“Whatever, J, you can make this about me being insecure to avoid the fact that this is about me not being a fool while you disrespect me.”
“How am I disrespecting you, Jordan? You have obviously been looking for something and haven’t found anything.”
“I see stuff, just not worth mentioning just yet, and I am not looking.You have been going out so much; I don’t feel like I even know you anymore. Besides, let’s not forget that you cheated on me before, so excuse me if I’m trying to protect my heart.”
“You can’t protect your heart by invading my privacy, and I can’t be in a relationship where I have no privacy.”
“What does that mean?” Jordan said, hearing his threat loud and clear.
“I’m just saying that it’s not cool that you just go into my stuff, and I don’t want to be in a relationship where I have no privacy and nothing that I can have to myself.”
Jordan knew that she was wrong to read his e-mails and check his voice mails, she really did. Still, when he was missing or acting real funny, her mind couldn’t help but wander or assumethe worst, and then she would check in hopes to find out something instead of wondering. She never thought it was cool, she just thought it was necessary. Jordan knew there was not much more to say to Jayon. Nothing she had found lately was incriminating enough to throw in his face, so she just decidedshe would wait until some light was shed on the things done in the dark. Jordan let it go for the moment, and she and Jayon got off the phone soon after.
13
Jordan was mentally drained from all the back and forth with Omar about the arrangement with Jason. It had been a rough week between work and dealing with Jayon, and having Omar tell her that she couldn’t have Jason for the two weeks she was taking vacation was not what she wanted to hear right now.
“I don’t understand how you think you can just say no.”
“Simply, by saying no, Jordan.”
“You must be on something,” Jordan said, truly surprised by his response.
“I said you can have him either the two weekends or the two weeks, but two entire weeks straight is not gonna happen.”
“Why is it not going to happen, might I ask?”
“That’s too much adjusting for him. Me and Elisa have a routine with him already, and it will throw everything off.”
“Well, how about you and Elisa have a child of your own so you can stop planning your lives around mine? I have plans with my son, I’m taking off work to spend time with him, and you are not telling me I can’t have him because you and your fiance want to play house.”
“Jordan, I’m not having this argument.”
“There’s nothing to argue about. This is the second time you’ve tried to dictate when I could or couldn’t see my child, and I’m not sure what television show you think this is, but if you don’t get clear on some things, this whole little arrangementwill be switched up quick.”
“What does that mean?” Omar asked.
“That means you don’t have legal custody of Jason, and if you don’t stop this bullshit, I will be in court so fast arranging your visiting times with him you won’t even know how or when he moved out.”
“Please.You won’t get him.You didn’t want him, remember?”
Jordan was rendered speechless for a few seconds. That was a low blow, and Omar knew it. She wasn’t going to let him paralyze her for the moment.
“I always wanted my son; I was just trying to be a good mother thinking you were right that he needed to be around his father. Obviously I was wrong, and he spends more time with your incompetent fiancée than he does you, so don’t tell me I won’t get him ... I will show you just how bad I want him. I’ll see your ass in court.”
Before Omar could begin his clever comeback, Jordan hung up the phone. She was pissed deep down, even though she knew that she had read him his rights. She always knew that allowing Omar to have Jason wasn’t the best reflection of her motherhood, but she knew that her intentions were good. Although most mothers wouldn’t agree with her decision, Jordanhad to come to terms with it. At this point, it had gone too far, though. Jordan was tired of being told she couldn’t have Jason when she wanted him, and she was even more tired of the stories from Jason about things Elisa did to upset him. Omar didn’t want Jayon playing father to his son, and Jordan felt no different: she didn’t want Elisa playing mother to her son. It was only in her favor that she was the mother and the courts leaned in the mother’s favor, so since Omar wanted to get fly, Jordan was all riled up and ready for war.
The office had been pretty calm on this particular day; only a few clients had been in to visit, and the phones hadn’t been ringing off the hook. Initially, Jordan had been taking advantageof the calm before the storm to get some briefs and contracts drafted. However, moments after she hung up the phone with Omar, she called her assistant into the office and asked her to bring her the documents from the file room that she needed to start a custody hearing in the court system. Still releasing steam from her ears, and after a few drafts and phone calls to some legal friends that specialized in family and maritallaw, by 5:00 PM Jordan had the custody paperwork in the outbox to be filed in court and assigned a server to give Omar his papers. She knew Omar would be shocked seeing those papersso fast. He would know next time not to tell her that she wasn’t a good mother or that she didn’t want her child. Jordan left the office that day feeling great. She’d wanted her child back for some time, but she hadn’t wanted to invite the drama into her and her son’s life. But since she had finally taken the first step, she felt empowered. It took her mind completely off the fact that it had been three days and Marcus hadn’t called yet.
14
“You sure that’swhat you want to do?”Jayon asked, kind of surprised that Jordan had moved forward so quickly.
“I’m absolutely positive.”
“Can you handle it with work and all?”
“Can I handle it? Can I handle taking care of my child that I gave life to? Of course I will handle it.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that you’d have to adjust your work schedule and things.”
“I’ve done it before. Besides, he comes first. So worst-case scenario is I will have to work from home more.”
