by Kyle Vauss
I knew a hell of a lot about characters and creatures. And nowhere, either on the game wiki or fan forums, had I heard of a goblin who could speak English. The devs programmed ultra-rare quests for fun and to get people talking on the forums. I wondered if this was one of them.
I gripped my sword again. Talking NPC or not, I needed the EXP. Sleep was calling my name, and I desperately wanted to answer it.
Gabber became nervous again. “You don’t want to kill me,” he said. “I don’t have anything valuable. Just a few books. Well, a lot of books. But they’re not worth anything, I promise.”
“I’m not really interested in your books,” I said, unable to believe I was humoring the creature by talking to him.
“I know what you want,” said Gabber. “Gold, right? Money. Moola. Well, I know how to get you some.”
Now he was saying what I wanted to hear, but I still didn’t trust him. I kept a wary eye on his hands. If he reached for his dagger, I wasn’t going to get caught by surprise.
“I thought you said you don’t have anything valuable?”
He shrugged. “I’m bargaining for my life here. I’ll say anything.”
“Go on,” I answered.
“It all starts a long time ago, many miles north of the map.” Gabber held his hands out in front of him. “Picture this. A goblin is born. Fresh into the world, crying. He gets a slap on the bottom from a goblin healer. His mother looks at him, and she…”
“Is this your life story?” I said.
Gabber looked sheepish. “I thought you might need context.”
“Just cut to the part where you promise me money.”
Gabber heaved the weight of his rucksack on his back. “Okay, here it is. I seem to have strayed just a little more south than I’d planned, and now I’m slap bang in the middle of a human forest. I’ve sat here for an hour and watched you guys killing delvers and those spidery-snake things. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that I’m next.”
There was no use lying to him, so I nodded. “Yup.”
“Well I need to get out of here, but if I try to go alone, it won’t be long until a blade meets my pretty little neck. So, here’s the deal. You, you fine looking specimen of a human, will help me get out of the forest, and then away from human lands. And I, in return, will give you something.”
“What?”
“A dagger.”
“You want me to spend hours escorting you away from anywhere there might be players, just for a dagger? Daggers aren’t worth much, Gabber. You’re on your own.”
With the forest darkening as part of its day-night cycle, the trees had begun to settle into a brown color. The sun was starting to fade in the sky, and I was falling behind schedule.
I turned to leave Gabber alone, only to see Crawford walking toward me. The hunter’s grey hair streamed behind him as the wind blew it, and he had a wide grin on his face.
“Is that goblin talking to you?” he shouted across the forest.
With Gabber behind me and Crawford walking my way, I was beginning to doubt I’d even reach level 3 tonight. I was going to have to work the weekend at this rate.
Crawford carried on walking. “I’ve never heard of a talking goblin before,” he said. “And something tells me this little git is the mysterious creature I need for the trophy.”
He had a point. Gabber, in all likelihood, was a unique NPC. That meant that the trophy gained when killing him was rare. It was possible that it would help Crawford complete his Every Creature achievement.
This changed things. As much as I didn’t have the time for this, I felt like I could carve a chunk out of my evening to ruin the hunter’s plans.
“Do me a favor, shadow boy, and grab him,” said Crawford. “Hold him steady.”
I looked at Gabber. I didn’t want to help him, but anything that annoyed Crawford was worth doing. If that meant helping Gabber get out of player territory, so be it. It would be worth it to know I’d got one over on Crawford.
His eyes had widened even more, magnifying the ‘Help Me I’m a defenseless Puppy’ look. It wouldn’t wash with me.
“Follow my lead,” I told Gabber.
“You’re a pal,” said the goblin.
I shook my head. “No, I’m not. And if you start on one of your stories, I’ll just leave. Follow me.”
“Won’t he catch us? He looks faster than we are,” said Gabber.
He was right. Crawford was a higher level than us, and he was a hunter. I had a plan that would let us get away from him, but it wouldn’t help if we got caught straight away.
Gabber reached into his bag and pulled out a vial. A silvery liquid, thick like porridge, swam in it. “Drink this,” he said.
I shook my head. “We’ve only just met, and you’re offering me something that looks like oats with metal in them. No way.”
“It’s just something to help our speed,” said Gabber. “Trust me. Watch.”
Gabber tipped the vial to his mouth and drank half of it. He waited a second, rubbed his stomach, then passed the vial to me. I shrugged. There was no reason for Gabber to want to trick me, since I was helping him, and we could use every boost we could get. I drank it. The liquid, instead of tasting metallic, was sweet.
[Speed increased by 25%]
Brilliant. This gave us the edge we needed. As Crawford walked toward us, I ran by Gabber and through the forest, and I heard the patter of the goblin’s feet as he followed me.
