatever it is, I want to hear it.” His tone was soothing, and he stroked the back of her hands with his thumbs.
“Once I escaped Dennsmore’s men, I learned about my family… my real family.”
Killian frowned, confusion written in his expression. “Your family?”
“I was found by a man named Altus. He knew my parents.” She took a deep breath. “And my brothers.”
“You had brothers?”
“Four of them. Dalton, Baylenn, Sloane, and Kirin.” Serena stayed with the facts.
“I would have loved to meet them,” he whispered, trying to imagine his Serena having brothers. He wondered what they had been like.
“Your mother found me clinging to my father’s body.” Serena knew he’d heard this part of the story, more than once. It was the first memory she’d had for many years. “She wasn’t there by chance, though.”
Killian frowned, “What?”
“She was there meeting with my parents, under your grandmother’s orders.”
“Why?” He looked at the bread in his hand and dropped it back to the plate. His appetite had vanished.
“She was negotiating an alliance between Illedria and the Dragon Fey, part of that agreement was to be a marriage contract for the Prince of Illedria and the Dragon Fey Princess.”
“Me?” Killian paused, his mind turning over all of the possibilities. He lifted his eyes to Serena’s, and his lips quirked up in a smile. “You?”
Serena didn’t trust her voice, so she nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before? Why did you lie about being ill?”
“Because I needed time to learn how to be what I am.” She looked away from him, picking at a lint ball on the blanket.
Killian placed his hands on the sides of her face, focused on her eyes. “You’re the princess my grandmother and mother wanted me to marry?”
Her eyes were still closed, and her lips trembled, but she gave the barest of nods.
“Serena, look at me.” The pause was longer this time. “Please.” Pain and regret radiated in his voice, not the fear or anger she’d been worried about. She opened her eyes and saw Killian smiling. “There you are,” he whispered before coaxing her into a passionate kiss. “Why didn’t we know any of this before?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t find out about the alliance or the betrothal agreement until I was preparing to leave for your wedding.”
“That command was Katia’s doing. As soon as I found out, I sent a messenger to Lakeshire with word that you could send an emissary. I was angry and broken-hearted, but I never wanted to hurt you like that.” Killian glanced down at the plate of food but what little he’d eaten churned in his stomach, threatening to make him sick.
“I didn’t think you would.”
“I saw you and wanted to talk to you, but you ran. Ryan stopped me from following you.”
“I ran because I was losing control.” She pulled her hand from his, clenching it in her lap, nails digging into flesh without breaking it.
He wanted to reach out, to touch her, to assure her that everything would be fine… but couldn’t. A lot of things had changed about her, and in spite of what they’d done the night before, he wasn’t certain what was acceptable between them anymore. “Control?”
“I can become a dragon anytime I chose.” She took a deep breath and let it out, trying to keep her fraying nerves from spiraling out of control. “But when my emotions run high, it’s more difficult for me to maintain control. Dragon Fey children learn how to manage their changes when they’re young, so it becomes second nature. But my nature was suppressed, hidden, locked away for most of my life. With each passing day, I’m relearning what I should have mastered as a child.”
“Why is that? How is it even possible?”
“When your mother found me, my father was still clinging to life.” Her throat tightened as memories flashed through her mind. “He told me to perform the funeral rites for the fallen. That your mother’s people would help. For Dragon Fey, it’s important the body be placed on the pyres before the next moonrise. My father gave me two talismans. One that he said would protect me throughout my life and the other would offer protection until I was old enough to understand.”
Killian reached out and put his hand on hers, offering unspoken support.
She drew in a shaky breath and turned her hand over to interlace their fingers. “I now know that the second talisman was imbued with a spell. One that made me forget everything about my life up until the moment it took effect. My parents had spent the last of their strength to cast the spell when they saw the battle was lost. They had waited so long for a daughter, an heir, that they sacrificed themselves so I could live.”
“An heir?” He frowned and shook his head. “But you had brothers.”
She glanced up at him, a slight smile curling her lips. “Dragon Fey are matriarchal.”
Killian’s breath caught in his throat. “Wouldn’t that make you a queen already?”
She shook her head and reached up to play with a bit of hair that had fallen over her shoulder. “Not until I reach the age of majority.”
Killian folded his hands in his lap, fighting the desire to run his fingers through her hair, to take away all the pain and confusion and replace it with joy and contentment. He wanted to be her home, her family. “You’re already eighteen.”
She chuckled and said, “We don’t reach majority until the age of twenty-three.”
“So,” he answered, understanding beginning to dawn on him, “a little over a year?”
