CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Ice
SHE FELT SO perfect in my arms and what she just did to me, while so simple, was exactly what I needed. It didn’t have to be rough with her for it to be hot. I didn’t need any toys or fantasies like some of my friends did. Every time I touched her, it was like fire was shooting through my body, burning me alive from the inside out. I craved her with every beat of my heart. “I can’t get enough of you,” I whispered, sure that she was asleep already. She sighed and then her hand came to rest over my heart. “Love you,” she mumbled. My body stiffened. Love? I didn’t do love. This was never about love. We had agreed. This was just supposed to be a good time that was mutually beneficial. Sure, I loved fucking her and I was probably a little more attached than I should be, but it definitely wasn’t love. It was lust, pure and simple. I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. I didn’t want to leave her arms, but I also knew that I couldn’t be there in the morning. I needed to put some distance between us before this got out of control. As the sun started peeking over the horizon, I slipped out of bed and limped into the kitchen. My leg was killing me this morning and I needed to change the bandage. I popped a few pain pills and swallowed them down with day old coffee. Disgusted with it, I made new coffee as I tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do. I needed help now and unfortunately, I couldn’t turn to all of my friends for help. They would all tell me to go with it and just see what happens. I needed to talk to someone that could actually give me advice on how to not lead her on any further. I texted Jules, asking him to get his ass over here as quickly as possible. I needed to figure this out before she woke up and I got roped into something I couldn’t get out of. I was getting antsy as I waited for Jules to show up. I kept checking on Lindsey, glad that she was still asleep. When Jules finally came, I was so worried that she would wake up that I went out to his truck, hiding in there like a little kid afraid that he would get caught. “What the fuck are you doing?” Jules asked as I ducked down in his truck. “Hiding.” “From what?” “Lindsey. I don’t want her to know I’m out here,” I said as I peeked over the dash. “And you think she wouldn’t think it’s weird for me to be sitting out here by myself?” I looked over at him and sneered. Shifting back up to the seat, I glanced back at the door like she was going to step outside and catch me. “So, what’s with this clandestine meeting?” “I need your help. I’m in a world of shit.” “How can you be in a world of shit? You’re hurt. Isn’t she making sure you’re not feeling any pain?” “That’s the problem. She was taking care of me just fine, but I fucked up last night. After she fucked me, I said something like, I can’t get enough of you. But I meant it like your body is fucking hot and I need more.” “Let me guess, she didn’t take it that way,” Jules deadpanned. “I’m not sure. I thought she was asleep, but then she…” I sighed and groaned in irritation. “She said she loved me.” Jules stared at me a minute before bursting into laughter. “You are so fucked. I told you, you have to be careful. I knew she was going to get attached.” “That’s not very helpful right now.” “What the fuck do you want me to say? Do you love her?” “What? No, I tolerate her.” “Sure,” he snorted. “Seriously, it’s just fucking.” “From what you described, it sounds like you’re falling further down the rabbit hole than you want to admit.” “She’s good in bed and…she gets cold at night.” “Yeah, you were warming her up with your dick and that’s the problem. You never stick around that long. That’s where you fucked up and now you’re going to pay the price.” “How do I fix it? What do I do?” “I guess that depends. Do you still want to fuck her?” I didn’t say anything right away, afraid that he would read too much into it if I admitted that I was addicted to her. “Damn, you’re further in than I thought.” “What? No, it’s just sex. Really good sex and I don’t want to have to give it up.” “Then tell her you love her.” “But I don’t love her,” I said emphatically. “So, you break up with her later,” he shrugged. “Couples break up all the time. Have your fill and then tell her it’s just not working.” “What’s wrong with you? I can’t do that to her.” “Which tells me you’re thinking with more than your dick,” he pointed out. “Shit. I can’t let her think that this can be more. I’m going to have to end it.” “How good is the sex?” Jules asked curiously. “You know when you figure out a rhythm with someone after a few fucks and things really start to click?” “Usually I don’t stick around that long.” “Well, it’s like that, except it was like that from the very beginning. Her body fits perfectly with mine and her pussy is like heaven. There’s this fire that burns between us that’s so hot. I just want to fuck her whenever I’m around her. And then she sleeps with me in bed and every morning I wake up with her pussy juices soaking my dick.” “I’m gonna stop you right there because obviously you can’t see how fucked you are. I can’t help you. You need to talk with Sinner or Cap. They can give you advice.” “No, they’ll tell me to go for it.” “Listen, you’re already in too deep. I would tell you to walk away right now, but the way you’re describing shit with her, that’s not something you’re going to be able to do.” “I can walk away whenever I want.” “Keep telling yourself that. Get the fuck out of my truck. It’s bad enough you lost your dick to a woman, but it’s even worse that you can’t admit it.” “You’re such an asshole.” I got out of the truck, slamming the door and limping toward the house. That was absolutely no help.