I quickly opened the map screen as I ran, and checked I was going in the right direction. Correcting my course a little, I took us northeast. Soon the trees became sparse, and the forest began to give way to a swamp.
“Just you wait,” said Crawford, behind me. “After I’m done with the goblin, you’re next. I’ll spend my days just waiting for you to stray into a PK zone.”
Gabber huffed. He ran valiantly, keeping up with me on his tiny legs, leaping over rocks that dotted the rough terrain.
“Damn,” said Gabber.
A spider-snake had dropped from a branch and curled around his foot. I pulled out my sword and swiped at it, making sure I didn’t hit it too hard in case I accidentally struck Gabber. He wrenched himself free, and we sped out of the forest.
We found ourselves in the Dreckin Swamps. This was a place where players went after they got bored of the newbie forest and wanted to cut their teeth on something tougher. There was a quest that led you here, but I’d never bothered with it. I just knew it was a good area for levelling the shaman class.
The terrain became boggy. Most of it was taken up by pools of dark water. Every so often, rocks rose out from the ground. This was how we’d lose Crawford. The rocks provided cover. Since we couldn’t out run him, we’d have to keep to the shadows provided by the mounds of stone.
I ran forward a few meters, then darted to the right. Gabber followed me. I kneeled next to a rock ten feet taller than me, and I backed into a crevice. Gabber was about to run right by me, when I reached out and pulled him in my direction.
“Be careful with the skin,” he said, rubbing his arm. “It’s sensitive.”
The crevice was such a tight fit that Gabber was pressed against me. I could smell his goblin aroma; slightly boggy, with a hint of sweat. Gabber leaned close to me, sniffed, and then grimaced.
“You could use a shower,” he said.
I caught my breath. I could hear Crawford splashing through the swamp, but I couldn’t see him yet. Ahead of us, I saw Swamp Apes make their way through the muddy water. They were five feet tall and made of pure muscle. They were like primates in almost every way except for their skin, which had a grey tint to it. This afforded them some camouflage in the dull terrain. They were a new addition the swamp. Last time I’d been here, it had been full of dirt crabs.
Crawford made his way through the swamp, turning in every direction to look for us. Some of the apes saw him and attacked, and I watched in dismay as the hunter made light work of them with his crossbow. His reload speed was just
a second, and his 4-bolt weapon let him take out two or three of them at a time. If I had tried to fight the apes, I’d be lucky to kill one. And Gabber, well, he’d hardly get the chance to swing his toy dagger.
“This wasn’t what I had in mind,” whispered Gabber. “Are you lonely, or something? Do you need a hug? Because you could have just asked, you didn’t need to squeeze us in here.”
“Shut up,” I said. I watched as Crawford took down three apes with his crossbow, then moved on without looting them.
From watching his aimless runs from swamp to swamp, I knew that Crawford had no idea where we were. I didn’t like being so close to Gabber any more than he did. As Crawford ran into the distance I decided it was time to make a move.
Crawford had gone north. That meant that if we cut a trail south-west through the swamp, we’d lose him completely. I pushed Gabber out of the crevice.
“Steady on,” he said, rolling up his over-sized sleeves.
As we went south-west, we had no choice but to walk into the murky swamp waters, since there was no sure-footed ground around us.
“I’m getting my boots wet,” said Gabber. “I’d ask you to replace them, but you’re probably too cheap.”
“Just shut up and listen,” I said.
I heard something ahead of us. A rippling sound. It could have been the wind disturbing the water, but this was something else. My suspicions were confirmed when ten seconds later, the water in front of us exploded. Something shot up from underneath the surface.
It was a swamp ape. This one was taller than the others, towering over us. The gills on its back twitched as it breathed. I held my sword upright, but I knew there was no point. As a level 2 shadow walker, I had no chance.
I looked around. We could go back, but there was every chance we would run into Crawford. And with the way the swamp ape advanced on us, I knew we’d have to fight. There was no reason to take unnecessary risks and go for the kill. Instead, if I aimed my blows right and got lucky, I could cripple it and buy time to escape.
As I took a breath and got ready to strike, Gabber held up his hands. “I got this,” he said. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”
The ape advanced on us. As I wondered if the goblin was insane, he started to talk. But it wasn’t English this time. Nor was it his goblin tongue. Instead, the noises coming from Gabber’s mouth were decidedly ape-like.
The swamp ape stopped. It turned its head as though it was listening to Gabber. It spoke to the goblin in return, and I watched as the two of them seemed to lock into a deep conversation. I couldn’t make any sense of the primate-sounding words, but it seemed that the threat of the ape was lessening.
Finally, the ape nodded, stepped back, and then slid under the surface of the swamp. I couldn’t help smiling in disbelief.
Gabber turned to me and flashed me a wide grin. “Animal taming,” he said. “A skill I picked up when I was young. Works on dire wolves, delvers, ice golems, you name it. Well, it doesn’t work every time. My scar proves that. But when it does – man, what a skill!”