“That’s true, and you always have your mother.”
“Exactly, Jayon. Don’t worry, I won’t be expecting anything from you.”
“What’s that’s supposed to mean? Of course I would help out.”
“Well, just don’t worry yourself thinking that I’m going to be expecting you to fill anybody’s shoes. He has a father, and I won’t be asking you to take him to a basketball game or anything.”
“You tripping right now, Jordan. Nobody said any of that.”
“Well, I’m just being clear in case it crossed your mind. Don’t want you feeling pressured to see me more than a coupletimes a week or anything.”
“You know what, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later,” Jayon said, obviously frustrated.
In no mood to beg or deal with him, Jordan quickly agreed, “OK, talk to you later,” and hung up.
Jordan had been in a funk all morning. She had checked Jayon’s voice mail, and although she knew she was too grown to be doing that, she felt justified because of his unusual recent behavior. When she heard the messages, most were colleagues and friends, but two were from females that she didn’t know. Neither female left a very incriminating message, but from the tones of their voices it definitely could’ve been something going on. The curiosity was killing Jordan, but she didn’t want to play herself and ask about them when for all she knew it was nothing. Then it would only leave her having to explain her invasion of his privacy, and the tables could be turned real fast. So instead, Jordan just kept her anger and questions to herself,the best she could. She was mostly upset with Jayon for behaving in such a way that she had to even feel insecure in their relationship, and she was mad that he didn’t see what he was doing.
Jordan
had been sprawled out on her bed watching televisionwhile she was talking to Jayon, and she hadn’t moved since they hung up. She flicked through to some other channelswhile I Love New York went to commercial. She munched on the carrots that she had resting on her nightstand and twirled some strands of her hair around her fingers. This was one of the few times that she hung up the phone mad with Jayon and wasn’t still upset after the fact. She had nestled herselfback into her comfortable spot in the bed and gone on like she hadn’t even spoken to Jayon. Quite honestly, Jordan was getting a little tired of the whole Jayon show and their “dry patch” as Jayon called it.
Jordan had just rolled over to her side when she heard her cell phone vibrating on the nightstand. She reached past the carrots to pick up the phone and noticed before she even picked it up that it read “Marcus” on the display. She immediatelysat up and grabbed the phone. She looked at it for a secondlonger, cleared her throat, and answered.
“Hello,” she said, strategically not trying to sound too eager or too relaxed.
“Hello, there. This is Marcus, the guy you bumped into the other day.”
“I remember,” Jordan said, laughing. “Just trying to throw it in my face, huh?”
“Not at all,” he replied. “I’m just sure a lady like yourself meets a lot of guys every day, and I didn’t know if you would still remember me.”
“Well, it did take you some time to call, but lucky for you I don’t give out mine or take numbers often.”
“I’m sorry, I have been so busy with the moving in and getting settled and stuff, I barely had the time to do anything. But you’re right, I am lucky that I got your number and that you remembered me.”
Slightly laughing, Jordan replied, “So are you done unpacking?”
“For the most part,” he said. “I still have a lot of boxes to unpack, but I’ve gotten through most of the hard part.”
Jordan was curious as to what Marcus’s situation was, movinginto such a nice house by himself. She didn’t want to take the conversation in a personal direction; she would’ve been more comfortable with small talk for the entire conversation. However, she wasn’t sure if she would find another smooth segue unless she took advantage.
“So you didn’t have anyone to help you move in?”
“No, not really. One of my boys came through and helped me with the furniture, but the rest I did by myself.”
“So is it safe to assume you will be living there alone?”
“Yes, that’s safe to assume.”
“Wow, that’s a big house for one person. You won’t get lonely?” Jordan asked.
“It’s only a three-bedroom house. I needed some space. Besides, I was hoping that you could come keep me company on those lonely nights.”
Jordan couldn’t dispute that was a perfect opportunity to make a verbal move.
“I guess I set myself up for that one, being nosey,” Jordan said with a giggle.
“Yup, now you are obligated, since you are all concerned.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” she said.
“Well, honestly, I’m lonely right now.”
“Whatever,” Jordan said, laughing.
“I am. I have unpacked, got settled, and now I’m just sittinghere all alone.”
“Read a book or watch some TV.”
“Aw, damn. That’s cold,” Marcus said with a giggle.
“I’m sorry, not like that. I’m just making suggestions. I’m lonely right now too, and I have my television on.”
“Why don’t you come over?” he asked.
“Marcus, we barely know each other.You could be an axe murderer for all I know, and you just want me to come over.”
“OK, how about I come over there.You can take a picture of me as soon as I get there, e-mail it to everyone you know, and tell them if something happens to you, it was me.”
Jordan burst out laughing at his comment. She actually did one of her doofy laughs, one she was kind of embarrassed he got to hear so soon.
“That’s not necessary, Marcus, but it’s a great idea.”
“Whatever makes you feel comfortable.”
“Honestly, I’d be comfortable getting to know you better before we visit each other’s homes.”
“I respect that,” Marcus said, brushing off the rejection.
