She was vaguely aware of him moving about her, removing the dildo and cleaning her with a warm, wet washcloth. Probably dropped off by one of the Sisters or the dungeon monitors. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he’d just given her the best orgasm she’d ever experienced and he hadn’t beaten her.
It presented a problem she hadn’t encountered before. On one hand, she wanted desperately to have those cherished moments where the world around her slipped away. When the pain from the beating was all she could focus on. When the consuming grief that stayed with her constantly wasn’t the first thing on her mind everywhere she looked. Every small girl she saw. Every dark-haired man with his back turned, his hair cut like her sweet Ethan’s had been. It’d been ten months since she lost them, and still she wanted to cry every moment of every day.
Tears began to run down her cheeks. There was no point in trying to hold them back. She hadn’t felt pleasure like Finn had given her just now since… the last time she’d been with her husband, her mate. The man she was supposed to have spent her entire life with. It wasn’t fair.
Being with Finn was a betrayal to her love for Ethan. To his memory.
“Red!” The sound of her voice calling out the safe word surprised her. “Red. Red.” It just kept coming out. “Red!” It didn’t sound like her. She didn’t cry and wail. She didn’t use safe words.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. We’re done.” His voice crooned into her ear as his fingers flew to release the buckles holding her in place.
She heard a female voice ask if everything was all right, probably a monitor. Finn’s low bass rumbled an answer that she’d come apart after the scene was completed. He told the woman he intended to hold her until she calmed.
Teagan couldn’t see through her layers of hair, had no idea who had checked up on her, but it just showed the quality of the club. They watched everything to make sure everyone was safe.
A soft blanket covered her bare back, and Finn lifted her from the sawhorse. He cradled her as if she were no more than a babe and settled into the corner of a big couch a few feet away. He tucked the blanket around her tightly, giving her more of a sense of being covered. His scent filled her lungs, and she allowed her shivering body to lean against his chest. The soft thump thump, thump thump of his heart was calming.
Cold glass touched her lips and she opened her eyes. He was holding a cup of water to her mouth.
“Drink, sweetheart.”
The water slid down her parched throat, and the shivers and sobs subsided until finally her breathing returned to normal.
He set the glass on a table behind her, and a whiff of sugar and cocoa caught her attention. He held a piece of chocolate between his fingers.
She licked her lips and nodded.
He pressed the candy into her mouth and she ate it slowly, allowing the sweet creamy chocolate to coat her tongue. She snuggled deeper against his chest and relaxed when his arms tightened around her.
“You did so well, Teagan. I’m proud of you. Thank you for accepting the scene with me this evening.”
A sigh slipped from her chest as his kind words lulled her into a peaceful state. Her eyes drooped, then shot back open when his hard cock throbbed beneath her bottom. They hadn’t had sex. He hadn’t been able to reach his climax. She’d lost it. Used her safe word. Cried.
Javier never wanted sex, but another Dom would. Wouldn’t they?
“I’m so sorry,” she whimpered against his chest. Chancing a glance upward, her gaze met his and his eyes held only compassion. He wasn’t upset. Angry. Or disappointed. In fact, he looked rather pleased with himself.
What the hell?
Chapter 4
Sorry? Why was she apologizing?
“Teagan. Everything is fine.” He smoothed her hair from her forehead and hugged her more firmly to his chest. Her soft body fit against his perfectly and he knew letting go of her was going to be a chore. If he had his way, he’d carry her out of the Castle and directly to his house.
“But you didn’t. I didn’t get you—”
“Shhhh. That wasn’t what I wanted this evening. Tonight was just about you submitting and going where I told you to go.”
She sighed something about his hard cock not being in agreement, and Finn was unable to hold back a grin. It certainly hadn’t been easy to refrain from taking her pretty pussy when it had been practically weeping for him to enter her.
About an hour later she stirred in his lap. She was so beautiful and had slept so peacefully. The tension and fear he’d sensed in her earlier had faded in sleep, but as she woke it came back with a vengeance.
He released her and watched silently as she dressed in the cami and skirt she’d arrived in.
“Are your shoes in the foyer?”
She glanced to him and nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“Did you walk or drive tonight?” The town was small. Lots of people had cars, but most walked, enjoying the atmosphere of quiet.
“I walked,” she answered, zipping up her cami. “I apologize for falling asleep on you. I can’t imagine how irritating that must’ve been, but thank you for letting me rest. I don’t remember the last time I slept… so soundly.”
“It was a pleasure. No irritation whatsoever,” he said, rising from the couch. “I’ll walk you home.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said, turning away and starting for the door.
“Teagan, it wasn’t a request.”
She froze in the doorway and slowly twisted on her heel until her eyes flashed angrily.
There was more spark in them now than he’d seen yet.
“The scene is over. I respectfully request your release.”
“Did you not enjoy my company?” he asked, keeping his voice firm but even.
“I do not wish more, if that’s what you’re angling for.”
