The Wrong Goodbye

by Amy Sparling

  When we get back to my car, I walk Alexa to her door. I’m about to open it, but she stops me and turns around, pressing her back to the door. “I had an amazing night,” she says. Her hands wrap around my neck and I grab her waist and breathe her in, telling myself to enjoy every single second of this time with her.

  We kiss, and I try to keep it PG since we’re in a parking lot, but my body is dying for more. I break away and rest my forehead on hers. “Alexa?” I breathe.

  “Yeah?” Her voice comes out like a pant of air.

  “Why did you leave?”

  I know we promised not to talk about it, but I can’t wait anymore. I need to know. I have to know whatever I did to scare her away so I can make sure I won’t do it again.

  She licks her lips then looks away, her eyes going to the buttons on my shirt. “I don’t know.”

  “I think you do.”

  She sighs. “I just … felt like I wasn’t good enough … for you.”

  I want to laugh and ask if she’s telling a joke because that’s so impossibly wrong of her to think. But I can tell by her expression that she’s serious. I see the insecurity swirling around those gorgeous eyes, landing on the tremble in her lips.

  “Alexa, you are everything I’ve ever wanted,” I say, then I pull her to me for another kiss.

  I had been worried that I did something wrong and that she left because of it. All this time it turns out it wasn’t what I had done, but what I hadn’t done. I hadn’t shown her how special she was. Hadn’t told her enough times that even though we’d just met, she was the girl for me. I let her get away because I didn’t make sure that she knew how I felt for her.

  I deepen the kiss—her body pressed against my car, my hands holding tightly to her waist—and I make a promise to myself that I’ll never again let her feel unwanted. For as long as I’m breathing, she will know that she is the most important thing in the world.

  Chapter 21

  Even the harsh Texas weather isn’t so bad when your arm is wrapped around the guy you can’t stop thinking about. Our walk around the lake was dreamy and romantic, and I didn’t even break out in a sweat. It’s like mother nature decided to give us a break from the drenching hot weather we had earlier today, and instead she gave us a little breeze. Now we’re back in Gabe’s car, and he finds his way back to the bakery without using the GPS. When I question him about it, he just shrugs and says he’s pretty good at remembering directions.

  Is it weird that I find that sexy? Everything he does is sexy to me, but that skill is just cool. I’m always relying on my GPS even if I’m pretty sure I know the way. If I’ve only been somewhere once or twice, I don’t want to risk getting lost.

  He pulls over to the side of the road in front of the bakery. I reach for my purse and stare at my keys inside.

  I look over at him. “Are you … staying longer?” I ask. “I mean, like … want to come to my apartment?”

  He grins. “Only if you want me.”

  “I do.”

  “Then yes.”

  I reach for my keys and then stop. “I don’t really want to drive home,” I admit. I move my hands to the air between us and make a pouting face. “I don’t want to stop being near you.”

  He chuckles. “So don’t leave. Just tell me where to go.”

  I bite my lip and drop my purse to the floor. My apartment is pretty close to Main Street, so we’re there in no time. Gabe walks beside me as I head up the concrete stairs that lead to my second story apartment. Mentally, I’m scanning through my place, hoping I left it clean before I went to work today. Has it really only been a few hours since I left this morning? Everything has changed since then.

  I unlock my front door and these tingles of giddiness flow through me because Gabe is standing right behind me. How many nights have I come home from a long day of work only to open this door alone and slink into depression as soon as I hit the bed? Those nights are over. I hope.

  We walk inside and I’m grateful to see that there’s no stray bras or dirty dishes lying around. My place is pretty clean. When I’m sad I tend to clean, and I’ve been pretty sad lately.

  “So this is my place,” I say. I walk across the room and turn on the lamp in the living room, which will cast a softer glow than the harsh light overhead.

  “Cute,” Gabe says. He gives a nod of appreciation as he looks over my place. “And colorful.”

  I walk up and put my hands on his chest. “So how long can you stay?”