✯✯✯✯✯
When she wandered into the kitchen an hour later, I did my best to be really chill. Maybe a little too chill based on the looks I was getting from her. It might have been the fact that I completely ignored her. Or it could have been that I made breakfast, a really good breakfast, but ate it all myself. I didn’t even offer her any. I just ate it in front of her as she dug around for a granola bar. Yeah, it made me a dick, but I didn’t know what else to do. “What’s going on?” she asked as she leaned against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you mean?” “I mean, you’re acting weird this morning. I mean, you’re a dick like always, but…I don’t know. I thought things were changing between us. You know, like we were actually being friends.” “Friends,” I said in a blank tone. “Yeah, you know, we weren’t yelling at each other and it just seemed different.” I stood and took my plate over to the sink, being sure to just leave it laying out, even though I knew it would piss her off that I didn’t put it in the dishwasher. Even worse, I didn’t even rinse it off. Egg yolk was stuck to the plate and I didn’t give a shit. Well, I pretended like I didn’t. When I saw her eyeing the plate and saw her face fall in disappointment, I hated that I was letting her down. “I don’t know what to tell you. We fuck. You want to be friends? That’s fine, but don’t expect me to all the sudden be nice to you. It is what it is.” “Sorry that I thought that we were evolving into more mature adults,” she said as she stalked off toward the bedroom. I hung my head, hating myself for being such a dick. Whatever. I did what I had to do and she wouldn’t mistake us for anything more now. I hobbled off to the bathroom so I could clean my wound and change the bandage. I gathered the supplies and then sat down on the toilet, yanking my shirt over my head. I had some deep gashes on my chest that I had to clean up also. Lindsey walked into the bathroom, giving me an odd look. “Here, let me help you with that.” “I got it,” I said shortly. “Don’t be silly. It’ll be easier for me to do it.” “And have you pass out at my feet when you see the blood?” “It’ll be fine,” she said as she knelt down in front of me. She peeled off a few of the bandages, paling as she saw the stitches. Her face was turning green and and her body was swaying. I gripped her by the arms to steady her. “Would you go the fuck away? I’m already injured. I don’t need you making it worse,” I yelled at her. I didn’t want to, but her kneeling in front of me was giving me the biggest hard on of my life. I wanted to fuck her so bad right then and my dick was showing it. And right when I thought I had truly pissed her off, she looked down and saw my erection pushing against my boxers. She
looked back up at me and my eyes narrowed in on her in challenge. I wanted her to do it. I wanted her to take my cock in her mouth and suck it hard. I wanted to fuck her throat until she was gagging around me. When her fingers pulled at my boxers, pulling the fabric aside to yank me out, I looked up at the ceiling so I didn’t have to watch. If I did, I would blow as soon as she slid me in that sweet mouth. Warmth coated my dick and her moans had me straining to hold back my release. How was I supposed to give this up? When I finally had the nerve to watch her, she looked up at me beneath her lashes, giving me a sexy as fuck look that had me blowing inside her. I couldn’t stop myself if I tried. She took every drop I gave her, swallowing it down and licking her lips in satisfaction. I yanked her up to me and kissed her hard, sliding my tongue in against hers. This was so wrong. I shoved her back a step and stood, going into my bedroom and slamming the door. I avoided her the rest of the day and made sure to sleep on my side of the bed. I didn’t allow myself to pull her into me in the middle of the night. Overall, I was doing a pretty damn good job of keeping her at bay. That is, until I saw her staring out the window the next day with the saddest fucking look on her face. It was fucking torture for me. I hated seeing the sadness in her eyes, and worse, knowing I had caused it. The woman didn’t have a whole lot in her life, but she had me. I could be a nicer guy to her. I could be her friend and show her that I cared. Even if I wasn’t in love with her, I could give her every other part of me. Limping over to her, I rested my hands on her shoulders, pushing my chest right up to her back. She leaned back against me, her head lulling into my shoulder. My lips found her temple, giving her a soft kiss as I wrapped my arms around her. “What was that for?” she asked. “You look sad. I didn’t want you to be sad. What’s going on?” “Just feeling sorry for myself,” she said quietly. “You want to talk about it?” She shrugged, but continued to stare out the window. I could see she wouldn’t open up to me if we stayed like this. “Come on. Come sit with me on the couch. I can’t stay standing.” She turned to me in concern and quickly ushered me over to the couch. While I was doing okay and didn’t really need to sit down yet, it wouldn’t have taken much longer before it was true. She pushed me down on the couch and propped my leg up with some pillows. Then