The sting of her sentiment was harsh, but he wasn’t one to give up easily, especially when the woman turning him down was a potential mate. He’d waited this long to find someone he could have a family with. Fall in love with. Just because it was going to be more difficult than he’d hoped didn’t mean he was going to give up on her.
“I’m walking you home. Nothing more than that.”
She held his gaze for a moment before nodding. “Very well.”
He walked at her side through the massive fortress to the front foyer where she sifted through a large trunk for her shoes, and then out the open front door. Her footsteps were light on the sidewalk, but her heart betrayed her nerves, racing in tempo with the wild mustangs that used to run the open prairies of Texas decades ago.
“Why are you afraid of me?”
A quick catch in her breath said she’d heard him, but she didn’t immediately respond.
Devising a lie, no doubt.
He smiled, waiting for her response.
“I’m not,” she said.
Outright denial then. Brave girl.
They turned down a side street off Main Street Circle and followed the sidewalk into a neighborhood inhabited mostly by the Lycans Travis and Garrett had brought back from the Washington Republic.
“I’d like to scene again. When can we meet?”
She stopped in front of a small white house with blue trim and faced him squarely. “I’m not sure we should.”
“I’m quite sure we need to,” he replied, not missing a beat. She wasn’t going to get out of it that easily. She could try to hold out, but eventually the call of their wolves would dominate her every waking thought.
Unless she flat-out refused him.
He hadn’t considered that possibility until just now.
Fear gripped his heart.
The possibility of her completely dismissing him knotted his stomach, and he tamped down the urge to vomit right there in the bushes next to her gate. If she dismissed him completely, the magickal connection would snap and they would lose their chance to be mates.
“Perhaps sleep on it and we can talk again tomorrow?”
&
nbsp; Her pulse slowed ever so slightly and she nodded.
Relief flowed over him like a tidal wave. At least she hadn’t completely shut him down.
“Thank you.”
“Good night.” Her voice was soft, choked with churning emotions.
He knew this wasn’t the right time to press. He’d take the small victory he’d been granted and look for her the next day.
Tonight she could be alone, though he doubted being alone was what she really desired at all. She was just too afraid to ask for more.
* * *
Teagan tried not to hurry as she opened the front door and slipped inside the small house she called home. It’d been a gift from the town, and she treasured its solitude above all else. No one had been invited inside since she arrived, and she had yet to raise the blinds or draw back the curtains even once.
It was a dark haven from the world around her.
But now the world was creeping in whether she wanted it to or not. The male she’d met this evening was a match, magickally speaking. He was a phenomenal Dom too, apparently, since he’d gotten her off more times in the space of an hour or so than Javier ever had in an entire evening session. Not that Javier’s goal had ever been getting her off more than once. He was more of a build-it-up-and-keep-it-just-out-of-reach until the very end of the scene.
Still.
She didn’t need a mate.
Didn’t want a mate.
A new life wasn’t something she deserved. Her husband and daughter had been lost in the skirmish that ultimately had freed her from the Washington Republic and set her on the road to Sanctuary. She been given refuge. Food. A home. Clothing. Anything and everything she could possibly need—except her family. They’d been viciously shot down during the escape. She’d been shot too, but hadn’t felt it until they got clear of the town. By then it was too late. She looked back over her shoulder and watched as WR soldiers executed both her husband and eight-year-old daughter.
If Travis and Garrett hadn’t held her back, she would be lying dead next to her family. Most days she still thought that would’ve been the better alternative to the emotional hell she lived in now.
Mostly, when the pain got to be too much to bear, she begged Javier beat it out of her. After tonight with Finn, she wasn’t sure that would work again. Finn had shown her another way. In the scene with him, she’d been completely focused on him. His touch. His hands. Her body had trembled with every caress.
But it wasn’t right. She didn’t deserve him, and he wouldn’t want her after he knew a little more about her. Things were better the way they were. She just needed to get back to Javier and forget about Finn.
* * *
The next morning as she walked down the sidewalk toward Main Street Circle, she wasn’t surprised when Javier appeared at her side from nowhere. They weren’t exclusive, but she knew she was the only Lycan who played with him at the club.
He liked her in his own twisted way. Watched over her even.
That knowledge had kept her going when her mental capacity was at its lowest. Whether or not she was a true masochist, her sessions with Javier had kept her sane since losing her family. It had also kept her from ending her life on more than one occasion.
“How’s my favorite bitch?” Javier slipped a familiar arm around her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple as he matched her walking pace with ease. He was about six foot two and built like a predatory cat, lean and mean—fangs to boot. “You seem thin, mi dulce,” he purred, “Did you eat the food I put on your porch?”
Teagan nodded. “Most of it. Thank you. You know you don’t have to feed me.”
“I do. You don’t take care of yourself. You’d be skin and bones if I didn’t check up on you.” He clucked his tongue when she opened her mouth to argue. “Don’t deny it. You know I’m right.”
Javier was probably the only soul in Sanctuary who knew what a mess she really was. He didn’t judge her for it. Instead, he just let her figure out while being annoyingly helpful and much sweeter than she thought possible from a guy who enjoyed making her bleed and called her bitch or sweet in the same paragraph. She smiled.
