Dakota came back into the living room with a plate full of potato chips, some dip, and a glass of cran-grape juice.
“So, all of this stemmed from the other night when he didn’t answer his phone when you called?” Dakota asked when she sat back on the couch.
“Basically. When we spoke, I told him he always seems to have some excuse for where he is, and he got all pretend offendedand then tried to flip it back on me.”
“Why you say pretend offended?”
“Because I know that he sees where I’m coming from. He’s late for plans we have all the time; there’s way too many times he doesn’t answer his phone when I call the first time; he works late a lot. It’s just that I don’t feel like a priority anymore.”
“Well, is he just busier at work and you can’t understand that?”
“I don’t know, but I know that it’s taking my sense of securitywith him away completely.”
Dakota took a gulp from her glass and chewed a couple of potato chips at once.
“You should have never let him move offices. At least if you two still worked together and in the same place, you could know when he is really working late and when he’s not.”
“I know, but at the time we thought it was best since we weren’t together and it was awkward; and the job offer he got was a great opportunity. I wish I would’ve known it would make things so bad, though,” Jordan replied.
“So, think about this question for a second before you answerit,” Dakota said.
“What?” Jordan asked.
“Do you trust Jayon?”
Jordan became obviously uneasy. It was a question she didn’t want to have dissected. She was well aware that there was no point being with a man you didn’t trust, but then at the same time she was well aware trust didn’t come accompanied with doubt and suspicion.
“I don’t know anymore, Dakota. I can’t have you force me to lie to you.”
“Well, that’s what you need to figure out, because that’s what is at the root of all your frustration with him.You don’t believe anything he tells you ... and I’m not saying you should; I’m just saying that you need to be honest with yourself before you can demand that he be honest with you.”
It wasn’t an easy thing to do, but Dakota shushed Jordan. All Jordan could do was recite that last statement over in her head to resonate the truth to it. They say truth hurts, but this time it stuck. Jordan knew that Dakota made perfect sense, but facing the truth was not an easy thing to do.
9
Tayese was just stepping out of her Lexus when she noticedthe gentleman walking up to her. She initially jumped from his unexpected presence, but after recognizing the familiarface, she sighed.
“Did I scare you?” he asked.
“Just a little,” she replied.
Tayese continued to get her purse and umbrella out of the backseat. She was meeting with a guy that she had met a coupleof weeks ago at a networking event. They had spoken on the phone a few times, and so far things seemed pretty good for the most part. Tonight was the first time they were seeing each other since the event, but she remembered his face and he obviously remembered hers.
They walked inside the restaurant together, and Ryan held the door as she walked through. They walked up to the hostess and asked for a table for two, and she informed them that it would be a five-minute wait. Ryan agreed and guided Tayese over to the waiting area.
“So, what made you choose this restaurant?” Tayese asked.
“I like this place. Me and my ex used to come here a lot, and I always enjoyed the food,” Ryan said.
Tayese wasn’t quite sure what to say. She wasn’t used to hearing ex-girlfriend talk so early on.
“Oh, OK. That’s good to know they have good food,” she said.
“Yeah, well I thought so. She did too; she used to always order their smoked salmon with rice. Hopefully you’ll like it.”
“I’m sure I’ll find something on the menu to fall in love with,” Tayese said.
Tayese was hoping this wasn’t the beginning of memory lane at this place, because although she was a confident woman and had no reason to be jealous of this woman she didn’t know, she didn’t feel like hearing about her all night.
After a little more small talk and some people watching, the hostess came over and notified them that their table was ready. The two of them stood up to follow her to the table. They walked past the rows of tables that filled the dining area, and they ignored the dozens of eyes glancing upon them as they passed. Tayese knew a few of the ladies would sneak a secondglance at Ryan, because she knew that he was eye-catching. Ryan stood six feet three and had a muscular build like an athlete;he was brown skinned with a chiseled face and brown eyes. Also, not that the ladies could tell unless he was smiling, he had a deep dimple in his right cheek that was absolutely adorable.He wore a brown paperboy hat, with a tan and brown button-down shirt, jeans, and brown Gucci sneakers. He was a sight to see as he swayed through the restaurant. Tayese knew he was fine, which was one of the only reasons she had agreed to go out with him despite her “no colleague” dating rule. She figured rules were meant to be broken, and with looks like his, what better reason to break one.
They eventually reached their table, which was located towardthe back of the restaurant in one of the side booths. Due to the lack of a chair to pull out, Tayese couldn’t gauge how much of a gentleman he was just yet. She wasn’t looking for Mr. Perfect per se, but she needed some things to put on her pros and cons list when it came down to sizing him up. As soon as they were seated, the waitress came over with menus and began filling their glasses with water. Once they informed her that they didn’t want appetizers, the waitress told them she’d give them a few minutes to look at the menu and be back in a few.
“You going to get the smoked salmon?” Ryan asked as soon as the waitress stepped away.
Tayese looked up almost in disbelief and replied, “Not quite sure yet what I’m ordering.”