“Yes.”
“And that’s why you tried to leave me.”
“Yes. And why I wanted to break it off with you.” She sighed, and when her eyes met his, they were full of pain and regret. “I will need to marry, so I thought pushing you away would make things easier.” Her voice dropped to a soft whisper that Killian almost didn’t hear. “On us both.”
“But it didn’t.”
“No, not at all. I’m sorry, Killian.” She reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “I should have told you what was happening, but my people have to be so very careful about who knows the truth.” When she finished speaking, her hand dropped down to his leg.
He waited for several long moments, his eyes searching hers. “Why?”
Their eyes met and held as she replied. “The Dark Fey.”
Killian rubbed the back of his neck. “More legends that are true?”
“Yes.” She nodded They killed most of my people.”
He nodded, and a dark shadow passed over his eyes. “Why do I have the feeling your council doesn’t want you involved with a human prince any m
ore than my father’s would want me involved with a Dragon Fey, princess or not.”
“You would be correct.”
He closed his eyes. Turning everything she’d told him over in his mind. “You said our mothers had agreed to the terms of our betrothal?” he asked.
Serena frowned uncertainty in her eyes. She nodded.
“Are there any documents, unsigned treaties, anything we could use to prove this?”
“Not that my people know of.” She brushed the hair away out of her eyes. “Dragon Fey are nomads, so there are not many written records of our people.”
“If there are records,” he said, chewing on his lower lip, “they are in Haven.”
“Yes.”
The couple fell into silence. Each of them lost in their own thoughts.
After a while, Killian shook his head. “I don’t understand.” Confusion and hurt lacing his words. “Why didn’t my mother ever tell me about this?”
“You were just a boy when she died.”
“I know, but we spoke of so many things most parents would consider beyond their children’s understanding.” He sighed. “I don’t know why she kept something this important from me.”
“I think she may have been trying to protect both of us and from what Altus said. She insisted the eventual betrothal be agreed upon by both of us before it went forward.”
“My mother insisted you and I had the final say over whether or not we married?”
“Yes. She wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of an arranged marriage between a little girl and her infant son and wanted us both to have options, in case we hated one another.”
Their eyes met, and the world seemed to fall away. All Killian cared about was the woman sitting next to him. He reached up and cupped her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” She caught his hand as it fell away and lifted it to her lips. Never taking her eyes from his, she kissed the back before releasing it.
“We’ve talked, but haven’t eaten much.”
“I know,” Serena said as her stomach rumbled.
“Love?”
“Yes.”
He took her left hand and placed it over his heart. “I swear to you that upon my return to Haven, I will begin searching for a way we can be together.”
“What about Katia?”
“I will find a way to be rid of my wife. My grandmother was a shrewd woman. There was a reason she wanted the alliance with your people. Now I know, I want it.”
She frowned not fully understanding his meaning.
“I want to be married to the woman I love. Not just the woman who is politically expedient.”
“I want that too,” she whispered.
“Glad to hear it.” He popped a berry into his mouth and ate it. “Now, eat up because I have some ideas about how to spend the next couple of hours.” Serena started to say something, but he stopped her with a searing kiss. “I don’t know how long we will be parted. I know we have today and tomorrow and want to make as many memories as possible before we have to leave.”
Heat rose in her cheeks and through her chest. She glanced up at him and whispered, “What can I say but as my prince wishes.”
“I hope it is also my princess’s desire.”
“It is most definitely your princess’s desire.”
Killian picked up the empty plate and set it on the floor before turning back to Serena. She was right beside him, drawing him close to her and pressing her lips to his. The kiss evolved as her hands slipped down his torso to his waistband. His hands slid up her body, underneath the too large shirt. Killian caressed her, eliciting soft moans as he inched the garment up. She pulled back from the kiss and threw her head back. Killian reached behind her neck and tugged her down to him, kissing and nipping at the exposed line of her throat.
Serena pushed away from him, her hands in the center of his chest. Their burning gazes met, and a wave of heat washed over her. “I love you, my prince.”
Killian chuckled, joy dancing in his eyes, a genuine, carefree smile curling his lips. “And I, you, my princess,” he whispered against her neck, “because I intend to have you writhing beneath me before this day is over.”
A shiver of desire ran through Serena’s entire body. Before she had the chance to respond, Killian captured her lips in a passionate kiss and began making good on his promise.