she got a blanket and draped it over me, fussing with making sure I was tucked in. I snatched her hand and pulled her down next to me, pulling her into my chest. This was better. It felt right. “Tell me what’s going on inside that beautiful head.” “I was just thinking about my parents. I never really thought about them very much because I had my grandma. I always told myself that I had all the love in the world and it didn’t matter if I didn’t have them. Then, when she died, I was devastated, but I had the business to keep my mind off things. Now…I just feel lost. I feel so alone.” I could feel her breath hitch in her chest and I knew she was on the verge of tears if she wasn’t crying already. I never knew that she felt this way. She always seemed so strong and sure of herself. But then, I had never really taken the time to get to know her. I was only concerned with myself and my own feelings. “I was just looking out the window and wondering what it would feel like to know that there was someone out there that was thinking of me too. I was wondering what it would be like to know that I have someone to spend holidays with and…” She swiped at her eyes and sniffled. I pulled her tighter against me, wanting to comfort her in any way I could. “You always seem so happy,” I murmured. She snorted, “Is that when I’m yelling at you?” “I just mean that you don’t seem to let life get you down. I’ve never seen you so upset before.” “You don’t really know me, John. We fuck, but it’s not like we have deep, meaningful conversations.” “What brought all this on?” “I think seeing you at the door the other day. You were hurt and your friends were there for you. They wanted to help you. They’ve called to check up on you and they’ve even called me to make sure I don’t need anything. I just…I was just thinking about what it would be like to have friends and family that would care if something happened to me.” “I’d care.” “You’d care because you wouldn’t have a fuck buddy anymore.” I turned her in my arms to face me. “I would care because I care about you. I may not be able to give you all the things you want in life, but I like to think of you as my friend. I would care if something happened.” She rested her head against my chest and we sat there for hours, just lying in the comfort of each other’s arms. I was way too comfortable lying with her and soon fell asleep. When I woke up, she was still in my arms, watching TV and snuggled under the blanket with me. I could get used to this, I thought before I drifted back to sleep.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Lindsey
I HAD FINALLY heard back from my insurance agent. They were still investigating, but had released part of the money. The rest was pending the investigation. It happened to be just enough for a down payment on the house in town that I had been looking at. After contacting the agent, we went through the process of me bidding on the house and finally signed the contracts last week. Today, I was heading in to start work on my new house. I wouldn’t be able to move in until I got the place cleaned up and a few things fixed, but with a few weeks of work, I would be able to move in. That would mean finally having my freedom back. It would also mean that sleeping with John was over. He was only having sex with me because I was convenient. Once I was out of the house, he would find someone else to warm his bed at night. But I had to accept that. John had made it perfectly clear that we were only fucking and that’s all it would ever be between us. I was scrubbing the kitchen floor, trying to clean the years of grime from the hardwood floors. They were disgusting and if there was one thing I couldn’t stand, it was a dirty kitchen. I came across something particularly sticky that I kneeled in and grimaced. “Gross.” I peeled my knee from the sticky spot and stood, only to freeze in place. Less than ten feet from me was a raccoon. “Nice, raccoon,” I said in a placating tone as I pulled out the kitchen chair slowly and took a tentative step up. I quickly scrambled onto the table when it looked like it might come near me. The raccoon quirked its head at me and came a little closer. I didn’t have anything to protect myself from rabid animals. What was I supposed to do? I looked over at the phone on the wall, cursing myself for not having the landline hooked up yet. I hadn’t wanted the extra expense. My cell was on the counter across the room and the raccoon was just staring at me. “Scram! Go away!” The raccoon bared its teeth to me. Maybe yelling at it wasn’t the best way to approach this. I grabbed at the cookies on the table. Maybe if I fed it, it would be satisfied and leave. I pulled open the package and tossed a few cookies to the floor. The raccoon ate them and then came closer for more. By the time I had gone through the whole package, the raccoon was practically up on the chair begging for more. I screamed as it inched closer to me, afraid that it was going to attack at any moment. “Anyone home?” I heard from the front of the house. “In the kitchen. Help!” I had no idea who was there, but I’d take all the help I could get right now. I heard the footsteps approaching, but my eyes stayed trained on the