“Figures that one of your abilities would involve talking,” I said.
“Sorry,” said Gabber. “I forgot that it’s a sin to, you know, have a little conversation from time to time.”
Chapter Nine
After we cleared the swamp, we headed east across a hilly plain. The grass emitted a humming sound. As we walked across the plains the sounds changed, becoming high pitched in places, lower in others. Gabber’s light steps brought a sharp, piano-key type noise, whereas mine were more like the strings of a bass. The sounds followed us as we walked, the tink-tink-tink of Gabber’s feet joining the dom-dom-dom of mine. It was as though the entire plain was a musical instrument.
I checked my map. I stopped walking and stood with my arms crossed. “This is far enough,” I said.
The sun was gone now. Darkness settled over the plains, covering them in a layer of shadow. All hope of level 4 was gone now. I just wanted to get my reward from Gabber and then head back to the forest. If I could at least make some GD it would be a consolation.
Gabber settled down on the grass. He pulled his bag off his back, tugged on the strings and opened it. He rummaged inside for a while, before taking out a small, tattered notebook and a pen. He flicked through the pages and started writing.
“So, about the dagger you promised,” I said.
Gabber held a hand in the air, as if telling me not to break his concentration. I wondered what he was writing. I walked over to him and stood behind him, then kneeled so I could see.
‘Went into a swamp,’ he wrote. ‘Full of ape-like creatures that resembled the human I have met.’
“What the hell are you doing?”
Gabber sighed and shut the book. He carefully placed it into his bag, closed the sack, then stood up.
“I like to record what I’ve seen. I didn’t get much of a chance to see the world when I was younger. I’m hoping one day I can show this to my children. If I ever have any, of course.”
I looked around me. It seemed like we were alone on the plain. It made sense since there were no monsters of NPCs here. There wouldn’t be a reason for players to come this way.
“We’ve come far enough,” I said. “I held up my end of the deal. Now give me the dagger and we can say our goodbyes.”
I didn’t expect the dagger to be worth much, but it was a point of principle. A deal was a deal. And still, even if it was worth a few GD, it all added up.
Gabber opened his bag again, rummaged to the bottom, before pulling out the dagger. It had a silver hilt with red gems set into it. The blade seemed scratched. When he handed it to me and I looked closer, I saw that they weren’t scratches, but words. The item name appeared in front of me.
[Dagger of Alonoth]
Value – 1230
Attack Points – 11 (base)
Bonus: Alonoth’s anger adds 35 points to attack when a critical hit is scored
I quickly pulled up the Infarna wiki and cross checked the dagger against an item list. When I did, I almost dropped it in surprise. This was no measly blade. This thing was a semi-rare item, and it was worth at least 500 GD in a real-life auction. Auctions never brought in the full item price.
“Where the hell did you get this?” I said, turning the dagger over in my hand.
Gabber shrugged as though it was nothing. “I grabbed it from the clan treasury before I had to make a hasty exit.”
Goblin NPCs lived in clans. I’d never seen one, but I knew of them. Most of them were miles away, so it didn’t make sense for Gabber to be here.
“What are you doing down here?” I asked.
Gabber looked at me. “I heard there was a map maker around here.”
“You’re right. He’s called Haskins. He’s lives in a shack west of the newbie village.”
Gabber nodded. “Well yeah, I know that now. I just didn’t bank on there being so many humans around. After I got my map, I realized there were plenty of barbarians who wanted to gut me. I even saw an illusionist hitting snakes with a staff.”
He must have meant Loria. I wondered how she was getting on, and whether she’d gone to the valley that I had suggested. There was something about her I liked.
“Why’d you need a map, anyway?” I asked.
Gabber moved his bag and then sat down on it. He shifted position until he was comfortable. “I need to get somewhere. I have some friends who are in trouble.”
“You have friends?” I said. “Hard to believe.”
“You’re not exactly Mr. Popular yourself, bully.”
“Bully? I’m not a bully.”
Gabber looked at me strangely. “Bully is the human colloquial term for a friend.”
“You mean buddy,” I said.
My in-game alarmed chimed again. I didn’t have long left to play. Part of me thought that tonight had been a welcome change. Something different. I shook the thoughts away. I needed to get the character finished and delivered
.
“I need to go, Gabber. If you head out again, you better be careful. Look out for any settlements and villagers, and cut a wide berth around them. And here, take this,” I said.
I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. I pulled out my last HP potion from my bag and handed it to him. Gabber took it from me and shook the glass vial. The red liquid wished against the sides. He handed it back.
“I can’t drink human potions,” he said. “They do me more harm than good. And believe me, I’ve tried. I ended up squatting over a ditch for two days straight.”
“Well take care, anyway,” I said. “And good luck.”