“Oh, OK.”
Tayese tried her best to subdue the irritated thoughts she was having, and then she decided she might as well see where this was going sooner rather than later.
“Why?” she asked.
“Why what?”
“Why did you ask if I was getting the smoked salmon?”
“No reason,” he replied.
“Oh, OK. I was just making sure you didn’t want me to get it or something. Maybe you wanted this to be just like the times you came here with your ex.”
Ryan seemed a bit uncomfortable by Tayese’s aggressive tone.
“No, not at all. It was just a recommendation.”
“OK. Well, once I’m through looking at the menu, I’ll let you know what I decide.”
They both began scanning the menu without saying anotherword. Tayese began to feel a little guilty and wondered if she was too harsh. She didn’t think that she was being mean or anything, but she wasn’t sure if her accusation seemed confrontationalor not. Tayese was well aware that she was on the search for her husband, so she couldn’t afford to scare off potentialprospects. At the same time, she didn’t want to waste her time either, so she knew sometimes there was a need to be a bit forward. As she perused the menu, she began to think that maybe she overreacted. It was possible that Ryan was just tryingto make conversation or was just trying to make a helpful suggestion.
“I’m going to go with the smoked salmon and rice,” Tayesesaid, putting the menu down.
Ryan looked up at her and after seeing her facial expression,smirked.
“You sure? I don’t want any problems.”
“I’m sure. I’m going to take your recommendation.”
“OK,” Ryan said, shrugging his shoulders. “If you want to.”
“Nothing else really looks that much better to me anyway, so I’ll go with what you know.”
Tayese was sure that Ryan was able to tell that there was more to it than her just deciding upon the salmon, but she was hoping he didn’t know it was h
er method to make a truce, because she didn’t want him to think she was one of those argumentative sisters that he may or may not have been used to.
Tayese took a few sips of her water before the waitress returned.
“Are you ready to order?” she asked.
“Yes,” Ryan replied as he looked at Tayese for approval.
“Yes, I’ll have the smoked salmon with white rice and a Coke.”
“And I’ll have the T-bone steak and potatoes with cranberryjuice.”
“OK, great. I’ll be right back with your beverages,” the waitress said as she picked up the menus.
“So, you were able to get out of work on time for once,” Ryan said in an attempt to cease the awkwardness at the table.
“Yes, surprisingly; technically I have a ton of work still to do and I should go back to the office tonight, but I figured it’s not going to make a huge difference if it gets done tomorrow,” she replied.
“You work hard, girl,” Ryan said.
“I know,” Tayese said as she nibbled on a piece of the bread that was on the table.
“You have to find some time for yourself,” he said.
“I do, as much as I can, but it’s just me. I don’t have any kids or a husband, so I guess I figure better to work hard than do nothing at home.”
“Well, how are you going to make time for those things in your life if you are constantly at work?”
“That’s a good point, but when I’ve had more time, it doesn’t change my situation for the better. I need my situation to change first, and then I’ll make sure to make more time.”
“That’s understandable.”
Tayese was starting to like where this conversation was headed. She was surprised that he was comfortable with such a serious conversation so soon.
“Thanks for the understanding. Believe me, I want to spend fewer hours at work and more at home, but I just need a good reason to do so.”
“My ex was a workaholic and it drove me crazy. That’s a major part of why we are not together now.”
Tayese couldn’t believe that his ex was the topic of conversationagain just that fast.
“Really? Is that so?” Tayese asked, trying to contain her sarcasm.
“Yeah. I’m not the type that believes a woman’s place is in the kitchen; I don’t believe that at all. However, I feel that a man can be left to take care of and worry about certain things, and that a woman should have time to be a wife and mother. If a woman is too wrapped up in being independent, then what does she need a man for?”
Tayese knew that there was a lot that she could learn from Ryan if she continued this conversation, but after it was premised with his ex-girlfriend’s ambition,Tayese wasn’t interestedin defending or knocking this stranger’s decisions.
“I hear you,” Tayese said, trying not to give room for more dialogue about it.
Tayese had liked the progression in their conversation, and just as she was starting to think he was going to propose to her, he brought up his ex-girlfriend again. She was probably more irritated by it than it just being some form of jealousy, but eitherway, she didn’t feel like hearing about his baggage anymore.
At that moment, the waiter approached with their hot plates. Tayese was slightly relieved at the natural ending to their conversation, and she had every intention on changing the topic. At least, if he would let her.
10
Jordan was on the phone, cracking up at Tayese’s story from her date the night before. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel her frustration, but just imagining the scene brought Jordan to tears of laughter.
“Jordan, I wanted to just say so bad,‘She’s just not that into you. Let her go!’”Tayese said.
“I can imagine. I can’t believe he didn’t realize that he was bringing her up like that,” Jordan said through her laughter.
“I had to eventually tell him, ‘Listen, I really do want to get to know you better, but I feel like all I’m finding out about is you and your ex-girlfriend.’”