raccoon. When the door opened, a tall, handsome man stopped in the doorway, looking at me strangely. “Um, am I interrupting something?” I pointed at the raccoon that he hadn’t noticed yet. “How the hell did a raccoon get in here?” “I don’t know, but it won’t leave me alone. I tried to feed it, but now it just wants more.” “You fed it?” he asked incredulously. “Are you crazy? What were you thinking?” “I was thinking that if I fed it, it would leave me alone because it was full.” “I’m no expert, but I would guess that feeding a wild animal isn’t the best way to get rid of it.” “Are you going to help me or are you going to just stand there and laugh?” The man moved to the corner of the room where a broom was leaning against the wall. “Okay, I’m going to shoo it toward you and you’re going to open the door to let it out.” “Me? Why do I have to be the one that it comes near?” “Because I have the broom and you’re closer to the door,” he said with a wry smile. “Fine,” I grumbled as I slowly stepped down onto the chair
. I started walking backwards toward the door. “Okay, now when I shoo it toward you, move out of the way and let it run out the door.” I nodded and opened the door wide for the raccoon. When he started chasing the raccoon with the broom, it darted toward me, baring its teeth. The only thing I could think about was getting as far away as possible. I darted out the door, running down the steps, but not before the creature could jump on my back and tackle me to the ground. I screamed as I rolled on the ground, fighting off the deadly beast with my bare hands. It’s claws scratched at my skin, digging in and slitting me open. I would most likely die of blood loss and if not that, an infection or rabies. Then, suddenly, the raccoon was gone and the man rolled me over onto my back. “Quick! You have to put pressure on the wounds. I could die!” The man was kneeling on his haunches and fell back in a fit of laughter. I glared at him, which only made him laugh harder. “Why are you laughing? I could have died!” “I know,” he laughed even harder. “Death by tree branch.” He doubled over, slapping his knee as tears streamed down his face. I looked around, noticing there was a tree branch laying on the ground just a few feet from me. “I don’t understand. What are you saying?” He took a deep breath to compose himself and picked up the branch. “When you ran out of the house, the branch got caught in your hair. It snapped off the tree and landed on top of you.” “No, I…I felt the raccoon,” I said in astonishment. “Its claws-” “Were the branch scratching you. You should have seen your face. It was hilarious.” “That’s not funny.” “Sweetheart, from where I was standing, it was fucking hilarious.” I stood, wiping the dirt from my body as I stormed toward the house. “I’m not your sweetheart, and it’s not nice to make fun of people.” “Hey, stop. I wasn’t making fun of you.” He grabbed onto my wrist, stopping me where I stood and grinned at me as he spun me around. “Honest, I wasn’t making fun of you. It was just funny to see you on the ground, screaming because a branch was attacking you.” I let the anger leach from my body and let out a small chuckle as his face split in a huge grin. I guess from where he was standing, it was pretty funny. “Okay, you’re right. I overreacted.” “Of course, I’m right. I’m a man.” He puffed out his chest as he laughed some more. He really was quite handsome. He had a scruffy jaw and his hair was worn in a short, fluffy kind of way that looked like maybe he missed a haircut. He wore jeans and a red, plaid shirt that showed off his muscles perfectly. Was he John? Definitely not, but he was still worth taking a second look at. “I’m Lindsey,” I said as I thrust out my hand. “Jake.” “Thank you for rescuing me, Jake.” “No problem. I’m always walking around town, looking out for damsels in distress.” “Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind for the next animal that wanders into my house.” I couldn’t wipe the silly grin off my face as I stared at him. It was nice to have a man actually be nice to me and not because I had just given him a blow job. I could feel my cheeks redden as I thought about being down on my knees in front of John, and ducked my head as I pressed my fingers over my shoulder where the branch scraped me. “Uh, I should probably get this cleaned-” I stopped talking as I looked down at my fingers that were covered in blood. “I, uh…” My vision started to go fuzzy and my jaw went slack as I looked up at Jake. The last thing I thought was that I hoped he caught me so I didn’t fall on my face. When I opened my eyes, Jake was leaning over me, his hand resting on my cheek. “Are you okay?” “Yeah,” I said weakly, still feeling like I would fall over at any moment. That’s when I realized that I couldn’t fall over because I was already laying down. Looking around, it became clear that I had been passed out for at least a few minutes. I was inside, lying on the floor of the living room “Did you hit your head when you fell?” he asked, feeling around at the back of my head. “No, it was the blood. I’m a little squeamish. You’re lucky I didn’t throw up on you.” “Well, how about I bandage that up for you, so you don’t pass out again.” “Sounds