  “As long as you want me.”

  Forever and ever, I think. “Well, good. Can you watch TV or something for like fifteen minutes because I absolutely have to shower. It’s bad enough that I went on a date with you in my work clothes, but, yeah, I need to get the smell of kitchen off me.”

  “You smell wonderful,” he says.

  I kiss him. “Good. Keep up those lies … I like them.”

  He smacks my butt playfully as I shimmy off to my bedroom and close the door. I make the water hot and I put my hair in a bun so it won’t get wet. My hair is so long and thick that it takes an hour to dry, and I’m not about to waste that kind of time when Gabe is here. Plus I washed it this morning so it’s still clean. I soap every inch of my body with my expensive Lush soap so that I’ll smell like a flower. I shave every inch that needs to be shaved, and then I get out and search my closet for something sexy to wear. I own a ton of cute dresses and tops, but not exactly many cute items of lingerie. I know I’m overweight, so I never venture into those stores anyway. But Gabe has seen my body and he likes it. So I need something. I can’t just walk back out there in leggings and an oversized T-shirt like I’d normally wear.

  I stare at the contents of my closet as the seconds tick by. I’m trying to be as fast as possible so he won’t get bored and want to leave. Then my eyes land on something I forgot I owned. A dark purple silk robe from France. It was late at night a few years ago, and I’d been watching a TV show where the two hosts traveled around to beautiful places. I longed so bad to travel, and when the TV show hosts went into a silk shop and looked at the robes, I’d gone online and ordered one for myself. I just had to have a piece of France, even if I would never wear it. My fingers slide down the soft silk, adorned with lace. It’s elegant and beautiful and cost over two hundred dollars. I slide it off the hanger and hold it up to my naked body as I look at the mirror. It’s so beautiful I think it might hide my flaws just because no one would notice them under the gorgeous purple silk.

  I slip it on, and then debate on wearing underwear or not. My nipples poke through the thin fabric, and I have to admit, I look pretty damn hot as is. So I brush my hair and then sweep it over my shoulder, and then I take one big courageous breath and step out into the living room.

  Gabe’s watching TV, but he looks over when he hears my door open. He freezes, and I’m pretty sure that’s a good sign. I want to run back into my room and dive into the closet and not resurface until I’m fully clothed. But I won’t. I won’t give into my insecurities tonight. I want to finish what we started in that hotel room.

  “Holy shit,” Gabe says. He goes to stand up, but I hold out my hand.

  “Sit.”

  He swallows and promptly sits back down. I do my best version of a sexy saunter as I make my way over to him, and the way his eyes roam over my body tells me I’m probably doing a good job.

  I walk over until I’m standing directly in front of him on the couch. He sits forward and slides his hand up my bare thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps over my freshly shaved skin. My heart is pounding, but I want this more than my insecurities. I give him a sultry grin and reach up and pull the silk band that ties around my waist. The robe slides open, giving him a peak at my bare breasts, and all the skin down to my toes.

  The look he gives me sends a warm jolt of pleasure straight through me. The robe has totally worked. “Take them off,” I say, nodding toward his jeans.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he drawls as he quickly unzips and removes his pants.
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  I move forward and crawl on his lap, my knees straddling him on the couch. His eyes meet mine. “Damn, you’re beautiful,” he whispers as he takes my head and pulls my neck to his lips. I close my eyes and let him kiss the sensitive flesh all the way down to my breasts. I retrieve the condom I’d put in my pocket before leaving my room, and hand it to him.

  “You sure?” he says.

  “Mhm,” I say with a nod as I bend forward and kiss his neck.

  While he works the condom, I unbutton his shirt and pull it off, exposing his sculpted chest, which is every bit as gorgeous as I remember.

