He shook his head dully. It still ached, though not as badly, as he felt as making as little sound or motion as possible. “I think the stress of losing your fellow trainers in such a shocking way has been too hard for you,” the woman said. Nathan looked up in surprise. Was she agreeing with his opinion? His suspicions? For that's all they were. Suspicions. He had no real concrete proof. “Am I right?” she asked.
He considered answering in the affirmative, but wasn't sure if that would make him fall into her trap, so he did nothing. It didn't help that he couldn't see her face, so that was another way in which he wasn't sure of her emotions. He was sick of all the secrecy, the darkness and the web of deceit that pushed its way through the facility and in all probability spread like a rottenness cancer through the rest of the world.
She threw aside her hood.
He was more shocked than he could say, for the simple reason that he'd never seen a woman before. He knew the leaders were different, especially their voices, and some of their clothes were very different, but he wasn't sure what was underneath the hoods. Now he did. For all practical purposes, the woman standing in front of him wasn't all that different from the boys he'd been used to seeing, at least in the face, but there was a different quality about her that obviously set her apart, only he couldn't lay a finger on it.
“You're privileged,” she said coolly. “No other boy has ever seen one of us.”
“Why? It's not all that terrible,” Nathan said, some of his bravery coming back, now that he could better read the emotions in her eyes.
“None of your business.”
“And why did you let me see?”
“This is serious business. We should talk face to face. And it was getting stuffy in there.” Nathan stared at her, not only because it was so strange to finally see one of their faces, but also because she seemed a completely different person without the hood. More human, in a way. He made no comment, however, not deeming it wise – or polite.
“We leave for the Capitol in five days to swear allegiance to the new queen,” she remarked. Nathan clenched his fists. He would've done something else if he'd not been tied to the bed. He didn't want to swear allegiance to someone who had brought about Hunter's death. He reproached himself for having let his guard go down so much. He vowed it would not happen again.
“You will be coming, of course,” she continued, “but I'm going to give you three days outside of the facility before that to help your head to clear. Ordinarily, we don't do that, but this is a special case.”
“How so?” Nathan asked. His heart had thrilled for a moment at the thought of three whole days of freedom, but it wouldn't really be freedom. He'd be watched, of that he was sure, and once he came back everything would go back to being the same, but he'd also have to swear allegiance to the new queen.
Her easy demeanour slipped into biting anger. “You know our secret.”
“What-?”
“This room. The room next to it.”
So they were afraid of his knowledge. He was careful not to let it show, but inside he was elated. It would be easier to manipulate emotions if they were afraid, or angry, and if they were both, well, that was just icing on the cake. “I searched for it before,” he said, “but I couldn't find it. Why?”
“That's not for you to know.” He didn't really expect her to answer, but by keeping her talking, information could slip out that would be useful. He had two goals now. Avenge Hunter's death, and help the children. One would revenge Hunter's death, the other would honour his memory. But he must not let anyone know of his plans. There were too many spies everywhere.
When he kept silent, the leader let out an exasperated sigh and said in a condescending tone of voice, “Fine. I'll tell you. These rooms have been designed to move from one part of the building to another every few hours. The sensation is so smooth that it's never even noticed.” Overwhelming pride filled her face and voice, and Nathan bit back a smile. Her pride would be her destruction although, of course, she didn't know that.
“Now go,” she commanded, her face changing once again to a smooth mask, hiding any emotions. She slipped her hood back on and then handed him a small card made out of sort of unbendable smooth plastic. “Wave this at the door, and it'll open. It's a pass.”
He knew what it was. He'd seen many other women wave such passes at the doors as they went out. The possession of such a thing filled him with exhilaration. He already had a plan for saying he lost it when he came back and then keeping it to use for future outings. “And,” she added, “you must keep off the roads and highways during the day. And away from any houses. It's only at night you can come out to the towns.”
He nodded. She came over to him and released him from the cot he was lying on. He left.
:::::
Freedom at last.
Nathan hunched down in a small natural grove of trees, a few yards away from the main road that ran through most of the towns he and the other boys worked at. It was not exactly freedom, of course, but much better than nothing. The pure, warm, summery, evening air filled his lungs and the sky was a hazy golden red as the sun dipped under the horizon.
He could have stared at it for forever, but he also wanted to keep going and put as much distance between him and the facility as he could in the three days allotted him. Then, perhaps, he could miss out on the journey to the Capitol, depending how long it took him to get back. Or maybe he could simply not come back. The thought was intriguing at first, but he soon dismissed. There were too many sophisticated tracking devices.
The trees around him made a natural little 'tree cave', blocking him from almost the entire outside world. He felt cozy and safe and comforted. It was the most peaceful he had felt since Hunter's death, even though he still had a somewhat unpleasant, tense feeling in his gut. No matter. He had a purpose now, two actually, and that would keep him busy enough to take away the unpleasant feelings.
It was peaceful until he heard the rustling behind him.