like a plan.” I sat up and gratefully took his hand that he offered, getting to my feet. “Uh, I don’t think I have anything here for cleaning this,” I said when I looked around the deserted house. “You know, I think I have some stuff in my truck. Just sit tight.” He was out the door in seconds and back in just a few minutes later, carrying an emergency kit. “Alright, turn around and let’s check out the damage.” I turned my back to him and shifted my hair out of the way. It had come loose from its ponytail when the tree branch got caught in it. I felt him pull my shirt away and then felt the brush of his warm fingers against my skin. I wanted to say that it gave me tingles, but sadly, there was nothing. “I think you’re going to have to, uh…” He cleared his throat, making me turn and give him a quizzical look. He pointed at my shirt and started stuttering as he spoke. “Your shirt, blouse, thing is sticking to the blood and…I swear I won’t look, but I can’t clean it up with your shirt sticking to your boobs. Breasts! Back!” I really tried hard not to laugh, but he was so cute, fidgeting and stumbling around. It was strange because he looked so handsome and confident, but right now, he looked like he had swallowed his tongue. In fact, that was actually what turned me off when I first met Ice. His arrogance oozed out of his pores. It was refreshing and strangely disconcerting that this man seemed so timid. I pulled my shirt over my head as I turned around and wrapped my hair back up in my pony o. “You should really be more careful of tree branches,” he mumbled as the first bite of cool liquid hit my skin. “Yeah, that and raccoons roaming my house.” “You’re lucky I was around.” “Why were you around?” I asked, realizing I still didn’t know how I was lucky enough to have him stumble across me. “Funny story,” he said, clearing his throat again. He seemed to do that a lot when he was nervous. “I’m new in town and I work as a carpenter. I was asking around town if anyone needed help and someone told me that this house was just purchased and was going to be fixed up.” “Yeah, I’m turning it into a bed and breakfast.” “Well, if you need some help, I can definitely-” “What the fuck is going on here?” I heard John’s angry voice coming from the doorway, but I couldn’t see him with the way I was sitting. I felt Jake’s hand still on my back. I quickly snatched my shirt up and yanked it on over my head, ignoring the fact that Jake’s hand was just resting against my skin. “John, what are you doing here?” I asked as I spun around, stepping in front of Jake. “I came by to see if you needed some help, but I see you’ve already got a handyman around the house.” “John, this is Jake. He actually is a handyman and he was coming to see if I needed any work done.” “I can see that,” he bit out. “You want to pull your shirt down the rest of the way?” I looked down and saw that my belly was still exposed because my shirt was stuck on my breast. Damn boobs always got in the way of everything. I yanked my shirt the rest of the way down and fixed my hair. For some reason, I wasn’t sure what I wanted John to think was going on. “Jake was just helping with the raccoon that was trying to eat me for lunch and then a tree branch tackled me to the ground and I was bleeding.” “And then she passed out, so-” John cut him off when he stormed over to me and spun me around, yanking my shirt open in the back so that he could see. “What the fuck did you do?” “Tree branch,” I said stupidly. “Yeah, I got that part. Why do you look like you were fighting with it?” “Well, it got stuck in my hair and I thought it was the raccoon. It could have happened to anyone.” “But it didn’t,” he said tersely. “I got it from here, Al. You can hit the road.” “It’s Jake,” Jake said without a bit of anger. He was obviously a bigger man than Ice. Well, not literally. John was built like he had muscles on top of muscles. “Whatever. I’ll take care of her.” Jake nodded and then turned back to me, slipping a card into my hand. “That’s my number. Give me a call if you want help on the house.” I could sense the anger coming off John in waves, but I didn’t understand why. I was just a fuck buddy to him. I was nothing. He had no right to be upset that another man had his hands on me, even if it was purely platonic. “Did you hit your head?” he asked gruffly. “No.” He placed a bandage on my back and then his fingers drifted down my spine, sending
tingles through every nerve in my body. “You need to be more careful. Those cuts are pretty nasty.” “It could have been worse.” “How’s that?” “It could have been the raccoon attacking me.” “Yeah, you’re going to have to explain that one to me.” “Some other time,” I said as I turned around. “I have a lot of work to do today and I’ve wasted enough time.” He grabbed my arm as I started to walk away. “I don’t like that he saw you naked.” “He didn’t. I had my shirt off so he could clean up my back. That’s hardly naked.” “Close enough. He touched what’s mine.” I cocked my head to the side as I looked at him. “But I’m not really yours, am I?” He didn’t say anything and I took that as my answer, walking away before that conversation could get out of hand.
Ice: A Reed Security Romance Page 10