  When he’s ready, I hold onto his shoulders and lift my hips over his. He grabs my thighs, his hands sliding up to my butt, where he slowly lowers me on top of him. I gasp at the feel of him, and he shudders against me, his eyes closing and his mouth slightly open. It’s the sexiest look I’ve ever seen. All my nervousness washes away the moment he pulls my hips against his. Gabe and I are perfect for each other. We fit together in a way I’ve never known with any other man. He rocks into me slowly, passionately, his hands roaming over my body under the robe, and his lips kissing me all over. I hold him tightly to me as we bring ourselves to a glorious finish. My heart is racing, my body is flushed with heat and passion and the delightful feel of his lips on my skin.

  I lean against his chest and he cradles me in his arms. We are still connected, and I can feel his heart beating against my chest.

  “That was … amazing,” he says, his voice deep and gravelly against my cheek.

  I nod, but I’m too out of breath to say anything.

  I feel his chest tighten, and then I am lifted into the air. Gabe stands up, holding me tightly to him. I giggle as he makes his way toward my room, and then sets me down on the bed.

  “I’ll be right back,” he whispers as he slips into my bathroom to take care of business. When he returns a moment later, I’m still laying on the bed, still wearing my robe to make me feel less exposed. Gabe grins as he crawls into bed beside me, his naked body glowing in the dim lighting. This man is so gorgeous I can’t stand it. He pulls me to him and I lean against his bicep, inhaling his manly scent. We cuddle together until our heartbeats slow, and the air is filled with a lingering passion. I’m totally ready to go again, but I’ll let him take the lead this time.

  I lift up to look at him. “Gabe?”

  “Yes, beautiful?”

  “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

  A smile plays across his lips. “I would love to stay over.”

  A few moments pass and he says my name.

  “Yes, handsome?” I say, copying his reply from earlier.

  He rolls me onto my back and he leans up on his elbow beside me. His hand slides under the edge of my robe and gently cups my breast before he feels down my side, to my thigh, and then back up again. “Want to go again?”

  I pull him toward me for a kiss. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Chapter 22

  I think the whole office loses their minds when I call in sick on Friday. Well, I don’t exactly say I’m sick, but I tell Janie that I won’t be in, and I haven’t taken a day off in forever, so she reacts as if I’d told her I had the plague. She freaks out and offers to bring me medicine or take me to the doctor. I tell her not to worry, that I’m just out of town unexpectantly.

  I had clients and meetings and work to do, but I couldn’t bother to pull myself away from Alexa. Not after the night we’d had together. When I wake up this morning, she is still in bed with me. Of course, it is her apartment so I don’t know where she would have gone. But the fear was real. I’d fallen asleep cuddling her in my arms, and still had the worry that when I woke up she’d be gone just like the last time.

  But she’s here. We drifted apart during the night, and now she’s on her side instead of her back, her soft hair cascading down her shoulders and falling over the pillow. She sleeps peacefully as the first rays of morning light filter through her purple curtains. The color reminds me of her robe, which is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. I hope she wears it every night for the rest of our life. Right now the sheets are covering most of her body, but I can still see a hint of purple silk over her shoulders.

  I glance around her room and take in the little bits of her personality that’s in the décor. She has black and white photos on her walls. Bluebonnets, which are the Texas state flower, beautiful sloping plains and a river. Her bedsheets are an array of dark colors with a mandala print. She doesn’t have a TV in her bedroom, but she does have a shelf packed high with books. I can picture myself waking up here every weekend. My apartment is all stiff furniture and boring décor. Alexa’s place feels like home.

  I breathe in deeply and thank my lucky stars that I’m here. My risky trip was worth it and now my new life with the woman of my dreams is just beginning. I close my eyes and drift back asleep.

  When I wake up, she’s gone.

  My heart hammers in my chest as I bolt up in her bed, looking around for any sight of her. Then I hear a soft humming from the other room. The smell of bacon hits me at the same moment I recognize the sound of it sizzling in a pan. I get up and pull on my jeans that I find folded neatly on the nightstand beside me. I hope she didn’t bring my clothes in here as a sign that I need to leave.