The sound was faint, hardly there at all, but his ears had picked it up and he knew it was not from the gentle little breezes that were coming and going around his head. It had been too sudden and pronounced. Too stealthy.
He was being watched.
But of course he was being watched. Hadn't he already known that would come along with his freedom? It didn't make any difference. Anger filled him. He was tired and frustrated with being watched constantly – and for what purpose. Moving slowly and as silently as possible, he suddenly jumped up and burst through the small canopy of vines that swayed behind him. His hands grabbed on to something even before his eyes saw what it was.
A Guard Woman.
Nathan loosened his grip for a moment as she screamed a bloodcurdling cry and fought to get away. She pulled out a knife, her eyes glinting dangerously behind her mask. He hesitated for a moment and then pulled out Hunter's knife. How had it got to this so quickly? The sound, his anger, the attack, and then retaliation. The Guard Women were always looking for an excuse to throw their power around, or so he had heard from Hunter, so he shouldn't have been surprised with the way things had turned out.
She slashed at him with her knife, but he jumped away, holding his knife out protectively. Again she came at him and this time her knife connected, its blade slashing against his arm and drawing a healthy streak of blood. He glanced down at his arm, saw the redness, and then his entire vision seemed to go red and he charged at her, blind with anger.
He connected, only he didn't know where. It was only when he pulled back that he saw what he had done. The woman lay dead at his feet, the knife protruding from her heart. He felt sick to his stomach when he saw what he had done in his anger. He pulled the knife out and threw it a few feet away. He staggered to the nearest tree and leaned against it, breathing heavily. He remembered what Laii had said about his anger, and he knew it was true. He had killed someone because of it.
She was a Guard Woman, true, but that didn't make it any less painful
. It was the first time he had ever done such a thing and it sickened him. There was only one thing to do, and he didn't want to. Keep moving. If he stayed around, other Guard Women would come, of that he was sure, and if they found him, he was a dead man. He retrieved his knife, plunged it into the earth a couple of times to clean most of the blood off it and then stood for a moment, trying to decide what to do with the body. He didn't want to touch it, but to hide it, that's exactly what he'd have to do.
Gingerly, he took the guard by the hands – he was thankful she was gloved – and pulled the body over into a large thicket of bushes. He hoped that would hide the body for as long as he needed to appear to be just an innocent bystander if anything came up. He wasn't callous, but he felt like it at that moment.
He felt exhausted by all that had happened. Without another look back he ran away, as far as possible and as fast as he could in his tired state. He ran to get away from the terrible memories that refused to stick with him no matter how far he went. Perhaps if he ran fast enough, he could avoid them this time.
:::::
Nathan wasted his three free days wandering around from forest to forest, gathering enough food to keep him from being hungry, and staying out of the other Guard Women's way, not letting them know that he knew they were there. He had been given a bag with a few supplies – a day's worth of dried food, some matches, a flask of water, a small mirror – but he had long since finished the water and the food and the mirror had shattered the first time he tried to use it. All that were left were a few matches. He stuffed those in his pocket and then took his bearings.
The third day was almost up. He'd have to be getting back to the facility soon. He let out a sigh. He didn't want to leave this place of tranquillity. Even though he was watched and he had to stay hidden during the day and he'd been caught in a shower of rain one afternoon, he wouldn't have it any other way. The thought of being cramped up in the facility, large as it was, was enough to make his mind rebel. So why couldn't he just run away?
The Guard Women were one reason. They'd shoot him down if he showed any signs of bolting. And if they didn't do that they'd use their own their own tracking devices and have him back in no time. But there was a deeper reason. He could kill the guards just as he had that one earlier, but he didn't want to do any more killing than necessary. And, he had to admit it, there was a tiny part of him that actually wanted to go back. He couldn't understand it, or explain it, but it was there nonetheless. He tried to push it from his mind, but it was still there.
He rubbed his forehead, trying to get rid of those feelings, and as he did so, an image flashed into his head. It was there for less than an instant, and he tried to recall it, tried to make sense of what it had been. It was the feeling of lying on a hard, thin mattress, with the uncomfortable sensation of extremely thin needle-like wires being pushed into tiny slits on his head. It was exactly painful, but neither was it pleasant. The wires sent a strong pulse that seemed filled with jumbled names and sentences and feelings and that was when the memory ended.
He tried thinking again of how he wanted to go back, but nothing came of it. He shrugged. It was obviously a memory from his childhood, but he had no idea what it meant. Anyway, the sun was almost level with the ground, so he hiked back to the facility. As he saw the building drawing nearer, his pulse quickened. What was it about this place that had such a powerful, unwanted draw on him? He didn't want to think about it.
Chapter 6 – Fugitive From Non-Justice
Laii met him at the door. She coughed a little and merely said, “I'm glad you came back. Did everything work out all right?”
What was she referring to? His meeting with the leader or his three days outside the facility? He decided that a simple nod was the best recourse, so that's what he did. She seemed to relax, so it must have worked well. “You must hurry and pack your things,” she said. “We're leaving sooner than expected. Tonight.”