“What did he say?”
“Nothing, just that he was sorry and was just having conversation.That was all good, but about fifteen minutes later when we started talking about his job, he said he wanted to get out of the marketing business, but when the timing was good for him, his ex-girlfriend had this artist that she begged him to work with, so he stuck with it longer.”
Through the phone, you could hear Jordan’s snickers and laughter.
“I was thinking to myself, You couldn’t just say you had a new artist? Must it be your ex this and ex that? You would think they just broke up a few days ago.”
“You said it’s been like three months, right?”
“Yes, chile! That’s why I didn’t understand how he was so oblivious to how open he still was.”
“Well, at least you know he isn’t a player and he loves with his heart.”
“Yeah, but only her,”Tayese said, laughing.
“Give him time, girl. He was cool other than that, you said, so just give him some more time or chances.You never know.”
“Yeah, yeah.Whatever,”Tayese said back.
“Well, I gotta go run into this meeting. I’ll call you later,” Jordan said.
Jordan didn’t have any meeting to run to; she just wanted a quick and simple way to get off the phone so that she could call Jayon. As soon as she hung up, she picked back up and dialedhis number.
“Hey, hon,” he answered.
“Hey, what are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m just heading back to the office. I had a meeting.”
“Oh, how’d it go?”
“How’d what go?”
“The meeting.”
“Oh, it went well. May have a new client. We’ll see how it goes.”
“That’s good.Well, I wanted to go eat at Sylvia’s tonight.”
“Babe ... we can’t do it tonight.”
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because I have too much to do. We can go Saturday, though,” he said.
“I want to go tonight. Why can’t we just go for an hour or so tonight?”
“I just told you that I have a lot to do.”
“What do you have to do on a Tuesday night?”
“I’ll be at the office late; I have a lot of files to close. Then I have to work out after work.”
“Fine, Jayon. Forget I asked.”
“What do you want me to do? I have work to do.”
“Well, do your work and call me later.”
Jayon quickly took the opportunity to hang up the phone before a deep conversation ensued.
Jordan went back to her work, trying not to let herself get upset at the conversation she had with Jayon. She rearranged some papers on her desk and put some Post-it Notes on a few documents. She noticed the frustration from her conversation was still lurking, but she continued organizing her desk. Finally,she tried to distract herself by reading a cease and desist letter that she had just received on behalf of one of her clients from MCA Records. She wrote a small note on the side of the letter, and as soon as she was done, she placed the pen down and picked up the phone receiver. She hit redial and waited while the phone rang.
“Hello,” Jayon answered.
“Why does it feel like I am the only one in this relationship?”Jordan asked.
“I don’t know why you feel like that,” Jayon replied very calmly.
“Do you think maybe because you make me feel that way?”
“I can’t make you feel that way.”
“See, this is exactly what I’m talking about, your nonchalanceabout everything.”
“Jordan, I have to work. I’m sorry I can’t just drop everythingso we can go eat together, but that’s not me making you feel like you’re in this relationship alone.”
“If it’s not work, it’s something. I just know it’s very rarely me.Things are changing so drastically between us, and it doesn’t seem to bother you.”
“We are just going through a downtime for a q
uick second;we will be fine.We both have a lot of work on our plates, and that’s all it is. Our relationship will be just fine.”
Although Jordan was relieved to hear Jayon’s faith in their relationship, for some reason it only felt like words to her.
“So you think that we can just allow this distance between us to grow, and then we will be just fine once our work schedulesslow up?”
“Yes, we don’t have to be together 24-7 to have a healthy relationship.”
Jordan didn’t like the sound of that, because truth be told she would have no problem being around Jayon every minute of the day. However, she couldn’t admit that. Especially since he was expressing how he wasn’t quite as attached.
“Well, I understand that. I just think that we need to make some time for each other. If you don’t have a desire to spend time with me, that’s fine, but I can’t say I agree that everything will be just fine when you do find time.”
“Of course I have a desire to be with you, and I find time all the time. I see you at least a few times a week. So don’t make this something that it isn’t, J. I’m sorry you feel that way, but I have to go. A client is waiting on me.”
Jordan hung up almost wishing she’d never called him back. Of course, Jayon managed to make her feel needy and overly sensitive. Jordan hated coming off as if she was needy of anyone or anything. Still, she had to admit she did feel a bit happier when she was around Jayon. She didn’t know if that stemmed from her relationship with Omar, and having been used to always having someone at home with her, but either way, she knew that it wasn’t working out so well with Jayon.
As soon as she hung up, her secretary popped her head in the doorway, as she usually does when she sees the green light disappear on the phone.
“You have a Mr. Darren Williams here for you,” she said.
“Oh, okay. Send him in,” Jordan said, getting right back in the beat of things.
She began to remove some paperwork from directly in front of her, and before she was done, Mr. Williams was standingin her doorway.
“Hello, Darren,” Jordan said as she stood to shake his hand. “Take a seat.”
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