His asshole behavior mixed with his out-of-character attentiveness always threw her off-kilter and helped wake her from the fog she usually existed in. He was so different from the other Protectors she’d met so far.
Erick and Bailey were nice enough. Eira was friends with the Drakonae and the Lycans from Ada, but she was still pretty normal as far as vampires went. She hadn’t met the other Protector yet. There was at least one other male vampire she’d scented since moving to town.
“Come over to the cafe. The wolves have been raving about this week’s menu being excellent.”
“You don’t eat. Why do you care?” Teagan asked, allowing a little bit of a teasing tone to sneak into her voice.
“I’d like to eat you,” he answered, nuzzling her hair and nipping at her ear.
Feeding Javier was something she wished she could do. It seemed like such a small thing to offer him in exchange for the attention he gave her, but it went against her very nature. She grown up being taught not to feed a vampire, and she had no intention of breaking the vow she’d made to her pack years ago.
No Lycan willingly fed a vampire.
Ever.
It just wasn’t done.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Yes,” he answered, stopping and turning her to face him.
“I scened with a Dom named Finn last night at Luck of the Draw.” She swallowed a deep breath and looked up into the peaceful ice-blue eyes of the vampire she’d spent more time with than any other person in town since she’d arrived. He might be an asshole. But he was her asshole, and she trusted him to be honest with her. She owed him the same.
“Did Kylie match you?” His voice didn’t waiver. In fact, his face showed no sign of surprise.
She’d showered thoroughly to make sure Finn’s scent wasn’t still on her. But Javier wore a look that said he’d already known.
Her head nodded of its own accord and she let her gaze fall to the ground.
“Did you like him, Teagan? It’s okay if you did.” He brushed his knuckles along her cheek.
“I don’t know what to think. I need you to—”
“You don’t need me. You hide with me.” He cupped her chin and lifted her face to look up at him. “I give you what you want because you ask for it, but it’s not what your soul wants.” He pressed an accusatory finger to her collarbone. “At least I know if I’m the one hurting you, you won’t hurt yourself. It’s time for you to be with a man who can help you heal, mi dulce. If Finn is the right one, you should give him a chance. Kylie is never wrong. What did your magick say?”
Tears welled in her eyes, and her chest tightened like someone was squeezing it with a vise. It couldn’t be. He was an asshole. He was supposed to tell her he wanted to keep her. That Finn couldn’t have her. Not tell her to serve herself up on a silver platter to a man who might have a chance of actually touching her broken soul.
“I don’t want another mate. I don’t want to heal. You’re supposed to be a jerk and punish me for even considering leaving you. I don’t deserve… I—”
“Bitch, I like you too much to keep you from this opportunity. I’m not a Lycan, but as I understand it, Fate doesn’t come calling often enough to ignore her,” he rumbled, pulling her into a tight embrace. His arms wrapped around her, and she shuddered through the sobs that welled up and took hold.
Chapter 5
Finn ground his teeth together and strained to keep his fangs from descending. His wolf wanted to shred the vampire for touching Teagan the morning after.
He’d gone to try to coax the little female out of her house for breakfast at the café, but the vampire beat him to her. Teagan and Javier’s scent led from a side street to Main Street Circle.
When he’d turned the corner and seen the vampire holding her in his arms, Finn had nearly lost it.
It wasn’t his place. She wasn’t his. Even though they were magickally compatible, it was all the female’s choice. She had the final say, and apparently she was making her choice quite clearly. She wanted a man who hurt her and made her bleed, not someone who could see how much more she needed. How much more she would thrive on the attention he wanted to give her.
A growl rumbled in his throat just as he caught the last bit of their conversation. He’d just called Teagan a bitch and said something about fate. What the fuck? He had no right to speak to her like that.
He threw caution to the wind. Protector or not, he wasn’t going to let Javier abuse her again. He approached them from downwind and was nearly on top of them before the vampire whirled with his mouth twisted into a snarl that Finn matched with his own vicious growl, fangs bared.
Javier shoved Teagan behind him protectively, and Finn took a step back. His behavior was unconscionable. This was a mistake. Teagan was a grown woman and a Lycan. He never should’ve threatened the man she chose to spend time with, even if that man was a blood-sucking, sadistic asshole.
Finn backed up another step. “I’m sorry, Teagan. I—” He turned and jogged down the street away from them. He didn’t know what to say, but he’d probably ruined his only chance with her. The weight of that knowledge pressed down on his heart like a vise.
He’d waited decades to find a female who was magickally compatible. He wanted to have a true mate and experience love like his parents had. He wanted to have a family.
Teagan was the first woman he’d met in his entire eighty years of life that could offer him that and she… wasn’t his and didn’t want to be.
* * *
“You should go after him,” Javier said, rubbing his chin, looking at her like she was a buffet of barbecue ribs. “I need to feed, and you need to talk to him.”
Mastered: Teagan: Sanctuary, Texas (A Sanctuary Texas World Novella Book 1) Page 3