“Sure.”
He went to his room, ignoring the curious stares he got from the other boys and trainers and threw a few of his things into the duffel bag that had been given to him. He remembered the matches in his pocket and threw the box in as well. A plan was already formulating in his head. He would not swear allegiance to the new queen, for once he did so, he really would be bound to her. He would go with them to the Capitol, but he would escape once they were there.
He would kill the queen.
Nathan wasn't sure how he would do it, but he would. If the top of the system was destroyed, the rest could easily follow. He didn't like killing, but for Hunter's sake, and for the sake of finding out where his memories came from and how to rescue the children, it would have to be done.
Ethan popped his head into Nathan's cubicle door. “Good to see you back,” he said.
Nathan nodded. “How have things been while I was gone?”
Ethan shrugged. “Okay, I guess. A lot of the littler boys have been crying a lot.”
He felt his blood heat up with anger as he remembered that it was not just himself who'd been affected by the battle against the new queen. Almost every boy and trainer in the facility had lost at least one friend or brother or cousin. All the more reason to seek revenge. He figured it would be the same for the boys and trainers from the other facilities around the world and hoped that there was someone in those facilities who had a thirst for vengeance as well and would take care of what needed to be done. Perhaps they could band together and work as a team.
“Ready to go?” Ethan said, looking at Nathan's duffel bag. “Doesn't seem like a lot in there.”
“It's enough,” Nathan said curtly. He didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. “We'll not be gone more than a few days at most, right?”
Ethan nodded. Nathan wanted to get the message across that he wanted to be left alone without actually saying it. Then, he realized that he would probably never see Ethan again. He had no illusions as to the danger of his mission, he hardly had a well-thought out plan anyway, and even though Ethan wasn't a blood relation or ever a particularly close friend, he still felt responsible for the lad's welfare. He had to be sure to say goodbye before he escaped.
“Oh, Laii sent me, actually,” Ethan said.
“Oh? What did she want?”
“It's not what she wants so much. She was sent as a messenger, I think, to tell you that Sella wants to see you.”
“Sella?”
Ethan fidgeted with a little tag that hung from around his neck and then shoved it under his shirt. He seemed a little flustered, but answered, “Sella. She's the head of this facility. I thought you knew that. She's the one who gave you the three free days.”
Nathan felt a little chill go through him. He didn't want to have another meeting with her in the creepy room, where the atmosphere felt so oppressive and her snaky eyes cut into him, even through her hood. He could feel them. And, of course, when she had taken off her hood it had just gotten worse.
“I'll go,” he said. “Do you know where-?”
“I can show you,” Ethan answered. He walked out of the room and Nathan followed behind, having to walk swiftly to keep up. Ethan's manner had changed and he didn't know why. It was all very puzzling.
“So, you've returned,” the woman called Sella said.
She and Nathan were alone in a small room off the Great Hall – the very room that Nathan had been branded in. Just the sight of the room had sent chills through him, and his heart rate had sped up, leaving him short of breath and his palms sweaty with moisture. He never wanted to go through something like that again.
“As you see,” Nathan answered. He was determined to keep just as cool and calm as she was, and not lose in this battle of nerves. He would navigate her smooth lies and two-faced promises and maybe even pay her back in her own coin. She didn't, couldn't know about his plot to kill the queen and there was nothing else she could really threaten him with. Unless-
There was the dead guard, of course, but it was highly unlikely that it could be
traced to him. She was speaking again, so he paid attention. “Did you enjoy your time out there?”
He nodded noncommittally. “It gave me time to think.”
“Oh?” From her voice, he suspected she was arching one brow and maybe had a look of slight surprise. “What kind of things did you think about?”
With a quick movement he reached over and tore off her mask and hood. Her face was shocked at first and he took full advantage of her surprise. “Last time I talked with you, you had the courtesy to speak face to face with me. Let's continue that, shall we?” If she was going to bring up the dead guard, he wanted her to know that he wasn't afraid of confrontation. Not in the least.
“Of course,” she said, her voice and face returning to its normal calm. “I would've taken off my hood anyway.” Even though her demeanour seemed to be calm, little things about her showed otherwise. Her fists clenched and unclenched and a sheen of perspiration appeared on her forehead. She bit her lip and waited for him to speak, or at least that's what it felt like. He obliged.
“I also want you to discard all of this parrying. My time is valuable, especially since we're leaving tonight. Why did you want to see me?” Nathan surprised himself with his own daring but he pushed the surprise away. This is who he was now. Strong, bold, brave, for Hunter's sake, and his own.
“I wanted to ask you just one question,” she said, coolly measuring him with her eyes. She paused a moment before she asked the question. “Why did you come back?” He opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, she spoke again. “You could have escaped. Killing two or three guards isn't very different from killing one, is it?” Her eyes were bright as she regarded him, and Nathan knew that she knew that he knew she held all the cards again.
Vengeance Is Mine Page 7