  I step into the living room which is small enough to also see into the kitchen. Alexa’s back is to me, and she’s now wearing black leggings that hug her ass perfectly, and a gray tank top. She turns around after getting a carton of eggs from the fridge.

  “Good morning,” she says. “Nice hair.”

  I run my hand over my head, feeling the wild strands that have gotten untamed overnight. “Yet you are still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I say as I attempt to wrangle my hair into submission.

  She grins and goes back to cooking. “How do you like your eggs?”

  “Any way is fine,” I say walking up to her.

  “Scrambled with seasoning and cheddar it is.” She smirks and tosses some orange seasoning into a bowl.

  I slide my hands around her waist and pull her back up against my chest while she cooks. “Need some help?”

  “No,” she says, shaking her head. “I appreciate it, but my kitchen is kind of my thing. You go sit down. Coffee is over there.” With her spatula, she points to the coffee pot on the counter. I make a cup and then sit across from her at the tiny bar. Alexa is absolutely stunning. Even this early in the morning, and she’s still a goddess. Her long hair shines in the sunlight filtering in from the windows. Her curvy body looks absolutely amazing in those tight clothes. I watch her while she cooks and see the passion she puts into the work she does. Her hands move over the food like an artist creating a painting. Everything she puts into her cooking is done with love and skill.

  “When does the bakery open?” I ask.

  “Two hours ago,” she says. “I asked Livi and Keesha to run it for me today.” She puts another piece of bacon on the frying pan. “Is that okay?”

  “It’s perfect,” I say. “I actually called in sick to work.”

  She grins. “We probably shouldn’t make this a habit.”

  I shrug. “I say we quit our jobs and spend the rest of our lives snuggled up in bed.”

  She laughs and takes a sip of her coffee. Her mug is hot pink and says bakers do it better. “That’s not very practical.”

  “I know, but let me daydream,” I say.

  I offer to help her cook breakfast again, but she declines. She says all I need to do is bring my appetite. When she’s finished, I pile my plate high with pancakes, eggs, and bacon, and she puts some music on that plays through speakers in every corner of the room.

  “This is the most amazing pancake I’ve ever had,” I say over a bite of fluffy deliciousness.

  “Baker’s secret,” she says with a wink. “My mom taught me the trick to fluffy pancakes and I’ve never seen anyone else know how to do it.”

  I take another bite. “I’m pretty sure they
make the pancakes this way in heaven.”

  Her smile softens a little. She glances up as if she’s remembering something, but she doesn’t tell me what it is. Soon the moment passes, and we’re back to talking about any and everything. She’s the easiest person to talk to. I’m never bored, and I’m always happy when we’re sharing thoughts with each other.

  I love hearing her stories about the bakery and listening to tales of her life. She’s like a fascinating puzzle and each new piece I find gives me something more to like about her.

  After breakfast, I insist on washing the dishes and she takes my place at the bar and watches me work. When the dishes are done, I look up at her. “I want to kiss you so bad.”

  “So what are you waiting for?” she says sarcastically.

  I flick some dish soap suds at her. “I haven’t brushed my teeth, so I’m feeling pretty gross.”

  “There’s extra toothbrushes in the bathroom,” she says. “I already picked one out for you. It’s blue.”

  “You think of everything,” I say.

  She shrugs one shoulder. “What can I say? I’m perfect.”

  I dry my hands on a dishtowel. “Yes, yes you are.”

  In the bathroom, there’s a new toothbrush and travel sized toothpaste laid out for me. Alexa is the sweetest thing ever. I brush my teeth and fix my hair in the mirror. I don’t know what the day holds, and I should probably go home and change clothes soon, but I’m excited to spend more time with her.

  “You know what I need?” I ask as I walk back into the kitchen. Alexa is standing at the counter pouring another cup of coffee. She looks up at me expectantly. “Your number,” I say. “I don’t want to lose contact with you again.”