Bronwynn walked through the forest, listening to the creatures around them and the thumping of Ryan’s boots beside her. She knew by the heaviness in his step and the occasionally grumbled curse that he still didn’t agree with the decision to leave their friends alone in the cottage. He knew there were both human and Dragon Fey warriors guarding the future monarchs, but it did little to assuage his concerns. Bronwynn approached the cottage, making her way to the back door, where she’d left Serena. She worked the key in the lock, being as quiet as possible, and pausing for a moment, listening for voices before she pushed the door open and took one step into the cottage. Smiling, she retreated and let Ryan see what she had. Killian and Serena were asleep in the bed wrapped in each other’s arms. When he’d seen enough, he stepped back and closed the door without making a sound.
“So, do you think we need to lock it again?” Bronwynn asked, her lavender eyes teasing.
“It would appear they’ve worked out their differences.”
“Do you think we should tell them the doors aren’t locked anymore?”
“Let their royal selves figure it out,” Ryan teased as his hand brushed across the Dragon Fey’s hand. A faint current ran through his fingers and up his arm.
Bronwynn smiled, stopped and turned to face the human guard. “Would you care to spar with me once we arrive at camp, Captain?”
“I believe it would be an excellent use of our time, Lady Bronwynn.” He smiled, knowing she would present an interesting challenge. He’d watched the Dragon Fey spar and was eager to test his mettle against one of them.
Later that afternoon, Serena knelt beside the small stream that ran through the forest close to the lodge. She splashed water on her face and combed her hands through her hair, wetting it. Killian watched, unable to take his eyes off her. He stood and cleared his throat. I should have told her about this when she was sharing her secrets. I got caught up in the idea that I might be rid of my wife. I need to tell her because it might be a complication. “Serena?”
She turned to face him, dappled sunlight playing over the lines of her face, the question sparkling in her eyes. “Yes, my love?”
“I have something I should have told you about earlier.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, kicking the grass with the toe of his boot.
“What is it?” she asked.
He rubbed his hands together and tried to find the right words. “I’ve lain with Katia.”
“She’s your wife.” Serena frowned, not understanding. “I wouldn’t have expected less.”
Killian shook his head. “No.” He took a deep breath and stared at his hands. “It was before we married.” He let out a shaky breath. “The night I received your letter.”
Pain lanced Serena’s heart. She had known Killian would have bedded his wife on their wedding night, but to hear the confirmation from his own lips and to learn it had happened before the marriage… it hurt. The night he’d received her letter. She was the cause. “How did it happen?” Her lips formed the question. Breath gave it voice, but the instant it left her mouth, she wanted to snatch it back.
“During a celebration feast. One of about a hundred that were thrown between the announcement and the marriage. I got drunk.” He inhaled deeply and said, “Very drunk. It doesn’t excuse what I did or change the fact that I did it.” He seemed to close in on himself as though he needed protection from something Serena couldn’t see. “It is done, and I cannot take it back. I can only beg for your understanding.”
“Killian.” She stepped forward, closing the distance between them, focusing on his eyes. “Did you force yourself
on Katia?”
His eyes went wide with a mix of disbelief and anger flashing in their cobalt depths. “Gods, no. I assure you she was quite willing. Eager, to be exact. I only had to make one slight overture and she…” His words trailed off leaving a heavy silence hanging between them.
He couldn’t breathe. His vision swam in and out of focus while her face contorted into something out of one of his nightmares.
Her arms snaked around him, and he heard her whispering endearments as every wall and defense he put up around his heart fell away. She told him it was all right, and everything would be fine. Serena whispered her undying love for him. There would never be anyone else for her. She told him she loved him because of the man he was and the man he was trying to become. But, above all, she said she understood and would be there for him… no matter what. She held him as his mother had, as his grandmother and father never had. She let him fall apart, knowing she would be there to help him pick up the pieces.
Killian woke some time later, his body sore with the scents of grass and Serena flooding his nostrils. He kept his eyes closed and took a few slow, deep breaths, enjoying the way her fingers slid through his hair and over his scalp. She was absently humming a tune.
“Welcome back, my prince,” Serena murmured and kissed his forehead, her lap shifting a little under his head as she moved.
He pushed himself into a sitting position. “I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have… I should be stronger.”
“Killian.”
Unable to disobey the note of command he heard in her voice, he stared.
She leaned in and gave him a proper kiss, one that left his mind spinning and short of breath. “You do not have to be strong all of the time.” She brushed her fingers over his forehead. “You can let me be the strong one sometimes.”
“I’d almost forgotten what it was really like to have someone to talk to. Without you…”
“You can talk to Ryan.”
“I know, but it is not the same. He is not you and well,” he said after a slight pause, “he is—”
“A man?” she asked, one eyebrow raised.
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