Jordan knew that his offer to come over was probably something she should have accepted being that she couldn’t get Jayon to come over because he was busy. Still, she knew that she was only entertaining Marcus because things had been so bad between her and Jayon. More than anything she was hoping that she and Jayon got on course soon. So Jordan wasn’t willing to do anything to disrespect her relationshipto where it could make things any worse than they were.
By the time Jordan got off the phone with Marcus, she found herself intrigued by his character. He was handsome, single, and living in a big, beautiful house all alone. Jordan didn’t ask too many inquisitive questions, because she didn’t want to overwhelm him. He already seemed a little surprised when he heard she was an attorney, so she decided to not fit a stereotype. They talked a bit about relationships and their situations, but they were both very vague. That was fine for Jordan, because she didn’t know what to say about her relationship anymore and she wasn’t too braggadocious about Jayon being the man she gave up on her marriage becauseof.
Jordan thought about the messages she heard for a little bit, but then she shook it off and went to bed. She was tired of worrying about Jayon and his whereabouts. She had hoped so many times that she was just strong enough to leave him alone. For some reason she loved him too much, and she couldn’t look at Jayon any other way than as that guy she could always count on. Even now, when he was constantly letting her down. It was hard to let go.
15
The street was filled with hundreds of people walking about. Halloween decorations were hanging up in all the stores, and the scary day was less than two weeks away. Jordan was tryingto hurry back from Columbus Circle at a meeting at ASCAP back down to Madison for a networking event she was meetingTayese at. She was standing at the corner when she felt her phone vibrate; she reached in her purse before she stepped off the curb to cross the street. She was hoping to hail a cab, but each new corner she tried, she hadn’t been successful. It was rush hour in New York City, and sometimes it would be faster to walk than to catch and travel in a cab.
Jordan saw that it was Jason calling her, and she answered quickly.
“Hi, hon,” she said, sounding excited.
“Hi, Mommy,” the little voice on the other end replied.
“How’s Mommy’s baby today?” Jordan said.
“I’m fine.... I wanted you to come pick me up tonight,” he said in one breath.
“Sure I will.You wanted to do something?”
“No, I just wanted to come home and sleep with you.”
“OK, you got it. I’ll be there as soon as I am done with work,” Jordan said.
“OK, I’ll see you soon. Can you bring my PSP?”
“I’m not going home first; you’ll get it when we get to the house.”
“OK,” Jason said.
“See you soon, babe. Make sure your father gets you ready to go.”
Once Jordan was off the phone, she realized that she had walked a full block and still hadn’t retrieved a cab. Then she looked down at her watch and realized that she had left her officeclose to thirty minutes ago. It was days like this that she hated working in New York City. Just as she had dropped her shoulders in frustration, she saw a yellow cab coming toward her with its yellow light on. Jordan began frantically waving her hand toward the cab. It was three lanes over, and it was looking hopeful that he would be able to cross over the lanes of traffic to pick her up, but the cab slowly passed right by her. Jordan, unaware of her visual tantrum, sucked her teeth and stomped her feet at the possibility passing her by. The sound of a horn blared out, and Jordan quickly turned around to see the cab double parked behind her. She let out a sigh of relief and
ran toward the cab.
Relieved to be sitting in a stuffy, slightly smelly bright yellowcar, Jordan told the man where she wanted to be and put her belongings down on the seat beside her to take a break for the fifteen-minute ride. She rested her head on the seat and closed her eyes for just a moment to pretend that she was actuallydone for the day. Her brief dream was interrupted by the vibration from her BlackBerry. She looked down and Omar had texted her. “Why did you tell Jason you’d pick him up without discussing it with me first?” Jordan read across her screen. She was livid. She was so sick of being treated like the stepmother in the situation. I gave birth to that child; I don’t have to discuss shit with anyone if I want to be with my child. Has he really lost his mind? Jordan began to write back to his text, and tried to remain civil and put her anger aside. “He is in your care at the moment, so if he was able to contact me from a telephone, I would assume you were aware of that. If not, I need to worry about the level of supervision he is getting, don’t I? Furthermore, he asked me to pick him up and I told him I would, simple as that. I will see you in a few hours. Please have him ready.”
Jordan went back to relax her head some.When Jordan had really bad news, whenever she got angry or upset she could feel her blood pressure rising; her heart would start beating fast and her breath would be at a loss. Although she wasn’t quite that upset yet, she could feel her pressure rising and tried her best to put the bold comment her ex-husband had made aside. She opened her eyes and looked out the window a few momentslater and noticed she wasn’t too far, so she whipped out her makeup bag and began to reapply her lip gloss and eyeliner.She tried to finger comb her hair and make herself crowd ready the best she could.
Moments later, she was pulling up in front of the address she had given to the cab driver. It didn’t look that lively from the outside, but that wasn’t too surprising since the attendees were mainly businesspeople. Jordan was used to some events having album release signs all over the place and promotional trucks everywhere. At least, that’s how most of the music and entertainment events looked on the outside. This was a more upscale and professional event. It was a mixer with one speaker who was addressing business growth and gaining clients. Jayon had told Jordan he would be there as well, but she hadn’t heard from him in a few hours and wasn’t sure what he decided.
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